I understand many Anons around here have shit family members, annoying neighbors, and other prevailing maladies of the like that makes one's living beyond unbearable, vent about it and share experiences, at any rate excuse my selfishness since the only reason im making this thread is so i can vent about it, and this subject is specific enough that it could warrant its own thread
ill get the ball rolling
>My room is located in what used to be a Garage
>Its Split in two by a drywall because reasons (most likely my "Mother"'s retardation)
>The retards who placed the drywall wall didn't build it all the way up, this means there's nothing between the beams, making the Drywall redundant because noise travels through the holes between the beams
>For almost a year im left alone there, have to deal with the arbitrary intrusion of my "mother" from time to time, but it is mostly silent and cozy, more than i could ask for
>My "mother" gets the great idea of turning half of my room in a office
>She has plenty of space elsewhere, my step-dad is loaded and has plenty of properties and spots, but she chooses to place it in my room anyways
>Have to move all my shit into the other half
>I barely have space to move
>I have to literally move the chair in order to open the wardrobe and similar other logistical disasters
>The office was meant to be a place for me to work, long story short i was supposed to work with a business associate of my step-dad, wich ended up being a load of bullshit and a underhanded deal to have a company subsidiary under my name while he manages it and i work for him at a warehouse
>Their bullshit collapses because Corona-chan (Thanks for saving me from wageslavery Corona-chan!) but now the office is converted on a Literal warehouse
>The other half of my room is now filled to the brim with boxes, day in day out niggers will go to deliver or drop boxes, >Remember how i said the beams have holes inbetween them? exactly, everything they do sounds as if they are in the same room even if they are not, i can't count how many trains of thought, reading sessions, or just straight up being unable to sleep because of loud insensitive retards with no care for silence and no situational awareness
>Now the warehouse is no longer a thing, because my "mother" hired my "brother",
>Now he lives in the other half
>The momentary interruptions by niggers have now become a 24/7 cacophony of my "brother" screaming at his stupid Assfaggot games while on dicksword calls
>Every second im not wearing my foam earplugs or my headphones all i hear is *click*click*click* from his mouse while he's destroying whatever was left of his neurons by playing Assfaggots all day
>My room is permeated by the constant smell of cigarettes because the shitstain is a chainsmoker, and doesn't even have the decency to open a window, or smoke outside
>The only respite i get is when he is wageslaving since im finally alone, and sometimes if im lucky he'll go to parties in the weekend and stay out giving me the weekend for myself
>No money to move out
>Not enough balls to Kill myself or go Hobo
>My only shot at "freedom" is joining the military since job situation here is Hell on Earth
>Working via caliesthenics but my body is shaping up at a very slow pace, doesn't seem as if i will be able to pass the physicals in at least 6-7 months
>No Future, no Present
at least i have my Waifu tho, so i'll be Ok
cough You can only use that writing style in the esoteric and waifu threads cough
im trying to use non tell-tale grammar, looks like im failing miserably at that, then again talking about waifus and putting "mother" on quotations is also a blatant giveaway i guess, anyways im just trying to comply with the rules you nigger
Ignore him, you're not being a retarded sperg derailing a thread so nobody cares.
Anyway, on topic
>dad dies a year ago
>I'm the only one of his children left at home with mom
>have to clean up all the shit he packratted for years
>have to help repair shit around the house I have no idea how to handle
>have to act like a mediator between my mom and one of my brothers
>said brother is histrionic as fuck and gets uppity if I interact with the other brother at all without inviting him along
>soon the house will be sold so we'll have to move out
>all the while mom is telling me she doesn't want to be a burden and hold any of us back
>while passive aggressively taking jabs at me if I don't spend all of my days off helping her sort shit out
>job is kinda bullshit and I'm tired as fuck at the end of the day
>just want to shut down and leave forever
>don't know how
All I know is I'm not going to live with mom anymore when we're out of the house. I don't fucking hate her, but I can see why dad hated his life for the last few years before he died, having to deal with this shit is absolutely soul crushing. I just want to be entirely alone somewhere forever after this. Already didn't like interacting with people before, now I can't even look at my own family without getting knots in my stomach.
