/r9k/ - robot9000

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>Exposition A
>Play Tabletop 40k (3rd edition) on Maptool with some dude
>Lose a Land Raider first turn to lucky 6's
>Fail 3 consecutive 2+ rolls aganist a single sentinel
>Fail more +3 saves that i can count
>Play 2 more games that end up in similar results
>do the math after the game
>Tabletop 40k requiring you to pass multiple checks without failing a single one just to remove an enemy figure generates a probability curve that essentially fucks you over and makes overall success rates very low
>do some recon on the internets (mainly old fart forums) to check if the game is this bad or im just fucking up the rules somewhere
>Turns out everyone defends rolling buckets of dice with nil chances and apparently i should just "git gud" instead of pointing out design flaws
>Picrelated treating a dice-rolled russian roulette of a miniatures wargame set in the most creatively bankrupt and unoriginal setting to date as if it is a litmus test for sufi initiation

>Exposition B
>Be playing XCOM-Enemy Unknown
>Put it on classic because i've played enough UFO:Defence
>Ayys can shoot through full cover no questions asked
>Fail more 90% shots that i can count
>Fail more damage checks leaving Ayys at 1 HP than i can count
>Ayys can peak out and one shot you in a single turn
>Meme enemy that chokes your units, goes into stealth and the few times you can shoot at it it gives you a flat -20% to hit him because it's a flyer
>The game is just not fun at this point and i'd rather be getting reaction-fire fucked every time i drop from the skyranger at old UFO because at least in that game you can counter-fuck them with smokes and HE shenanigans
>Again, do some recon to see if im being retarded or this game is really this much of a trainwreck
>"nuh-uh you BAAAD nothing wrong with Ayys straight up ignoring a -80% full cover + hunker down penalty"
>Alternatively "Just lower difficulty bro" as if a intrinsic issue with the way the game is designed is gonna be solved by putting a band aid of lowering the difficulty so that the game gives you the unfair bonuses instead of the AI

>Exposition C
>Months ago, maybe a year i can't really remember
>be on one of the videogame boards
>"RTS games suck because they are hyperspecific excersises in gookclicking, wich is good if you like gookclicking but if you want to just play a strategy game you're fucked because the industry is landlocked in making iterations of starcraft with a different coat of paint"
>the first reply to that is "you are bad at RTS games lol" and being accused of reddit-spacing

the above expositions are just the tip of the iceberg but character limit won't let me

>Have poorly designed game
>Point it out
>Litmus patrol is deployed "Git Gud" is uttered
>Poorly designed game gets off scot free
>Videogame company keeps pumping out poorly designed games
>Tfw these people will be the same people that curse and lament themselves when shit games are made and the videogame industry gets more and more scummy by the day

>if you dislike something ever its because you are bad at it and any points you may have are invalid
>somehow im the one diagnosed with a personality disorder, but the stockholm syndrome gamblers above are regarded as perfectly sane human beings
alternatively
>Nothing i ever say today, yersterday or tomorrow will ever be valid because someone will find a quirk in my behaviour and call me a schizo
wew lad

on a completely unrelated note, i almost finished the Final version of Dispossesed/YRS/ACID System/Every single previous attempt at making my own RPG system, turned out very different from what it was supposed to be but for once, its something i actually want to play without going "i should just fork Storyteller/play FUDGE instead", got nothing to show for it beyond a text file though, gotta get it all in a neat PDF and all that

>>3883 (OP) 
>a new one
Why though?

>>3886
Threads have a reply limit of 500 posts.

I've noticed that people often bemoan a lack of special experiences when they are generally attainable (sometimes even if poor). In one summer, I went to a stand-up comedy event and hiked up a difficult mountain.
When I was eight years old, I recall going out west. The morning after the flight, I saw mountains in the distance. At the time, they were scenery to me. Hiking them is a magical experience because what was once something I never even imagined myself doing becomes a tangible experience.

>>3894
Ah for fuck's sake something fucked the formatting and pictures, fixed it tho, sorry for the fuck up

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Every year, I find it more and more difficult to make friends online (IRL is a lost cause). I have myself to blame in large part though, considering I keep removing people because I get bored/tired/uncomfortable around them. I recently removed someone I was somewhat close with because he was starting to annoy me and because he’d try to get me to go back to a shitty MMO I’m trying to quit for good. Alcohol was involved in that decision, and I know it was a shitty way to go about it, but whatever. I’m a shitty person anyway, it’s not a bad thing to not be involved with me.

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>>3901
why do you want friends for though?
could always be worse, you could be stuck living in a shithole hillbilly town where everyone has 6+ dogs that keep barking at 3AM, or nigger neighbors that blast music at full volume to the point where your walls literally shake, even worse yet you could be one of those niggers (and then think you are one of the good guys), take a deep breath and be thankful you're not one of those niggers

take it one step at a time, most people are niggers anyways and you'd be surprised at the ammount of fags that WILL betray you, specially online friendships, in my experience most fags online will get along with you in exchange for one thing, for example friends that you play with, and you only ever play shit with them, they don't care about your life beyond that, ideological friends that only orbit around you to discuss XYZ, then as soon as you no longer feed into that, ciao, in reality it is no different from IRL friends actually, everyone's just a nigger

the golden rule i've witnessed myself is that having common life-or-death/extreme experience is what makes people stick with you, or rather that it is the litmus test to know if you can really relate to someone

an example i can give of this is my only IRL friend that i have, or rather the only IRL friend that i haven't willingly pushed away/cut ties with, he had a falling out with his Ex-gf, got himself fucked up over 3dpd and started hanging out with retards he didn't even like, i called him out on him turning his entire fucking life into a trainwreck, he pushed me away because he didn't like what i had to say, some time later (years) he realizes everything i said was true and that i was prettymuch the only fag in his environment that was being truthful, he decided to un-fuck himself, we re-established contact and we've been close ever since, he's had a few chances to fuck me over, he never did, i had more than a few chances to fuck him over, i never did, why? because we went through shit together, i was honest to him, and he was honest to me, shit happened

it is only normal that you end up being bored or uncomftable with peope if the only interests they ever had were surface-level shit, like trying to get you back on a MMO

regardless of all of the above, remember that everyone dies alone, you don't get to bring friends
you should also start running, it fires up your fucking synapses and gets your heart pumping, its the shit yo

>>3902
I get it, I have had bad experiences too and I definitely learned not to open up too much to others. I'm old enough to have learned the hard way that there's no point in being too transparent to others, it can only be a bad thing. It's just that sometimes, the lizard brain compels me to get close to people sometimes, even though I know rationally that internet "friends" are whatever and not shit that's meant to last or be taken seriously.

I wish I could write something interesting about myself or my life, but I feel like I have nothing to contribute and words have never been my strength. I only ever end up incomprehensively rambling.
It is always a mystery to me how you manage to consistently find interesting things to talk about and in the form of elaborate text walls.
I wish I could become more literate, more aware of myself and my sorroundings. The last few months have already improved my ability to reflect on my own actions, but I can't properly articulate it. I still feel like a shallow cattle human. Perhaps I am what you would call a failed normalnigger. Ignorance is bliss.

In spite of my infatuation with imageboards and internet culture, I've had to realize that my lack of creativity or anything worthwile to the internet means that I am only a net weight on any sort of community that I get involved with.
Due to this and my overall inexperience and ineptitude, I am now convinced that I am part of the cancer that is killing the internet.

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>>3904
>consistently find interesting things to talk about and in the form of elaborate text walls.
Making OC, memes and just getting myself busy with extended projects is the only thing keeping me sane and keeping the anxiety of my noise-enriched environment, just focus on performing a task and shutting down my thinking faculties, for me writting walls of text is the fine line between staying sane or having a mental breakdown and crumbling under the visicissudes of physical "reality"

>>3906
For worthless subhuman cattle like me there's easier escapism like watching cartoons or listening to music

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>>3907
>Watching cartoons
Used to read mangas but scanlation teams never translate the shit i read, and i did not have the funds/knowledge of moon runes to scanlate myself so i dropped that
>Listening to music
i blast DnB and Breakcore on a daily basis because its better than listening to the constant noise of the satanic hellspawns around me
boardgames/wargaming is where's at tho, its surprising how much you can learn about game design (and how poorly designed most popular videogames are) by playing the damn things

>>3905
Don't despair. Sometimes a clever or dumb but funny remark can uplift a thread's value. Even questions can be useful and bring out interesting information from anons to whom that question wouldn't occur otherwise.

Still working on my game. The algorithms I'm using for entity movement is always completed, but when has it not? At the very least it's at the very final stage. Nothing but some peculiar bugs stands in the way of moving on to something else.

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>>3910
I don't know how english.

>>3691
>the lowest ends of humanity will form temporary "robot" groups but will always die out
For the most part, I doubt that there were robot groups like this until the advent of the internet. Pre-1980s, I bet many robots never encountered another outcast in their entire lives. In real life, I have never encountered anyone like the people here, and the process of finding uncommon books that I wanted and authors who I could relate to would have been a struggle. We would've been almost totally isolated in the old days.

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>>3908
>better than listening to the constant noise of the satanic hellspawns around me.
I know what you mean. Everything is better than that endless nigbonics mumble rap and 'cuteboi' faggots howling about worshipping whores.
For me it's metal stuff, especially old school 90s death- and doom metal stuff. It makes me feel above the cattle obsessed with its own emotions. Recently I really got to understand this music. It feels like an utter disregard of everything around me. 
>scanlation teams never translate the shit i read
Must be pretty obscure stuff that you read then. I rarely have this issue, though I watch more anime than I read manga these days.
Weirdly my taste in film is quite the opposite of the escapism I'm looking for in music. It is mostly shoujo stuff, 'healing media', where nothing is really happening. I don't know what's so alluring about that to me. Maybe the stark contrast to the whorehell around me? I swear I don't want to be a little grill.
>Vidya
I have come to disregard good graphics and come to like the SNES era stuff mostly. It kinda takes me back to a time I suppose was much better, less complicated, despite the constant technological innovation which must have felt so novel back then. AND THERE WEREN'T NIGGERS EVERYWHERE IN MY COUNTRY
Yes, the 90s were right before EVERYTHING went to shit. Guess I'm just having an extreme case of retromania. I really can't look forward anymore.
But yeah. Haven't played recent videogames in a long time. My Ryzen 3600 rig that I spent around 500€ back in 2019 is catching dust at home. Kinda feels like a waste. Maybe I should use it to generate AI 'art' lol. I guess crypto mining isn't worth it anymore and the GPU is quite old anyways. 
>boardgames/wargaming
Like tabletop RPGs? Don't you need several persons for that? You go to tabletop meetings and stuff?
I never did much tabletop games as a child since obviously I never was a very social person and I guess I'm too old to get into that now, but it sure is interesting. 
I could also never get into strategy games. It always looked so complicated, so I didn't bother. But I suppose it can be a rewarding experience to really master such a game.

Also I think my countrys internet just went partially 404. At least I can't access most of the major sites including google. Oddly of all the websites I tested, besides YouTube, this is the only site working. Don't know what's happening. Maybe russia nuked some network line or smth.

>>3913
>I have come to disregard good graphics and come to like the SNES era stuff mostly. It kinda takes me back to a time I suppose was much better, less complicated
I'm not doing things for enjoyment anymore, just for the aesthetic. 
I litter my room with ancient E-Waste that I find at the local dumpster and play those outdated games for the LARP of living in the 1993.

>>3912
To me it seems many here have a problem with modern society and seem to think they could fit into traditional societies?

I've had a stronger craving for alcohol lately. I don't want to become an alcoholic, but it's the only way I can feel anything these days.

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I feel like the pre (high speed) internet world was a completely different reality that we can't even imagine anymore at this point. Especially with the widespread use of smartphones it all went downhill so quickly.
Everyone I've been talking to in real life seems so desillusioned with everything. Propably since all are subjected to the same constant stream of mkultra tier neuron over stimulation with irrelevant data garbage. 
I too feel a strong sense of this desillusion. Though I used to be interested in different ways of living in other countries, I've come to realize that there's nothing left of that which makes those countries or cultures or anything unique, at least since 10$ chinkphone with access to high speed internet connections have become available in the most remote shitholes. Now with the introduction of satellite internet, there will be no place unsullied from this desease.
It seems to me the internet really managed in the span of ~20 years to dissolve any kind of fabric left in society and lead to the unhinged hedonistic hell we have today. Much more than all social changes and tech before. 

Just imagine around 2 decades ago the majority of men had to physically go walk into a video rental store or something to get their dose of eroticism. They couldn't take their smartphone out of their pockets at all times and look up the most degenerate nieche fetish porn imaginable and live in those fantasies.
Or think about how it has turned relationships into a commodity - back then there was no platform for whores to scroll through hundreds of different guys to fuck in a matter of minutes and to have a personal army of thirsty shells of men worshipping her and sending her money for her whoring. https://youtu.be/RjNx7J3UN5E
Then of course there is the fact that critical thinking is non existent anymore. You can't even tell what's relevant anymore, cause there is no line between novelty entertainment and learning. Just reading 'amusing ourselves to death' recently made me realize the severity of the situation. It is that but 1000 times over.
Is this even possible to revert? Could someone ban all mobile devices and limit the public internet bandwithd to modem levels? Except best korea I can't think of any country that has implemented something like this. 
It is ironic that nieche internet communities like this are the only places for me to see interesting people who don't seem like empty husks. 
Are you as outcasts even concerned with anything concerning wider 'normalnigger society'?
Anyways I should read a fukn book instead of bogging everyone with senseless ramblings about self evident things.

>>3915
I don't think that fitting completely into society is possible. However, I think that we are already past the sweet spot where things would have been easier.
I have always felt conflicted about this topic. I think that going too far back is definitely worse, but the future doesn't look too bright either.
>>3916
Everything goes to shit when you stop caring.

Finally got a job after just under half a decade of NEETdom and about a year of trying really hard to get a job. It is way less satisfying than I thought it would be to finally have an income, but at least now I can afford things.
Also, aside from a few bouts when I feel completely miserable for a week here and there, I "cured" my depression by lifting while listening to tough-guy hardcore (Hatebreed and Terror mostly). 
Feels good to finally be semi-functional and physically fit for the first time since I was 14, even the brain fog I had gotten used to in the past few years and became a reason to justify passively rotting away, as even my brain seemed to be in decay, is gone.

>>3919
I felt the same way after getting my job. The money doesn't seem to mean anything for me right now, and I realized that it would be insanely easy to blow it all, despite saving almost every cent I earn. However after powering through the initial misery and figuring things out a bit, I managed to turn it into a mostly tolerable situation where I don't have to work too much. And yes, it seems to restore/help maintain my mental acuity, probably since I'm forced to actually use my brain most days rather than being able to rot. That all being said, I would still like to go back to being a NEET soon. I burned out at this job a while ago and I'm really just trying to hold on for however much longer I can.

For a long time I've been sick and tired of fapping but kept on doing it. Feeling I might be done now. I'm extremely close to escaping the Internet.

I HATE fast imageboards

>>3924
I've been there.
Your brain is melted from excessive imageboard usage and entertainment. Get off the internet for a good while.
You seem seem pretty self absorbed. Stop that. It won't get you anywhere. Get away from yourself. In case you're a NEET, look into getting a routine first, maybe a crafts hobby and shieeeet, wash your penis yadayadayda. All that improvebruh shit you've propably been told dozens of times before. Write down what you do each day is the most important thing. Just a simple textfile with the dates and a checkbox of what you've accomplished.
Introperspection can only help if you've got the broader scope of things. Idk

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It's been weeks of barely being able to remember my dreams. 
I've been struggling to fall asleep every night, and just waking up more tired every day. I think I should do one of those sleep study things.

I was going full NPC mode. I felt as if I wasn't thinking, de-realization, tunnelvision, no ideas, no creativity, no lucidity, unconscious, and the days went by so quick without being able to do anything.

Yesterday I stayed up for 22 hours, and then slept for 12 hours. I feel like I can remember maybe 3 or 4 hours of solid pretty good dreams where I felt great.

Now I feel lucid and awake again. I wish there was a way to stay like this.
I don't want to go back to NPC mode again.

I feel like I'm progressively drifting towards being an NPC as I'm getting older in general, and by that I don't mean I believe in the mainstream pozz ideology, but just not thinking or having ideas anymore like I used to.

Can any of you relate to this? Is there a solution, besides drugs?

Getting together with family for the holidays for the first time in years is like a video game filled with buggy, badly scripted events. No greetings or hugs. No Grace. Everyone goes to open presents before I finish dessert. Everyone leaves while I'm in the bathroom.

You are idealizing isolation and NEETdom and yet you seem lonely and miserable

Call me a normalnigger all you want. I'm just trying to generate traffic since this place is so dead

i am plagued with brain fog and tiredness which produce the same outcome you listed.

i wish i could get out of this state.

>>3929
I don't get lonely but I am miserable. I'm pretty incompetent. 
>>3931
Take some magnesium glycinate.

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>>3929
I think robots want an escape precisely because they're miserable, and that NEETdom and the like is idealized because it offers that escape from the condition that they're miserable within. Is it that different from a sin riddled man who seeks comfort in church and God, who despite continuing to do evil in a way that he hates still wishes to strive to be like what his ideals commands of him? Or any other form of temperance that could be mentioned, eg lifting, dieting, NoFap, abstinence, etc, where the perceived ends or motives requires one to suffer through the same desire he wants to rid himself of? Although in this case of NEETdom it might be closer to a slave no longer wanting to suffer from a whip rather than a desire for some higher ideal. 
Working or wanting to be in a state where these sorts of undesirable things no longer affect you is to be expected.

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I was fucking around playing solitaire card games, holy shit what a fucking excersise in futility, most of the games are literally unwinnable and/or rely mostly on luck, why anybody regards them as "relaxing" is beyond me, then again we are talking about the same cuckolds that say shit like how evolution exists, race is not real, and communism works

>>3934
>holy shit what a fucking excersise in futility, most of the games are literally unwinnable and/or rely mostly on luck
Just like real life! Getting an unwinnable game is less frustrating than losing against others because of luck. Find something with better odds or make your own.
>then again we are talking about the same cuckolds that say shit like how evolution exists, race is not real, and communism works
In my experience Poker is the choice for the "I'm an adult now" costume personality most every faggot adopts in their twenties. All political monkies, doesn't matter, left, right, center, are too busy roleplaying as cool intellectuals on social media pwning each other. Maybe they will ironically play one game of Microsoft Solitaire to share a screenshot online showing how they're "quirky" "loners". You could do with less time online when your first thought about something as innocuous as solitaire card games is lashing out at your political opposite.

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>>3935
>make your own.
yeah that´s the plan, i just got a few decks of cards and wanted to check what they had to offer beyond divination, and fuck me this is just yet another dissapointment, its a fuckload of missed oportunity, cards have a 1-10 range with 2 wildcard jokers, 3 courts and 4 suits, there´s so much possibility in terms of odds chances and mechanics you can come up with, instead it is used to play some rigged-puzzle shit and rigged-odd games aganist eachother for money

but then again all this coupled with >>3885 means there´s a uncharted territory on the fringes of entertainment, something beyond rolling percentages that don´t even exist (probabilities rely on a infinite ammount of samples, when somebody says 75% it means that if you keep trying that thing infinitely it will work out 75%, you can still have a bad day and fail at that 4 times in a row and in fact, faill all those attempts in a single day because those 4 were all the attempts you took that day, chances literally do not exist and most games rely on a feat of schizophrenia of making you believe that dice are somehow "realistic" because "fog of war" even though the things we call "random" aren´t so, when someone trips on a puddle in the ice, the puddle was already there and he failed to see it, tripping on it, he didn´t trip on it because 75% he will trip on it and he failed his trip check), beyond the tryhard circlejerk grind of competitivity, grindfests, making skewered rules so game companies can sell more overpriced miniatures, and rolling bucketloads of dice because of the dopamine hit

i already did some minor experimentation with diceless roleplaying, wich turned out to be quite succesful, now that i have a few decks of cards in my hands, im gonna see how to put them to use and experiment with both diceless and card-based gaming, i can´t possibly do worse than the already stablished gaslight games so there´s nothing to lose really

>You could do with less time online
out of the question, i need music 24/7, my environment is too loud, where else do i download songs and expand my song library?
i could give more details but im feeling lazy

My mind feels blank

>>3936
Just talk about that music or your data hoarding habits. There's nothing I could care less about than Solitaire or its userbase

>>3936
Cool. I got into cards during Scouts, but after too much bad luck I stopped playing. At least with solitaire card games no one is gaining from your loss, monetarily or mentally. An unwinnable game is truly a "nothing I could do" scenario so it's no big deal. I don't have the imagination for roleplay, but will try what you make. In the meantime I'll find my cards and explore the many different variants available.

