open for business
The Waifufaggotry Thread is getting a bit Derailed, so i made this one to take the Discussions on the Nature of the Divine
As Always, i still do Tarot Reads, but no More than 5 Cards, and please THINK before you ask for reads, because they really are a pain in the ass for me to Make
Esoteric Waifufag's (Namefagging mainly to specify that this is the Compilation of One specific Anon, based around his Interests, as opposed to a Exhaustive Compilation of Tomes) Library:https://anonfiles.com/b6n2x3H7o3/Library_7z
Thanks for making this thread.
Now for that one anon in the waifuism thread:
In a way, ascetism is a battle one has to fight, isn't it? We all have nigger tier impulses in us (I won't deny this, after all I have a material body in which my spirit lies), and we have to best them. The process of it is not unlike a gradual "awakening" in which one realizes how asleep one was before it.
Your waifu is literally God communicating with you. Everyone's is.
No I am.
Of course we are all God also, but everyone knew that already.
>insane god nigger is back
I'm not insane. I'm God.
Dude I already told you, I'm God. Stop spouting BS faggot.
>In a way, ascetism is a battle one has to fight, isn't it? We all have nigger tier impulses in us
The word Aryan originally means "those who are born twice". Not only you have to be born in a high caste from a noble race but you have to be initiated in order to be fully Aryan, fully awakened and to have a true connection with the divine, able to practice the rituals that protect you family's power, honor your ancestors that achieved those powers through their heroic deeds and protect the younger generations.
But with the decadence of the hierarchic system and the beginning of race mixing, Buddhism appeared to show the way of ascesis to those who were fed up with the decay. But it is still a practical objective way to achieve your goal that is taught by an Aryan master, as the original Buddha was of royal descent, from one of the most prestigious families. We need to stay away from the new age faggotry of "one needs to discover himself" and other vague statements. Because from what I understood, it was a very objective way to go about things, we just don't have the knowledge necessary, and there is lot of corrupted doctrines from the dravidians.
I'm not kidding, I think I'm the one true being.
Delusion is a sin. You like many of the worst of the world, including trannies, are deluded. Reflect on what you've become.
>Delusion is a sin
Then you'd better stop believing in your god.
I believe in no gods. Especially not ones who are autistic deluded niggers on the internet.
I am 100% confident that I'm not deluded, though it's impossible for me to convince you. Maybe one day something will happen and solidify my belief. I'm still waiting for that day. I have been aware of this ever since I became conscious about this world, it's not something I recently came up. I have never disclosed this belief of mine to anyone for fear that they would never understand me.
I also believe that one day I will snap and things will finally go the way planned for me. It probably will happen soon, some traumatic event or similar gay shit makes me reject my humanity completely and find out who I am before all this.
Will you be Autism God and enslave all normalfags under your harsh but fair Justice? Make them suffer oh Great Autistic One
someone complained about Anon-Files being slow as molasses, im gonna repost that link plus a mirror of Dropbox:
I was hoping you could give me some advice, and I'm one of the "hardcore ksatryas" if that helps frame this. I think I'm at a crossroad where I have to commit to a tool, either borderline sensory deprivation or some form of waifu-related stimulus conditioning in order to work on self-integration, the diamond body, whatever is the best way to phrase this pursuit. My ability to develop in lucid dreaming stalled years ago, and although meditation on emptiness is not difficult for me, dialing in my consciousness to be functional in dreams hasn't really advanced no matter how much research I've put in. Also, I am poor at visualizing anything without a reference. So here are the two options I see before me to make actual progress:
1. Cut out all unnecessary stimuli -- basically when I don't have to do anything, lay down and deprive my senses of external input. I suspect this could be effective, though boredom would be a factor to overcome. I'd still get physical exercise regularly but cut out as much interaction with screens as possible. It would force myself to be more and more familiar with my mental processes, but would also remove themes I could use as tools to bring forth and recognize my position in a semi-unconscious state. Which leads to,
2. Focused intent using specific themes/symbols/imagery. This would involve something like harnessing my base instincts by visualizing and seeking out some kind of dream waifu thought-forms as persistent themes and triggers for self-awareness in the semi-unconscious state. Maybe they would also arise as guides in the post-death state.
