/hikki/ - Hikikomori

The modern hermit

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/hkgenneral/ - thread for general discussion here.

>in before this become the final new thread that is not a staff announcement.
what's the question of the day for this general?
my life is still the same since the last time I was on this site. the only thing that's changed is that I've become MUCH more stressed and angry.
Not much to look forward to either in the future. I'm going to become homeless without a doubt, so my life is going to regress even more. I'm going to have spiders and snakes and all kinds of other trash all around me because of where I'm going to be homeless.
I would hope that god would save me, but he doesn't seem to be around anymore.

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Just like the suicide thread in the previous board. Share any struggles you might have regarding suicide, any past failed attempts and/or why do you think suicide may be the answer to all this you're going through. 

I've been procrastinating/delaying my suicide plan for over 5 years now, partly because I'm scared of what comes after death as I cannot know for sure what will happen once I'm on the other side and this kind of scaring me and holding me back from killing myself. Maybe it's the survival instinct in the end? I attempted suicide for like 8 times in 3 years now and every-time I was saved by either a stranger or a family member and this didn't change my mindset or made me think less of it. The desire to eradicate this body, this existence is getting stronger day after day especially these days, but I'm still hesitating to actually go with it, as I still have somewhat of a brief feeling of hope that my ways might change in the future but then I rethink it and figure out that I'm in my early 20's now and still haven't done anything significant with my life, still trying to find a purpose, a motivation or maybe a dream to live for, meanwhile everyone my age around me is graduating college and passing through different phases with their lives, all while I'm still stuck in the no-purpose teenage-like kind of existentialism. It really gets very boring everyday and Idk what to do anymore.
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Replies: >>655 >>796 + 2 earlier
Is your boyfriend Mr. Hands?
>>86 (OP) 
Well, I have left my comfort zone for sometime, back in highschool I was very isolated /hikki/, I have had no friends, I was barely going to my lessons which was being given in some times of the week, and I wasn't even attending like a good boy, I was getting all the money I have to waste it on ciggaretes or just to smoke tobacco.
In reality, many habits, and many featuers of my personality have been decided, like me being angry most of the time and so frustrated from the whole situation I am living.
I am suffering from some diseases and which I can not get enough money to check myself for a doctor, I don't have any kind of courage to tell my parents to do anything for me, they too are suffering because they have aged.
After I stopped being hikki for sometime in my 1st year in collage, I tried to speak with people, and god, it feels so fucking stupid, it feels so goddamned idiocy.
I tried to get myself a job and I did, and it was considerd a success, but I wasn't feeling good at all, because the colleagues were so fucking edgy assholes, I just couldn't do anything, I have done nothing but to bring all of my social-awkwardness and to show it in front of the people there.
Things didn't change really.
Three months ago I have came to know that I have failed in my academic year for the 2nd time during my whole studying carrer. yet the only hope was that I prefect some skill of mine, I studi
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I feel that I became so near from something I wasn't willing even in my most desperate moments to do.
Anyways, I think everything was already concluded, but I was too slow, to realize (as I always were and still).
This feelings of imprisonment and encirclement which I feel, the feel for need, I hate the idea of showing myself to my mind as a victim, I really hate it, I don't want ever to be the victim, I don't want to cry myself just to the fact that things always goes this way.
But any human being has his limits, and I have reached mine in reality.
Things which I didn't start, I found other people ending, I never had the courage to start anything, this stance of ignoring as if nothing happens, I just can't stand this anymore.
The mere fact that these things just torture me for nothing, that despite all of the idiotic actions which I have committed against myself, I didn't do anything by god I swear, yet I find myself facing the canons myself, alone, as always.
What the fuck is life?
And why one should just keep thinking himself even if he has no hand in changing anything?
If one just feel that he's out of this whole world.
I am done.
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I can't attempt suicide anymore, because I'm christian.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm stuck in this "life". All I can do is to try to make it through the days, but I can't drink alcohol anymore, or sleep for long hours(sloth).
And absolutely nothing changes in my life, and I doubt any outside force is going to help me out.
I hope God returns this year, otherwise I'm going to become homeless.
>>86 (OP) 
I just had a dream that was just about demons harrassing people.
I'm guessing it's because I've been sinning lately.
Wish I could have happy dreams.
I wonder why god punishes people that HE is responsible for creating and attacking and causing to sin.

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what has your family's reaction been to you being a hikikomori? I've noticed my family almost stopped caring about my lifestyle entirely after I entered my late 20s.
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Replies: >>778 >>793 + 3 earlier
Well, after several unfortunate attempts and health issues, I find myself among the ranks of you weeaboos.