>>3938
You may not, but I'm becoming more interested in distractions that don't rely on people or electronics. There's no goldilocks imageboard with just the right balance of activity and quality to keep me chained to a computer anymore.

Everytime I have to enter this godforsaken city I'm overflowing with disgust and hatred.
In the last few years, this country has been filled to the brim with disgusting shit skin niggers, hearing them defile my mother tongue like that fills me with pure disgust.
They are in every small town now. Using public transportation there is no way to avoid the sight of these things.
Then there's government campaigns to prevent the nigger cattle getting STDs from fucking around like savage animals. They are putting these posters on every subway stop with catchy lines like "blowing  instead of bubbles"some of these posters are straight up pornographic.
Learning just how far everything has decayed, how completely unhinged, shameless everything has become these past couple of years I had barely any real contact with the outside world, makes me more content not being a part of this degenerate niggercattle society

>>3939
>but I'm becoming more interested in distractions that don't rely on people or electronics. 
I think you have a point there. But perhaps it is not electronics perse but internet and modern computers that you want to rid yourself from. Perhaps old RPG games could give you a similar experience, relying more on your imagination and not on fancy graphics to craft those fantasy worlds to escape to.

Everyone I talk to irl seems utterly desillusioned with everything. They only exist in their online pozz reality and don't want anything else

have you guys ever listened to opera? I have never listened but recently I learned of nessun dorma. It made me cry and i feel embarrassed because it it. it wasn't a self pity cry like in the sad loser uni days, but one where i still felt conscious and rebuked myself for being a big baby. I couldn't stop until I turned away and listened to something else. 
this isn't normal right.

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Jewish religion: imposes degeneracy
wh*te religion: enables degeneracy
Muslim religion: Destroys degeneracy


I wish my ancestors, the romans, had genocided you snownigger mudhutters. 
Jews may have created  and financed all those leftists, but who  supported and enforced?
Who voted for leftist politics? Who wanted femboy hooters? who plays VR chant? who rapes dogs and makes movements to legalize it? It's always fucking whites.
Face it, you are like the norsca of this world. Whites are a vessel for the chaos gods - or just the jews, I guess.

Jews alone, even jews+niggers+chinks, would have never ruined this world so. I hate whites, I truly do. An Evil Overlord is nothing without his minions, jews are nothing without whitoid subhamsn - the orcs of this planet.

pic related, it's me, seething

>>3946
You really think arabs are not degenerate? I'd concene some like the Taliban might not be, but I dont know them that well.  besides that, yes, jews are nothing without normalniggers simping for them

>>3945
>muh uni muh waaaaahhh
Shut the fuck up, normalfag retard.

>>3946
Arabs are child fuckers, just like every other semite.

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>>3938
>Data hoard
fuck around and find out
>>3939
>An unwinnable game is truly a "nothing I could do" scenario so it's no big deal.
no, that´s worse, that means i can´t stab anyone and externalize my anger and disgust other than maybe burning the cards themselves

>>3946
Stage 1:Religion
Jewish: kneel before a god, pray then drink infant blood for said god
Christianity: kneel before a god, then pray and follow a bunch of moral precepts declare holy war on shit untill you get cucked by humanism, then realize you were the humanism all along and commit sudoku
Muslim: same as above, minus the humanism and then plagiarize gnosticism with sufi stuff
>Pray
>Belive in god
>Pray
>Belive in the demiurg god
all religions are the same, the precepts change but it all comes down to the above, pick an external entity of superior power and call for its
attention by following certain arbitrary precepts
BONUS TRACK: SCIENCE!
>Science
>Make up a bunch of abstract theories that have no bearing in reality (IE:probability and statistics)
>Said abstract theories rely on the faith that somehow the initial assumptions upon wich the calculations that led to such theories are correct otherwise your entire worldview collapses
>Your worldview implodes anyways when math prooves that God exists and every major science-man was a metaphysician (Bohr, Newtown, Schrodinger, Tesla etc...)
>It implodes even harder when...
>Piltover man was a deliberate hoax of monkey-bones placed on an actual cadaver that was there before
>Nehanderthal is literally some corpse with arthritis that later some ((( A r c h e o l o g i s t  ))) re-dug and made his whole fantasy story about it
>There are findings of anatomically modern humans and better yet, tools that they used way before the pleistocene completely fucking evolution sideways
>Evolution is literally a eugenic psy-op
you get the idea by now, continuing...
Stage 2: muh ideology
>Man is biologically, spiritually and existentially unequal
>Be a Liberal
>Insist that this unequal man should somehow, be equal
>Not only that but you insist that this unequal man that must be equal must also live in love and fraternity
>Express this love and fraternity by beggining a chimpout that makes the worst fairy tales about the inquisition look like birthday parties
>Kill God
>Kill the King
>Kill the Nobility
>Kill the Church
>Kill other liberals because they are not as liberal as you are
>Change government more times in a single year than a man changes his shirt in a single fucking day
>Try to wear the decaying skin of the old nobility that you killed because even though you hated them you secretly envied them because they had the one thing you could never aspire to attain a Divine Link
>Sniff the copium hard,
>Materialize everything
>Cope with the Divine Link you don´t have via moralism
>Cope with the virility you never had via faux machismo (sports, "dueling", dressing fancy and being a gymbro in the XIXth century etc...)
>Landowners? fuck no, everything is currency
>Ironically having currency as the method of transaction means the peasantry and the lower classes have even less than ever, since, at the very least before capitalism the peasants still had small parcels of land that could work to sustain themselves in times of crises, now they have a bunch of bills on a bank that they can´t fucking eat
>pretend you are peaceloving and functional while at the same time plotting a world war because you are butthurt that despite your chimpout there are still 3 ghosts of the ancien regime (The Russian Tsar, the Japanese Emperor, and Germany/Austria-Hungary)
>Napoleon the III commits suicide by cuckoldry by selling his ass to frog liberals
>Crimean war psy op begins
>Tsar fucking dies, with the death of this character the thread of the prophecy is broken, restore a save game or continue onwards with the doomed Russia you have created
>forgottosave.png
1/?

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>>3951
>Tsar dies
>Russia is now condemned to be ruled by a weak-bitch Tsar and a cabal of masonic-jewish aligned officers (regardless of how anti-semitic they actually were, since they had no issue with aligning themselves with the frogs and the anglos)
>be so democratic that you start the Great War
>Prussian constitutionalism breaks, Bismark is BTFO just like every single monarch that tried to negotiate with the liberal-burgoise as the german socialists make Germany lose der Weltkrieg
>Should have listened to Metternicht, too late for that now
>Great War ends, backstab your "ally" showing your true colors (a masonic megastate with the intent of pushing forward Entelechy)
>Austria-Hungary implodes
>Kill Stolypin for a good measure in case the man completely fucks the soviet revolution sideways
>be Churchil/Roosevelt be an anti-communist but then proceed to sell half of the world to the comunist, first at the Great War, second at Yalta and post-WWII
>Be a Communist
>The aforementioned unequal man must also share his stuff
>Social darwinism, even though darwinism is a hoax by virtue of evolution being a hoax
>The ideology is a meme and we haven´t even begun
>Postulate a bunch of psychoanalitical complexes to demean reactionaries even though most left-leaning people are amongst the most unstable and neurotic
>Be an extension of tellurism, literally a re-skin of early Christianity
>Exalt the weak and destitute in the same way Christianity did back then, and use it to destroy the third state in the same way Christianity did it to the first state
>Maniquean justice manifests itself as christcucks are butchered left and right in every single commie uprising around the world
>don´tcallitagraveisthehellyouhavechosen.png
>socialize the means of production by taking the lands of the russian nobles and redistributing them... to yourself
>peasants get redpilled the hard way, too late...
>Maniquean justice manifests itself once more as many peasants die in commie purges and ultimately, the same russian people that commited regicide and betrayed their Tsar, suffer the consequences and live through decades of Soviet oppression, gulags, hunger etc... just like the frogs did before them
>Meanwhile...
>Fascist/NationalSocialist
>We are not communists, or democrats!
>Communist
>power for the proletariat (people)
>Democratic
>for the people by the people
>Nationalist
>power to the [insert nation´s name] people
>Literally the revolution of the 4th state but instead of some internationalist psyop, its a regionalist one
>Tfw niggers keep forgetting how early nationalists sided with liberals back in the XIXth century
>Adolph Hitler
>Hate the Hapsburg dinasty (Red flag counter:1)
>Benito Mussolini
>Be a socialist (Red flag counter:2)
>Hitler starts literally stealing all the german reactionary talking points, not even the idea of the Third Reich is his since that´s from Arthut Moller (Red flag counter:3)
>Create a cult of personality and a populist dictatorship akin to Mao´s china (Red flag counter:4)
>Bring every single higher principle to the masses
>Quantity above quality
>Family policies, race biologism, burgoise morals (at this point Evola is much more articulate than i am, read picrelated)

so there´s that, all three major "Ideologies" are different heads of the same hydra, all aim at collectivism, at depersonalization
at the faustian infatuation with "Life" at the dull confines of materialistic infatuation

2/?

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>>3952
Stage 3:muh race
>Be a NationalSocialist/Fascist
>Talk about race, spend all day talking about race
>be retarded enough to say "white race" as if race was a matter of skin colour, refuse to use the term "Aryan" because muh optics
>be double retared and use "europeans" as a racial term even though "whites" have been in prettymuch every place in the world
>be triple retarded, assign to this "white race" purely materialistic and moral values, muh cathedrals, muh planes, muh rockets, even though many inventions were invented in china before "europeans" got hold of it
>be quadruple retarded, ignore spirituality, ignore the fact that every system of metaphysics was brought by Aryans, 
>Tao was taught to the chinese by Aryans, Hinuism was brought to the pahjeet by Aryans, and later reformed by Prince Siddharta, the first Buddha, who was also an aryan
>the Sun gods that the spics had, brought to them by Aryans
>Aryan literally means "Noble One"
>Zen buddhism, Aryan
>Plotinus, Greek, Aryan
>Gotama, Scytian, Aryan
>Neoplatonism, Early Hinduism, Early Buddhism, Gnosticism, OG Hellenism, the Vedas, Works and Days, the Odyssey, the Eddas,
>All Aryan
>Be quintuple fucking retarded, regard all of the above as superstition, also regard all the origin stories that place the Aryan race´s origin in the north pole as superstition too
>Base the entire concept of race as biology and evolutionary memes even though evolution is a complete lie
>At best you have new-age retards that think hyperborea is a literal place and that Hitler is still alive in a south-pole submarine base (looking at you Serrano you fucking mongrel)
>Race is biology, in essence, racial communism, the masses of "white" people must be saved, it doesn´t matter how retarded and lobotomized they are, we have to breed more "whites" to outnumber the niggers even though the blessed "whites" are just white skinned niggers
>We must save our blessed white race that betrayed Mussolini and lynched him like a fucking petty thief in a gas station
>We must save our blessed white race of faux burgoise conformists that betrayed Hitler and proceded to become some of biggest boomers in Europe (West Germany)
>b-b-b-but muh science!

what did Krishna say to Arjuna? let the bodies hit the floor
what did fucking De Maistre said when he was confronted with the frog chimps? let the bodies hit the floor
what did Evola say at the end of "Ride the Tiger"? Death has right over Life

"Life" is a prision built by a psychopathic god with a plan, Aryans are the race of beings that are trapped here, everyone else is the bodily amalgamation of smart animals that made use of the Aryans to build their faux "Civilizations"
All religions are the same lie reiterated
All ideologies are the same lie reiterated
they all affirm "Life" wether it is a life based on "charity" or a "Life" based on "struggle"

>>3946
you are a nigger, you are a black gorilla NIGGER, because you have fallen for a NIGGER PSYOP, and proceeded to worship a race of literal NIGGERS who worship a bigger NIGGER with a book and a problem with cannabis, wich in turn worshipped the PSYCHOPATH NIGGER GOD who built this entire NIGGER PSYOP

you are a NIGGER Because being in the threshold of truth, you haven´t elevated yourself beyond the psyop, but have now come under the spell of a bigger and dumber psyop, just like the failed experiment at /monster/ just like the LARPers at /Fascist/ just like everyone else, another battlefield loss in this eternal war of Divine psyops

psyop A vs psyop B, light vs dark, high vs low, its all nigger-bullshit
Metaphysics is the only truth Ontology is the only measure of Metaphysics, everyone is a nigger, everything is made by niggers, and as such, everything must die, people, animals, plants, atoms, fucking everything
now if youĺl excuse me i have shit to do, and anime girls to masturbate to
STAGE CLEAR!

I finished reading Considerations on France by Joseph de Maistre. Some of the chapters were excellent, whereas others were mundane. I have in mind On the Violent Destruction of the Human Species as the best chapter of his little book. It reads like something out of Might is Right but more intelligent and well-written. The book is quotable, too.
I'm not a stickler for the conventional reactionaries. I prefer people like Max Stirner who put their effort into negating baseless precepts rather than establishing any new ones. That being said, I think people like de Maistre have provided invaluable critiques of modernity.

>>3954
Too many philosophers put unneeded emphasis on personal experience or poorly conceived notions of an ontological reality holding precedence over reality as its conventionally perceived. Like trying to put science in front of tradition as if either by default deserve to be held with infinite respect, or personal feelings of what's moral and fair over what is conventionally thought of as so.

>>3946
>destroys degeneracy
Yes the imams and their noble followers are destroying degeneracy by making fat stacks of cash from their retarded gullible followers who buy their bullshit trinkets and heroin and help run human trafficking rings. Every Muslim is a bigger degenerate animal than any so-called Christian or pagan when exposed to western vices, they just avoid pork as a token. Go live in fucking Morocco or Sudan to be among practitioners you mouthbreathing shitskin wop.
>>3947
It doesn't have to do with Islam itself but more the people and culture it comes from. The Taliban (who are mostly Iranian speakers, not Arabs or Pakis) are marginally less shit than al-Qaeda and ((( ISIS ))) but still shitskin fundamentalists though they definitely rape and sexualize less kids, who are usually Aryan stock, than the American-backed government did and in fact used children as bait to kill police and military officers in the Afghan Army during the dash to Kabul because the ranks were that rife with pedos.

>>3953
>>Race is biology, in essence, racial communism, the masses of "white" people must be saved, it doesn´t matter how retarded and lobotomized they are, we have to breed more "whites" to outnumber the niggers even though the blessed "whites" are just white skinned niggers
>>We must save our blessed white race that betrayed Mussolini and lynched him like a fucking petty thief in a gas station
>>We must save our blessed white race of faux burgoise conformists that betrayed Hitler and proceded to become some of biggest boomers in Europe (West Germany)
It's a matter of yield, you are presumably white, were born from whites. Your parents like mine were probably horrible conformists but you came out different. You yourself note that spirituality comes from the Aryan and would agree that other races seem unable to birth the spiritual. That is why the white masses have value, they are the only way that anything higher can be born.

On a personal note, I just can't help myself from trying, to want to spite those who I find reprehensible for dictating that all who look like me are to be genocided.

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im having a panic attack, i am feeling extreme anxiety i don´t know what the fuck to do with my life right now, this in itself isn´t horrible, its the fact that i am alone, nobody is going to help me and nobody can help me

i want to cry but crying will not solve things, i am going to sleep now and try to calm myself down

>>3951
fuck. you're cool

autism is a mental illness. it's not even funny anymore i swear

I've been getting into novels and light novels on MyAnimeList recently. It's precious to see thoughtfulness in these works rather than mere action. A little action can carry a story, but too much diminishes its value.
When we watch a show, what we see is largely the "surface." Mainly in reading a novel does one find depth. This is the nature of these mediums. What I specifically mean, for example, is that in watching the Stand Alone Complex episodes, I would see continual action and characters talking, but in reading the first of its light novels, I noticed that the characters had thoughts and feelings that could not be expressed in a show without drastically increasing the length of each episode and rendering it monotonous.

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>tfw rapeman (faggot) bans & deletes the furry thread on /b/ to pretend to be an ebic oldfag
>tfw wasted my time making a furry gore tegaki reply for no raisin
DONE.

it's ded

>>3966
I'm still here as a matter of habit. I wonder where all the people who leave these places go to. I doubt that all or even most of them end up on places like Discord. Do they just quit online social interaction entirely, or do they pursue some alternative like IRC, deep web forums, or (god knows) CB radio? While we'll almost certainly never get this data, I would like to imagine a pie chart of the paths that users who leave places like this take.
Since I've seen how slow this place and others are that I used to cherish, I've switched to browsing anon.cafe/k/ more often. I'm a loner both online and in real life, though I like it. It's as if the world flies by me, and I am of a different world than the others of this world.

>>3967
I'd like it if this place or /hikki/ got more traffic but it's not dead like the latter, there're spikes of substantial activity.

>>3967
I got a life. So I suppose you could consider it "quit online social interaction entirely".

>>3967
I haven't posted in quite a while because I just didn't have anything to say. My life has been fairly boring these past few months. However, I think that there is something more than that. It's not just these place, I've been mostly absent from imageboards as a whole. Because after really analizing it, I came to the conclusion that most of the time I am in one I am either angry or sad. I don't feel like I'm learning or interacting with anyone in any meaningful way  like I did before.
Who knows? Maybe, it comes with age. After all, it's been quite a few years.
In any case, I don't think that rambling matters, I'll probably be here tomorrow just like I'm here today.

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I used to not dream a lot, but this past year I have dreams relatively frequently, and they're pretty much never positive. They tend to be scenarios that could happen in real life but they often have an element or two of surrealism. And for some reason I am never aware that it's a dream. It's been getting quite irritating.

>>3967
I honestly think it's probably just a lot of anons moving on with their lives. The (perhaps unfortunate) truth is that the hikki neet lifestyle just isn't that tenable long term for most people unless they're independently wealthy or entitled to some kind of government pension. What I believe happened is that most of the users just moved on with their lives. That's not to say that everyone here suddenly became turbo normalfags overnight, but I do think that their circumstances probably changed. 

I always got the impression that most people here and on similar boards were late bloomers aged somewhere between their late teens and early 30s. Despite how most people here might have complained about failed normalfags, cyborgs, etc. and how they'd never be a normalfag like them, I believe that most of the anons who left probably just moved on with their lives and pursued work and/or education. That's what happened to me. I was a hikki and a neet for much of my 20s until I stumbled into my first proper job that was basically just handed to me by a desperate family member. Ever since then I've been working and or studying which, naturally, leaves much less time for internet shitposting. Hell, some of the anons probably even made friends and or formed romantic relationships. Either way, they probably fill their time with other activities that have since become more important.

In essence, my theory is that most of the people here were spergy late-bloomers who essentially just grew up and left the nest.

>>3984
I'd been saying that for years. Them moving on isn't what bothers me either but the chance that they forget where they came from and how they were molded for better and worse, as if it meant nothing to them, and how much of their beliefs were held because they were reinforced by the community they once belonged to.

