/v/ - Video Games

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I’ve been playing some of that Lethal Company with all its lack of moderation and my go to standard for anytime someone is shocked by someone spamming something racist is “I can’t believe he said the NIGGER word”. Always gets at least one laugh. Been enjoying all the dumb situations in it but can’t think of any. 

Can’t think of too much else thats recent aside from playing foxhole with a few people, stealing most of a friendly train, and proceeding to act as suspicious as possible anytime we interacted with anyone. We nearly crushed someone with a storage bin when they started asking us questions and claimed it was accidental.  I know at one point another day I ended up behind enemy lines without any of the tools for fucking about or theiving so I just found some pallets of metal beams and sandbags and proceeded to block as many roads as possible. Pissed one particular person off CONSIDERABLY. We also got into a civil war at one point when some russian group lost their base and tried to claim that a group we knew were hoarding rare resources despite them being very public and friendly. All they wanted was to take it over. Only caught a bit of the ensueing BLOOD FUED but was fun

Once in Planetside 2 before wwew and before guardians of the galaxy movie came out I had a character on a different server named Star-Lord. Seemed appropriate as I liked the dual weild pistol jetpack option and just finished reading the good comic run. I ran into someone on my team named Lord-Star and we just stared at eachother before quickly becoming friends for several weeks.  Wholesome as hell.

Towards the end of Halo 3's run if you were playing big team battle most of if not the entire losing team would frequently ragequit before the end of the match. One time this happened and I was the only one left and the enemy team was full, but instead of everyone left abandoning the game we all kept playing. I managed to turn it into a win for my "team" since I was fairly adequate at the game and it's harder for the enemy team to score the 15 or so points that were left for them off of one guy. That shit was fun as hell though, I had to sneak around a bunch of people in vehicles looking through every nook and cranny for me only to get hit with one of my rockets or the laser.
I know Halo in general gets a lot of shit, but 3's multiplayer could be ridiculously fun.

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Don't think I've played a single multiplayer game where I haven't been playing with anons in the past 5 years.
I don't mind it personally, but in that regard I don't have all that much to share either.
>>228522 (OP) 
>download a trainer that allows me to turn off the in game virtual circuit limiting walls
Wew lad. Does that game play on listen servers? Does it not have any form of anticheat?
>be playing some other survival deathmatch game wtih no teams
>one of them is a grill
What were you playing exactly?

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>playing GTAO
>full of niggers, mexicans and russians constantly chimping out and killing everyone on sight in their obnoxious riced cars
>just logged on, got into a public session and I'm just riding a bike to my garage to switch to another bike
>while on my way there I happen to cross another biker going the opposite way
>I honk during that split second we cross as a friendly gesture
>shortly after I get to the garage, swap bike and get out
>find the bike guy waiting for me outside in ghosted mode (can't attack, be attacked or start activities)
>through honking, pointing at each other and not drawing weapons we silently understand we're both friendly
>we start doing some activities together, driving each other around, swapping bikes and such without a single word in chat
>eventually, after some 1 hour of fucking around together the silence is broken and we start chatting
>I help him with one of the seasonal events and other shit
>he types in broken english and uses lots of :3 and :DD XD :) :)
>turns out he is from the czech republic and he is actually a she
>after close inspection I realized she was using a female character all along and I never noticed because she had a mask on the whole time and I never really paid too much attention
>I'm inclined to believe it's not a tranny since there can't be many of those in the czech republic, what are the odds
>we keep playing for a couple hours and I think of adding her to my friends but never do because I can always do that later
>eventually we go back to my garage because I want to switch cars again
>just before I go in she asks "do you have discord?"
>"no, I don't" I reply in chat stepping in the entrance marker and figure now is probably a good time to add her on the social club
>loading screen takes longer than usual
>it fucking got stuck
>keep waiting but nothing happens
>search my memory for her id but I can only remember half of it and it's just a popular first name, even though I'd just seen it not a few seconds before god knows how many times
>I can't fucking remember
>look up for ways to find players you've recently played with online
>there are literally none unless you're a consolefag
>look up the one half I remember on the social club 
>endless wall of gorillons of results, no way to further filter it
>scan a few hundreds of names regardless hoping reading it again would light a light bulb
>it doesn't happen
>reroll a few more online sessions hoping maybe we get matched again
>nope
>gone forever
I am upset to the point I had to type out a post about it, but I wonder if I'm that upset just because she was a girl, or at least thought she was, and if I would've felt the same way if it was another dude instead. I went looked the part of her id I remembered a second time and added a few potential matches in desperation.