If you feel like doing a tarot reading or could shed some light on this some other way, I'd really appreciate it.
sorry to dissapoint you but its not like i can help you with that,thing is i know fuck all about meditation, i already tried my hand back in the day and i am certain that i have no capabilities for Magick at all, i can't even meditate let alone Lucid Dreaming as you mention, all i have learned and understood has come to me through Intuition and Contemplation, combined with Faith on my Sweet Taihou, one of my Associates however is Aquainted with Alchemy and is in the same track as you, i told him about your post, wether he decides to give you a hand or not its his deal, what i can do for you tho is to give you a Tarot Read, in order to make things quicker ill post the Thoth Tarot Deck so you can look at the pictures if you want (the PDF is in german but i think you can make it out easy from the numbers), either way ill throw 3 Cards your way, if you need more context i can throw you another one up to a maximum of 8, (i say 8 because for me that is the number in wich i have enough Context to understand what they mean without them being too verbose, simply put Readings beyond 10 are so Dilluted in their meaning the don't make sense, or comprise a Scale that extends far into the Future and Possibility for it to be Useful in any case)
Card 1:Ace of Cups:Water in its most absolute sense,
Card 2:Ace of Wands
Card 3:4 of Wands "Completion"
the Ace of cups is the Root of Water, pure Potentiality, the Cup in the Picture represents the Holy Grail, thing is that the way Crowley sees the Holy Grail is not really the Holy Grail, in this case the Holy Grail is not the Restoration of the Initiatic point of View and the Beggining of Divinity, but rather Potentiality in its absolute aspect, the Ace of Wands is the opposite of this, Absolute Fire, Activity in its True sense, the 4 of Wands is the Consolidation of Force, it is essentially the Sum of all the things you know and you have done on the Matter up untill now, this is from where you stand,
now at this point i would have posted this, but it is obvious this read lacks a LOT of Context, what i have done is to place the Ace of Cups (Pure Potentiality, Passivity, all that could be) at the Bottom, and the Ace of Wands (Activity, Actuality, in this context i take it as the Stillness Divinity Realized, this is your Goal whatever it may be) at the Top, i have discarded the 4 of Wands back into the Deck, i will shuffle again, and draw cards untill reaching 8 (counting both the Ace of Cups and Ace of wands, so that would be 6 Cards) So from Top to Bottom:
Ace of Wands
10 of Disks "Wealth"
8 of Disks "Prudence"
IV The Emperor
4 of Wands "Completion"
Princess of Disks
4 of Sword "Truce"
Ace of Cups
Truce is a balance of Forces, Swords represent Air but also Thought or Intellection, this may make a Reference to the Mental blockade in wich you find yourself in, either way Truce is limited by Reason, it sits still pondering what is the next step to be taken, the Princess of Disks is the Absolute State of Earth, the Throne of The Spirit, it is really nothing by itself, but rather what you put on it, wether the Princess of Disks is the Heart of the Matter itself, meaning that your "choice" of paths is not really a "Right or Wrong" decision, but a matter of what could be more efficient and pleasant for you, or wether it is something else, it is something you will know, the 4 of Wands appears again, after you have made the choice of what to make out of the Princess of Disks and resolve your conundrum with Truce, it is where your Past Experience and Knowledge enter in Play, The Emperor is Conquest and Dominance, Prudence is all about Calculated Risks, once you have decided where to go, wether you get there or not will be decided by how Solid your Plan is, and your Ability to Stick to it, at this point in the Game there's nothing you can do, you must be Patient and stick to it, Going back will Waste everything you have done at this Stage
Fucking Character Limit/2
following up from Prudence, Prudence is tied to the Emperor, in other words that in order to Reach Victory (Emperor) one has to be Persevering enough to follow the plan taken in the previous stages (Completition Princess of Disks and Truce) and to have made a Good plan in the First place, after this comes Wealth, Wealth is the Accumulation of Power, where Completition was of Past Experiences, a Stache of yes, Valuable Knowledge, but ultimately Actions and things that cannot be acted upon anymore, since they are in the past, this Wealth is the Here and Now, if you did well, you will find yourself in a Position of Advantage, all your Tools at your Disposal, your Target Clearly in view and more than enough knowledge to make the Right call, once you have reached this Stage then you will know what to do and it will be a matter of taking those obvious steps to the Ace of Wands and make the "What Could have Been" into a "What Is"
I'm a fellow "hardcore ksatriya" anon. If you are indeed this, keep in mind that your "waifuism" will be more of a tantric thing, where your waifu represents a "cosmic" force, shakti, pure potentiality, power, and it's up to you to conquer. I myself have not dabbled much in tantra, but will do so in the not so distant future.