>Parents constantly rearrange who each room belongs to
>because of this the family computer is in the corridor where everyone goes through
>on rent cause parents are stupid immigrants and they want to buy a house that costs 6 digits here (something they will never be able to afford)
>dad doesn't even work
I have no privacy not even in my own room, these psychopathic apes don't understand the concept of personal space. I am a severly autistic neet that will inherit less than $2000 if they die. I would rather kill myself than work i can't stand people. They have taught me not to feel guilty over being a leech because they are welfare scum and now they wonder why i have become a burden. My only hope is crypto
If you're in America you shouldn't feel guilty about leeching at all, fuck this country and anyone retarded enough to think "contributing to this society" is a good thing. I wish I didn't have to wageslave, but outside of deliberately getting fired when I can afford to not work and subsist off of unemployment for a few months all attempts to live the NEET life have ended in failure so far.
Are you allowed to buy things online completely anonymous robot? If so try to get some soundproofing foam to fill up those gaps of yours. The hard part will be getting it to be hele securely in place, but its foam, just cut it so its a very tight fit between the beams.it might help with soundproofing and blocking out the smoke, but if your wall is just drywall then you're still gonna hear goyim gaming in the background unless you cover all your walls.
Most "soundproof" foam isn't actually useful for sound dampening at all. Pic related, it's only useful for echoes. Sound itself will still penetrate it like it's not even there. You'd need to cover your walls in something thick like towels or a carpet to get any sound dampening.
Interesting. I thought there was a kind that does work, they looked like spikes. Something like in the worlds quietest room but less extreme. Whatever, theres always good old puffy house insulation. Pink panther is the one i know of, probably because of the cartoon
Old matresses work well too if you don't mind the space they take up.
The spikes prevent the echoes, but those rooms are silent because they have massive thick walls and a huge heavy door. Industry standard for "sound proofing" rooms in homes is to just add more layers of dry wall and I believe there's some special paste you use between the layers of dry wall that helps a bit.
The spiky foam might help a tiny bit since it eliminates echoes, but the sound penetration is identical.
Back when I was still in school I used to be part of band class and they had these panels up on the walls that seemed to prevent sound from leaking out of the room, you could only tell if people were playing if you were standing right outside the door. They had wooden frames and the middle was full of this rigid "stringy" stuff that was kinda like wood in texture but I'm pretty sure it was something else. I'm trying to remember what that shit was called, it looked kinda like pic related but the center was that stringy shit I was talking about, it wasn't smooth.
>annoying neighbors...makes one's living beyond unbearable
I wouldn't go as far as to say that, but I have no particular love for my neighbours. One is some Indian woman who will just start yelling in fast talking ethnic jibber jabber once or twice a day, probably at her husband. The first time I heard it, I thought it was a meth head on the street. Another is an old man who could have walked out of a 'fat old bastard' doujinshi. He seems to have a short temper so I avoid him. I'm no great neighbour myself, living alone and playing anime music loudly and talking to myself a lot.
I don't care about the morality of welfare, im just mad they are useless retards that can't make money
>>The retards who placed the drywall wall didn't build it all the way up, this means there's nothing between the beams, making the Drywall redundant because noise travels through the holes between the beams
>>The other half of my room is now filled to the brim with boxes, day in day out niggers will go to deliver or drop boxes
Wait, are you living in a converted warehouse or did they try operating out of a residential area?
Anyway, it sounds like your parents just hired to cheapest day workers they could find to erect it. Any decent contractor would have see and brought up the issue. You maybe can solve the issue with a good ceiling (Maybe drop ceiling with thick tiles?). I am whiling to bet they didn't insulate it as well, which would be a problem even with a ceiling.
Did they even get proper permitting for the garage conversion?
Maybe you can convince your "mother" and (((step-father))) to let you patch the walls properly with a decent contractor to guide you.
Have you tried calling a recruiter and asking if they have a pre-training programs? The national guard in my area does that, so maybe that could help you shape up to escape.
Anyway, I didn't really notice how bad my living conditions were until I boarded in Uni and noticed I was no longer considering suicide 24/7.
>Constant noise from step-family
>11pm? On a week Night? WHAT A PERFECT TIME TO VACCUM AND PLAY PIANO!
>Mostly just watching loud tv and talking loudly though
Problem is you don't get a stack from leeching and you (((rely on the state)))
In the correct order: get a wageslave stack, get a nice setup(not fucking rent lol) and then start )))leeching(((.