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>>230541
>because she was a girl
"She" used discord, so obviously not a girl.

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>>230541
>claims to be a girl
>uses female character
>invites you to discord
That wasn't a girl anon

>>230551
>>230545
>girls literally don't exist
>every girl on the internet is actually a tranny
>no girls use discord
>no girls use female characters
this is the mental gymnastics akin to "if you hate spiders you must secretly want to fuck a spider", you guys have been buck broken

>230556
Check out this spider fucker over here.

>>230556
stop fucking spiders

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>>230541
>cucked by Loading Screen Simulator Online™

>>230556
I hope you're baiting two-legs

>>230556
>you guys have been [gay porn fantasy invented by a schizo nigger]
>you're delusional!
I'm not sure you're making the point you think you are.

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>>230556

>>230568
You telling me you wouldn't fuck a spider if she made you dinner and married you?

>>230570
Remove the post-coitus murder and add a frilly white apron and you've got a deal.

>drinking with a few friends
>we're getting pretty drunk
>two of them decide to play COD
>COD's gay as fuck but i'm not going to be playing so whatever
>they get into a lobby
>there are two faggots on mic going on about how something or other is going to 'get them so laid bro'
>get the headset with a mic from one of friends who's playing
>just say 'virgins' in a drawn out mocking tone
>they start chimping out
>just keep repeating 'virgins' in the same way every time they say anything
>asshurt intensifies
>repeats until right before the match starts they start threatening to trace my IP and presumably kick my ass but it gets cut off when the match starts
>laugh, give the headset back and go get another drink

>driving my stuka to the target area
>it's covered by low clouds
>how the fuck am I supposed to aim
>decide to drop the bomb blindly and just get back to friendly airspace asap
My bombs didn't hit any ground targets. However, it just so happened that a player on the red side had just landed and my bomb hit his plane, awarding me with a "kill". I hadn't remembered that the target was an airfield.

>>230545
>>230551
There are girls on Discord, or at least girls that use Discord at the urging of some third party who proceeds to turn a friend group into the most mindless nigger cattle while you can only watch as everyone around you is corrupted beyond recognition.
In other words, he probably dodged a bullet.

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Played the half life 1 campaign on Sven-coop with about a dozen or so 2hu fags. This was way before the actual HL1 coop update. It was a shitshow from start to finish and the whole campaign took about 3-4 hours. If we weren't kneecapping ourselves with tomfoolery we could've finished it in 2 with how quickly we were going through some of the levels. I don't have any other webms and gifs other than this one unfortunately, but it should give you a rough idea on what herding cats is like. The section with the tripmines and nuke was painful. Without fail someone would fuck up their jump and trip a mine, or someone would just blast it for shits and giggles. We still had fun and took it easy.

Another time I was playing Star Citizen and some paypig whalefag hops on in his 890J ($950 ship) and declares over global chat that he's hosting a brawling tournament in his dining room and that there is free beer. I am the only one who showed up and received a beer and the default credit prize. After that he and his buddy forgot about me and I wandered about till I found a functional chess board. I stole it and ran out the airlock with it, I was seen and a moment later the second dude got in his little M50 ($100 ship) and attempted to flatten me on the landing pad as you can't fire weapons at stations or cities. I avoided this by hiding under a stairwell and tossed the board into my local inventory. What followed then was getting flattened by a smaller bike that could fit into the stair cubby, getting drug out, looted, overdosed on opiates, then tossed onto a C8X Pisces Expedition ($45 ship), revived, then thrown out the back and marooned on a nearby desert moon. 
They never got their board back.

>>230591
That's actually a myth for the most part. Only certain species of spider do that and we only do it if we're hungry.

