>>1761 (OP)
>Mullholland Drive
>Pretentious bullshit that never tells an actual story
He does tell a story in Mullholland Drive, as well as in his other movies. But similar to Stanley Kubrick, you have a surface narrative and a deeper level. For example, The Shining on the surface level is about a man who kills his family in spoopy ghost skellington hotel, but the film also discusses the killing of native americans, as well as a more deep understanding that Jack is sexually abusing his son.
However, Lynch is a lot more convoluted in his storytelling where it just seems like he's jumping all over the place in tone and in story. So while you could enjoy The Shining without "getting" it, I find Lynch's films are for the guy who's into art movies or weird films. The only exception, for me, was Twin Peaks. It has a deeper story, but it's not insufferable to watch if you don't want to decipher clues.