>live with my single mother and her parents
>grandparents are extremely toxic and constantly pick fights or do retarded stunts begging for attention
>they're constantly bored and don't have a single hobby, not even basic stuff like crosswords or newspapers, their only source of entertainment is annoying other people
>they're paranoid and maintain a high security prison regime, can't even take a shit without them standing at the door and listening for every splash made by shit, and talking about it like it's the event of the day
>apartment is moldy and sucks life out of everyone
>grandparents are very filthy and contribute to the mess
>when they drop food on the kitchen floor they just kick it under the furniture for bugs to eat
>they refuse to shower or even wash their hands
>everything they touch is covered in greasy stains
>they frequently pick their mouths, noses and assholes, then rush to the kitchen, open the fridge and just randomly touch the foodstuffs
>recently grandparents infected me and mom with giardiasis and pinworms
>they're proud as fuck about having parasites and brag about it like children would about their pokemon collections
>every morning mom gets into a heated argument with them, about basic hygiene and spreading parasite eggs everywhere
>too sick and weak from mold poisoning and parasites to even consider going hobo
>no health insurance and no neetbux in my country
wew, I wonder if they got some kind of behavior altering infection at some point that causes them to revel in spreading filth, sort of like how toxoplasmosis makes people hoard cats.
How frowned-upon is elder abuse where you are? They shouldn't be too hard to beat up.
Don't go too hard though, just give them a kick to the back of the knee (making them kneel) everytime you see them doing disgusting shit, maybe a middle-school-style slap to the back of the neck too.
I have no qualms about physically punishing family-members when they act like niggers, but i understand most people never had to put their own mother on a headlock because she was going mad and threatening to stab my cat because he SCRATCHED HER FUCKING DOOR, so maybe i'm just too desensitized to care. I've also been beaten and mentally abused by my retarded mother during my entire childhood, so it's only fair i fight back now that i have the agency to.
Sorry if this is a little incoherent, i'm a bit inebriated and increasingly angry.
i agree with you, the problem is that everyone's "family" is different and comes with a different set of family politics, if i owned my house then i would shure as shit slap my "mother" across the face and kick her, but since that is not the case, there's nothing i can do, and if i kick her ass or try to argue with her the rest of the family will turn on me, talking issues with a roastie is never the answer since she will manipulate you and lie to you untill you stop pestering her then never do anything to solve the problem or deny there was a problem in the first place
well i assume its impossible to either convince your mother to kick them out/do something beyond telling them instructions that they are going to ignore, first of all eat as much garlic as you can to treat both the pain of those infections and fuck over the pinworms (i can tell from experience that garlic is good for both of those things, i never got pinworms but i did have similar issues and it helped) if you have a job or any source of income, use it to get your own set of Personal stuff, get your own dish, fork, spoon and knife, get a box or something like that and hide it under your bed or somewhere, and keep your shit in there, if you are gonna shower, use YOUR towel that only YOU will use and clean it after using it, same with cutlery, clothes, etc... even if they keep shit everywhere, if you have your own clean stuff, none of that should affect you, needless to say i assume that those old farts will use your Towel if you lay it around without giving it a second thought, so keep a close eye on your stuff, and never EVER keep any of that on plain sight, if you lunch, you pick your dish, your fork, eat, then instantly clean it on the sink, then back to your trunk, if you can't buy it, steal it from the kitchen, wash it real good, and keep it for yourself, when you have lunch or dinner boil everything you are going to eat, it should kill any bacteria or anything that is there, i remember a good old friend of mine (and this one is someone i still respect, not one of my other "friends" whom i booted out) and i eating a worm infected bag of spaghetti and being AOK afterwards because they all died during the boiling process, same with fruit and anything, i assume you have hardcore privacy issues too so that's an extra layer, again, hide your personal shit in your room, keep them out at all times, go to a hardware store and buy a lock to place in your door if you have to, whatever it takes to keep your room a sealed place, if you can, buy one of those portable fridge thinguies, fill it with Ice and keep your own Foodstuff separate from the household in there
needless to say, a broken Body can heal itself, a broken Soul can't, so keep it together
im gonna be asking for SITREPs because holy fuck yours is not a "Shitty Life situation" but a De-Facto proof of Physical existance being a bad joke, and i really hope you manage to turn the tables enough, one thing is having retarded family members making Life hard and being stuck in a powerless, but survivable situation, another different is being slowly murdered in one's own house
I wouldn't be surprised if that's a thing. Shitskins all have parasites and spread filth and disease everywhere they go. Peasant whites used to be like this too, took some coercion and violence to teach people the basics of hygiene.
My country's political stance could be called boomerism. Old fucks are pampered at everyone else's expense and privileged in every way. If I tried anything like this I'd probably wind up in a mental institution, and this is Eastern Europe, nothing changed since Stalin was around.
Grandparents own the place, my mother would be homeless if it wasn't for them because I'm a result of one of those dumb teenage pregnancies. I haven't thought about garlic, I should give it a try. Thanks for the advice. I should try herbal dewormers too. I remember a robot who got quite dramatic results with pumpkin seeds too.