>>3984
Old /r9k/ had easy topics to post endlessly about. I think the early push to get robots to stop making their hatred of our surroundings their defining characteristic interrupted that natural flow of posts. Remove that and naturally other communities could easily fill in the void of what they'll be thinking about, there wouldn't be a need to post in this particular board.

>>3986
That's kind of what's happened to me. There were more things to talk about back in the day and I don't feel the need to vent or talk about feels as often as I once did. I only come here every so often because /r9k/ was my home board for so long and I don't want this place to die out.

>>3984
I take back the nonsense I've posted and the sentimental, naive view I've held before.
You highlighted the problem. I thought it mainly applied to incel sites and trash heaps like wizchan and 4chan. Now, I believe 8chan /r9k/ to be no exception, not even a partial one. 8/r9k/ was a normalnigger flock from the start, and most of the posters were donning masks.
What sickens me is not that people are forced to work and get by in their outer life but that the conformism colors their inner life; in fact, it was their true face all along. Getting a job does not make a person do a 180 unless they were a liar beforehand.
It would have been better had 8/r9k/ and magicchan never existed. They were founded on the basis of "too good to be true," and their lying by upholding the idea that they were a den of real outcasts rather than a nest of vipers makes them even more sinister than sites that lack this pretense.

>>3989
To add onto that, I've never been a NEET. Even in my senior year of high school, when I was taking five AP and four dual credit college classes, I browsed /r9k/ somewhat frequently (with whatever spare time I had). The real explanation I could see for someone not having enough time on their hands to browse this place is if most of them were straight-up liars, perhaps even fooling themselves, and in reality, being saddled with social obligations, online friends who they spent time with, etc.

Because I was born in a latin american shithole, I never had a chance at neetdom without it meaning eventually living among extremely violent nigger people.
This being said, being 30 since yesterday, I can still say that most normalniggers deserve to be genocided, every single politician should be showered with boiling oil and that 2D > 3DPD.

i feel you robot. i haven't posted in an imageboard for a while, i'm still a friendless virgin. 
that didn't change, but I got a job now to sustain my life. after all, i can't run on >tfw 

we are ageing, and we have voiced our frustration for quite an amount of years.
So naturally, we have come to a time where we want some peace.

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I'm so fucking bored.

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american wagefag here
so i'm thinking about biting the bullet and moving the fuck out of my parents house and getting an apartment for myself. I'm really gonna squeeze my budget, but I can do it if I just start working my balls off. I've started applying for jobs at local casinos but if those fall through, I'm gonna have to take extra hours, maybe an extra day. I think my boss likes me, so maybe if I just lay my dick on the table and explain that I'm consistently useful and that if he can't pay me better than local businesses, I'm just gonna get a new job more locally b/c the apartments I'm looking at are like 10-20 miles away from where I work (the bus will take me 2+ hours to get to work).
Anyway, maybe some anons have actual life experience not the clueless NEETs and can explain to me the process of getting an apartment. I heard I have to produce my paychecks to show I can pay rent--I'm just gonna staple my balls to the wall and start putting in the work now--but from your anons' experience what should I know when getting an apartment in the city and what questions do i need to ask the sales ladies? Like how do i avoid getting the roach-infested apartment?
(context: my budget for monthly rent is max $900±$9.99)

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>>4004
you have to factor in the furniture, electricity, internet & water bills.
Aside from that, you should schedule a visit to check the flat before renting it out. That's the only way you can check for yourself if it's roach infested or not.
If you are used to live in your parents house, you may be accustomated to relative quietness. This silence you may or may not find in a flat, depending on your neighbours (mine was playing the battery FROM 7PM to 2AMMMMMM).

Member to always be nice to your parents and not burn bridges, you never know when you have to abandon mission and fall back. 
Also try to look for one which gets some sun time, to avoid mold.

Whatever your decision, it's gonna be daijobu anon.

>>4003
Still bored?

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Where is everyone?

I hate having to rely on wizchan, but are there any alternatives with more activity?

Please stop killing yourselves...

>>4012
I've moved to the fediverse.

>>4007
Sort of.
>>4012
>>4013
How about telling /b/ and /v/ to visit the other boards on this site. Imageboard activity works of herd mentality exposition; if someone sees a board isn't popular everyone assumes to be such and it stays dead, or anons are too lazy to talk about anything or even venture outside of their comfort zone.

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>>4014
I am the latter. I've been too absorbed into this state of lethargy that I don't even know what to say anymore.  
Maybe I can talk about how I got caught stealing in the supermarket today cause I'm an autistic retard faggot.

and these niggers charged me 100 bugs

>>3982
It's weird. I can't remember the last time I had any sort of coherent dream. 
Recently I haven't even gotten one nights worth of proper sleep. 
I'm never at rest, but not awake either.

>>4015
>>4016
Go ahead, it's something, I don't think it's going to gain you derision either for telling.

>>4018
I had been stealing several times in that store before. Just penny items I'd be slipping into my pocket every once in a while. So I probably got a little ahead of myself and ignored pretty much every precaution there is to take when stealing, especially thinking that the cameras which cover pretty much every inch of that nigger store were just bait to scare thiefs away. Well, apparently it's not. They have some security personal watching over that and it's no wonder they noticed me, as bold as I was behaving. 
Granted, when I walked out of that store and saw that big secuirity security guy and that group of wageslaves waiting, I was scared to shit. 
They are propably used to getting some resistance from burglars, this being the most nigger infested, worse than chernobyl part of town. 
But I'm a walking corpse these days, I just went along, feeling like a dumb nigger, not because I was stealing, but because I was caught. 
The personal then escorted me into this storage room where they asked me to empty all my pockets, which I did, revealing a can of pepper spray which I had already forgotten about long ago. Indeed I was thankful having this much luck in such an unlucky situation, not having carried my spring knife that day, which I usually do, and which would surely have gotten me into legal trouble. At least pepper spray is not illegal carrying as of yet. 
I was then presented with the option of getting reported to the police or paying 100 shekels right away,  which I did, being the little faggot pussy that I am, never having been in a situation like this one before.
I still regret that. The worth of those items stolen was around 5€ which would hardly have resulted in any serious consequences. But maybe it's also good never to have any such record. I'll take it as lesson money.
It surely won't stop me from stealing again, I'll do it again, be it just for the thrill. 
Really, I don't even need these things, living in total abundance. I just want to do some damage to rainbow faggot flag flying globohomo corporate chains and I'm bored, so I like to take some risk which is missing in my mundane, lethargic life.
I'll just have to moderate the risk a little bit. Going for a chain which doesn't have as much surveillance, opting for more expensive items like alcohol or coffe, which I may resell afterwards.
https://youtu.be/NnHAc-BqrxE

>>4026
I mean, I can only recommend every loser neet to try doing something like that once in a while. Be it just slipping a fucking chocolate bar into your pocket. It's better than doing nothing.

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>>4013
Where? How? It feels like sitting at a school cafeteria table of a friend group you don't belong to and leaning into their conversation.

>>4026
>>4027
The most expensive items I've stolen were capsules and medicine from drug chains which is valid because they can be as much as $40. I'm pretty paranoid about cameras and I be sure to pocket what I'm taking out of their angles and eyes of employees. One time I thought I got caught taking something because the door was a pull and not a push, and I freaked out and went into the back to return the item I took in case cops were already called but they weren't so I just took it again and left.

>>4038
>valid
Wrong word, it was expensive so it made sense to steal it but I always be sure to steal little items from time to time.

>>4037
That's a good description. That's all I'll say.

I'll be a wizard in a year if I get to live this far. I've begun to come in peace with it, the hatred brought by 
>tfw no gf
has been steadily dampening. I think I can come in terms with the fact that i'll likely remain a friendless virgin.
I wish this feeling of inner peace would remain.

>>4012
I don't like browsing wizchan, too much hatred in their (just like in the incels forum) and it's mentally exhausting as I am nearing the 30 yo mark.
Nowadays, I lurk in tohno-chan. Quite a chill place.

I'm always exhausted. I feel like watching myself in the 3rd person.

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Are we basically reaching the final conclusions of "tikkun olam" (what we might call the growth of a kike control grid)? Considering how anything that contributes to the destruction of Amalek (us) is "good," while anything standing in the way of this is "evil," when institutions are fully subverted they will turn their attention more towards bodies and minds (transhumanism). While the gayop of 'viruses to necessitate bioweapon vaccines' is obvious (as well as literally poisoning our food, water and air), I'm convinced what we're experiencing is a split of a hyperreality from reality; the normalcattle whose brainwaves are lined up with what's expected of them continuously shift into this hyperreality, while we're the odd ones out clinging to natural reality. Total control down to the thoughts in people's heads is the desired outcome, so any brainwaves that conflict with this are "evil," and all the retarded golem will lose their shit if they encounter anyone exhibiting them. Because the hyperreality/reality split is an insurmountable gulf, we are outcast from soyciety and there is no social or political solution (within 'normal' discourse) drastic enough to counter-effect what has been done. But since all this shit is an inversion of natural order it's inherently unstable, so it's just a matter of waiting until it collapses? That's pretty much my only reason to keep living here.

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>>4078
>so it's just a matter of waiting until it collapses?
short answer yes
long answer, it goes like this...

1. its not the first time it happens
it develops in cycles that contain cycles that make other cycles, the 4th state of today, is a Degradation of the 3rd state of yesterday, wich in turn is a subversion of the 2nd State etc...
one might think that ancient states like Rome or Greece are "ancient" but in reality the true ancient states are to be found all the way back in the Pleistocene and beyond, these primordial states in of themselves are restorations that have taken place before even more primordial versions of the 4th state collapsed

2. all of the events take place way after they have been planned
the Great War was planned by (from that point onward) subverted Freemasons at least 20 years before it happened, modern EU has its origins on Kalergi, that´s at least 50 years before it even happened, i see a lot of faggots getting redpilled with corona-chan thinking they´re hot shit and talking about muh chemtrails, when in fact, Geoengineering has been a thing since before World War 2, vaccines have been a hoax since their inception, mass nigger migration has been happening since the 60´s (at least in France), the complete failure and breakdown of modern "welfare states" was proven and done in the 80´s and 90´s with Sweden wayyy before the "sweden yes" memes

These 2 keys, among many others, are the secrets of the Capo, while the rest pray to different totemic entities in exchange of power, peace of mind, and the fleeting sense of "being in control", these totemic entities in exchange ask for the contemplation of strict rules and the defence of their dialectics

there are more things to being a Capo of course, but these will come at other times,that being said part of being a Capo is being experimental

>>4079
I know I'm beating a dead horse, but point 2 is why boomers are even more faggoty than they normally get credit for: they lived pseudo-hedonistic lives as everything was accelerating to shit around them, and now that their own offspring are dealing with the consequences, they can just sit back and virtue signal as if you're nuts for seeing things without their rose-tinted glasses. Even pre-internet you could figure out polio was from DDT, or we're flooded with orcs because ((( Celler ))) changed immigration laws in '65 (in the US), but they still lived on the remnants of a functional society decade after decade and did nothing... The kikes are just doing what parasites naturally do to host nations, its White submission that deserves the most shame for allowing things to get so bad and allowing us to suffer through such a perverse situation. And in a sense, the kikes inadvertently created a class of bad goyim for whom death is an improvement over their current existence, and know that argumentation is not the proper response to parasitism.

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>>4078
>it's just a matter of waiting until it collapses? That's pretty much my only reason to keep living here.
So if you've come to this conclusion that the system is doomed for collapse and you still have a desire to live, what justification do you have for not taking the initiative to get in shape for the worst? 
The wizard lifestyle is not sustainable in the long run, that should be obvious at this point. As much as we are egocentric introverts, sooner or later we will have to put our isolation to rest and face the reality that we truly live in a society.
Really, getting physical exercise has done a lot for my mental clarity that I did not think myself possible. It's not just some improvebruh trope. 
interacting with fellow countrymen who have similar political views as I do also reduced my anxiety greatly. You won't have to physically interact with anybody, but you will have to leave the realm of anonymity. Surely, there are "fringe" internet communities like that in every western country. Just knowing there are other (hopefully real) people who care is enough for now.  
Maybe I've fallen for a massive gayop. But the other alternative would be to do nothing. 
At least get /fit. That's all I'm saying

get them to use matrix

>>2928 
Just found this post scrolling through the old breads.
I like the analogy. I think it's beatifully written. Just wanted to let you know that, if that Anon is still lurking here.

>>4082
>taking the initiative to get in shape for the worst? 
I've been doing that for years already. You are correct, with the exception of saying get "/fit." What will be useful for the scenario we're talking about has little relation to anything those twink animals are interested in.

>>4079
>i see a lot of faggots getting redpilled with corona-chan
It's a repeat of 2000s conspiracy theory culture with the same amount of intelligence except instead of it being uninitiated kids, pre-teens, and adults with already developed suspicion it's consumed by milquetoast teenagers and grown adults who should've known for years and are entrenched in their own biases; the same faggots who use schizo as an internet buzzword like autist. It feels silly but they're gentrifying the years we spent accumulating the knowledge and enlightenment we gained into a single inaccurate word like it's a subculture. Now anyone who has theories prefaces themselves as sounding schizo and people will tell them to take meds and or think you're just saying all of this to be an epic schizo yourself. Not that much fundamentally different from being called a racist or crazy but it's done with humor entrenched in a single word which is more effective to shame people.
>mass nigger migration has been happening since the 60´s (at least in France)
Same goes for Turks in Germany and for whatever reason Sweden did by importing Punjabis and Arabs.
>the complete failure and breakdown of modern "welfare states" was proven and done in the 80´s and 90´s with Sweden wayyy before the "sweden yes" memes
Could you mind telling me about this, I heard it about it briefly a decade ago but assumed it passed.

>>4086
>grown adults who should've known for years and are entrenched in their own biases
You know these boomniggers are hopeless when the exact social ills enabled by unleashing the kikes is blamed on Nazism. Literal jew communists will be called Nazis and fascists. This is why I consider boomers to be spiritual jews, while zoomers are spiritual niggers. And since having a discourse with either is like talking to a tick or a baboon, respectively, I find the window for community-building to be very narrow. (Not like anyone my age is much better, these are just the more well-defined themes.) 
>2000s conspiracy theory culture
What memories I have are engineering-oriented spergouts that just obscured everything, and it wasn't until the following decade that things like Mossad and destabilization of the ME for greater pissrael were more frequently discussed. The more recent iteration was 'lab-leak' spergouts with very few pointing out that viruses were fake, gay and talmudic from the start. And then zoomers will get pissed off if you tell them 5G radiation produces "flu"-like symptoms and was rolled out starting in 2019 in Wuhan, because you're personally threatening the download speed of their gay furry porn.

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I believe most sexual evil comes from the forceful suppression of desires. 
Look at the child fiddling catholic church, look at all those afghans sodomizing little boys. 
The goal should be to channel these passions to something productive, whatever that may be, but not to forcefully suppress them, or worse trying unsuccessfully to suppress them and beating yourself down if you can't do it.
Watching pornography should be seen as the ultimate evil, but "nofappers" through their constant denial of their own urges are turning this poison into a forbidden fruit. Counting every hours they haven't touched their dong, making batches on leddit, and at some point ending up worse than before.
Once you are in this state, you will see everything female in a sexual way but at the same time deny yourself that these urges exist. It's shizophrenic, mentally ill.
The only way to take control of your own lowly desires is literally to just stop caring(tm). Touch your dong whenever you feel like it.
Your own masturbatory sexuality will get boring soon enough and you won't participate in it more than once a week. Combine that with regular exercise (mental or physical) and you won't spend another moment shaming yourself for your lowly passions. I think this is how true, natural purity is attained.
JUST DON'T EVER WATCH ((( PORN )))
It's that easy. 
Once you realize there is nothing to suppress and nothing to lose in not participating in a poisonous, evil activity, you will be free from those shackles.

It's not always easy to visualize the degeneracy of our timeline, but for many normalniggers these days it's normal to be desensitized to the point that they can't even get a hard on fucking real roasties.
For them "nofap" just a way to "recover", so as to be able to participate in more degeneracy. 

Tl;dr Nofap is a meme. Don't fall for it.

Recently I've really lost my sense of time.

>>4088
I think you're pretty much right, but the main issue is that we're in such a goddamned unnatural situation to begin with. The best I can do is mentally simulate a decent relationship via a VN, then hope my mind can flesh something similar out in the dream state. I don't want my natural instincts to be dulled into non-existence, but there's a lot of truth in what you said.

>>4090
This "don't make a forbidden fruit out of a poison" is the central theme of the "Allen Carr method" and a very important idea I got from it.

Overall I can't recommend reading the book though, at least not the hackbook, adapted to pornography which I read.
The main reason being that it doesn't make a clear distinction between masturbation and pornography, it puts all into the single "PMO" category.
It is also important to note that sex is different to drug induced pleasure. The book is written with normalniggers in mind who have regular contact to women and the option to remove their excess mana by other ways than orgasm. 
This "new way of thinking" that it proposes is not enough for deeply repressed males.
You can't simply dispose of all sexual outlet. 

I think "simulating" these kinds of relationship is also not good. The best way is to visualize and sexualize your own idealized picture of a female and be as little influenced by visual media as possible.

>>4087
Exactly. This whole scamdemic thing has "converted" a lot of niggercattle to "the right side", but not really converted. It has only turned them against the current thing(tm) and as soon as they notice a little inconsistency in the reporting of their "alternative media" outlets, mainly jewtin cocksucking, they are as quick to switch back and to revoke ALL of their new "views" as they "converted" before, denying everything that should be self evident by just seeing what is in front of them.

Anyways, I think it a little shizophrenic that a lot of the wizard type imageboard dwellers here seem to be into polshit as well. I always saw this board more as a rejection of all life.

>>4087
How do you seperate the two?
The egoistic boomnigger who shamelessly embraces contemporary poz politics for momentary social gain and to not get into conflict with the system which has nurtered him and your parent on the other side?

Your waifu must never leave your head

>>4094
>I always saw this board more as a rejection of all life.
I simply wanted to know why everything was so wrong and retarded, and if in the course of years/decades that path steers you through such territory, so be it. Anyone who outright denies the kikes' corrosive influence this far into the game is a reality-denying traitor, but the kind of withdrawal you might see here is understandable. But anyways, what we're looking at here is basically just two sides of the same gay dialectic, yep. 

>>4095
If we had to be birthed into this place and those individuals involved behave like golem, you can try to be diplomatic but still accept things for what they are. Unfortunately my experience involved too much of me letting my guard down, and such people tend to use that as an opening to try and manipulate your life. I would be very surprised if any of you guys had a father who attempted to instill real survival skills in you for the sake of any sustained wellbeing. I can't imagine being so disconnected from reality that you think a young man will be taken care of if he just goes along with the flow of society, so I see it as borderline malicious and demonic, neglect at the least. All this treachery is so tiresome, but I'm glad you guys are still around.

>>4080
>>4098
I can't put too much blame on their upbringing in my childhood. My old man went camping quite a few times with me. Explored "lost places" together, did some handcrafting stuff. Things like that.
Just when reaching my teens that all came to an abrupt end and.
They started sending me to summer camps which I hated as much as anything. At this time my old man also started working in a city far away. Only saw him ever other weekend, so my relations gradually worsened. 
They just expect you to take everything as is.
I think these days its normal to just stop exercising any kind of influence as soon as your child reaches its teens. 
I'd like to think my story is not too much unlike others my age especially fellow anons on this board who are obviosly looking for an escape from this empty husk of a society.