I had to return to living with family
I haven't worked for over half a year because of health issues
I rarely go out unless it's to buy food
i have lost interest in pursuing women (i don't have any issues attracting and engaging with women but this current political climate is insufferable and all the women I have met recently are consumed with woke bullshit)
I spend my days online and doing digital art, shit posting but mainly looking at porn like a fucking degenerate

i need to return to the gym and get myself together. this hermit lifestyle is utter bullshit

my family understands the hinderances but they're also telling me i need to get my shit together and it's true
All my friends have either moved away or live in other countries (real friends, not anons) so I don't have any friends anymore in a sense. I have no one to call or hang out with at the moment (it's been like this for 2 years now).

I rarely get out of bed.

I don't have fights with my family, we get along.

they are the only people I have substantial human contact with
>>22 (OP) 
After the first few years she stopped caring. Although she still views me as a parasite and takes her frustration out on me and gets very short with me a lot.
All I can hope for is that God kills me soon.
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>>22 (OP) 
Wish I could've had a family like in an american family show (like 7th heaven or whatever).
Seems like most "parents" are passive, which is wrong. You should ALWAYS be active in everything.
But I've grown past the need for guidance.
Now I just try to stay on the right path and hope that something clicks to make me immune to sinful things.
I'm going to try to completely avoid all temptations, but it'll be hard, since I don't have much(healthy things) to occupy my time with.

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Food has gotten exponentially more expensive lately and I've been in need of more things to make that don't break the bank. If you have any recommendations and recipes I would appreciate it.
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first ingredients
you'll need 
2 cups of soy sauce
1 cup of any east asian wine(ive used sake but I use Mirin mostly)
a tablespoon of honey
a tablespoon of ground ginger
a few shakes of garlic powder
3 cloves of garlic
corn starch
boneless skinless chicken thighs
first mix the sauce its very easy use every ingredient in it besides the corn starch garlic cloves and chicken thighs
then fry your chicken and crushed garlic cloves until they are fully cooked then add the sauce
wait for the sauce to heat up before adding the corn starch 
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Have you tried this yourself? Two sausages and a glass of milk are better than nothing or a carb-heavy diet depending on how much you can handle hunger.
Bananas - $0.70 a pound. Oatmeal appears expensive at first, but you get many bowls from a bag or tube of it. Rice of course - drown in soy sauce or butter and sugar if you can't afford to top with meat that day or don't have fresh vegetables.
Has anyone tried pork flossing on to their rice? Its nice if you can't afford rice.
Replies: >>791
I meant meat, if you cant afford meat on your rice you'll use pork flossing, brb kms

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Share your daily routine anons 

I'm a little bit more productive these days and feeling good on the emotional and mental side, so I been waking up early in the morning and adjusting to my new plans for the remaining 6 months of this year.
>wake up at 5-7 am 
>use face cleanser and wash teeth, make a hot cup of green tea
>planning my food for the day as I been doing OMAD for half a month now, seeing as it's easier to manage the meal and get my daily needed calories and proteins, instead of having to eat 3+ times a day
>go online, lurk shitchan /fit/ and watch some YT videos of the people I'm subbed to
>watch a movie 
>5 PM. sit down to eat my daily meal
>7-8 PM. Meditate and do some relaxing techniques to chill down before heading to bed
>sleep at 9 PM max. 
I've been thinking about adding a one hour working-out plan to my routine but I'm still kind of lazy and ain't able to go through with it, but it's getting better or at least I'm hoping it gets better and I actually manage to add an exercise plan to my day. 
Also I live in a very negative environment inside my parents house and it's been drastically affecting my mental health far more than what isolation does to me and I'm really sick of it bu
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Replies: >>737 >>780 + 3 earlier
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what the heck am i doing anymore
>wake up around 7
>walk around room clean it think about productive things i could do
>eat breakfast around 9
>surf web
>ill go down for dinner at around 6
>hang out there for a while sometimes
>get sleepy around 8-9
so pathetic i remember when i would at least do some online assignments and stuff
I wake up between ten AM and two PM, make myself something to eat, shower or don't.
Then I read/play/watch/talk/listen until five or six, I get hungry and make myself something to eat.
Then I do whatever I want until ten or eleven when I get hungry again and make more food.
Then I do whatever I want until two AM. I have set this as my "bed time" so I usually hit the sheets then but sometimes I'm too into whatever I'm reading/playing/watching/talking/listening so it gets postponed. I usually suffer when that happens, sleep a lot later, eyes hurt, that kind of thing.
This image is cute. You have good taste in cute images.Also it's good to see another member of the having-other-people-deliver-your-groceries gang.
>>136 (OP) 
Call me a newfag but who's the OP picture.
>wake up at 2-3 pm
>drinks water and do exercise with ambu
>do anki and read the bible
>lurk chans listening songs
>watch random yt videos
>pray a mystery of the rosary
>maybe watch a movie
>read book
>sleep at 5-6 am
>>136 (OP) 
The times I sleep vary all the time, because we have schedules for when we have electricity throughout the day (4hrs on, 4hrs off, 4hrs on, etc.).
The only things that stay consistent is that I do the dishes first thing in the morning, and then during the first power outage I shower, brush my teeth, and then sleep through whatever time's left.
Can't believe God placed my in this shithole.