Poison them. Do they drink a lot? Like a lot a lot? I know you said you're eastern yuro but there are still many ways to kill an alcoholic without causing suspicion regardless of how prevalent your region's alcohol culture is. Just don't lose control and become a serial killer because you'll probably get caught that way.
That'd just put him in jail or at the very least give him a guilty conscience. When i said "middle-school-style slap" i meant a very light slap to the back of the head or neck. The type that just makes you shrug a little bit once it hits.
Severely beating up his family-members would most likely turn everyone against him and make them do even more disgusting shit just to spite him. What i meant by physical punishment is essentially a physical form of saying "what in the fuck are you doing?"
If they're old and doing this kind of shit they're probably obstinate enough to not stop for anything short of death. He really would be better off if they died.
I was given some deworming tincture with wormwood and tansy. I'm trying to have some garlic bread at least every other day too. I think it's getting better because I was starting to develop a dairy intolerance and now I can drink milk again just fine.
My grandma had cancer recently and it hasn't taught her anything. Even during chemo she was chimping out like it was nothing. Their death is the only thing I'm wishing for. Yesterday they were making an appointment for corona vaccine, so fingers crossed. I hope they get the Pfizer batch that struck down Norwegian boomers.
How do you guys deal with pests? Like my life has mostly had just regular bugs you can plan around and don't really do any major damage or anything but lately its moved up to rodents and diseases and I've been getting paranoid about it all.
I don't have insurance or money for an exterminator and I feel like I might lose my hearing. No idea if this is because of the wild life or something else.
Clean your house up, there's no way you're living in a remotely sanitary environment if you have rats and shit running around your house and you're genuinely afraid of catching a disease from your own living quarters.
>be in the democratic arabs republic of islamistan
>shitskins everywhere but thankfully no longer have to deal with them thanks to corona-chan
>holed up at home 24/7
>mosques doing their holy screaming 5 times a day as usual
>notice it's becoming louder and louder to the point of absurdity
>call the cops
>officer tells the imam to turn his 58856 loudspeakers down so people can fucking sleep
>imam justifies it saying he was asked to raise the volume by the residents since they can no longer pray at the mosque (corona regulations) and need to feel in the mosque at home
>says he'll oblige nonetheless
>turns the knob the other way around like the retarded mudslime he is
>primordial screaming in the middle of the night
>call the cops 2 more times to get the retarded fuck to turn his shit down
>now the screaming is barely a little quieter than it originally was
>wish the screaming was turned off entirely but can't ask no such thing lest I get charged with blasphemy
Remember that this will be your country's future if you humor mudslimes.
Another one while I'm here
>notice an old retard feeding the stray cats every day on the block
>think he's a weirdo but shrug it off
>gradually dogs join the feeding ceremony until there are no more cats, just dogs
>not even domesticated dogs but wild "africanized" dogs from the rich desert of islamistan
>dogs increase in number and become aggressive as a pack
>residents get attacked every other day even during daytime
>leaving the house at night is a death sentence because that's when the mutts are the most active
>can't sleep at home either because of the constant barking and howling like nails on a chalkboard all night
>residents constantly ask the retard to stop feeding the dogs but he doesn't give a shit
>can't call pest control because there's no pest control in islamistan
>one resident sues the retard but the case gets shelved immediately to no one's surprise
>call the cops
>"there's nothing we can do sorry"
>can't shoot the mutts myself because only the army and jihadists have guns
>can't leave the house and can't sleep
I'm not one for spreading blackpills but even if we don't humor them they still have control over the country's future at this point. It doesn't help that normals don't give a fuck and keep thinking that their suit and tie overjews know best and have no care for themselves even when the new rules would get in the way of the football, beer, and diseased fucking they need so badly to even breathe.
>they still have control over the country's future at this point
That may be, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try standing against them... Never let them into your circles, teach your wife and kids to not trust them, make sure your family never buys into their bullshit or supports them in any way. That's the bare minimum. From there you can go on to educate those who will listen, and "celebrate" the muslims you see by shining a light on their true beliefs.
They will debate you, with a smile and calmness, claiming that islam is ackshually a religion of peace because so and so and there are only bad apples, don't fall into the trap of debating their "misinterpreted religion" and their "vague" holy scripture because you will get nowhere, and only get labeled as an islamophobe. Instead simply show the statistics and the stories that highlight how they, the muslims, are the real problem "tainting the peaceful religion". How most apples are bad only of their own volition.
