FAKE NEWS
This is your friendly local reporting tengu back delivering the NEWS THAT MATTERS. Good evening and welcome to Tucker Carlson tonight. This week, we've reached happenings measuring 9 on the Ron Paulerson scale.
Starting with the most important topic, this tengu had the vote stolen over on /2hu/. The crime was allegedly perpetuated by none other than ChiCom backed agent Ranfag, who replaced the corner image with some other shineslut instead. We have evidence that suggests that he only counted illegal ballots for his candidate of choice. Many have expressed their outrage at this turn of events. The Wu Mao are in full force defending this action of course. When approached for comment, he REFUSED. I think it's safe to say that he works for the Associated Press.
The GN went down again for what feels like the 3rd time this month. Trevor claims that this was because his was because his bank wouldn't allow him to go any deeper into overdraft. His users suspect that this is another ploy to grabble more shitcoins from his extremely wealthy and employed userbase. In protest, they once again took to the streets of ota flinging frogs and hau. When approached for comment, the hearthstone pro replied with
>wew
Beg all you want but I don't have any left to give. I already sold most of my worldly possessions so I could buy Hatate.
Ben Garrison got banned from Twitter. You can imagine my shock when that hero got unjustifiably attacked by Big Tech. This is a coordinated assault on any freedom fighters on the internet. As soon as dup gave the signal that he was backing down (((they))) quickly swept up any opposition or known bad goys. Naturally, this tengu was also cancelled for the umpteenth time. It's only a matter of time before you're next Anon!
Another board owner sperged out and left his post following critique from his users. This time it was Hisuimeido, the zigger /tech/ BO and newly annointed /a/ BO. It is unfortunate after a successful sponsored petition for a board it almost immediately succumbed to rulecuckery. The pussification of jannies has been an ongoing threat as of late. After deleting /a/ and unlisting /tech/ he left a message of "im out". He isn't the first to abscond like this, and this reporting agency suspects that he won't be the last.
Dup got btfo'd as you may have heard already. I can't believe I'm writing this but yes, THEY TOOK HIS PRESS PASS. The mainstream media is currently pushing this harder than the plague. After getting the big del from every major social media platform, he supposedly has taken to funposting over VPNs. An amusing turn of events, as what he's doing right now seems to be the equivalent of making "I'm 12, what is this" posts. If there's anything to take away from this, this tengu honestly believes that you should hunker down and stock up. There are probably going to be dark days ahead for us all.
If anyone has a POZ LOAD TIP or HOT TAKE they want to share with their friendly local reporting agency, this tengu is MORE THAN WILLING to perform sexual favors in exchange for information. INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: coprophilia, Trevor roleplay, kigurumi bdsm, ota trip worship, and allowing you to use Hatate in any way you see fit. Find me in the Gatorland offender registry for more details.
This has been your friendly local reporting tengu, signing off.