/fit/ - Health and Fitness

>>898 (OP) 
We have an old monkey guy at our :
>Obsessed with crossfit
>Uses only plates to do exercises
>brings his fat son to train him only to do shitty plates exercises with fast momentum that does jack shit.
>Does a shadow boxing with dumbells but with little movement.
>And he doesn't stop FUCKING MOVING AT ALL HE'S LIKE KID WHO SNIFFED TO MUCH CRACK

>jew with ginger hair that goes hard each workout
>trainer that looks exactly like CIA but a bit older
>short dangerhair trainer with her young daughter that sits in one of the upside down wooden stools with her tablet, cat ear headphones, and giant teddy bear
>thot that uses the bar as a scratching post
>ginger girl that's basically the gym jani
>gym owner's german shepherd that sits by the desk the whole time, he is a good boy

>gym archetypes
I would name some if I knew them, but that would require me to go to a gym.
But mom says gyms are for fags, so it's a no-no.

>>1486
your mom is gay

>>1486
Sorry you have a shitty mom, man.
>>1488
Checked and Heiled for posterity.

>>898 (OP) 
I have someone similar to old-balance guy, but not exactly. My major gym character is one that is unlike any other gym character I've seen online.

The "Beefcake"
>40 to 50-year-old woman, old enough to have a daughter.
>dressed out in tight-fitting black spandex, top and bottom.
>She told my dad "call me beefcake". I shit you not.
>Blond hair. hard body, everything about her would make a milf-hunter thirstier than a concrete brick...
>...Except her personality.
>She's very loud, almost yells out her movements like she subconsciously wants everyone to know where she is at all times.

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>>1468
I know that onions are good for that kind of thing. Funny that you mention that, I would make a stir fry of onions and green beans and it came out pretty well. I also think peanuts are a pretty good source of protein. They're also high in healthy fats and fairly easy to grow. It's actually rather interesting we call them pea"NUTS". They're not technically a part of nut family like almonds and walnuts  but instead are a part of the legume family. So much so that they grow in the ground, much like potatoes. In fact, most legumes do.

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>>1470
>nuts
I don't knnnow in what way nuts would be useful for gaining mass if I were to make a diet on them. They are generally pricey and they can hardly be cooked into anything. So I generally eat them raw, which again works mostly as a snack rather than an actual meal/sidemeal.
And about onions, they were high on proteins? Thought they had metals, vitamins or something else, like the spinach is rich in iron. I know my grandfather always eats plenty of raw onions, and I know him to work consistently hard on the countryside, even well into his 80's. Absolutaly respectable I would say.

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>>1472
>nuts
Anon, my post was about peanuts, which are legumes. Here is the nutritional of peanuts. Also, yeah you're right. Onions are more valuable for their other metals and vitamins. Another thing they're good for is adding flavor to meats and even other vegetables as I mentioned with the green beans and onions stir fry.

>>1468
I am also curious about this, considering how fucked inflation is right now buying meat is about to get a lot harder and i am also about to be unemployed, beans are dirt fucking cheap but I don't know what their ratio in protein/fat/carbs is to a lean steak. i've been doing leangains since January with good results (-25lbs of fat) but it has a very specific diet regimen that I don't want to throw off.

>>1465
>>1216 (OP) 
Any beans will work as a cheap proteins, so do oats.

This is relevant to my interests, because I need your help with a recipe /fit/.

I'm trying to figure out a "barebones almost-beef bean burger" recipe that has the non-mandatory ingredients omitted (meaning, I can add whatever the fuck I want to it within reason, without being afraid of fucking it up.).

Youtube and reddit are usually decent for recipes, but I'm losing my mind getting fucking drowned in recipes that are either vegan trash or add way too fucking many things. Fuck. Even if I add minus tags to reduce the utter hell of shitty search results,  I FUCKING STILL get recipes that just feel like there's far too much non-mandatory bullshit even if it says "simple" in the recipe.


Here's what I do know bean burgers need
*** Of course, beans. from what I've seen, any variety that exists in a can can be pureed for burgers, even chickpeas. It just needs to go through the usual bean-cooking process.
*** Something to keep it stable but mushy enough to shape it before you bake it.
*** Flavors (which as for the barebones part, these will be added in on a per-cook basis, and in this recipe are omitted)

find a womyn or some other outlet for your sexual frustration. work on something creative, channel it into your workouts, anything at all. considering how much smut is on imageboards as well it may be smart to stay off of them entirely as well, or browse them with all images hidden. all it takes is a glance of a tit to drive you into a frenzy sometimes.