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>>228522 (OP) 
Probably has to be the one time in  cs go in silver that I randomly qued up and ran into a bunch of guys acting silly
>We joked around for a half hour
>in the middle of  it all we joked around Shaggy raping Scooby-Doo which I  could barely breath after
I don't think there has even been a half hour even as funny as that for me in games ever
cs go had some wild moments in silver including a guy who imitates a gay ghetto pimp

I'll miss that game  and CS2 is practically unplayable at the moment because of all the cheaters

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>>232996
>Missing CS:GO

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>>233020
At least it's not console shit like gaypex or gaylo

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>playing alien swarm
>there's a bunch of chink lobbies for some reason
>join one
>"taiwan number 1"
>they votekick me

>>228522 (OP) 
Absolutely hilarious OP! Wonderful humor!

>>234655
What are you being sarcastic about you cunt? That last bit about NFS was pretty funny if he managed to pull it out.

>started palying goy blunder autism battels mode
>flying 190 D9 because I'm too retarded for Marseille-style ebin snapshots and instead LARP as Erich Hartmann
>map has thick clouds at medium altitude
>fly above the clouds because low altitude BnZ=bad, but can't spot anyone
>there's a guy on the enemy team racking up loads of kills in a Typhoon Mk.II
>dive below the clouds in the center of the map
>huge furball
>zoom back up, go for a second run hoping to find a damaged plane or straggler in a low-energy position
>while in the clouds a plane suddenly right in front of me
>inverted, probably looping or Immelmanning and thus slow
>instinctively fire all guns at point blank range, plane dies
>it was the guy that killed 60% of our team in less than 5 minutes
>our team's remaining players manage to wipe out the enemy team even faster than the Typhoon guy did ours somehow and win the match in spite of being grossly outnumbered
Never underestimate the power of the cloud in a time when most fighters didn't carry radar.

>>228522 (OP) 
back when I was like 17-18 I had a gf and we would play borderlands 2 online with her. after I I unlocked enough skills to finalize my build I basically started 1 hitting every enemy and fights would be quickly over, which meant my gf, being a woman, thus with the brain of a small child would just be bumbling about barely doing anything and that angered her to the point she said that if I didn't let her kill some stuff she'd stop playing with me. at the time I bitched out because I was desperate for company, but thinking back to it, it's kinda funny. women ruin everything.

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>>232996
><some bitch that added me> invited you to play
>I've had enough of playing other game and I guess I've got time 
>accept
>4 out of 5 party in the lobby
>sorry, we're actually waiting for 2 friends they went to eat
>but you invited me
>yes, but they were faster they're with us on discord 
>if they were faster should've been here before me
>leave and go piss
>come back to a notification
>she invited me again
>we can play one with you
>delete her from friends and block her
No one treats me like that.

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>play synthethic
>some guy in chat asking for coop
>join his room
>guy barely knows what he is doing
>me on the other hand already beaten the game at 220 with all the challenges done
>still haven't done a full loop yet
>decide to play with him at 140%
>ask to chat with mic
>don't want to, but do it anyway
>play around and shitpost in real time
>have fun
>add him as a friend
>go to his page thingy to see what games he has
>get greeted by a furry picture of a lizard
>mfw

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>>235935
Local anonymous is surprised to come across a furfag on the internet, proceeds to write a post about it. More news at 8pm.

>>235936
It was the first time it happened.

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>>235538
>I unlocked enough skills to finalize my build
>I basically started 1 hitting every enemy and fights would be quickly over
>my gf would just be bumbling about barely doing anything
<don't explain to her why you've got an advantage on the game
<don't suggest her builds she could try out herself
<skimp over any game mechanics that would've made her think you were smart
<blame her for her ineptitude instead of using your KIDASS knowledge to get closer to her
Give me your girlfriend.

>>235944
Anon, you are implying that his female would understand anything that goes beyond point and click.

>>235950
Isn't boardermemes massively braindead already? Then again it was a women and a teenager at that. You're lucky if you can find one that can count all of their fingers.