How do i get mood again.
Replies: >>748 >>760
>>745 (OP) 
Music maybe. Anime. I d on 't know.
>>745 (OP) 

Not sure what would work for you, but personally working out helped me a lot on self-image and mood, and i'm not even going to the gym, i'm doing everything at home.

And I suppose watching/playing old nostalgic stuff from the 2000s (sometimes a little bit before), a time where society was much saner therefore with products of higher quality and that completely lack any degeneracy of today (mainly getting them through the use of torrents or else) while giving the feeling of being in a sort of time capsule when everything was better then.

I also found a taste for obscure/niche stuff, and data-hoarding (reminder that in december, google is going to remove all youtube videos from channels inactive for more than 2 years), helps somewhat getting myself occupied.

Also it's probably hardly possible for you (same for me) but try to cut pr0n as much as you can, and avoid industrial sugar (that I succeed at however)/sweets, I also found some 15 minutes every few days outside (in countryside) helped a lot. And not using social medias or watching TV at all.

Hope you update us with how your life goes on, Anon.
I have severe problems with anger. The smallest things, like how someone talks to me, can set me off and make me upset all day and punch things.
The only things that slightly cools me down is when I take a shower or a short sleep.
It's also good to have different kinds of playlists on yt to help switch moods(the only mood a person should be in is a calm/slightly cheerful one).

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A continuation of the old thread on the old board. How far did you get before abandoning everything? 
I was never able to finish my first year of high school before dropping out until I was forced in my early 20s to going to night school to get a diploma before cutting off everything completely.
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Replies: >>687 >>777 + 2 earlier
>>178 (OP) 
Is this me?
your dad would be glad to talk to you imo, give him a call
Did all the things people said I should do "enjoy life" like changing cities, getting a career, a GF, doing drugs, renting your own place, college
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Barely finished college, dropped out of uni. Cant even bring myself to get my documents back. Got a couple of shitty jobs tho, years ago. Was fired for getting gallbladder stones removed. Haven't left the house in 6 weeks or maybe more. 
Interacting with people is a nightmare, even if I like them and enjoy their company. Recent chapter of chainsaw man summarized it very well.
>>178 (OP) 
I got into a cheap college, but had to drop out because my mother had some financial problems.
I also had a few jobs in my early 20's, but it was just shelve packing jobs and 2 cashier jobs.
I now have no money, friends, health, or anything else. I'm worse off than I was 15+ years ago.
The only thing I have to look forward to is God's return.

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How to control watercolor like https://characterdesignreferences.com/artist-of-the-week-7/makoto-kobayashi
And the realism of it
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This has nothing to do with being hikki
Replies: >>755
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watercolor is a great hobby for hikkis. Its a very cheep hobby and its how a lot of retro manga got colored.
Replies: >>765
watercolor pencils are actually pretty cheap, watercolour frens keep making le drawings.
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well /hikki/, what is the best and worst incarnation of nhk? the light novel will always be better then both the anime and manga to me and the anime is worse then the manga.
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Replies: >>662 + 2 earlier
anything better?
Replies: >>505
if you can read nip the read the original however I own the light novel physically and it was pretty good last time I read it.
>>147 (OP) 
Both manga and anime are awful garbage but the anime is better, presumably because the original creator had less input
Replies: >>667
after his recent sequel id rather have someone else work on adaptations.
they were all of them different and lack of something. it should have a bit longer to my test

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Tell me popular 6 digit career these days
Replies: >>641 >>698
>>640 (OP) 
drug dealer. idk, you expect us to know anything about jobs???
>space marine nigger asking hikkis about jobs
lel absolute retard
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>>640 (OP) 

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