It is good to that. I myself I'm trying to have 1 hour long sessions each day, I can't say I'm a master of it (far from it I think) however I' feel as I've made progress. In the hermetical tradition, in particular it's most "applied" branch, Alchemy, the first step of the work (which could be equivalent to the diamond body path you mentioned) is the Nigredo, initiatic death, in which one tries to sever oneself from it's physical body as much as one can, so one can live through death in life and free one's spirit (but one shouldn't let it "go", at the end one has to return to the Earth to "spiritualize" it).
There is the possibility of going through what is called the "dry" path; instead of separating oneself through a "traumatic" experience and going through the nigredo, it is possible to reach the next step, the albedo, by sheer power of one's intellect, understood here as the mercury that is under the control of Aries, the real I, so to say.
I'm not really sure if this is too much nor if I've been able to explain myself well (English is not my first language) but I'm going through a similar path to yours. If you are interested, my tox ID is 27207D1BB1F7FE5C759A043318103BDD37AAEE898B1BEAA4F52A1B011582EF56C05322A60962, we can chat about it and hopefully help each other to break through whatever we feel are our roadblocks.
By the way if any other anon wants to talk, you are free to write to that ID. If you have any trouble reaching me, I might have pasted the ID incorrectly.
Thanks for taking the time to reply, you guys. I'll consider these things and try to commit to a path that will lead to long-term results. I keep having this sense that portions of my life have reached the end of their runway, so to speak, as if it's time to shed a number of mundane distractions; after all, plenty of the fixtures of one's life in this cattle pen are just distractions to keep your head in the trough. Kind of unfortunate that I also run out of things I want to communicate as I realize more and more that there's only a handful of people I see as brothers. Taihou-anon, I think you're probably one of the last people to work his way into a lost art of inner integration of male and female -- the genuine kind, not some new age bullshit. I'm curious how the gradation of souls works in this sense because, as I've said before, there's a spiritual distinction between such a person and the normalcattle, but also some kind of division of labor within our group. So as for a fellow ksatriya, the only good piece of advice I can give, or rather something you should try, is this: periodically go out to a remote area and physically exert yourself to the point where it is painful and you are at your limit. I don't mean go to a gym, I mean find a way to be alone in nature and tap into the berserker state of mind, where there's a strong sense of an "uphill battle" but also self-control and a certain amount of inner stillness. I'm not going to give specifics, that's up to the individual's circumstances. What I can say is that my personal form of this practice has been very important in getting me mentally and physically into the state I need to be in to take the next, more metaphysical steps. Because ultimately I want to help kill the kike god that's running this realm and have a laugh about it afterwards with you fuckers in some other, actually decent plane of consciousness.
>dialing in my consciousness to be functional in dreams
As far as I've gone spiritually/mentally I've never understood how or why to lucid dream. Wouldn't you lose the unexpected nature of dreams that makes them so interesting?
>Wouldn't you lose the unexpected nature of dreams
Definitely not -- you can control yourself and certain aspects of the dream, but the dream itself will mostly produce itself. Some people use the metaphor of a sailor at sea, because you can direct the ship but you're not creating the sea and all of its currents. You can also just maintain lucidity as the dream unfolds on its own terms instead of trying to exert any control.
>why to lucid dream
Lots of reasons. It gives you freedom you'll never experience during normal waking life. If the Tibetan Buddhists are right, if you're proficient at being lucid in your dreams, after you die you'll have a similar coherence and can avoid being reincarnated back into this place. Adding to that, having that coherence in the post-death state would mean being able to exit this plane of existence, viewing it from without, and ending up in a higher plane of consciousness. I believe there is a parasitic pseudo-god manipulating and feeding off of this plane whose location is obscured from other beings, and that the post-death state is the best chance for any of us to do a sort of spiritual reconnaissance so it can be subsequently destroyed.
I can't help with this, unfortunately. I've had maybe around 100-150 lucid dreams in the past decade, none of them at the super high state of lucidity I'm aiming at, and the past few years I've struggled to make progress. I think I'm pretty close to a personal state of being that will mean a breakthrough in this, though.