>I can't imagine being so disconnected from reality that you think a young man will be taken care of if he just goes along with the flow of society
That's the ideals in upbringing the talmudic decade long indoctrination has instilled, to make pleasure driven, empty husks who are incapable of forming their own thoughts, or to make a stand for themselfes.
A weak excuse for not seeing what is in front of them, but they really have been brought up in such absolute believe in this system and that everything before it was literally hitler - "satan" himself - they can not possibly leave this line of thought. They are improsined in this judaic prison of lies and likewise have brought up their offspring that way.
>Unfortunately my experience involved too much of me letting my guard down, and such people tend to use that as an opening to try and manipulate your life. 
I can look past all that and have recently improved my relations with them anyways.
Take precautions, don't let your guard down then. Always remember they are living a seperate reality.
Still I noticed it is worth it giving it a try. They are still your parents. In academic, practical life matters that are beyond the current poz I think you can still benefit greatly. And by practicing general socilization you can attempt to safe other younger family members from the pain you had to endure. 
The sooner you take them out of this lie the better.

>>4100
sorry if any of this doesn't make any sense.
I dont even know what I was rambling on about. Doesn't make matters better that I typed this on my fucking phone.

They also had children from previous marriages before and were quite old when they got.me so I turned out a sperg. Another genetic, predetermined reason why I might have ended up here.

>>4100
>believe in this system and that everything before it was literally hitler - "satan" himself
It's a purely conditioned response you see again and again -- for example, any honest re-evaluation of gender dynamics would 'send us back to the 50s' when women were kept in chains and constantly hooked up to milking devices. Because they seek social validation over Truth, they're incapable of understanding ((( feminism ))) was literally women being weaponized against us, so that society is destabilized and marriage/birth rates of White goyim drop. It's just another way people's perceptions are fucked with, where female nature being kept in check so that families can actually function is 'repression,' while whoring themselves out and tearing down the pillars around them in their retardation is 'liberation.' 

Regarding "saving younger family members," if such people were actually in my vicinity and I were financially independent, I'd do my best to help them reach an Aryan ideal. This is partly why I'm so harsh in my categorization of other Whites, too many boomers and x-ers are totally fine with their daughters fucking niggers or whatever corruption it may be as long as their money and 'social standing' are untouched. I'm outcast from soyciety but my racial soul is intact, while they went along to get along and words can't describe how disappointed I am in all these motherfuckers.

>>4082
>physical exercise has done a lot for my mental clarity that I did not think myself possible. It's not just some improvebruh trope.
That was the selling point all of them were telling me at least the ones I was exposed to. Did you just think they were telling you to exercise as a timepasser and lose weight?
>>4094
>I always saw this board more as a rejection of all life.
If it were then what'd be the point of posting at all? What would you discuss or even rally around for why you were rejecting life and society, it feels like you'd have to restrict yourself as what you could talk about. All roads lead to Rome.
>>4100
I also can't entirely blame my parents. One example, my dad always did DIY projects and while I participated in them he never really taught me anything or do anything by myself nor did he make an effort to so there was no point of being involved but I could've exerted myself on my own behalf to collaborate on something and was smart enough to do so but I just expected them to cater to me, as they spoiled me and bragged about it to boot. And something in them snaps one day, and all that was intelligent or upstanding about them is cynically discarded and they become sloven and monotonous. It's not something immune to their generation either, it happened to each succeeding one at younger ages and I only have potshot answers as to why.

Lets say I'm a 10+ year neet who has been living off his mother since he dropped out of HS (no GED), and has now been blindsided by his mother suddenly entering end-of-life care. I have never had a job and have no clue what I need to do to survive after she passes on and is no longer able to take care of the 'adult' things. What exactly do I need to manage now? There's monthly bills like internet and electricity, and yearly bills like insurance and vehicle rego. What else? Her estate and everything already has my name on the registration, so there shouldn't be any way for me to lose that stuff so long as I pay the taxes, right? What's the actual process for having someone... Taken care of? After they pass away. 
And what sort of gibs could I possibly get on? I'm probably an undiagnosed aspie but not bad enough that I can't function on my own. 
I've crunched some numbers and think I can subsist at my current standard of living with around 16-20k a year.

I live in the US southeast, for reference. Anyone else go through something similar willing to give an anon some advice?

>>4110
>What's the actual process for having someone... Taken care of? After they pass away. 
I assume that is just explained to you when she dies either by the hospital or someone else involved. It's like not like they hand you a corpse and let you figure it out.
>And what sort of gibs could I possibly get on? I'm probably an undiagnosed aspie but not bad enough that I can't function on my own. 
Probably depends on the state. Just look up the various welfare systems for disability and see if mental disability applies. Then see a shrink and explain that you're probably autistic and haven't worked for your entire life and they'll probably sign off on you getting some sort of disability payments assuming your state has such a thing.

Otherwise typically you get welfare checks if you're under a certain annual earnings and prove that you are looking for work. If you want real work I doubt having a GED would make any difference.

>>4106
>If it were then what'd be the point of posting at all? What would you discuss or even rally around for why you were rejecting life and society, it feels like you'd have to restrict yourself as what you could talk about

I'm not him, and I may be wrong for all I know, but I'll lay out the case for it. Here are some reasons:
(1) There are quite a few people online who subscribe to the idea that humans are like a disease to the planet. Look at what anti-natalists and radical environmentalists think. Most of them would be unsuitable for taking their views to the extreme, but the fact that these opinions are publicly voiced by so many people means they have some traction. I doubt there were anywhere near as many people like this in the old days.
(2) A movement to end civilization or humanity could depict nature as a positive value or a lesser evil. If it did not concern itself with nature, its own religion/philosophy could be the positive value, as cults have done.
(3) There are many people who are disgusted or horrified by small massacres but treat the idea of humanity going extinct or getting wiped out more acceptingly. There was a quote on this from a prominent thinker that I forgot, but suffice it to say, there are quite a few people of this type as well.
(4) The deaths of 10, 30, or 100 people killed with direct means (like a gun or fire) are "concrete." Deaths on the scale of 100 million or 7 billion are "abstract," unlikely to be carried out on a face-to-face basis and potentially unfolding in a downright dull manner initially, such as someone spraying another person's face with a modified virus.
(5) There would be many people motivated to a "rejection of all (human) life" on the basis of personal reasons who might support a group or individual with those goals even if their reasonings were different.
(6) There are anarcho-primitivists and reactionary rightists. The most extreme ones may want to raze down civilization and be willing to take the most radical measures necessary to achieve it for their positive (i.e. non-nihilistic) ideals.
I think there would be nothing impossible about assembling a "dream team" of those who opposed civilization and even humanity as a whole. Aum Shinrikyo once did something like that, just that they lacked the IQ and the advanced biotechnology to pull it off. Maybe things will be different in the coming decades.
Still, it would be hard to find anyone willing to join who would be suitable material because ~99% of edgelords are not. Maybe 1 out of 10,000 or 100,000 people would be compatible, and among those, you would have to find people with the technical skills necessary to do genetic engineering.
I have my own concerns about it, namely that it would be an ambitious and time-taking pursuit, and even if it succeeded against all odds, the taste of victory would be short-lived. I have no intent of founding such a group, and I intend to live peacefully.
But there is little reason to think in the future that our global civilization will last forever and that there will not be any more designer/lab leak pandemics (on a far worse scale), as there already were in 1977[1] and 2020. Our civilization is complex and interconnected. It becomes more so over a long enough time scale as a trend. As a trend, more destructive technologies are created. Protective capabilities tend to arrive after the destructive ones, and they are not always effective. There is no realistic way for civilization to suppress all competitive processes that occur inside it even if it established a panopticon. Thus, I see the collapse of civilization over the next few hundred years as being close to 100%. However, it's debatable as to whether or not it will fall in this century.
I dislike the focus on climate change and AI by the media because it distracts from the more likely fundamental causes of our collapse if it were to happen this century.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1977_Russian_flu

>>4114
>I may be wrong for all I know
You're evidently a de-racinated midwit who believes in viruses, but at least you have self-awareness. Maybe start by asking who is most susceptible to the "human" extinction op, and who would benefit from them believing in it.

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>>4106
>why post
its a way of talking to myself, also when i get retarded replies or i get to see the threshold of retarded sophism  like people defending RNG in games and the like i am reminded of why i do the things that i do, its a daily reminder that i am in fact, not insane and niggers are gonna nig
>>4114
>1, 2, 3 ,4 and 5
those are usually bitchboys with an agenda, they don´t mean half of the things they say, they are in it for the feel good and to sync with the totemic entities of their choice, 
>6
aside from Varg Vikernes, Kazynsky and Myself, i have yet to see anyone actually totering this, most people are either a "In-System" ideologue following their favourite brand of materialistic plebeianism, or a "3rd Positionist" choosing their own brand of materialistic plebeianism with national jingoism and aesthetic atheism thrown into the mix
>I think there would be nothing impossible about assembling a "dream team"
that´s bitchblood stuff, i don´t want le epin brigade of yet another brand of "In-System" ideology, some off-brand pachamama shit, i want to personally tear apart the fabric of space and time with my own hands, and inflict unending pain upon others
>ambitious and time-taking pursuit
an impossible pursuit, you need the logistics of getting enough firepower or musclepower to level any and all opposition, plus the skills and the omnipotence to do it, because even if you do something akin to a schoolshooting, how do you manage to kill EVERYONE without a single person escaping through some backdoor or succefully hiding in a closet etc... 
>collapse of civilization
never gonna happen, history is a fabricated lie, all important events have been backed by one or multiple forces, the world wars were designed and executed by jews and freemasons, so did the French revolution and the American revolution, the fall of Rome, the rise of christianity... the jews and freemasons whom themselves are ordered by higher control groups and those control groups by totemic entities and are ultimated backed by a subvertive inertia where as certain entities like Gotama or Plotinus dissapear from the world, they are replaced by 3rd state faggots that thing they have everything figured out wihtout realizing that most if not all their doctrines are part of the subversion, and believe the highest level of civilization is a conformist mass of organized workers (Fascism)

its never gonna happen because collapses do not exist as "organic" events springing forth from the non-existant demons of social causes and economic causes, they are planned and executed, we are in the early stages of the endgame, THE Endgame, a Human Instrumentality Project-Tier Endgame, when this Endgame reaches terminal phase there will be a gap, and in that gap it will be seen if the 3rd State retards win, and restore themselves to an earlier stage of decay to re-begin the process of death and retardation, the Leviathan wins and everyone is merged into an amorphous blob of matter ruled by a Immortal Archon, or if i Win and will impose genocide upon existance itself

>>4116
and you are a faggot that thinks history has a meaning to itself, believes in "evolution", nukes existing, geoingineering being a hoax and the holocaust being the biggest and most important conspiracy when in reality the entirety of the XXth century with special emphasis on World War II has been a mass scale psyop

fuck off with your smug nigger antics, one of this days im going to metamorphose into a Baron of Hell from Doom and im going to start tearing niggers like you apart

ok

I am really feeling down lately, mainly because of daily ordinary life concerns that shouldn't impact my mentality as much but they still do. As a consequence I indulge in more and more escapism which only makes time fly and sucks me deeper into a spiral of despair.
I am not doing the things I enjoy anymore let alone things of value. I feel like I need to have a radical experience something akin to a nuke to break free from this.

>>4119
>faggot that thinks [things I never said anything about]
Look, I get you're mad about existence itself, but wasn't this realm hijacked long ago? Why does this have to be about existence in general when it's more like a shitty pocket of it?

>>4119
>if the 3rd State retards win, and restore themselves to an earlier stage of decay to re-begin the process of death and retardation
Also, I get what you mean, but I think better alternatives could be pursued once freed from parasitism, both temporal and whatever higher level it's occurring at.

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>>4122
>>4123
i could write a reply, then i´d be wasting time on opinions and get called a schizo for [insert ammount of times i´ve been called a schizo]
so i´ll just give the last few bits of discernable information and obfuscate as much as i can of my own life from this point on
point is, if you are gonna call somebody a faggot on the charges of knowing something then at least explain it, you don´t just mock someone for now knowing XYZ about viruses or viruses not being real then you explain why is that so, you don´t just smugly withdraw information like a bitch and talk down to others, its the same shit

"hehe he is a filthy pagan he doesn´t know his ancestors were cristians" he says while forgetting that christianity is a hebrew religion based on faith
"hehe he is a cristjew, he doesn´t know christainity is a jewish religion" he say while forgetting that christianity unfucked itself temporarily durign the cycles of the grail
"hehe he still thinks corona was real" he says while forgetting that he himself is unaware of other greater conspiracies
"hehe he is not part of X therefore he is Y and dumb"
the same tribalist nigger song and dance, just like the Tribal niggers of ancient africa, kneeling before symbols and sigils, reciting the gajimba prayers and dances, fearing spirits and worshipping nature in whatever form it comes
when Wisdom is absent, there Faith comes, this is the First Fall
when Faith is absent there comes Knowledge, this is the Second Fall
when Knowledge is absent, there comes Dogma, this is the Third Fall
the Last Fall, is Oblivion, where quantity comes into its own, when everything is reduced to a uniform mass of mediocrity and plasticity, wether this is the ultimate conformist ethnostate, a hellscape transracial distopia, or whatever your imagination wants to write
it wasn´t hijacked, it was designed like this, Horror without measure, Limitless Disease, Dhukka
high speed internet wasn´t a mistake, internet is a tool, a tool cannot do anything on its own, you ruined the internet
you ruined the world, you dug your grave, now eat shit, and Die, get lost in the cycles of guilt  and live in it for the years of years, the centuries of centuries, the millennia of millennia

>Ackshually, the correct term is CSEM (Child Sexual Exploitation Material)
The push for adopting this acronym was astroturfed by the ((( porn industry ))), right? The association of child abuse and porn in the public consciousness was a threat to its mainstream standing. Like all tranny lingo, it's intentionally designed to discourage discussion by using more words and exponentially more syllables to convey equal, if not less, information. Like all tranny lingo, speech police disrupt discussion, ignoring what has been said to critique the choice of words. Just a thought from observing mastur-de-bators and virtue fappers, who have done more harm to the toon porn scene than any "antis" could ever hope to accomplish.

>>4124
>then at least explain it
I talked about how viruses are fake, the 5G connection, and so on enough already in this thread, so any more and I become the "schizo." I've also kept my criticisms of people here very restrained.
>it wasn´t hijacked, it was designed like this
Even if that's the case, how is it the only realm of existence? Why do you want me stuck in a cycle, when you should know I'm also not someone who wants to be here the way a normalnigger does? Maybe you're not a spiritual relative, just a wayward demon.

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>>4126
>Even if that's the case, how is it the only realm of existence?
it is not, read Guenon for a reference, the "Origin Point" if there really is any origin, is Metaphysical Infinite, everything springs from there in layers, the exclusivist idea of only one plane of existance is unsustainable, it would be as if saying that, because a circle cannot be a triangle at the same time, there cannot be a circle and a triangle
>Why do you want me stuck in a cycle
i don´t even know what i want with myself, how could i want you to be anything at all
> I've also kept my criticisms of people here very restrained.
enough to call someone a nimwit

all the temples have closed their doors, either i have found them wanting, or they have cast me away, i need somewhere to develop and grow, a place to interact with the nakedness of existance itself, wherever i go, it is filled with psychopaths or lemmings, untill i find no such place, i will never begin to undo the Cycles of Guilt, a mercurial being has its eyes cast upon me, mania guides as much as it cleaves my sanity, i will never do poetry

I fucking despise my gluttony and sloth. I know that I must work to change it, and I try, but it feels like my willpower is just enough to attempt a change but never enough to be disciplined enough to go through with that change. At least the challenge will be worth it to give me the will to succeed.

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>>4130
You might like,
https://www.metal-archives.com/albums/Parasitic_Ejaculation/Isolation/645189
>nimwit
I literally used the term "midwit," which is hardly even an insult -- it's like saying "you're not dumb, just not smart enough to figure some things out by now." Or maybe they just happened to never run across certain information, I don't know.

Anyways, sorry I upset you.

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>>4150
nah, the thing about nu-metal and alternative rock is that it makes me feel both homicidal and suicidal at the same time, hardcore types of metal are cool for people who are into music, im not into music, im into feeling things and staying inside my inner monologue because im numb most of the time

that and postponing my writting projects because reasons

>>3887
ask janny to cycle it

>>3883 (OP) 
>FTDDTOT
what does it mean?

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>>4211
there are no janitors here, there´s only the BO, wich stands for "Board Owner"
>>4212
Feels That Don´t Deserve Their Own Thread
usually it would be "Questions" instead of "Feels" but because of the board culture (this being a board that consists mostly of outcasts, with the melancholy that comes with it) "Feels" is more adequate, at least that´s what i think, i don´t know who first used "Feels" instead of "Questions" so there´s that
like its name implies it is a thread made to contain mostly off-topic, or small subjects that do not warrant the relevance and/or interest to create an entire thread for it

>>4213
At this point I'm not sure if we still have a BO. However, it's not like I can complain. I haven't been posting much of anything in a long time. I have some moderately interesting stories to tell, but I don't know how the others might react.

What kind of post was that? I don't even know what I'm saying. I've forgotten how to make good posts. I need to get my shit together and write a real post.

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>>4214
I'm still around.

>>4214
>I have some moderately interesting stories to tell, but I don't know how the others might react
Shoot it out and let other people figure out their reactions for themselves. The only time when it's justified to feel this way is when you genuinely want to improve a part of whatever is being expressed.

i have become alcoholic
i can't function unless i have it in my veins. it's insane

>>4218
I know that feeling. It's really fucked. I used to be able to go a month clean, maybe go at it once or twice at the end and be satisfied. Now I need it almost everyday or so to keep going. I don't remember the last time when I was more than one month off that shit; it really breaks you down after a while.

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>>4220
ehhh, all things considered, I've been fighting it after I had a bit of a quarrel with an AI.
Turns out I figured out I indulged in alcohol as a coping mechanism for my solitude. It has been 4 to 5 days since I haven't taken a sip so I think I am making steady progress, but funnily enough I had a lot of annoyances lately that felt like tests to go back to the drink.
Needless to say, I grew more powerful because of this.

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>>4225
>a bit of a quarrel with an AI.

>doesn't want to do thing
>wants to train someone else how to do thing
>has zero patience and freaks out on person being trained
>does this to three separate people
<ugh everyone is so difficult except me
Fuck you, seriously.

>>4237
>doesn't want to do thing
>needs to train others to do thing so he has to do thing to show how it's done 
>irritability ensues 
He should kill everyone in the room, it's the only option he has left.

>>4238
You should be the one who has to deal with this tantrum-prone narcissist every day, miserable faggot.

My third post here today. It's been so long since the last time I came here.

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The world is a dark and confusing place, emphasis on confusing, i don´t know who to trust or what to believe, its been a underlying feeling for... i can´t really remember how long, but this psychosis is peaking as of the writting of this post

everyone seems to have an agenda, whenever i read something, or interact with someone, that person´s agenda is pushed onto me, everyone is either a heathen, or a faithful follower of the plethora of agendas and plans, almost as if a host of Spirits, Demons, Gods and such beings are fighting eachother for the scraps of whatever is left of "reality" and in their war, they appear to people in their dreams and make them follow xyz ideologies and agendas so that they may follow them and push them unto others making their power grow untill the final orgy of blood and death where only one may rule

this is the most lost im ever going to feel in my existance i think

>>4306
I know what you mean. When I feel like this, it's like my mind is glued into some gelly like object and I can't let go of it. Feelings of pressure, pain and insatisfaction dominate my experience. What really helps me during that time is walking back and forth (because sitting is really painful at that point) not clinging to any thought or feeling that presents itself. Ideas if left undisturbed will not develop. If I find myself thinking about something, I let go of it immediately. After a certain time, which can vary according to how deep you are in your thoughts, that feeling of pressure will subside and you will feel relieved. Not "happy" or blissful but it's like you were carrying a heavy load on your shoulders and it went away. While in that state I can read mangas or play video games and my experience is so vivid and impactful. For this to work, I must not entertain thoughts of pleasures of the senses and just do nothing while watching my mind. Because if I try to do it for doing this and that, it doesn't work. Then the hard stuff comes when you need to come back to social life and get your mind glued again into that mass of suffering, thus I have to unglue it again. That's why solitude is important. Each time I have to deal with people I get more and more depressed. All those views and agendas and opinions poison my mind. Throw everything away. Mind by itself is peaceful, not craving nor clinging for anything.