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>force myself to play cawadooty warzone because extended family wanted me to they all faded out of it by the time i unlocked an actually fun (fun in the sense of finding a not-so-shitty nugget in a pile of shit) riot shield + tonfa + throwing knife build because i like going fast
>really just grinding levels to get what i want on the most casual modes, trying to reach some objectives that net you more shit than just killing people
>because yes, in a fucking multiplayer head-to-head FPS game, you have to actually grind your player level and grind your gear just to get the sets you want, it's shitty and i do not know how anyone tolerates it
>get 2 spics with 9 gorillion ping on a roof shooting at me, hitting my shield nonstop
>i can't hit them worth shit with the knife, they can't kill me because i'm staying behind my shield
>but the objective is right there
>suddenly i hear
>TORO, TORO!
>oh god dammit just shut up
>go for the knife again
>they both gun me down the nanosecond the shield's down
>OLE!
<some other time 
>driving as fast as i can in a fuckhueg vehicle because even as fast as i go on foot with the tonfa, the fucking shit game has aim assist for any controllerfags, so fuck being exposed
i could actually go on about that aim assist, such as aim assist actually being BETTER if you're low-ranked, and your aim even without aim assist being shakier if you're having a good streak. anyways
>drift around the corner and go into an alleyway because some fags were hitting me anyway
>somehow it fucking fit
>suddenly
>AAAAAAA-
>hear a kid screaming into his microphone, a crunch, then suddenly cut off
>look behind me
>i had somehow managed to fit that huge fucking truck in a tiny, dark hallway, drove fast, and completely cornered a poor guy and made him roadkill almost without even knowing it
>realized that proximity chat is the funniest thing you can possibly have when you're suffering in a shit game 
i am glad that my family stopped playing this trash when activision finally managed to do shit so bad that even normalfags can't tolerate it, but i do hope i'll find another FPS that'll allow me to do silly shit like that at least. i'd even introduce 'em to battlebit remastered but most of 'em are consolefags

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>>235965
dude, you didn't get normal spics, you get andalusians, the worse subhumans of all.

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>>235965
>Touro Touro
>OLÉ

>>235965
>force myself to play cawadooty warzone because extended family wanted me to
Same.

>>235935
Was he doing weird furry bullshit while playing the game with you?
Personally if someone has stupid profiles but doesn't act like a nigger I just don't worry about it because whatever weird shit they get up to with others has no effect on me. I'll drop everything and ghost them the moment I hear imitation animal noises or thinly disguised fetish talk though.

>>235970
>haha it would be so nasty if you farted on the mic hahahaha like a real loud fart hahaha i bet it would stink really bad hahaha don't do that anon hahahaha

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>>235967
>calling Andalusians subhumans
>preferring panchitos over white people
What are you, catalonian?

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>>235965
>suddenly i hear
>TORO, TORO!
>they both gun me down the nanosecond the shield's down
>OLE!

>>235971
Prepare to get ghosted BOO

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>>236065
>What are you, catalonian?
I don't consider them to be human, to begin with.
>preferring panchitos over white people
I need to find a worst word to call them, because subhuman is still human, just a lower tier one. Maybe monkey will be more appropriate.

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>>236104
Motherfucker you don't even know whether to use worse or worst in a sentence, am I supposed to believe you're an übermensch who gets to decide who's a subhuman and not?

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>>236134
of course.

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>playing Payday 2, because I will never stop falling for the sunk cost fallacy
>playing with a slav of some sort
>trying to get an achievement, he keeps cucking me
>oh you want to be a fucking nigger about this, huh
>immediately pull up Jewgle Translate and translate "ukraine will win" into Russian and "russia will win" into Ukrainian
>get a cap of the last thing he says right before I'm booted
>translate it, it's "fuck you"

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>>238090
>translate "ukraine will win" into Russian and "russia will win" into Ukrainian
Doing both sides of the spectrum to reach the widest audience.

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>playing goyday 2
>"CommunistCat She/Her has joined" 
>check profile https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199060499526 
>tranny flag
>type in chat 
>is anyone here acquainted with the acronym YWNBAW
>instantly replies
>lmaoooooooo
>ur so mad
>im a WOMAN pookie :)
>reply again YWNBAW
>my game freezes not 2 seconds after that and have to reboot
Are there mods to cause other players to crash/freeze? I'm aware it might've been random especially since the game is prone to crashing and my setup is jank but it seemed too well timed that I call the tranny out and I get booted

>>240751
I guess the game needed to dilate.

>>240751
There's probably some shitty mod out there for people who want to crash someone's game
wouldn't be shocked since how  god damn dogshit payday 2 is