Sure, there are good muslims, but those are a rarity who are almost never arabs, which is a very important point because they are the most likely to realize the truth about the cult. And once they leave it, all the bad apples get furious and show their true colors for everyone to see.
I hate when foreigners, especially westerners, just give up when they have so many tools to fight back with. You have no idea what you're taking for granted. People like me could only dream of having half the rights and freedoms you have, even if they are limited and gimped to high heaven. You're not yet going to prison for speaking up and that's the whole fucking point, once you lose that precious right it's game over. So get your shit together and do your part.
I hate how being noisy and wrecking the health of thousands of neighbors is somehow not considered a crime. A few years back the EU was petitioned to do something good for a change and pass legislation for permitted noise levels, especially in urban areas. Many scientists came forward and supplied research papers about effects of noise on health, and ultimately it went nowhere. Can't have the institutions interfering with normalfags' freedom to act like retarded baboons.
The worst part of the Covid thing is that after a while normalniggers went back to their noisy ways. The first weeks of the pandemic was glorious, everything was so quiet, normalniggers were scared for a while. But now they are partying, being retards,etc. God I fucking wish I could be murdering them by the thousands.
>can't shoot the mutts myself because only the army and jihadists have guns
Well, make your own gun.
Nice, have you tried making one yet? I don't have much experience with the tools required
>brother has psychologically and physically abused me since as far back as I can remember
>psychological shit still happens to this day
>I'm a lot bigger than him now though
>found out a few years ago his punches don't hurt all that much anymore
>specifically found out when I was drunk and tried to kill him, his gf and myself by grabbing the steering wheel while he was driving down an interstate
I know the drinking part will rub some of you the wrong way, report and ban me if you want but I'm not apologizing since it was a habit I picked up before /r9k/ even existed and I've since dropped it anyway
>punched me several times as hard as he could in the face
>didn't knock me out only let go of the wheel because I realized I didn't actually want to die
>only kinda sore from it the morning after
>hasn't put hands on me ever since but still keeps up the mental shit
>politics has been added to the mix now ever since Trump got elected and for some reason he thinks I like Trump
>has been making passive aggressive jabs at me for other shit and then doing some fake laugh as if he's just joking
>laugh is kinda like how The Count from Sesame Street laughs
>recently many of my thoughts and daydreams have been specifically about brutalizing him and then killing his gf (now wife I guess) in front of him
>throughout all the years this has been happening he's driven away all of his friends and even our older brother with his fucking attitude
>basically used me as a mental crutch on top of it all
>still acts sanctimonious and high and mighty towards others
Wonder what would happen if I finally just beat his ass and took that crutch he's been leaning on so heavily away from him. I won't kill him and get myself thrown in jail, but I might see if I can provoke him into throwing one of his bitch punched my way again and then turn him inside out since this time I'll be sober and able to retaliate without getting myself killed in a car crash.
>I know the drinking part will rub some of you the wrong way, report and ban me if you want but I'm not apologizing since it was a habit I picked up before /r9k/ even existed and I've since dropped it anyway
In what world is drinking alcohol supposed to infringe on some sort of /r9k/ cultural norm? We literally have a thread dedicated to talking about what you've been drinking.
Learn how to completely cut people off. These are the times where you would do such a thing. And I do mean completely. As in never see him or talk to him again for the rest of your life. No matter how hard it is to get to that place please do so.
Both of you would benefit. You for not having to deal with a cunt and him for not having to deal with a dangerously violent person.
Drinking and driving is irresponsible, self-jeopardizing behavior. Alcoholism and Narcotic use/abuse is extreme normalfaggot behavior. Almost as damning as having sex when it comes to what rules you out from being a robot.
But since he's dropped it really isn't a problem so far as robotdom is concerned.
As for controlled drinking, I don't see an issue. As long as you don't do it in a self-jeopardizing (drinking in dangerous situations, or getting addicted) way.
Though it is preferable to not drink at all as to not risk those things in the first place.
This is how it should be done. I'm a different anon but my brother threatened me with violence 4 or 5 months ago and I haven't spoken to or interacted with him since and don't plan to for the rest of my life outside of the occasional necessity like managing inheritances. It's not even out of hatred for him, I don't hate him at all really. It's devoid of feeling or emotion, it's just proven after years that we can not interact with each other in a productive way so I decided we will stop interacting with each other all together. And we still even live under the same roof and this remains amicable.