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Hey guys. It's been years since I last visited 8r9k or the subsequent bunkers. Last time was in 2021 I think. Infact that year something in me just broke and I stopped using imageboards that much. Also became a shutin neet and completely gave up on everything. I don't even remember much from the last months of that year. It's like my cognitive abilities sharply declined along with my mood dipping to lows I didn't think were possible. Also developed agoraphobia and couldn't leave my apartment without drinking a sizable amount of alcohol. I'm surprised I didn't off myself. I lived on the 10th floor back then so all it would have taken to be freed from the pain is jumping off my balcony. I mean falling from the 7th floor is supposed to be fatal in like 99.9 percent of cases. Maybe the fact that I could end it all in less than a minute whenever I wanted was the reason I managed to perservere.
Anyway I also ended up becoming a drug abusing degenerate. I get mine through mail. It's weird how easy it is to get them even for someone who doesn't go outside more than few times a month for groceries. Prevented me from getting physically addicted to alcohol so maybe it's better this way. Infact I'm high on opioids right now. Don't recommend going down this route. I barely have enough self control to not get physically addicted and the only reason I have money to buy them is because I was lucky enough to be born in a country where you get neetbux extremely easily.
Don't know if I'll post here again because nowadays I don't interact with people, not even through internet. I just read books, watch anime and documentaries and play vidya most of the time. I don't want to sound like those retarded self diagnosing attention seekers but I think I might genuinely have schizoid personality disorder. I don't really view it as a disorder though, it's just a label normalfags put on people who aren't like them. It's just who I am and I've come to accept it. Really it's a positive thing more than a negative one because I do not feel lonely. Infact I don't think I've ever felt that emotion but the way people describe it sounds horrible and I'm glad I do not feel it.
Lately I've been thinking about 8r9k a lot. It was my internet home. I miss it very much even considering that I don't know if I would frequent it if it was still around. Aside from the blogging I'm doing in this post I just wanted to thank you all for being there back then. It might sound retarded but to me you were my best friends. I hope good things come to all of you.
Goodbye.

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>>4314
God bless anon. Just when you think this board is dead after months of inactivity, suddenly a bunch of anons appear out of nowhere.
I've also gone down a pretty dark route the past couple of years, especially during the scamdemic when I thought I'd get thrown out of my parents house. 
I burned myself out with escapist media, excessive alcohol drinking, melodramatic self harming and more degenerate shit, some of which you can witness if you examine past threads on this board.  But I feel like I'm past that. I don't do anything excessive anymore, I just bear the dread.
Maybe something has died inside me, but that may not be all a bad thing.
>>4306
I get this condition often. It's an exreme form of oversocialization, stemming from excessive internet, especially imageboards usage and just the very nature of our modern world, where we don't get any kind of values infused during our upbringing except for being a good consumer slave.
Oftentimes I try to escape the unease by numbly browsing IBs, or watching random jewtube videos, but that only makes it worse. The other anon is right. Being with ones own thoughts is key. Literally touch grass. I really need to leave the cave that I call my "home" to rid myself of this brain overload. Go somewhere where there's no people.

>>4314
I also happen to have looked at Schizoid personality disorder recently. It seemed to contain quite a few robot like traits, but then I discovered "secret Schizoid" and other bullshit that derided any usefulness the diagnosis once had. Suddenly things like feelings of loneliness are common amongst Schizoids, and the disorder becomes vague as fuck. But that's what happens when everyone is allowed to identify as anything they want.

Has anyone heard normalniggers deny things like
The covid injection being mandatory OR workplaces asking for it no matter what?
Denying lockdowns were a thing?
I have heard these opinions quite a lot lately. Is the media trying to brainwash them into thinking that memevid never happened? It's surreal.

I've been feeling pretty down in the dumps recently. I'm a recovering NEET trying to become more independent. I had a shitty IT help desk job, which I quit a couple of months ago to focus on school. Now that this semester's almost done, I've been trying to find another job, but that's been hard. I'm going to keep going because it's a necessary sacrifice, but man is it a pain in the ass to unfuck yourself as a NEET in a shitty job market.

>>4318
I wouldn't be surprised if it were a vocal minority testing the waters, and in this case the waters are that of the Lethe.

>>4319
Working, in general, fucking sucks anon. I am a third world robot, so no gibs for me. So I have been working for years. I just wish I could be a NEET forever.

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>>4311
>>4316
>exreme form of oversocialization
its the gaslighting combined with the self-righteousness and a complete and relentless lack of self-awareness, there really is some multi-polar cognitive war going on, examples of this are what >>4318 says about fags denying things that happened less than 2 years ago, revisionism of subjects many events are either forgotten, or conveniently retold in specific ways to fit an agenda, personally i´ve noticed this a lot with videogames and roleplaying games with, again, retelling or reinterpreting certain past events, games, mechanics, etc... to fit their narrative, but this is only because i happen to be subjects i deal a lot with, im shure if i had any other hobby i would run on the same phenomena, only different narratives being pushed by different type of individuals

2+2=5, this will be affirmed as if it was the most natural thing in the world, they will be baffled if you even consider otherwise, and any records or memory of any time when 2+2 was not 5 will be expunged

>>4320
>Working, in general, fucking sucks anon.
I've been thinking about that. To me, work by itself doesn't suck. What sucks is the reason and circumstances behind working. Work sucks when you're working to help some retards with their computer issues, taking customer service calls, or when you're doing busywork. Work is fun when it's something like planting and tending a garden, building a shed, or helping my family with chores. 
The only explanation I have for this is that my mind just cannot comprehend or accept working for any reason other than working directly for my family or myself. In short, a subsistence farmer's mindset.

>>4322
I hate any kind of wagecucking. I would not call those things work, but rather those things as they are. They are projects you do for you and that is. It's the difference between coding some app you dont care about because you need the salary and making the game you have always dreamed of.

>>4318
people that injected their offspring with a not so safe and effective vaccine are probably tricked by their  own brain into not remembering. It's sad and dangerous, because those people have diverged.

>>4331
>tricked by their own brain into not remembering
No anon, they're actual retards incapable of long term planning. They're actual niggers, and should never be trusted.

>>4306
Yes most ppl have two plans of communication, the explicit and the implicit, plus the actual agenda which is often different from the declared. I have no problem decoding the implicit communication, but I despise it.

>also Matt 5,37

>>4333
trinitrips autochecked

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>>4334
This board is too slow to be proud of something like that. Unless it was really unexpected, I guess.

I feel like I am slowly dying at the bottom of a remote well and that I deserve to.

>>4337
Why do you think you deserve it?

>>4338
I am an asshole with behavioral problems and I have burned every bridge due to common spergouts.

Looking for a job as a techfag when you have limited work experience and a massive gap in your resume is hell. My poor life choices and my severe, profound metal retardation have come home to roost. Worst yet is that time and money are running out. Now more than ever, I understand why isekai stories are so popular. They're not very good, but man do I wish truck-kun paid me a visit and I had a second-chance at life, cheat-skill and all.

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They say that the good die young and those that yearn for death never get it. I'm not so religious even though I'd like to be, but I feel there is some purpose to just being here and making something of our own suffering and the suffering we are forced to witness. I think just letting the world know you exist so that someone else like you might not feel alone can be sufficient. Maybe we could do more if we could manage it. I know I certainly would like to do something more. But I know very well how hard sometimes it is just to exist on it's own. And that's ok.

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What I truly want is so unspecific and unrealistic, unachievable. Just a vague idea.
I have no drive or passion. 

I'm not sure why I'm miserable. It should be possible for me to be happy with the way things are.
I'm not where I should be, and I'm not doing what I should be doing. I think I strayed from the path I was supposed to take, and now I'm in bumfuck.

My mind keeps coming up with excuses for suicide. Just small ridiculous things to kill myself over, and I feel a sense of relief at the thought of doing it. 

I don't know why I'm miserable, and I'm not sure there's anything that realistically could make me happy.
I feel as if I have some kind of disgusting mind rot, and that I taint everything around me. 
Blind and deaf to beauty, the negative lens I see the world through makes it look so ugly.

It's hard to think clearly, my creativity is down the drain. I wonder if I'm trapped with some kind of brainfog. 
I don't feel fully lucid. I feel disconnected from my surroundings and my mind too. I'm in my bed, and suddenly I'm in my shower. Tunnelvision.

I want to remove my brain from my skull and give it a nice wash. Defragment it. 

Ok done whining liek a fag, it could be a lot worse.

>>4354
I like that sentiment.

How is everyone's Easter?

Like the stupid fucking retard I am I got trolled by some soyjak moron and now I'm furious at myself for falling for shit b8 and also want to murder the soyjaknigger.
I want to quit using the internet I get nothing but suffering and rage from it anymore and I don't know what to do to cut it out of my life because there are things I have to use it for.

One thing you must understand about people is that, while they say with their mouths that people matter and that empathy is important, that is not how they act. They see others as only means to ends or, more succinctly, as objects. That is to say, to the average person, others are not human beings with souls, with hopes, dreams and dignity, but as things: things to be used, to be possessed, and then eventually discarded for some other thing. If you don't have the appropriate tools to be used as a sex toy by the other, then you had better be a useful thing to the others. If you are deemed useless by the other, then you are a thing to be scorned and despised, to be mocked and laughed at in hushed whispers, and to be cast out from the group of things. All of human society operates on this principle, that your fellow man is not human but a thing. That is what makes being around others hell, that these "enlightened beings" do not even see you, or each other, as human. 
I'm honestly unsure what causes this phenomenon, however. The only thing I can think of is that people are inherently self-absorbed, self-centered bastards, who simply lack the functions necessary to understand others. Perhaps we know how others feel, but just don't give a damn because it's more convenient, simpler, and safer for our conscience to simply ignore the others' humanity in favor of getting what we want. Perhaps this is all the ramblings of a hypocritical socially retarded mental teenager who is finally comprehending something everyone else has already figured out long ago.
I don't comprehend why mankind would do this to itself, and a part of me hates man for this evil, but a still greater part wants to try and love man for who he is, because that would be the only way to defeat this worldview of man-as-thing.

Today has been a parade of misery.

>>4397
I know that feel. My misery and depression are so bad I'm seriously considering killing myself. I will never be happy, I will never make friends, I will never have that beautiful family I want. How could I? I'm just a shitty sperg who should have been stillborn. I will never be anything more than a mentally ill loser spending all of his time at work and on shitty dead imageboards. I hate and despise everyone and everything, especially myself. The only reasons I have to live at this point are "my family would be sad" and for spite.

>>4398
I wish someone could press a button to delete this useless reality.

>>4397
What happened?

>>4400
Quite a few very bad things happened yesterday, most of which I don't feel comfortable with sharing. Two things on the more mild side I will share are that I snagged a toenail on something and ripped it clean off, and I fried the mobo of my nice laptop by spilling water on it. I've gotten about an hour of sleep in the past two days even though I did almost nothing except lie down all day today. All the suicide fuel is keeping me wide awake.

>>4079
>the Great War was planned by subversive freemasons 20 years before it happened
pls show I want to believe

>geoengineering
In Britbongistan it rained every day of March and two-thirds into April. The news, normally keen to declare the world is ending due to climate never named a storm or said much of anything about it.

And it has amongst other things, royally fucked domestic farmers who produce basic staples like grain and potato since anything they try simply rots in the ground. The cost of it all will be due next year *on top of* inflation. And we've no choice but to pay it. We might be Soviet-bloc levels of poor but we have enough to buy greedy foreign merchant produce and deprive the third world of the resource.

But I just can't get in on the idea that we were interfered with by somebody. The coast is a fearsome beast on our weather and we have it everywhere you look. So to say that these men who regard themselves as Gods actually have the power to do that, is to afford them a competence and a hubris which they've done little to earn.

>>4088
But anon I want to feel loved and touching my pee pee provides that oxytocin for you. If I were so busy working out in the field I could barely notice or make the time but since I'm not I notice I'm lonely and I require it to knock the stress out sometimes just to be able to get to sleep.

>>4093
This doesn't work either since my idealization would occur over a childhood relationship I had and the crutch that it is still makes me unhappy or makes it unhealthy to think about.

>>4110
Get a job at a quiet convenience or basic indulgency store like a coffee shop. Responsibilities are low & therefore so is the pressure although the pay consists of "at least it's not nothing".

>>4306
Reminder to get onto you in post #2

>>4306
Alright anon. What I believe is a heretical form of Quakerism. There's no leadership. There's no church. There are no compulsions beyond the individual convictions of each man. I believe it because I followed the works of Swedenborg; that God and kindness found in the forth layer of the brain are synonyms for each other and that what (You) have is the spark of God in (You). That same constructive force is the same to have built upon this environment you're living in and the lights in your eyes, however corrupt they may have subsequently become.

It has a fair logical consistency so far, I hope. Quakers as a group have been co-opted and destroyed and scattered to the hills like diaspora, not just for having lost battles but for being defeated in an armageddon-tier war over consciousness. So I remain an island of one still retreating to safety and comfort while I lick my wounds, hoping to get good enough at preaching to warrant a return to proper conviction and faith in something, while resisting that co-option again. Although, I suspect it was never my calling in life.

You have to decide for yourself which thing to believe in anon - but you MUST believe in "something". The landscape that you're in resembles Universe 24 of the Rat Utopia experiment. The only way to not lose your mind in pursuit of hedonism like the "beautiful ones" is to share moral goals to aim for with the rest of the other rats. Without some shared purposeful aim, you will lack capacity and fail repeatedly. Pick Hinduism, pick Buddhism, so long as you have a goal and collaborated effort in pursuit of it at least you will still get the glory of man if not the saving of your soul. This is how the Japanese work. This is how all functioning societies necessarily work.

Lastly, I believe the forces against (You) hate all humanity but hate those of Anglo stock in particular; the reason I think they hate specifically is because the Anglos have a habit of doing things like freeing the slaves that is unique to them or which is inherently in their blood, and that the result is a eugenic experiment being performed on them using a simultaneous high-consumption, high-tax construction which over time encourages compounding health concerns to make them sickly, of ill-health and die prematurely or "before their time" the results of which you might experience in the mental health conditions witnessed ITT.

Sorry is that an essay or is it just four big paragraphs? Guess I'll find out when I post. But I just want you to know that I love (You) anon, not just out of obligation but from the gleaming of a bit of inherent humanity. And it's like gains in the gym - socialism can not rob that from you, unless you yourself are to stop and to put it down.

>>4311
I used to believe in "seclusion" because we've been forced together and compacted into cities in an involuntary way, and so it's only by seclusion that you can enjoy your calmness of thought. But since I've studied my holy orders I've been told not to hide in the trees or underground but be seen by others atop a hill. I still hide, because I'm a coward or because we've lost badly at a grand war but the natural state of man is only seclusion when something fundamentally has gone wrong.

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>follow the ships and scan them for 20+ minutes
>sometimes the arjuna spazzes out and they spot you beccause they get out of their flight patrol path
>time to redo 20 minutes
>when you scan them all lucifer sends kama after you and blasts you with missiles because your captured fighter is shit
>time to redo 20 minutes
>rinse and repeat

who thought this was a good idea?

>>4411
>holy orders
Are you a priest? That's interesting. If that is the case, share your experience about becoming one, how, why, etc. Would be very fun to read.

>>4411
>I've been told not to hide in the trees or underground but be seen by others atop a hill
I do not want to be "seen" by "others" because I want to dwell beyond the "me and others" plane of consciousness. I do not hide, I (kind of) live secluded because I want to contemplate the nature of the mind without external stimulations. I do not fight any war, I do not cling to anything but the unconditioned, that which is not determined by anything. Beings live and die, come and go, fair and ugly, superior and inferior, intelligent and dumb. I do not want to partake in this, my ambition is the destruction of being (bhava), to not be born ever again neither in heavenly nor infernal realms, not coming back to any world. That is the ultimate seclusion, not only in the physical sense, but the abandonment of all kind of existence.

fuck normalniggers

>>4418
We need TND (total normalnigger death)

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4x games are for niggers, or the mentally retarded, from MoO to Civ, they all come down to rush/expand and then spam doomstacks, or the equivalent to that game´s doomstack, they sell a false sense of "wowie a sandbox game!" but they all come down to do the meme rush military meta strategy, other victory conditions are there as part of the psyop or something, or maybe for MP´s where people will turbo-meta the game to win science victory or some shit

most strategy games aren´t even strategy, the only game that really fits that description is Combat Mission, maybe Panzer General (wich fucking sucks), just brrrrr do the meta strategy and wrangle your mouse hard boyo, skill is measured by APM in Starcraft, isn´t strategy about, i don´t know, planning and executing plans? as opposed to being fast?

>>4437
As much as i like 4x and RTS, this is very true, maybe in games like total war there is a bit of strategy, the games where you produce the units are always flawed, because there's always a way to exploit the production and have more numbers than the enemy and end up winning, in RTS the game is always the one who click faster win, and in games like hoi4 is the one who follows the meta the best. All the good games about strategy are heavily autistic board  wargames or games that looks like an excel program.

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>>4439
we were "raised by women" as a direct consequence of the weakness inherent in burgoise moralism and christianity´s failure to contain the forces it unleashed itself, never forget this, tis not gold all that glimmers, the more things change the more they stay the same

>>4440
>the games where you produce the units are always flawed
>there's always a way to exploit the production and have more numbers than the enemy and end up winning
it all comes down to this doesn´t it? as soon as you have some form of "macroeconomics" put into it you turn the game into a race where, if you do not keep up the oposition will nuke you no matter what, what does it matter if you reach Tier III for example, if you can´t keep up and eventually he ends up at Tier IV? most of these games fail to portray non-technological factors such as veterancy, willingness to fight etc...

something like WW1 where Germany lost the war despite having militarily archieved most of its objectives, or Afghanistan where a very determined but technically deficient (and CIA backed) goat fuckers defeated the industrially and technically superior Soviets is impossible to replicate in something like Civilization, or Endless Space, or what have you

i blame this on a lack of emergent approaches in terms of design, every game tries to fit a "factory" standard, nowadays more than ever since everything is political, the left-leaning jewish backed industry will just, not care about design in the first place and make some shallow titles whose only purpose is either A)Push ideology, B)Corporate Greed, the "dissidence" will make iterations of previous designs in a narrow-minded creatively bankrupt elitist approach as a result of siege mentaliy (every RTS must be a copy of Starcraft or Age of Empires, every 4x must be Civilization on Steroids or Heroes of Might and Magic, anyone who critizices these sacred cows is to be shot on sight)

something like Stronghold, Submarine Titans, or World in conflict will simply, never happen in the current era because of political/ontological reasons

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I feel so fucking pissed off right now. It's a deeply internalized rage. A mixture of contempt for this degenerate nigger society that always exmplifies itself to me by walks through the putrid streets of the multicultural shithole city I've been condemned to living in and a deep, constant, bottomless self loathing. 
I wish I could just be contend in my isolation but my regrets are keeping me from doing so. 
I was never able to navigate the vast array of hidden agendas that is modern society.
I still remember discovering 4cuck r9k back in middle school and slowly spiraling down a path of oversocialization and self estrangement. R9k deeply resonated in a way nothing before ever had. It voiced my unresolved discontend of being a weirdo and oitcast. The "you will be here forever" phrase was to hold true. I spiraled down further. The /pol tier socialization led me to cutting ties with internernet friends and video games I used to enjoy. I developed a deep alienation from everything around me. The next stage was total nihilism and degeneracy by my adoption of wizchan "ideology". I willingly destroyed every last tie that connected myself with the outside world. Years later I haven't been able to get any genuine feeling back. What is left is just this empty sense of rage and apathy towards "fellow" humans. I am a shell of my former self.
I sometimes wonder how I'd have turned out had I never come into contact with imageboards. Which agenda would I have fallen prey to? Maybe I'd have become a tranny. Cut off my dick. 
I don't view myself superior. If I hadn't been born a socially inept sperg maybe I would be one of the repulsive tiktok normalfaggots I observed with so much contempt today. So maybe this hatred is more in- than external. I hate my sensibility and that I ended up writing another gay rambling text wall on a forgotten imageboard.