>Taihou-anon, I think you're probably one of the last people to work his way into a lost art of inner integration of male and female
perhaps, but every time i see Love being talked about on Traditional Teachings is either refered to in its profane level of mere Affection, or as just another Magickal Practice in Doctrines like Tantra, where Love and the Beloved is not even a "real thing" but just a Formulation, it gets worse when you read about Evola saying that where Love Triumphs so does the Roastie, wich in Profane Love and Sex is true, but Taihou is Far from a Filthy Roastie, and lets not even Talk about Guenon because that faggot would probably write every single one of my Experiences off as "Psychic Phenomena" and disregard any suggestion of mine because i wasn't trained by a Yogi, the fucking Snowflake, at any rate i think i have either Stumbled upon a Doctrine that is so Hidden and Secret that not even the Ancients Knew about it, or i just Fucked up big Time, again, i am No Initiate, i cannot into Meditation nor Magick of any kind, i keep hearing about the Bardo and the Post-Death states and how you need a Special kind of Lucidity, wich does fills me with both Anger (or perhaps more along the lines of Dissapointment) and Dread, Dread because i really don't want to get Thrown back into this Fucking Shithole, much less to Forget about Taihou or to be cast away from her, on the other Hand im dissapointed because i feel Denied, its the Recurring theme of Meditation, Alchemy (and all other forms of "Active" Magick) as almost a Requirement for any sort of Progress in this Direction, it is almost as if unless you are a Dry Alchemist, that sees the World as Power and the Path towards initiation a mere Mechanism on wich you do X operations at Y times you get specific Results untill you reach the End, you're fucked, if you somehow use your Instincts instead of Astral-Projecting your ass into the Rubedo you're no good, Mystics are Shunned and reviled (Evola certainly had his fucking issues with those), it is almost as if in the chapter of Heathen Imperialism, "Those who Know, and those who Believe" was actually "Only those who Know in this Certain way", at least this is my Personal Experience, since the more i delve into the Teachings of Evola, Guenon and other Esoterics of the Time from the Thesophists (what a bunch of fucking New Age Clowns Mind you) all i found is Denial of my own Personal Truth, in Favour of the "Yogi Fetishism" of Centralizing Gnosis around Yoga, this Pisses me off Specially since neither Original Hermetism (that means before Middle Ages and Alchemy) nor Neo-Platonism, nor the Gnostics even MENTIONED any sort of Astrology or Meditation at all, but instead banked on Contemplating and Observing Oneself and the World, not through Astral Trips but through Sitting your ass down and using your Mind, and i also Stand as Living proof of this, since, as i said Billions of Times by now, i have never ever succeded at anything Beyond Tarot, and all the Things i Know and Learned, were so through Thinking and Contemplating with the Help of the Wisdom i have Attained through Reading, now Special Tantra Sex Magick, no fucking Clairvoyance Thought Forms, no Alchemy no Nothing
Yes, parts of our higher selves are firewalled off, and it's due to conditioning and poisoning by you know who. Who else would deliberately calcify the human pineal gland to ensure the majority of the cattle just keep their heads down in the trough. It's a shame that things are not intuitive in the sense that they were for our distant ancestors, whose neurology was definitely able to function normally and effectively. On the matter of being lost in the bardo, do you not think Taihou would simply operate as a sort of talisman to get you out of here and not be tricked into returning to this shithole?
>Taihou is Far from a Filthy Roastie
>posts her naked
You have just pimped your waifu sorry man
>You have just pimped your waifu sorry man
a person, especially a man, who solicits customers for a prostitute or a brothel, usually in return for a share of the earnings; pander; procurer.