I stand to lose nothing from not interacting with people. Once you properly shed any desire to have social interaction every verbal exchange becomes a net loss for you and the other people only stand to gain from getting you to help them with things. Every conversation must be seen as transactional and you must value your time and energy as you would anything, more than anything else rather.
>Drinking and driving is irresponsible, self-jeopardizing behavior. Alcoholism and Narcotic use/abuse is extreme normalfaggot behavior. Almost as damning as having sex when it comes to what rules you out from being a robot.
I'm as straight edge as can be but doing drugs in and of itself doesn't seem to qualify as something that anyone should be banned over, which is the sentiment I take issue with. Doing drugs makes you a faggot, and it is absolutely in normalnigger territory, but it's basically in the same territory as porn. Porn is for normalniggers, but I'm under no illusion that robots don't consume it.
Why I said "almost as damning". I don't think it should be bannable but I think I'm justified in thinking less of a a druggie anon.
Christ I really want to do this before it gets to the point that I rearrange his face, because even though he's easily the biggest piece of shit I have ever known I don't like hurting people, but it's like he's trying to prevent any nonviolent option outside of one of us leaving the general region. It's a truly sick relationship.
Back when we were first on the cafe I remember someone throwing a huge shitfit over a drinking/smoking thread that I got banned in. I didn't know if that particular faggot was still around, but it's good to know I don't have to clench my ass every time I bring up past instances of alcoholism. It's nice to reflect and vent about such things sometimes, though I'm not going to pretend my intake is anything to be impressed by. Even if I was the drunkest man on the planet at some point I'd still just be a stumbling puking dumbass which is nothing to brag about.
Thanks for this. Any model in particular you'd recommend?
I might try making a bow & arrow first though, as it should be relatively easy to make and enough to take out some mutts from a distance. If I'm ever successful in doing this I'll be forever indebted to you anon.
Just cut him off, it will be difficult but you'll appreciate it in the long run. Know that getting violent with him will bring you no catharsis, the emotional pain will remain and now that violence is an option you will start using it more often, and that will never end well... Plus there's a chance your anger will take control and cause him a serious injury or worse, death. Leave him so you can heal.
I'm currently homeless. Can't get much shittier than that.
From what ive heard about history things like foraging for food on the fly used to be pretty normal. If anyone has had to forage to survive how was it? I assume that due to cities and suburbs and farms there would be a lot less places to forage for most people but I thought I'd ask anyways
I used to talk to the homeless people I encountered sometimes. At least the ones I talked to were alright, but they weren't the drugged out addict kind. So, got any plans robot or are you homeless for the foreseeable future?
I suppose in the past it was because armies used to force people to give them food--not so much go picking fruits in the woods or something. I've never foraged though, but unless you know what wild plants you could collect from the wilderness or what animals you could easily trap/hunt/eat, the only other thing that comes to mind is shoplifting. I'd figure an open air marketplace or something like a farmer's market would be the easiest if you have those in your area. Of course I've watched niggers shoplift in convenience stores pretty easily so maybe that'd work if you had the chance. I don't know though; sorry, not much help. Maybe some robots have experience with stealing? Whatever you do though just don't go foraging and end up like that faggot Christopher McCandless.
There is a new gun, which 80% consist from 3d-printed parts and literally everybody can make it. Probably even more easier than Luty.
Here is the video about it:
>I might try making a bow & arrow first though
Cool, make sure you don't leave fingerprints on arrows.
How hard is it to make bullets though?
I live in a pretty much no funs country, so that's a big issue for me. I'm pretty much completely ignorant on gun related matters, but considering how clown world is accelerating more and more everyday it can't hurt to learn about this stuff now while I can.
Stefan Balliet tried to prove that making ammo in a no-guns country is easy, he even tested this stuff before his mission and we can all see how that turned out.
that's been a thing for like a year now
What can you stand to lose from becoming a hobo? Would you miss your computer? Getting killed? Getting arrested? This Summer I'll try to go across my country and see how it goes.
Having an e-ink device is probably the only thing that I think would be super valuable to have so you can always read on a ridiculously long battery charge.
Best of luck anon, don't get fined for not conforming to Quarantine-scam or something. Honestly living in a van/RV seems far better
I probably won't do anything as usual.
Have any of you guys tried cattle antibiotics or cattle parasite killers? I heard they are edible for humans and do a very good job cleaning out the body.
Cleaning out what from the body? The have you been eating that you need to clean out parasites from your body? The most I've done is fast for prolonged periods of time which apparently resets your gut bacteria and you can repopulate them with bacteria that can digest other kinds of food better.
yes i regularly take that stuff once every month. It's supposed to detox your body from all the toxins that's been building up. Given how much shit is in our food today it's a must if you care about your health.
