I am a cismale, and I have several kids, including my trans teenage daughter. She came out last year, and my partner and I have tried to give nothing but love and support to her.
I have joint custody of the kids with their mother, my ex-wife. The divorce was largely amicable, but we do not speak much except regarding the kids. They spend half their time with her, and half with me.
My ex is with a very conservative partner, and they have a young child together. That household has not been handling my daughter coming out as trans well. The children are at their mom's now, and apparently things have come to a head. My ex's partner explained that being trans is obviously contagious, is a mental illness, and will not have his child (my daughter's sibling, I need to emphasize) being influenced by this. My ex issued an ultimatum framed as a choice: our daughter either had to present as male and use her deadname and dead pronouns while at that house, or live with me full-time.
My daughter chose the latter.
I've just learned about this via my daughter. I immediately responded that, if that is the situation she is being put in, of course she can live with me full-time. Over the past four years I have never said anything negative about my ex or her partner with the kids around, and encouraged them to have a close and loving relationship with their mom. I am shocked that my ex has issued this ultimatum - I would always say that, whatever the problems we had in our marriage, s