>>1044 (OP) 
Start meditating and then become acutely aware that you're attaining orgasm to a video of another man's pleasure as opposed to your own.

>>1044 (OP) 
Are you ashamed of your sexuality, OP?

>>1327 (OP) 
I remember how eating diatomaceous earth (and orange juice) was such a huge "it gives energy" meme among the vegan/fitness/health community for no fucking reason. Some anon tried it out and didn't find anything conclusive,  except speculating that it was the orange juice that gave these people energy because they ate like shit.

I'm getting the same vibe from this. Getting benefits but not for the reasons they think they do.

>>1327 (OP) 
Getting sun on your skin starts the vitamin D production in your body, which makes you happy. If you are a sick city indoor hipster, getting into the sun will improve your health regardless of what part of your body you tan.

>>1290 (OP) 
I can advise you the following stretches and exercises for sexual awesomeness:

Exercises for sexual competence
Planking, rotisserie rolls, other core-area workouts - this will help you last when on top of her, core stamina is important for missionary or any sex position where you're on top of her.
Squats, lunges - Sex is mostly hips and leg action, with arms as a means of support.
Cardio - For stamina in general.

Stretches for sexual competence
Most of these are yoga poses, so it should help you enough.

Horse Pose, Child's pose, deep squats - Keep that pelvic-floor nice and loose so you can come like a beast.
Cobra pose, king cobra pose, bed-hanging - Keeps your core loose, because missionary.
Bridge pose, downward dog oise, butterfly pose (wall) - keep the legs nice and loose too, they support your hips, which hold your baby-making center.

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>>1314
>/monster/ has a madlad that made his own 3D-printed molds for silicone onaholes.
most 3d printers use plastic, not silicon. unless you're sure of the material being used it will basically be pic related. posting this because i know some retard is going to try it without thinking.

>>1314
How does meditation work?
I've tried it a few times but I'm never sure of what I'm supposed to do. 
>>1315
>3D-printed 'molds' for silicone onaholes

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>>1314
Thank you for the detailed reply, but the problem has resolved itself. I can last far longer than I would ever reasonably want to, and the only thing I changed in my routine was practice. I think it was a 50/50 split between novelty and technique. I find that paradoxically the rougher I go, the longer I last because the best sensation, especially with condoms, is sliding all the way in.

>>1316
>>1315
>The keyword is indeed "mold". You print it and -then- you mix/fill the silicone.

>How does meditation work.
It works by basically setting your mind to the equivalent of giving your mind superuser privileges.

You'll know when you -got it- when your mind is in "The Zone". You can achieve this state while moving or in action too, if you get really-involved with something, that's a pretty similar state. The difference is that we're achieving this in a state of relaxation instead of one of action.

Ultimately it matters not if you actually are active or relaxing, what matters is your state of mind.

Also, sorry if this sounds really weird. meditation is one of those things that is easier to get when you experience it. If you find yourself overthinking it, I would suggest you try out inner child work and self-forgiveness first.

Keep in mind. my examples in that list are solely just the surface on what mental work is and can entail. There is a -lot- of information out there on how to help yourself and the ways you can help yourself.

I don't know jack about sprinting. Never done it before. What would you recommend for someone who just wants try it casually OP? Any tips or good resources?

>>1295 (OP) 
>you will never be able to run from that feel

bring snax

>>1213
The weight distribution changes your gait/body mechanics. That may or may not be a concern depending on goals and priorities. It's also hard on your pack, I've ruined multiple packs from carrying heavy shit in them.

I just bought a Brute Force 40lb weight vest, I will test it out once I pack it with sand and let you all know my review.

I kind of want to do this with chain mail because chain mail is cool and it'd give me an excuse to have it.

>>1223
You'd be protected against wild nigger attacks if you live in London!

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>>1190 (OP) 
>

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>>1048
Next time try to convert all of the files into pdf. I was recently gifted a Kindle and apparently it ((( ((( (((doesn't support))) ))) ))) epub.
Complaining here mostly because I have to manually convert them now.

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>>1071
Calibre wasn't being a bitch so I decided to do your work for free.
https://mega.nz/folder/wEEAyLwK#-X4YS2kuCaQZnibkkBfRDQ
Here are all the files AmaZOG's ((( (((Kindred))) ))) won't recognize into its system.
Fuck you.

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>>1072
>fuck you
Th-thanks, you too.
Since it werks on my machine (kobo), I didn't realise the absolute state of kindle. Imagine an ereader that can't read epubs.

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>>1074
>that can't
That won't.

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you wouldn't believe how much I like this book's cover art. bros for life.