What the fuck. Please tell me you're joking.
Don't know what it's like in your country but homeless people have a constant target on their back. It's quite popular to set fire to their tents and the homeless themselves as well as trash their belongings (tents, sleeping bags, etc), force feed them drugs (gangs have been apparently finding homeless people to force feed drugs for a laugh), serial killers stalking the streets for new victims, or just beat the absolute shit out of them because normalfags consider themselves superior. Not to mention other homeless people are dangerous too, some have links to gangs and others are just so badly fucked up from drink and drugs they are straight up dangerous to be around. Not to mention if you carry a weapon for self-defence the police can arrest you for it too, so enjoy being held captive against your will and force fed 'medicinal' drugs to help 'cure' you. I'm really close to being homeless and I'm absolutely terrified of living on the streets to the point where getting food and shelter isn't my main concern.
I feel like if you're homeless, it is almost impossible to get housed again. Once you're finally sleeping outside like a wild animal, your sense of self is gone. You become someone who is different, someone who is despised and, like you said, an easy target for acts of cruelty. You're basically not even human anymore. Just prey that the sociopathic normalfags will abuse over and over again. And they wonder why some hobos are literally insane. Hell exists; it's called being homeless.
I can't even get a job that pays minimum wage and requires zero skills, so it would be super easy to end up on the streets. I get disability benefits for now, but that could end at any time. The fear of being homeless will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Look on the bright side of it: you're free to go anywhere and do anything with no responsibilities and belongings but basic necessities. And it's kill or be killed.
Its something ive heard a rural anon talk about, if you catch a sickness just take some cattle antibiotics. I do not know if its true
>And it's kill or be killed.
Yeah no, hobos are fair game for anyone to kill, and the killer doesn't really get punished for it. Homeless people are regarded as prey animals by society. All because they can't afford to pay rent to a jew landlord every month.
I will never understand this. Why the fuck are normalniggers so predatory? There are some homeless people near where I live, I never treated them badly, even speak to them every once in a while and give them food or whatever if they ask. I'm not saying every homeless is a saint, but the sheer agression normalniggers show towards them baffles me to no end. It's not like the homeless have any power over them or anything.
Society is inherently predatory, it enables for its member to focus on intra-specific competition since they are sheltered from outside threats, be it natural thanks to technology or foreign nations thanks to the military.
Society is by default composed of macropredators (rich jews, feds, etc) and micropredators (your average normalfag), regardless of their position in the "food chain", they will always attempt to prey on those they perceive as lower than themselves be it for physical or psychosocial reasons, often both are intertwined.
I conjunction to that, their predatory behavior is also precisely fueled by their subconscious fear of the "subhuman", which is materialized as their fear of those who they perceive as lower than themselves to in turn predate on them if enabled to do so (those they call incels, for example).
Thanks le demiurge.
People need scapegoats to offload their anger onto and who will stick up for the homeless? Who will miss them when they are gone? Most people seem to hate them because they see them as inferior and therefore 'deserving' of abuse. Somewhere in the city I live in 2 young women were helping the homeless people when a group of men stood on a bridge began throwing rocks and bricks at the homeless below, shouting insults and claiming that the homeless were filthy and criminals. Even the women were targeted for trying to help the homeless. Human cruelty is truly astounding and knows no bounds.
Showing in-group status by abusing and belittling anything and or anyone culturally accepted as being lower than them, thus solidifying and showing to others their in-group virtue and loyalty. Imageboards do this with faggots, normalfags do this with anyone considered to be the new "faggot" group. I think of normalfags as neurotic narcissists who can't handle ever being considered in any way, either indirectly or directly, associated with those others think are filthy and low, and agreeable people who would follow and accept anything through innocent gullibility and genuinely being unable to understand taking things into one's own hands.
People like to compare humanity to rats but I think a better simile would be wolves.
I think women genuinely fear anyone who has a lower social status than them.
Normalfags are just sadistic. They do it for fun.
Ask again later.