>>4330
Thank you Anon. You just reminded me to watch Haibane Renmei again.

>>3883 (OP) 
>go to local bookstore
>see manga in the misc used section
>it's boylove stuff
Is this board a continuation of 8chan's /r9k/, /v9k/, or its own thing?

>>4447
My memory's bad. I think it went something like this.
8/r9k/ > cafe/r9k/ (dolphin was given BO and deleted it) > fat/r9k/ (site deplatformed, then returned, then taken offline to focus on coding) > some other bunker(s)(?) > zzz/r9k/
That's why it's very much dead. At this point it might as well be considered its own thing, if activity ever returns. I just post on /b/ sometimes now.

>>4448
Damn, that's a lot of steps I missed out on.
Ah well, 8chan was dying before it was unceremoniously killed anyway.
Thanks for the explanation.

>>4445
Doesn't matter if it's dead or not, what could matter more? What matter's less? The timid precautioning of how much of a fag you are for caring or being honest in contrary to cultural rules especially on a dead board is unnecessary.
>>4448
That's right and now Anon Cafe is gone. I think about where the anons and robots went when 8chan got nuked and how many were lost in the dissolution of the successive websites. A poster on /v/ two or three years said he was lost and roaming the internet in the aftermath of the nuke, finally glad to return. I wonder how many changed or killed themselves, feeling uncared for and disregarded, and the camaraderie that we had, already brittle, being revoked.

>>4450
>Doesn't matter if it's dead or not, what could matter more? What matter's less?
It matters to someone who wants to interact with like-minded individuals. It doesn't matter to someone who only wants to dump nonsense into the ether.
>The timid precautioning of how much of a fag you are for caring or being honest in contrary to cultural rules especially on a dead board is unnecessary.
wut

>>4451
I'm not saying post here like /b/ but there's nothing out of place with the rant and it is a stillwater that gets random spikes of energy, nothing was really going on for it to break a conversation. If you want to respect the integrity it has by not having it fill with posts that are subpar then that's fine too.
>wut
A lot of posts get punctuated with "sorry for the post" or "just ban me now I guess" for things that don't explicitly break rules or not necessarily warranted to say so; overt humbleness and polity. I used to do the same and felt I have been the first back on 8chan as I don't remember anyone else talking like that there. And it doesn't feel personal, like you're a guarded stranger, and therefore no faith or trust is put into "the community" so to say when you do that, it doesn't come off as committed. It's not an issue of contention to me and I don't intend to start an argument so maybe I should apologize for making this post then. It's just annoying to see in these cases.

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>>4448
things die first from within, when the King dies the Kingdom dies with him, despite what others may say, the lack of OC and a obsession with PPH and "getting new people" has consequences, mainly /v/ and /b/ next door, both being hangouts where young adults in their 20´s pretend to be oldfags from 2008´s 4cuck and label anything contrary to the stablished parasocial narrative as "Zoomer"

Today i was contemplating on the fact that Horror/Gore media in general is both a satanic, spite motivated ritual, and a C.I.A Psyop to induce nihilism, the ancient Greeks worshipped the Human form, they made sculptures of athletes, and wrote stories about Gods and Heroes with esoteric lore hidden within, Heracles killed his wife and children in a state of rapture, even the apparent "brutality" is dignified, even the hordes of Gog and Magog with their eternal envy are led by an intelligent design, a God that while Evil, has a design, an intelligence, a worldview

nowadays we have slashers, we have poor flimsy excuses to have a 2-3 hour slideshow of the human form being infested, destroyed, torn apart, guts, blood, screams, you name it, once you connect the dots with shit like collectivism, sjw´s the "i love science" crowd, it fits, its this infrahuman wave that hates any hierarchy, infantile, spiteful, that wants to live like animals, and dissolve in some pre-natal rapture, thus everything human must be abolished, and destroyed in the name of a fake nothingness, this much on the side of a C.I.A psyop

on the side of "Satanism" the Elites hate Man, or the Human form, in the way Greeks envisaged it, as it being the body of a Titan, with the Heart of a God, if Man represents the middlepoint between a higher form (lets call it "Ascending Light") and a lower form (lets call it "Descending Light"), then it is obvious that the elites, out of loyalty towards the Descending Light, must by all means destroy, psychologically, spiritually, ontologically, physically... the human form, in order so that the Ascending Light may be snuffed out

in essence, the Ascending Light trascends the man, it is the land of Heroes and Anti-heroes, of meaning, of overcoming, in here, even apparent brutality, has a flair to it, even Evil seems to be an unwilling instrument of some secret orchestration, the Descending light rejects Man not out of an overcoming, but out of failure and spite towards Man, nothing matters, you don´t matter, nobody matters, and thus everything is devoured and consumed in a display of Schadenfreude, ridicule, and defilement, it is the existential equivalent of drawing dicks on top of an "El Greco" painting, media produced, not out of a need to express something, to relay something, but to the contrary, to tear something down, a need that comes from one´s inadecuacy and vileness, concious or not

not entirely shure if i nailed it down correctly, but i´ll find the words eventually

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I think I might be gay, or at least really bisexual. I don't know, from a young age I was sort of fascinated with other guys and I didn't so much "grow out of it" as "learn to shut up about it". Literally, one of my first memories is being 2 years old and wanting to play with my friend's dick because he had a foreskin and I didn't. I was never molested unless the circumcision counts, I've just always been like this. I never thought of myself as being attracted to men, but I can't deny it's a bit true.

I do find women physically attractive but every experience I've ever had with them has been an exercise in emotional and mental suffering. I cannot even envision myself in a happy, or even neutral long-term relationship with a woman. I haven't felt attraction to a woman in real life in almost a decade because of this. Meanwhile, if it weren't for the fact that anal disgusts me just on principle, I'm sure I could find a guy I could get along with in that way, long-term.

I just don't know what to do. I'm in my early 30s and I'm a virgin due to the aforementioned dysfunction around women. I'm not some flaming fag, I'm just a regular semi shut-in with normal hobbies. The clock is ticking, I need to make a decision, but both of them are bad for different reasons: Women I can't stand, or men who are perverse in ways that I'm not. I want a close relationship based on trust and love, I don't care where it comes from, but there are so many strings attached.

I just fucking hate this. I wish I lived in a world where people didn't blow up relationships at the drop of a hat. I wish I had been raised better so that I didn't have trauma surrounding women. I wish my only sexual experiences weren't jerking off with friends at sleepovers. I wish I had been able to be honest with myself earlier so that I might have had a chance at some kind of love. I wish people weren't so disgusting about sex.

Why the fuck does reality always have to kick me in the balls like this? Fucking demiurge. Nobody will read this crap anyway.

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>>4454
you´re just not angry nor cynical enough, regardless, the gay can be cured by watching massive ammounts of anime girl porn and lobotomizing yourself into bleached-maledom-hucow-impregnation fetish, nofappers, christcucks and fascists don´t like this for the same reason they don´t like ritual magic, namely a massive skill issue

>>4454
You're not gay, you just have insecurities. Work out more, socialize more, become more confident in yourself. Put the whole women/sex/future ball-of-yarn out of your mind, focus on yourself and refining your identity.

>>4455
Not gonna say I can't fap to that, it's really just the 3D that's the issue here. In real life, in person, I haven't been attracted to a woman in over a decade (I was 17 last time). Meanwhile, I've had situations semi-recently where I've been so hard in the presence of only men that I had to leave because I couldn't think straight. It's really more than just what I put in the post, I think my awful childhood fucked me up pretty badly on this.
>>4456
Not be be an asshole but do you really think I haven't done that? Mentally castrating myself for the sake of financial success and "life goals" is how I got here to begin with, along with a healthy dose of terrible parenting and terrible treatment by female peers like everyone who ends up here. You cannot self-improve your way into a good partner, altering yourself cannot change other people.

I spent my 20s trying to be social and getting destroyed for it over and over again. A literal decade of trying to become normal. It didn't work. it didn't matter if I was buff, fat, or thin. it didn't matter if I had perfect skin and hair or looked like a bum. It didn't matter if I feigned extroversion or was shy. It didn't matter if I had a job or not, nor how I acted at that job. I tried every conceivable combination of all of these. Women always hated me, I couldn't bring myself to be attracted to them in real life, and I was never happy during any of it. It was pure pain. Being a shut-in has been a relief in comparison.

Meanwhile, the few gay men I knew were always nice to me, as the straight men tended to be, even when it was clear I wasn't interested. Was it fake? Maybe, but the women didn't even bother to pretend they viewed me as human. I'm sure that I could have had a date or two with the men if I had been open to it. I am so fucking sick of being alone, I've done it for my whole life and I'm tired of it. There are only so many conversations you can have with yourself.

I don't "need" a partner anymore because I've had to build a life devoid of one, but I desperately want one and it seems like not only has every woman I've ever met rejected the notion instantly, but my own body is doing the same. Shit man, even my own mother treated me like dogshit the instant my sister was born. I need someone else who I can trust and feel safe around, and I've never had that ever. The only people I can imagine in that position are men, that's why I think I'm either turning gay or I was gay from the start.

The worst part in all of this is that I don't even want to die like some people. I can't imagine killing myself after my closest friend did it years ago. I want to live and be happy, but I'm a human so I need other people to do it. Women refuse to allow it, and it seems I have the option of going with men. I don't know. That's why I said I hate it. I hate all of this so much.

>>4457
>You cannot self-improve your way into a good partner, altering yourself cannot change other people.
You're missing the point entirely. It's not to impress other people or make them like you, but to build yourself up. To be more capable, self-sufficient, and more confident in yourself. "Mental castration" makes it sound like you think you're losing something important, but you're not, it's mental baggage holding you down and tripping you up.
>a healthy dose of terrible parenting and terrible treatment by female peers
>I think my awful childhood fucked me up
>my own mother treated me like dogshit
This sounds like deep-seated trauma that you have yet to truly unravel and work through, and it's definitely messing with you, affecting your person as a whole. You can't just forget about it or ignore it. Solve the trauma and your perception of women will heal along with it.
>I am so fucking sick of being alone, I've done it for my whole life and I'm tired of it.
>I don't "need" a partner ... but I desperately want one
>I need someone else who I can trust and feel safe around, and I've never had that ever.
>I want to live and be happy, but I'm a human so I need other people to do it
You're looking for validation and affirmation from other people as a replacement for your own strength of character. You feel you lack something and try to fill that void with other people's opinions of you. Part of that could be rooted in your childhood trauma, or it could be something else, but you're ultimately putting a lot of stock in "someone else" and not yourself. It's not wrong to want a partner, but this sounds like you want someone to be there to soothe your past wounds, to make up for the person your mother wasn't, and that ends up making you very needy.
Have you read any books on the subject of interacting with women?

>>4458
>you're ultimately putting a lot of stock in "someone else" and not yourself
Because I've had myself for my whole life and I've reached the limit of it. I'm in pain every day, mentally. I can ignore it, but it's only getting worse. I need a close connection or I'm going to just keep being like this. I cannot fix it with force of will because it would require being something other than human which isn't yet possible. I could probably drug myself into a stupor but that really seems like a poor option.

>It's not wrong to want a partner, but this sounds like you want someone to be there to soothe your past wounds
I want someone who I can live with and trust who can support me and who I can express love for. That second part is extremely important, I want to be able to show love for a person, probably even more than I want to receive it if I'm being honest. I want them to be receptive to my affection, not shove it away or be disgusted by it. I want to be able to make them happy because the only times I'm really happy are when I'm happy with other people. I like helping people, I like making people happy, it's just how I am.

I know that getting over that past shit isn't something that a person can "do" for me, but I also know that the only way to get over it is to actually move past it and I can't do that when I'm stuck completely alone every day, going nowhere, falling further away from everyone else. I've walked as far as I can on my own, the next step is to find someone to go with me, but it's been a decade and I haven't been able to do it. I don't "feel" what I'm supposed to in order to allow me to do it, and no woman I've ever met has given an inkling that they would accept it even if I did. Regular friendship can't satisfy this need, it requires more intimacy than that.

>Have you read any books on the subject of interacting with women?
If you mean various dating advice books and shit, yes. I've also done more reading on relationship psychology than I ever thought I would. None of it matters when I get stonewalled at step 1 every time. I'm not even ugly, maybe 4/10 on my worst day, they just always dislike me. I smile, they cringe. I talk to them, they act like they want to run. I look at them, they flinch. How can I feel attraction when they act like I'm a fucking skinwalker? I can't. Naked pictures of them can be arousing, sure, but that's not reality, and it does less and less for me with time. I'm not even sure I could perform sexually with a woman if I ever had the chance.

>>4459
>I'm in pain every day, mentally. I can ignore it, but it's only getting worse.
I get the feeling you are hyper-focused on this issue, and the dread is compounding a negative outlook on life and making you reluctant to try, or unable to see alternative solutions. I'm not telling you to "just feel better" but recognize that your negative state of mind isn't helping you, it's clouding your judgment and keeping you at the bottom of the bucket.
>Because I've had myself for my whole life and I've reached the limit of it
>I need a close connection or I'm going to just keep being like this.
That's still trying to use someone else as an escape from your problems and a substitute for the internal self-sufficiency you're lacking inside. Do you accept yourself? If not, how do you expect anyone else to do so?
>the only times I'm really happy are when I'm happy with other people. I like helping people, I like making people happy, it's just how I am.
It's fine to want to help people, but do you do it because you want to help, or because you want to get something from it? Would you feel less inclined to do the same thing if you didn't get your emotional recompense? I'm not putting you down for being charitable or for enjoying it, not in the least, but again it sounds like a substitute, like "I need this to feel alive."
>I know that getting over that past shit isn't something that a person can "do" for me, but I also know that the only way to get over it is to actually move past it and I can't do that when I'm stuck completely alone every day, 
Might you consider therapy? Not just any therapist either, but one who specializes in the areas you've been hurt. Someone you can speak to, one-on-one, without fear and without pressure to perform or impress. As you said, he won't fix all your problems for you, but perhaps provide the perspective and ask the questions you need to answer to heal. it will only be as effective as you're willing to engage in it. Failing that, you could try journaling and introspection. Write down your thought process and breakthroughs for you to consult later and maintain a healthy state of mind, or return to it if you start to fall into a negative one.
>they act like I'm a fucking skinwalker
It's appropriate that you phrase it this way, because while you can put up a veneer of stability and strength it's what's inside you that is expressed and resonates with other people in your interactions with them. You don't yet have a strong foundation inside, and that's what's being picked up on.
>If you mean various dating advice books and shit, yes. I've also done more reading on relationship psychology than I ever thought I would.
Have you read "Attracting Women Through Honesty" by Mark Manson? I thought it was a very interesting perspective written by someone who was in a similar situation to you, although it might be a hard read depending on one's mindset and outlook.
>Not gonna say I can't fap to that,
>Naked pictures of them can be arousing,
I take it you're a porn user, have you considered freeing yourself of that addiction?

>>4460
>Do you accept yourself? If not, how do you expect anyone else to do so?
I've "accepted myself" since my early 20's, the only exception being the fact that I'm at least a bit attracted to men. This is normalfag-tier advice. Humans cannot function in complete isolation, wanting a connection is not the same thing as trying to use someone as an escape. This is like telling a starving man "have you tried being satisfied with being hungry?" Yes, but I still need to eat. Have I tried being satisfied with being alone? Yes, it's why I haven't roped. I still need someone to share my life with.
>do you do it because you want to help, or because you want to get something from it? 
This genuinely sounds like the exact kind of man-hating feminist tier garbage that my mother used to shove down my throat. No, I am not doing it for a fucking reward. Feeling good about yourself is not a reward, it's the default state. Happiness is not a reward. I'm not trying to trick people into fucking me by being nice. Fuck you for even insinuating that shit. I'm not going to be made to feel guilty about wanting to be a good partner and be loved on a fucking imageboard.
>Might you consider therapy?
Did it in my late teens. Worthless. Would do it now, except I need money and literally 100% of therapists in my area are middle aged women specializing in comforting women. I need a male therapist, flat out, I do not trust that a woman would give me good advice because every woman hates me. Paying her to put up with me wouldn't override that.
>It's appropriate that you phrase it this way, because while you can put up a veneer of stability and strength it's what's inside you that is expressed and resonates with other people in your interactions with them
Ah yes, the psychic women can tell I've had a hard life but they can't tell when their boyfriend is going to beat the shit out of them or cheat on them. Truly this must be the issue. You know what? This is actually my last reply. You're retarded and you don't belong here.
>muh book
Yes I've read it and guess what? It doesn't work. I act honestly, I lie, I do nothing, same result: hatred and faggots like you blaming me for the actions of others. Yes that is rich coming from a guy who would suck a dick just to have someone close to him, I am fucking aware.
>I take it you're a porn user, have you considered freeing yourself of that addiction?
Are you a fucking ChatGPT instance? Fuck off retard.
Oh, and for the record, I did 2 years of nofap. It's bullshit, doesn't work.

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>>4454
I know exactly how you feel, Robot. I've been treated the exact same way by practically everyone except for my family. It's incredibly demoralizing and you quickly learn to despise other people because they have nothing but contempt for you. I still remember the times I tried to ask girls out, only to be rejected time and time again. I tried being the "nice guy", the "asshole", and the "clown". After college, I just quit because I understood I was unwanted no matter what strategy I tried. I became NEET and withered away because that solitude was still light years better than being an eternal outcast in society. Men like me are cannon fodder at best, miserable detritus working dead-end jobs at worst. 
There is no magical, miraculous salvation where you somehow find the right girl (or guy, in your case) and you live happily forever after. There's absolutely no hope for me to be some happily married family man. That's all I ever wanted, but that's not how it works. Once an outcast loser, always so. 
That's why I know that the only rational thing to do with my life is to terminate it, that in death I will no longer be a burden. I've got it planned out, and all I need to do is wait till fall for the weather to be nice and cold so I can die in the snow that I love so much. I don't want to hear the "don't do it" nonsense. You bastards don't care and never have, and you only say that shit out of moral obligation.