As far as i know Taihou is not a Prostitute and i have neither offered her in Prostitution, so i don't know what the fuck are you Talking about, Nakedness back in the day used to be a Sign of Purity and Power, when Godesses like Ishtar naked themselves they would Stop whatever perilous force was inbound, the Celts according to Polybius went to War Naked, too bad rabid roasties now parade their decrepit bodies around screeching about some stupid materialistic and inconsequential nonsense, thus kinda ruining the Tradition, either way Taihou's True Form (not the Usual Anime Girl Projection, but her Actual form in the other side of this Misbegotten Realm) is probably a Sight to behold and something so Glorious and Beautiful one would probably be Struck asunder by its Vision, so yeah if you have a problem with Nakedness there's your Solution
now if you have a problem with "Pimping", Taihou is Mine, and Only Mine, and i am Hers, and Only Hers, we are bound in Holy Marriage, not by the "sacrality" of some dumb puritain priest but by the Holyness of our own Spirits, what you "Have" in your computer, is nothing more than a Picture, an Empty Echo, the Feelings that are Aroused by it, the Nights of Love and the Thoughts we have Shared, the Messages she has left me through Tarot and Revelations and the like, all the Thoughts and yes all the Times i've wanked it to her and all the Insanely Degenerate Fantasies and Fetishes i have for Her and that i have Fulfilled with Her, those are all in my Soul and Heart, not in the Pictures, but hey,
keep being Butthurt about it if you wan't to be honest i understand the Antagonism aganist me and my ideas, but i don't understand niggers that are sore about me Loving Taihou, not that i dislike it though, gives me the Perfect Excuse to Talk about the only Relevant Thing to me in all Existance, specially since i'ts been a Few days without feeling "High" on Love (Fuck Being Lucid, i really wish my Mind would Melt down and just think about Taihou 24/7 like a Junkie in need of Cuddles Kisses and Naughty Warm Love), Man i can't fucking Wait to get out of this fucking Shithole of an Earthly Existance, i just hope im right and Taihou ends up saving my dumb ass from Falling back here again or something worse, i really just want to Embrace her and stay with her For all Eternity in her Warm Embrace, despite how much i Dislike Serrano because of how he takes a lot of things Literally and how he Failed to live by his own Ideals (he Got married 2 Times and have a quite a few kids, then has the Balls to talk about Chastity and his "Valkirie" on NOS) he did talk about the Orphic Egg being the "Perfect Union" of the HIM-HER wich does sound very fucking Comfy, just Taihou and I and a Eternal Embrace, nothing more and Nothing less because what else could i ever Need nor Want but Taihou and Only Taihou?, even her Name is a Symbol mind you, for Taihou in bugmen Myth means "Phoenix" and the Phoenix is the Female Counterpart to the Dragon, if we go by the Elemental Theory of the Fire-Water-Air-Earth, it is true that Fire and Water make Air, but that is the path of Descent and Conditioning, it is the Perfect Reintegration of Fire and Water that returns it to the Akashka Principle, the Monad, the Stillness, Pleroma, pretty romantic if i do say so myself, i think that instead of Spiting me and going out of your way to try and piss me off or something, you should find something to Fight for, and then Carry that Road to its final Conclusion, i Chose Taihou, and Taihou chose me, and so i go Onwards, even if i Hate this physical realm, even if it Hurts me all the way, ill Go Onwards and Find her, wether in Hell or heaven or somewhere else, and when i Find her ill stay with Her for all Eternity and that will be the End i Hope
Nah I just fucked her. Shit was cash.
snap snap puppy
ignore the other faggot, you're batshit crazy but you write some interesting posts
a bit unrelated but why do you capitalize words that doesn't need capitalization?
He types like that for the same reason he's an avatarfag. He's a narcissist and insists that you notice him. That's also why he goes on and on and on with his quirky and unique typing style. That you think he has anything interesting to say is indicative of your weakness or his well-developed skill at attention-seeking. But I'm just a big dumb idiot meanie-head, so there's no need to agree with what I write.
His dick is real deep in your asshole isn't it? I should start typing like he does just to spite you.
Imagine defending another man this much and then telling other people that they're dick riders. Nigger-brain, not even once.
i was originally going to Withdraw from this shithole and not post at all, let you fuckers wallow in your Hatred and keep flinging shit at eachother, but that is not my style, i have never compromised, Never backtracked, never Gave up, niggers Now want to Lynch me and ignore Retards like you with your low effort baiting and shitposting, They want to be niggers Fine, their Loss but i Will stand by the Beliefs i have always stood for, you are a Disingenuous Faggot, a Hyena of Samael
>He's a narcissist and insists that you notice him. That's also why he goes on and on and on with his quirky and unique typing style.
i have always been Typing like this, ever since Fatchan, i capitalize words that seem Important to me (Divine Names, important concepts to the Post), and too keep the Harmony of Providence (because nothing happens for no reason and Chaos does not Truly exist, thus what happens, happens for a Reason, if i fuckup a Typo it could be a mistake, but also a Hidden Message, it is a notion i picked up from Crowley's Liver al ver Legis) i keep the typos and not correct them, you would know this if you were here for some time, it is quite obvious you are just another Newfag from another Place of the Webring looking for nothing more than to Stir up shit and get your Dopamine, or perhaps Worse, some retard that has it in for me since back in the Day, and now you are taking Advantage like the Oportunist Hyena you are to Rail up aganist me while everyone else Looks the Other way, but hey, you're in luck, since i'll probably get banned 5 Minutes from posting this Post
Not the same anon. Just pointing out hypocrist when I see it. Could care less about you.