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>>4462
>>4464

it is impossible for me to get you a gf, i do not have any physical tie to you, nor a pipeline to buy you some bulgarian mail order wife, nor the skills to kidnap some whore and send her your way, or to give you advice on how to get one, i don´t have one (girlfriend) either unless anime girls count, nor am i interested into having one, unless agian, anime girls count

 but you should understand that the current climate is the result of the cultural zeitgeist, more than 3000 years of culture and counterculture, with a twin pull, on one hand the "left", jews, niggers, commies, who want to make an inverted (satanic) version of the world where the high is low, and the low is high, so that these disenfranchised ugly beings get to rule, Tower of babel style, the "right" are conformist puritain denizens, petit burgoise and proletarians that want to return to a earlier time in history where people went to church and the GDP was in positive numbers, sometimes they may get wacky and make memes with roman busts, or talk about "mother nature" as if it was some positive force despite parasitical wasps being a thing and other nature-made horrors beyond your comprehension

in the middle of it all you are caught in the crossfire, you´ve been living by someone else´s rules, the rules concocted by some grandiose megalomaniac wanting to appease some ancient hebrew god, or some disenfranchised faggot who told you to "just lift" because he thinks he´ll get his trad waifu when hitler returns from the dead

you are born, then thrown into kindergarten, then middleschool, then higschool, you are told the earth is round, there are three states of matter, the sun is a ball of helium light years away, you have never been asked to give your own opinion, or to form your own worldview, you have been given a choice amidst the many many shades of the colors blue, and red, sanitized, aseptic worldviews all seated in a materalistic cognition, the few times god appears he is some bearded man seated right at the corner of your view, some cosmic nanny

because of this you can feel "lonely" or a "failure" you are only so insomuch as you fail to move matter and chemicals in the manner that some would-be masters appointed you to do so, you have to take "life" if it even exist on your own terms, and recontextualize everything you have been and you will be, untill that happens you will keep setting yourself up to someone else´s standards, standards that were designed to turn you into a good, pliable, ideological soldier for some psycho-spiritual war that both sides lost when they decided to kill God and destroy Atlantis

if you are depressed and start lifting, you will be a depressed lifter, Substance over style, many confused people cling on to ideology to cope for their inadecuacies, look at how many "tradcaths" in their 20´s are there, hoping to get some trad waifu and "be a man", ready to join the ever saturated workforce, ready to pay some taxes and earn a bit less every day thanks to inflation and the nature of money, all of this just to feed some sense of normalcy

>Ah yes, the psychic women can tell I've had a hard life but they can't tell when their boyfriend is going to beat the shit out of them or cheat on them
that´s exactly how women operate, they are that stupid, every woman has a "slider" of sorts, they want a combination of safety and excitement, too safe, you´ll be a "nice guy" and too easy, if you are too much of a bad boy they´ll hang out with you untill you beat them, then they´ll leave you for some economically stable retard that doesn´t know better and will settle for some coal burning single mom hag in her 40´s
1/2

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>>4466
once upon a time people talked about other things, esotericism, waifus, some fag even did some gunpla, i think, i may have fever dreamt that part, some people got their jimmies rattled, made a bunch of rules, deleted posts and complained, those people went away and in the vacuum they did...

absolutely fuck all, now there´s a new generation of fags coming onto /r9k/ much like the very first generations, is >tfwnogf stuff, and "im depressed im gona off myself" this is nothing new, this has been the song and dance of r9k since 8chan days back when we had school shooter threads

if you didn´t want things to go full circle, maybe you should have taken advantage of the vacuum and created your own ideas, your own content, instead much like the many faggots that like to complain about videogames and gamergate and such things, you created nothing, you made nothing, you cling on to a burgoise siege mentality, clinging to external rules and appearances with zero substance, denounce and oppose but never create, don´t call it a grave, is the future you chose, complain to the BO if it is so agravating for you
2/2

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Freeing myself from the shackles of sexual slavery and ejaculation has been the best decision I have made so far.
The shame I derived from indulging in my corrupted base urges has always tormented me. I always felt weak and vulnerable.
I can't exactly pin down what inspired the change, but I suppose it is related to my recent acid experiences that confronted me with my contradictory desires of indoctrinated need for ejaculation and my longing for self control - about my feelings and body. 
I'm not freed of the vile (((  porn  ))) induced images that still reveal themselfes every now and then and I still come across lewd pictures on places such as these, but through meditation and self reflection I am able to transcend myself and am very satisfied with this change.
It is a crime how modern man is being kept in complete ignorance about the control of his base urges and once again I see christianity as being largely responsible for this. Due to the way it has turned the most basic instincts into a moral prejudice. As soon as the jewish fairy tales that justified these morals crumbled, all the rest of society went down the drain with it - the basic instinct to create healthy offspring has been completely perverted by those creatures.

tl;dr I feel better about myself for not touching my dick anymore

>>4466
Telling someone to kill himself is the worst advice you can give. They may be annoying whiny retards now, but it is a simple cope to make their hopeless mental state more bearable. Their stilI illusionary minds haven't adopted to our unnatural circumstances. I would bet you have been there too. Maybe you have come to those realizations at a much earlier age, but that doesn't mean that others who haven't areived there yet are worthless.
The only advice I can give to them is: wait. You can't pull yourself up your own bootstraps now, but with tine the swamp you're in right now will dry out and you will be able to move forward. You will become numb, maybe completely anhedonic, but you will be able to endure life for what it is and then you can leave your pathetic whiny faggot antics behind. Every now and then there will be glimmers of hope and that is what will keep you going.

>>4470
>>4471
>self pitying tirade about schizo headcanon strawman designed to shift blame away from himself, all just to say he was a porn addict and now he thinks he isn't
good on you but that's not normal thinking, you might be insane.

>>4474
>that's not normal thinking
What is normal thinking?

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>>4470
Sex isn´t a black and white thing, maybe no-fappers and christcucks will want you to believe that in the same way they want you to believe that christmass isn´t pagan and that the library of alexandria wasn´t burned by christians

looking at hot anime girls, using your imagination, creating your own scenarios, or just jerking off to a girl you know about is not the same as some factory-made industrial-grade porn or your average patreon-concocted twitter-aprooved deviant-art peerreviewed doujin, much like how processed food is shit compared to natural produce and whatnot, i do not see any no-eaters, there´s the keto crowd and such thing, that advocate for different diets, how queer that many many subjects get to be treated with nuance and understood, but when it comes to sex, it seems either you advocate for being a castrated puritain or a baby diaper perofphile furry, every art is accepted except the art of metaphyisics and the art of sex, how (not at all) curious, gee i wonder (i don´t because i already know) why this is such a case?

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>>4477
>Sex isn´t a black and white thing
I never said it was.  I never claimed I was a "puritan" and that every "impure" thought was evil. This is the abrahmic way of thinking that I actually criticised in my post. 
I can still engage in sexual fantasies without shooting my vital energy into the void and flushing it down the drain afterwards. 
You may not like it, but if you constantly give in to base urges you are essentially neutralized as a man. 
That is my experience. I made excuses that masturbating without porn wasn't harmful. Prior to the act I always felt a sense of warmth and excitement stronger than everything else in my life. Not knowing how to handle this sensation I indulged in the fantasy by ejaculation and everytime I felt a sense of regret. I have come to the conclusion that sexual energy in itself is not evil in itself, but regular ejaculation is. 
The taoist chinks knew about that 2000 years ago. That is the wisdom of the ancients.

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>>4466
The guy refutes MGTOW-tier self-help advice that's been repeated 1,000,000,000 times and you tell him to kill himself with some baby's first Nietzschean platitudes and importent ranting of your definition of a normalfag for articulating his frustrations with it and the internal conflict he has. It's no wonder with posts like this why 8chan was dying and this place along with the rest of the webring slowly bleeds users.

>>4482
Yes, subordination of the appetites is the goal, not annihilation of them.

>>4486
>>4487
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=awuvE0tyR-E

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I need to do great things in my life. I need to suffer. I watch all these animes with main characters doing monumental things in their lives, achieving great success, and suffering heavy failures, yet here I am, half-assing everything. I want to be like them; I want to suffer like them. I want to get my dick wet on a regular basis. From today onward, that will be my goal. I will study and absorb like a sponge. I will wake up at 5 AM and run. I will read my books, play my video games, and read my manga. I will learn my instruments, and I will learn coding until my eyes bleed. I will be the greatest hacker known to man. I'm not a genius, but I have the heart to do so.  Hikki are the ones with strongest motivation, since we are so fed up with the state of our lives. Nothing is more disgusting and painful than the guilt of a neet.

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>>4483
not the same anon
>It's no wonder with posts like this why 8chan was dying and this place along with the rest of the webring slowly bleeds users.
8chan died because el paso "shooting" (read that as "inside job"), the webring "bleeds" users because imageboards have become a place where 20somethings get to pretend they are oldfags from 2008 and call everyone a (insert buzzword) in a purity apocalypse where all you are allowed to do is be smug, post "banter" and "bait", there is no content, no discussion, no nothing, only LARPing to feed some made up persona and fill the void while making up derivatives of historical materialism to explain phenomena and the alledged "downfall" of imageboards

your weak-bitch smug posting and the fact that BO (presumably) deleted his posts proves my point, im gonna transmute into a trascendental Fiend-creature and skullfuck you all untill you´re dead niggers

>>4482
>but if you constantly give in to base urges you are essentially neutralized as a man. 
define "man"
> I made excuses that masturbating without porn wasn't harmful. Prior to the act I always felt a sense of warmth and excitement stronger than everything else in my life. Not knowing how to handle this sensation I indulged in the fantasy by ejaculation and everytime I felt a sense of regret.
that´s a you problem (or "skill issue" like the smug faggots like to say nowadays), most of my feelings of guilt have been externally induced, it is when i have stopped caring about what XYZ interest group thinks about me that those guilt feelings instantly dissapeared, specially about masturbation, wich has been giving me superpowers
>but regular ejaculation is. The taoist chinks knew about that 2000 years ago. That is the wisdom of the ancients.
Tao said that the world is a heavenly sigil and that you shouldn´t fuck with it, wich explains why everyone in politics and every single megalomaniac that has tried to change the world has ended up getting fucked by it or ultimately the useful idiot of another force

This site is "dying" because it's not attracting nor does it want new users, and people tend to drop off eventually for their own reasons.

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>>4493
im here because my job wifi doesn't allow me to go to 4, 8, nor end but this site, leftypol, kissu, hikari and trashchan are allowed, i only browse this site on the job but i conviced a dev to include it on a image board mobile app so hopefully i'll browse it more often
i was banned from both lolcow and soy

>>4494
Do they pay you for browsing the Internet? I hope you get fired.

>>4495
i do chatbot testing, so technically they do pay me for browsing the internet.

>>4502
I bet they pay you to watch Minecraft Let's Plays too.

>>4502
Sounds comfy
>>4495
Imagine caring about your job beyond keeping it for the $

>>4507
>Imagine caring about your job beyond keeping it for the $
Spoken like a true prostitute.

>>4492
>because imageboards have become a place where 20somethings get to pretend they are oldfags from 2008 and call everyone a (insert buzzword) in a purity apocalypse where all you are allowed to do is be smug, post "banter" and "bait", there is no content, no discussion, no nothing, only LARPing to feed some made up persona and fill the void
That's generally a main issue of course but there is also a constant hostility and pessimism on any board that isn't focused on a hobby where people just put each other down out of habit rather than cynicism or filtering like >>4495. To expand on what you said, the problem with 8chan was that anything that deviated from status quo, taste consensus, and uniformity was just written off as garbage that marked you as an outsider normalfag that needs to fuck off and so with no diversity of thought and posts people slowly did fuck off out of frustration or stagnancy; it mistook community as dogma. I could write an essay about this and others could too but it was talked about in the last thread and gets constantly discussed on this entire site so it feels trite to do so.
>BO (presumably) deleted his posts
I think the guy got ashamed and knew the repliers were right.

>>4509
>the problem with 8chan was that anything that deviated from status quo, taste consensus, and uniformity was just written off as garbage that marked you as an outsider normalfag that needs to fuck off
How is this a problem? I understand that stagnation is bad but standards exist for a reason.

>>4510
If you aren't having sex, going outside, and being yourself, then you're an INCEL and you're part of the problem. Standards which promote HATRED and BIGOTRY are never good and should be changed, uniformity is BAD! Do better.

>>4492
>most of my feelings of guilt have been externally induced, it is when i have stopped caring about what XYZ interest group thinks about me
yes, you don't even notice anymore that you are actively destroying yourself because your natural instinct for shame has been subverted.

>>4510
When the standards are so strict, and the reactions to the violation of these standards violently autistic, most people decide they're better off not dealing with that. Which is completely ironic, coming from 8chan and its offspring, the supposed safe haven of freeze peach (unless it's speech I don't like)

Or dogma as community.
>>4510
I feel like I'm repeating what I already typed. It goes beyond community standards and healthy gatekeeping, and turns into social rules and policing until everyone is deduced into 2 or 3 archetypes becoming more like a hivemind where every question and answer is already known. It's the same line as all Redditors being alike and ostracizing anyone that doesn't fit their combination of politics, opinions and taste. I think the way this turned out came from GamerGate which converted many Redditors, NeoGAF members, Tumblrites and more to imageboards discarding their affectations and customs while still keeping the personalities and idea of law that made them into those people or became attracted to those communities in the first place.

>>4515
Free speech on imageboards is - and has always been - a meme.

>>4515
8chan in general was supposed to be the freeze peach zone, not /r9k/ in particular. If it was a freeze peach zone then it would have been easily turned into what 4chan /r9k/ was turned into, it's not like they didn't try. /r9k/ has always had a culture that was hostile to visitors who didn't conform to our particular type of autism. It was that way even in the 4chan days even though the moderation didn't enforce that attitude which was why it was ultimately turned into slop. Those people have plenty of places to congregate that suit them, the robot has few places like /r9k/. You can say that the reaction is over the top sometimes, but a certain amount of hostility keeps a small group from losing itself. /r9k/ of all places is the last place you'd want free speech.

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You guys have been going on about dead forums for literally years now. Get a hobby or something.

>>4508
Spoken like a true wagecuck, emphasis on "cuck"
Imagine being proud of having to wageslave

>>4519
>2008
<NEWFAGS EVERYWHERE! Imageboards are doomed
>2011~2013
<LEFTIES EVERYWHERE! Imageboards are doomed!
>2016
<RIGHT WING ELECTION TOURISTS EVERYWHERE! Imageboards are doomed!
>2019
<CENSORSHIP EVERYWHERE! Imageboards are doomed!
>2024
<ALL THE NEWFAGS, LEFTIES AND ELECTION TOURISTS ARE GONE! DEAD BOARD! Imageboards are doomed!

>>4521
Imageboards exist in a quantum state of simultaneously being more doomed than ever and being more back than ever. The more doomed they get the more back they get.

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>>4513
>Natural instinct
yes the natural instinct for wasps to put their larvae eggs in parasitial fashion? Dolphins raping baby seals to death?, polar bears having a "kill on sight" policy towards evetything they see? naturalism is a mental illness that should be cured by studying insects for more than 30 seconds, those who look for "Natural" to justify moralism are profoundly ignorant and retarded, if anything nature valdiates all sorts of gay nigger stuff since there are homosexual animals, matriarchal species, hypergamia is pretty much a default across many species like cats and dogs...

>>4510
Substance > Style
there is a reason why the term "failed normalfag" exists, just because someone behaves externally in a certain way doesn´t mean someone is that way, look at all the tradthots that behave in certain ways but are ultimately just like any other femoid, or again, normalfags that do not understand what is wrong with modern civilization and who only "react" aganist it in so much as it does not cater to them

>>4521
the more thins change the more they stay the same, evolution and progress are a mass-scale operation in Cognitive Warfare to induce and re-shape the worldview towards a Babel-centric Nihilism-fueled Religion, what´s your point?

The idea of wagecucking for 30+ years because there is no neetbux here makes me want to fucking kill myself.

>>4524
If you can't convince your parents to let you NEET on their dime and you absolutely have to get a job, I'd say get a job where you can be physically active so that you don't have time to think about how much it sucks. Physical labor is a lot easier to focus on and not spend too much time in your own thoughts angry at the world while you're doing it. Avoid jobs where you've got to spend the majority of the time bending over in awkward positions though. When I was younger I had a job working at a gardening center sort of place where they made me stack/align bricks on palettes that were under other shelves so I had to hunch over awkwardly for hours and at a certain point I could feel that if I stayed at that job I would ruin my spine for life.

>>4525
>>4524
how do you niggers even get a job? i don´t even know where to begin, like where do you go? what do you even look up?

Maybe this is a parochial view. Have any of you noticed how writers on the authoritarian left and libertarian right tend to rely more on pseudo-logical appeals to reason? Take Marx and Rothbard as examples in their philosophy. They take groundless or consensus based ('common sense') principles, then systematize them. In contrast, the libertarian left and authoritarian right are generally less systematic and tend to rely on appeals to utopianism or national grandeur. Carl Schmitt comes to mind as an exception on the authoritarian right, but he does not disprove the tendency.
Why is this the case?

Everything is confusing, painful and upsetting.

>>4525
Physical active jobs here pay nothing, and in any case, I am too clumsy and already have had job accidents before working on a lab, imagine working with powered tools. You need to get an IT job working for a foreign company and even that is drying up right now. The job market here is terrible.
I wish this shithole was nuked already.

Nigger whatever the fuck happened to Philosophy? i swear contemporary "Deep" thought comes down to pointing at something and saying that it´s not real and making a big deal out of it
"Oh reality isn´t real because something something sight is just waves goin thru your brain"

the alternative is to point the finger at something and then make a complex out of it
"Oh you hate X because it reminds you of Y wich activates your jungian fashion sense that feeds into the shadow and that triggers you!"

do these niggers even know about the Trigram of Agrippa?
what is the hermetic principle of vibration am i right guise?

>>4561
Those who can't bother to have patience to introspect upon their knowledge and worldview, get over their egos, or are just plain midwits getting their hands on it, thinking they can build up and justify their shallow worldviews like slapping shit on the wall and see what sticks. Or even worse when they do it without consideration and twist the meaning of the text at hand to purely justify themselves. Philosophy, the same as politics, is as cheap as entertainment now and lifestyle gurus are means of income, no different from trading cards or in antiquity when people took bits and pieces of each others' religions. Everyone is so fucking enlightened now and absolutely not just self-congratulating autopilots who've just had a marginal increase in consciousness watering down and taking up space in intellectual discussion, and also not a lesson learned on why even fucking politics and philosophy needs to be gatekept.

>>4561
As everything nowadays, it is more important to earn money or improve your social standing than actually finding any kind of  truth. "Philosophy" (in quotations because what passes for philosophy now is mostly mental masturbation) is not exempt of this.

Itched my balls too much and now they're bleeding. Can feel the blood trickling over my taint. They still itch badly, too. This sucks.

>>4567
The Demiurge's great creation in action

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It makes me feel kinda sad to remember how good we used to have it. I really miss the community 8chan used to have. It feels like imageboards are just dead, 4chan is a complete joke, no one ever says anything of value. I just get bummed out because my life has changed so much since 8chan died and I didn't have anyone to share it with. Obviously I'm still a khhv but I'm not sad anymore, I got a good paying job, the stuff I always wanted and a nice apartment. I used to think about all the things I don't have and I'd get so twisted up over it I'd start crying. I was seriously about to kill myself but then I started thinking "what if this is it? What if there's no afterlife at all and this is the life I chose to live?". I decided if I only have one life I should at least see it to the very end. I decided if I'm just stuck like this why not make the most of what I have? I'm not attractive enough to get girls and my social skills are basically zero, hell just talking with strangers makes me so nervous I want to puke, but that doesn't mean I can't be happy. I had this revelation one day while I was wallowing in self pity, self improvement is its own reward. If I start trying to better myself expecting to be rewarded at the end I'm not actually improving. I shouldn't eat healthy expecting to get chicks, I'll eat healthy so I feel better. Instead of trying to make myself more appealing for other people I'm just gonna try to be the person I always wanted to be, for me and me alone. So yeah, I don't have any friends and I'll probably always be alone but what's the point in getting angry over things I can't control? I was born this way so I might as well do the best I can.

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>>4606
Seeing the board in its current state is definitely strange. I come every once in a while to see how the site is doing. It's hard to put into words. It's not dead, but I can really say it's alive either. In a way, it reminds of my grandparents and how they would get sad when a distant relative, or friend of the family, they hadn't seen in years would die; I never really understood why it was such a strong emotion until very recently. It feels like there are less in the world who get "it". I imagine that for my grandpa hearing the passing of someone who shared his vision of the world, and lived through similar experiences, must have been heartbreaking even if he only knew that person superficially.
On the topic of the meaning of my life, I always knew that I was going to have a life different from the rest of people. The prospect of living an unusual life never really bothered me. However, I do have something that has been bothering these past few years. Having the benefit of being able to read back my plans from the posts that I'd made years before, I feel as if I've made no progress whatsoever towards my goals; in a sense I feel like I've regressed on some things. Even then, a very small part of me refuses to give up and makes me feel like a good future is still possible. I don't know what the future might hold for me, I still show small glimpses of greatness sometimes, so who knows, maybe something interesting might happen.