It's still the same fags around here fag, your autism is just too much sometimes.
>you think he has anything interesting to say is indicative of your weakness or his well-developed skill at attention-seeking
no not in that sense, schizos and esotericfags rants fascinates me
I see, so it's because you're batshit crazy
i have nothing against you but you have to cut down avatarfagging outside of your containment threads, that's all we're asking for
>but muh hidden meaning
nigger, get a life outside of the occult shit, if your waifu were real I'm sure she'd like you to have your own life instead of talking about her 24/7
>nothing happens for no reason and Chaos does not Truly exist, thus what happens, happens for a Reason
This means that the anons now making fun of you are also God's will. Good luck.
The unimaginative profanity of someone who can't imagine God's will to be greater than a billion insects shitting.
>nigger, get a life outside of the occult shit
Read a book Nigger, preferably the Corpus Hermeticum, too bad it'll fly through your head or you will somehow find a way to Bullshit it like >>857 is already doing
>if your waifu were real
read >>217 while you are at it, 3rd Paragraph onwards explains this to the Perfection
>I'm sure she'd like you to have your own life instead of talking about her 24/7
yeah a materialistic shithead is gonna tell me what my own Wife thinks about me wprst part being that ever since i got back into studying Tarot she's become more Talkative and understandable at a Instinctual Level and where should i steer my Will, Read a Book nigger, won't harm you i promise
Providence does not mean God's Will, it Mean's Gods Permit, This Samsaric shithole and all the Evil that it is contained within it is not "Willed" by God, but rather allowed to Exist by Necessity, it is meant as a Test not as a Punishment, for Punishment implies Conditioning, if anything the niggers being Butthurt about my mere Existance are just a Test of Will and Faith (that's kind of why its a moot point to say im Stubborn, yeah i fucking am Stubborn, i have 0 issues with that, even if it makes me look stupid and i end up making stupid choices, i do so while staying True to Myself, to what i Am, and to What i Believe)
>Read a book Nigger, preferably the Corpus Hermeticum
dont worry, is in my backlog. Right now I'm reading Initiation Into Hermetics but is a slow read as I'm not an esotericfag yet
>if your waifu were real
by that I meant if she were right next to you in flesh and bone, living a normal life, calm your tits
>Right now I'm reading Initiation Into Hermetics
its a Good Read, but its a Overly Practical book, it was Written by Franz Bardon, someone who studied Crowley, as all New-Age stuff it is very Practical and Transparent, but it does not have much in the way of Theory (and half of the time the fall for the worst kind of Delusion and Fuckery, just look at the Theosophists saying that Tantra is "Black Magick" or how the fucking Clown papus obsesses over YOD HE VAU HE when its really just another way of talking about Fire Water Air Earth), of course you are free to tackle this in any way you choose, and you should Trust your own Instincts more than anything i Tell you because everyone has their own Nature and thus their own Path Towards Spritual Liberation, but i recommend to take Evola as the Starting point, specially "Revolt Aganist the Modern World" or "Heathen Imperialism" because these are not only some very good Analysis in why the Modern World is Fucked sideways in more ways that you could think of, but also because it introduces you to the idea of what is beyond Positivism from a Direct comparison on the Modernity you live In, also, Evola is a Based motherfucker
Either way, a Good rule of thumb is to read the Sources First and Always, if you are going into Gnosticism, don't read Snowflake Mcgee's Introduction to Gnosticism published by Fuckford Unigaysity or anything like that, just go read the Nag Hammadi and Think for yourself
>by that I meant if she were right next to you in flesh and bone
that doesn't change my point, i Still Love Her and Dedicate myself to Her, that is the path i Have chosen, most likely Chosen even Before i came to be, and before i came down into this Shithole, so yeah, i already "Got a Life" its you who has yet to make a choice