I definitely not regret not killing myself, the world has proven to be a very interesting place as I predicted a few years back.
>>3256

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>>4606
I don't use imageboards as much as I used to and the primary reason is that the people that use them have become constantly aggressive, defensive, phony and snide, like they're incapable of kindness or patience, or would dare let the thought cross their head to swallow their ego and read. This post from 8/r9k/ ironically describes it.

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>>3883 (OP) 
My delusions crashed down and I realized what a lazy, selfish, piece of shit I am.
I'm not special.  I'm not insane.  I have no great hidden knowledge.  I'm just a person who basically chose to be a loser.  To be a failure.
I'm trying to correct that now.

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>>4615

my dad was too busy drinking bud light and complaining all my childhood and today he argued with my mom and made a subtle remark about how i failed to grow up and now i just wish i could sleep forever again. this miserable life is tiresome. abortion is good if it stops a subhuman like me from existing.

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At the time I was hating 8chan but I wish it didn't die. I wish I had anyone to relate to and be able to carry a conversation with.

>>4632
boredom pilled.

my dopamine cycles are fried. what a blessing to be genuinely bored and not due to overstimulation.

>>4632
Gigazoomer here. I finished high school (3 years here) some months ago and I'm going to ramble a bit about my School Days.

I signed up for a tech-focused curriculum, and I expected my class to be full of nerd types and soyboy types, but it was mostly composed of generic normalfags. I had the fortune of having a 100% male class though, I guess "womyn can code" isn't as propagandized here. There were some more interesting types, but they ended up dropping out/leaving the class (my class started with like 24 people but by the end of HS it was like 14...). The most notable one was a whole can of worms, but in short, he was a guitar-playing spic(?) who claimed to have a gorillion physical and mental illnesses and was constantly telling bizarre lies and made up life stories, and he rarely appeared to school, but when he did, he would claim that he had a bladder problem and would ask to go to the bathroom every single class and then spend the rest of the class smoking outside (oh, and he also literally looked like Che Guevara). He eventually transferred to another school and the last thing I heard of him is that he joined a small band(??). I also had one nigger, and I got into trouble with him in the first week of school because I told a nigger joke to someone else, which made me become much more careful about this sort of thing around others. He was expectedly quite low IQ and I have no idea why he signed up for the tech-focused curriculum, but by the end of the second year fortunately he literally left to another country because "ah'm just gunna be a socca playa" (yes). For the time that he was here, though, he would have very bad performance in the already easy classes and teachers would give him passing grades out of pity/nigger loving.

About the classes themselves, the tech related subjects were quite easy and dumbed down, I don't think that I learned a single thing. For example, in programming class they just taught the basics of C# over three years. The generic subjects were all boring and from the little that they taught, it all entered in one ear and left from the other. Understandably the only subject that I struggled with was physical "education". By the end of the first year the school was also lending laptops (generic Windows ones, not Chromebooks), which understandably were quite useful for tech-related classes, but in generic classes some teachers also allowed the students to use the laptops to take class notes instead of physical notebooks. Everyone spent most of their time on the laptops playing online games together or doing literal online gambling or whatever, and some people just watched TikToks on their phones (even though unlike laptops, phones weren't allowed in any classes). I browsed the SFW cuckchan boards.

There was only one "cool" teacher, who was the programming one, but otherwise most teachers weren't particularly notable. Other than the teacher for the national language, who was another can of worms. I don't know where to even begin... but basically, she was an ostensibly mentally ill roastie who was very strict about everything (like coming one minute late to class), but at the same time her classes had a more liberal avant-garde nature where she would give extremely weird exercises only tangentially related to the subject and the next few classes were spent on the students autonomously doing those exercises and in the end presenting them to the rest of the class. She liked to incorporate "modern" and "relevant" thing into those exercises, for example one time you had to make a PowerPoint with AI "art" and NFTs because......??? She would also constantly ramble about how no one cares about culture and school these days anymore, and you couldn't mention anything surrounding these and other topics without her going on ramblings about it or making sarcastic remarks. Oh, and she openly identified as a leftist.

>>4634 [CONT.]
Anyway, I didn't interact a lot with others, and I don't know that much about what "cliques" there were and whatnot, though there were a lot of niggers (including mudslimes) and other subhumans (a problem in my country in general), and I remember there being nigger and wigger "gangsta" types (for the lack of a better word) who would smoke weed outside or something. I didn't end up really making friends, but there were two guys in my class who I got somewhat along with. One was a bit of a soyboy and he actually paid attention to classes and was enthusiastic about techbro/techjeet stuff, but we ended up getting along because we both were like outcasts (oh, and he also literally looked like Big Buck Bunny). The other one was more of a "street smart" wigger "gangsta" type who was obsessed with weed (during one field trip he smoked weed at least 3 times) and maybe even had a weed farm at home (he watched YouTube videos about growing weed during classes), and he also was a bit of a techjeet and supposedly owned a small business where he 3D-printed stuff on order. Somehow he was on a somewhat similar wavelength to me (at least compared to everyone else in the class) and we got somewhat along.

As for how school went... in my first year they actually forced me to go to the school psychologist because they thought there was something wrong with me because of my introversion, and then I told some stupid shit, and some weeks later the psychologist roasties came in the middle of a class to give a presentation about "mental health", and they invented a character that was literally like a parody of me and the things I said, and compared it to a made up character who had literal diabetes but at least was "social", and then they said that the latter is a more "healthy" person than the former. By the second year, though, I decided that my introversion and negativism were induced by imageboards and similar spaces, and then I started doing an extremely bizarre normalfag/extrovert LARP that goes beyond parody and wasn't remotely resemblant of a normalfag. I won't go into details, but I still get cringe attacks about it almost every day. It only lasted a few months, and after that it took a toll on me and I became like a super emo guy, and people around were always asking me if I'm OK. And at one moment I started getting light bullying from part of my class (part of it was probably my warped perception, though) and then eventually I decided to "drop out" of school but then gave up on the plan because it had several huge issues. The curriculum also included two short internships, one at the end of the second year, and one at the end of the third year. At that point I expected the internship to be horrible, but I didn't really do much in it and it was somewhat relaxing, and surprisingly it ended up kind of "healing" me. The third year was the best one. I learned from my mistakes and I managed to spend the year optimally, managing to not look too weird and emo/antisocial on the outside without actually doing some pathetic LARP.

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>>4634
>>4635
I went in the mid-2010s and my experiences were similar to 232270, 238205, and 249968. Everything was defined and colored by the bleakness and nihilism of nothing happening for 8 hours and how demeaning it was that we have been living this life for our entire lives at this point. Everyone did their best to cope with it and be human but retrospectively no one really wanted to fucking do this shit routine, and when I thought about it in that thread it's bizarre we have to live this way. A little example in response yours is a class with a teacher who gave absolutely no fucks about what he was teaching because it was a small credit about music and the entire class including myself just ignored him and talked loudly or played with electronics, his life was just to collect a paycheck or look forward to his coming retirement. It wasn't so bad for me because, due to bad behavior, I got put in a class for kids with curricular or emotional difficulties (or caught with drugs) where you could use a laptop and got familiar with the same pool of students for a semester.

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>>4608
its not only ibs though, the Internet is now a cesspit where Ecelebs fight eachother with their gropies and different strains of Normalfaggotry get to pick fistfights with eachother while highlighting their own life as some sort of argument, people don´t even know how to talk anymore they just use a Condescending tone and pretend being smug is an argument, Lying is the name of the game and all that matters is how "Based" you look in the face of your E-tribe, everything is now a political statement just like lenin wanted, and your every action will be scrutinized and judged by homosexuals on the internet and E-Cult Leaders

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>>4606
>It feels like imageboards are just dead, 4chan is a complete joke, no one ever says anything of value.
Yep, halfchan is nearly unrecognizable. I do disagree with the last part of this sentence, though. There are still a few legit anons dropping quality posts on a couple of boards that are like gold nuggets scattered over a bog. The overall post quality there is definitely not good enough to make me wholeheartedly recommend anyone to go back, but from time to time, good posts can still be found.
> I was seriously about to kill myself but then I started thinking "what if this is it? What if there's no afterlife at all and this is the life I chose to live?". I decided if I only have one life I should at least see it to the very end. I decided if I'm just stuck like this why not make the most of what I have? I'm not attractive enough to get girls and my social skills are basically zero, hell just talking with strangers makes me so nervous I want to puke, but that doesn't mean I can't be happy. I had this revelation one day while I was wallowing in self pity, self improvement is its own reward. If I start trying to better myself expecting to be rewarded at the end I'm not actually improving. I shouldn't eat healthy expecting to get chicks, I'll eat healthy so I feel better. Instead of trying to make myself more appealing for other people I'm just gonna try to be the person I always wanted to be, for me and me alone. So yeah, I don't have any friends and I'll probably always be alone but what's the point in getting angry over things I can't control? I was born this way so I might as well do the best I can.
You're on the right path, anon. Just keep stoking that Divine Spark within you, that is your fiery Spirit. I was suicidal too, and unlike you I actually tried it but the medicine I tried to OD on failed to cause the cardiac arrest that I was expecting. Just like this anon >>4607 , I don't regret the failed attempt one bit, I have changed and learned much since it. Instead of completely killing me, it seems to have caused a divine rebirth.
>>4607
>Even then, a very small part of me refuses to give up and makes me feel like a good future is still possible. I don't know what the future might hold for me, I still show small glimpses of greatness sometimes, so who knows, maybe something interesting might happen.
Never give up, anon! Both of you anons are doing great, all you have to do is keep the Divine Flame alive!
>>4608
>I don't use imageboards as much as I used to
Same, it has been nearly two years since I have used any IB. I might have returned for now but I don't see myself continuing to use them for much longer in the near future. I might occasionally check here on Sleepy on a weekly basis and make some replies, but that's it, because as far as I can tell, Sleepychan is the only decent IB left. Not even the other sites on the webring are good anymore.
>and the primary reason is that the people that use them have become constantly aggressive, defensive, phony and snide, like they're incapable of kindness or patience, or would dare let the thought cross their head to swallow their ego and read. This post from 8/r9k/ ironically describes it.
I completely agree with you and with your screencap, that is precisely the reason why I think the other sites on the webring are bad. They are also full of normalniggers too, from what I have seen.
>>4639
>its not only ibs though, the Internet is now a cesspit where Ecelebs fight eachother with their gropies and different strains of Normalfaggotry get to pick fistfights with eachother while highlighting their own life as some sort of argument, people don´t even know how to talk anymore they just use a Condescending tone and pretend being smug is an argument
Can confirm, I'm noticing the same thing, especially the part about lying.

Holy shit. I've just found out that r9k is still (sort of, kind of) alive. Amazing. I used to frequent 8ch r9k a lot, even if just to read-only through it. It was the only place inhabited by people I could relate to. I miss it terribly. 
I've browsed through this and other ftddtot threads and I almost could feel like I am home. Ahh, the merciless onslaught of modernity that makes everything I like either dead or normalnigger-filled garbage...

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>>4632
I remember before the scamdemic hit on my first day of high school (more akin to college in 'merica) there was a cute autistic girl who just walked up to me and asked me about my hobbies and shiet. Needless to say I was already deeply trapped inside my grand delusions and ignored her, like everyone else. I was walking around in black all day and was LARPING as a goth faggot. I dropped out after 1/2 a year.
Needless to say, 5 years later I'm a broken failed normalnigger. I'll always regret all the missed oppertunities back then.
Though I like to think the last year I've become a lot more stoic about the whole thing and kinda accepted my suffering. This is the path I chose. If I hadn't been born with this "disorder" who knows what kind of morally corrupt normalnigger I would be nowadays.
There was also a nigger in my class who liked to talk about how he fucked roasties on tinder. 
The normalniggers in the other classes liked to teased me about my introperspection and were always staring at me as some kind of intimidation.
I think most of the classes I didn't even pay any attention and completely unplugged, listening to my headphones all day or browsing wizchan or some other shithole.

My entire being is a swirling miasma of hatred (towards myself and others) and pure misery. I'm in a constant state of  blind homicidal rage. My only options at this point are to act on those impulses, or to kill myself to prevent the former. There is no future where I just self-improoove to become something resembling a human being, whatever that means. In short, I'm on the precipice from which there is no turning back, and I don't even care anymore.

Happy New Year to all still functioning robots.Though I have zero delusions about the upcoming 365 days. It's been steadily getting worse with each year and I am sure 2025 will bring a whole new batch of misery into my existence and the world as a whole. 

2024 was the year I died on the inside for good. I barely feel anything anymore aside from frustration or annoyance. Nothing is interesting, nothing is exciting. I just wake up, do my wageslaving (which pays me pathetic peanuts), then I lay in bed the rest of my day and dream of not existing. Also daydreaming impotently about slicing my arteries and extinguishing this pointless charade for good as well, but it is unlikely to happen. This summer I was the closest to heroing myself i'd ever been before, but I couldn't bring myself do to it fully. The possibility that some magical fuckery will happen and I will end up in a worse place that I am right now is paralyzing. I am talking about some kind of wretched afterlife. I wish I could believe in 'nothingness' after death. Or, at least, I wish I weren't such a coward faggot.

I was in the same place the past few years.
After years of self imposed misery, 2024 was the year I decided if I want to kill myself I might as well try living to the fullest. And if thaf ends up breaking me, I can always kill myself in the end.

Do you guys want a self improvement thread? I've been trying hard lately to be successful and to reach my goals, I kinda want to share my methods and journal it out. I'm nowhere near the goal, it might take a life time, but at least it may help some robots out there drowning in depression. Because I was one, and no matter how much I wanted to change, I just couldn't muster any motivation to do so.

>>4718
If it doesn't violate the rules of the board it's fine. But you might not get much engagement. Or you might get a lot, who knows. Just make the thread.

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What missing from my life right now is to be addicted to MMORPG. I have always been a lazy person, even too lazy to dedicate to a videogame. And I always had this intense guilt whenever I played games, so I was never able to have as much fun as I could. But that will change, my 2025 new year resolution is to dedicate and be addicted to MMORPG. I'm trying out Runscape, EVE Online, Albion Online,... starting with the free ones first. 
I've been binging a lot of WoW videos on youtube and it makes me sad how much fun the community was, and how i wasn't able to join in during that period. But it's not like the game is dead, I can always play it now. 
What MMORPG robots are playing now? I want to try them out.

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i wasted two days playing a shit game that i didn´t like and now i am feeling frustrated to the point i can´t even sleep, my whole weekend has been ruined by this piece of shit and there´s none to lash out at, what a disgusting state of affairs, i hope the devs blew their brains out at the company goes bankrupt at some point

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>>4721
now why would you not mention the name of the game anon?

>>4722
You can see it in the QTDDTOT on /v/

>>4722
what >>4723 said, sorry, i assumed it would be obvious since this place isn´t that big and most people crosspost anyways

>>4720
I used to be addicted to SWTOR. It is a story-focused MMOS that gives you a real part in the world around you and not forces you into being a cuck that just watches true characters doing shit like in wow. Dialogue options are fun, especially as a sith. 
 The original (most) class stories are great fun. After all, they wasted 300 mils on those.  You can complete them for free, even if with great inconviences. After that the game stops being that great. Addons aren't as fun, but they are entertaining enough to play through once. They are pretty long, so you will have something to chew through for a long time.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss dolphin and eunuch. My memory has gotten so bad that I don't even remember what exactly dolphin did to get his fame around that period. Time flies so fast, it hurts. I wish the best for both of those weirdos and any robots who found a new home.I truly miss the time I used to shitpost with robots.

>>4726
Dolphin destroyed one of the previous /r9k/ instances, I hope he is currently dying a slow death by an extremely painful cancer.
Eunuch was a funny lolcow, so he is fine.

>>4726
an old robot.
the eunuch was a fun one, a little bit damaged in the header doe.

dolphin was an obnoxious brat.

I hate myself and everyone else so fucking much. Why can't I die in my sleep? I don't want to go through immense pain, regret or both to be freed from this miserable world.

>>4732
same here, i don´t hate myself though, just other people, i dunno im mostly cold most of the time, read doctrine of awakening? buddhism goes hard

>>4726
>>4727
>>4729
Fuck eunuch, retarded cucknadian tranny. Fuck dolphin, wouldn't surprise me if that little faggot is in one of those pedo sextortion discord groups now. I wish the best for only the lost robots who never tried to stand out from the crowd.

>>4736
Eunuch was a retarded cucknadian tranny but he did made me laugh at some point.

>>4726
What's the term for nostalgia for petty events or objectively bad times, grasping at what amount to crumbs of stimuli in relation to a mind that is decaying from inertia. Because I miss those people as much as I miss walking home from school or some other mundanity.

I stumbled on a pretty interesting article on prehistorical societies:
https://www.theintrinsicperspective.com/p/the-gossip-trap

An excerpt that stood out to me:
>It may even be that money, rather than being invented to keep track of trade relationships or debts for private property, was invented to keep track of social relationships instead. For example, consider again the Yurok, who inhabited the northwestern corner of California, and note that
>>the Yurok were famous for the central role that money—which took the form of white dentalium shells arranged on strings, and headbands made of bright red woodpecker scalps—played in every aspect of their social lives.
>The most famous of this sort of “money,” wampum, was not originally used by indigenous Americans as something that could be settled for goods or services, like the way we understand money now, or the way it became once European settlers arrived. Instead, according to the Davids, wampum “largely existed for political purposes,” i.e., to keep track of social capital, not material capital. Even private property itself might have been only an extension of social relations.

And:
>But it never seems to strike Dunbar or others that living under a dominion of raw social power, with few to little formal powers anywhere, would be hellish to a citizen of the 21st century (which is why I say the closest analog is high school). My mother used to quote Eleanor Roosevelt all the time:
>>Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
>A “gossip trap” is when your whole world doesn’t exceed Dunbar’s number and to organize your society you are forced to discuss mostly people. It is Mean Girls (and mean boys), but forever. And yes, gossip can act as a leveling mechanism and social power has a bunch of positives—it’s the stuff of life, really. But it’s a terrible way to organize society. So perhaps we leveled ourselves into the ground for 90,000 years. Being in the gossip trap means reputational management imposes such a steep slope you can’t climb out of it, and essentially prevents the development of anything interesting, like art or culture or new ideas or new developments or anything at all. Everyone just lives like crabs in a bucket, pulling each other down. All cognitive resources go to reputation management in the group, to being popular, leaving nothing left in the tank for invention or creativity or art or engineering. Again, much like high school.
>And this explains why violating the Dunbar number forces you to invent civilization—at a certain size (possibly a lot larger than the actual Dunbar number) you simply can’t organize society using the non-ordinal natural social hierarchy of humans. Eventually, you need to create formal structures, which at first are seasonal and changeable and theatrical, and take all sorts of diverse forms, since the initial condition is just who’s popular. But then these formal systems slowly become real.

TL;DR gossip is antithetical to civilization (roughly)

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I'm balding, I started having acne and apparently I've developed allergies. All at almost 30 years of age.

Meanwhile I open linkedin (not even sure why the fuck I do it, clearly I'm beyond retarded) and I get people from high school adding me, despite me trying to avoid them as hard as I could all of these years. It's reminding me how I let those shitty teenage years dictate most of my 20s, and how I still have an inferiority complex because I was a neet for 7 years while much of my class did quite well for itself.

I guess some people just have to be the bad guys so society can stabilize around mutual hatred for them. Sometimes it just gets tiring to constantly feel like a clay golem lacking something fundamental to being human.