>alcoholic poorfag retard mother who can't keep her legs closed and has no business having kids
>rides the cock carousel anyway and has 3, she does this so they will pay her bills
>I'm the oldest and have to babysit her crotch spawn, one is a literal low-functioning autist that screeches and fingerpaints with his shit on the walls, the other is a delinquent ~10 years younger than me who grows up thinking property damage is prime entertainment
>mother is mostly a histrionic mess that irrationally picks fights with everyone, sometimes physically, then plays the victim the second anyone stands up to her
>have to move constantly, never get to have any friends or normal socialization
>her first guy left her for a stripper, the other two were closet pedos that touched my brother or watched me in the shower respectively
>bullied all through school due to poorfaggorty and general spaghetti, didn't even have internet most of the time
>never taught anything about how to live or pay for anything, no idea how shit works, any attempt to question is met with mockery or an asskicking, don't even know what I don't know, kicked out after graduating regardless
>end up picking a random useless 1-year diploma because it was cheap and I had no idea what to do except "go to collage", as per my only instruction, at least I have the waifu
>have to learn how shit like rent works from scratch, thankfully share a place with a cool old pensioner whose wife and daughter left him alone, nice old guy and helps a ton
>things going okay for a while but rent rockets up out of nowhere and suddenly I have no money for food and need a new job
>do a lot of soul-crushing shitty work in labor and customer service, normalfags are DISGUSTING and I have stories; rent keeps getting jacked up so no time or money to do anything else or use my newfound knowledge to actually choose better training
>depressed as hell at work, but start to SIG regardless and feel less shitty, getting better, start saving some money, shit's finally looking up
>landlord (father of autist brother) gets a new roastie who wants a new house, so he kicks us off the land to build a new house over our home so we have to find a new place in the middle of a deadly cold snap, meager savings instantly destroyed for both of us
>economic recession + needing time to pack = hours cut to fucking 4/wk, probably only enough to pay for the fare there and back, at least an hour by bus
>find a new place and move some stuff in, new landlord flakes out over the holidays and says to gtfo because he changed his mind and wants to live there, barely find a second place, no money so we tow all our shit ourselves in -45C
>new place is okay, though my "kitchen" is just an unfinished basement which I have to supply with a hotplate and the world's shittiest mini-fridge
>can't find a new job anywhere, cut corners to save money by eating shit-tier food, get food poisoning for the first time in my left, down for 4 days, nasty rash and aches, tired all the time, seems I'm fighting off a viral infection
>2/3 of a year later I find something but it means being on unreliable public transport for ~3 hours every day in the worst weather imaginable, not much pay is available and it doesn't even really cover rent, food consists of a sweet potato per day and a lot of fasting, stressed to the point some hair turned white overnight, I'm a fucking mess
>normalfags just want me to work harder, get side-eyed because I can't afford to replace my worn hoodie which is the main thing keeping me warm
>getting thinner and more tired with a lump on my collarbone, can't afford to take even the 1 day per week off I do to go to a medical clinic, they schedule me for a CT scan a year from the date, go to a hospital within a month and the doc asks why the fuck no one ordered a biopsy, I get it done and it's an awful experience in every way
>megacoof shuts everything down and I have no income, that same weekend the doc calls back and says the biopsy result said positive for cancer, have to get chemo in the middle of a lockdown and a recession with limited-time sick pay
>absolute hell; chemo fucks up my eye, my leg, my joints, and makes me tired constantly, you can feel the shit eroding your brain; they can't find my veins anymore after a while and I can't deal with the compound fuckup that is and has always been my life anymore, so I quit early
>doc says I have a year to live if I do, let roommate know he should start looking for a new tenant to co-pay rent with him, he's in denial and pretending it isn't a real possibility but he's going to have to wake his ass up
>sick pay is over suddenly, thought I had more time, didn't notice when it stopped in January since I had a nasty health relapse around that time, now have to try to appeal for some disability pay to give roommate some more time since I can only stay awake 6 hours before needing to sleep again and can't get any work done like this, worried I'll get rejected
>if it happens, I'll just get in contact with that person who does wills at the cancer place and kill myself
I shouldn't have existed. Words cannot communicate how pissed I am that this bitch not only birthed me but did it TWO MORE TIMES. It was the height of uncaring irresponsibility. Nothing good is allowed to happen to people who are born and grow up in these circumstances, it just folds back in on itself and gets worse in every way. No wonder there are so many clueless people and criminals out there. It's a fucking TRAP you can't escape from unless you break the law, and my own dumb fucking moral compass keeps me from doing that because I'm apparently retarded. Anyone who acts like a nigger and starts fucking everyone regardless of who that person is or either of their respective life circumstances, then dares to shit out a bunch of lives to ruin, needs to have their head(s) caved in before they can cause any more misery. The only good part of this entire conscious existence have been some great pets I had (that also died from cancer) and the waifu.
You've had a shit life and it honestly pains me that I have no coherent advice for you since I like to help the anons around here whenever I can (or call them faggots). In a world full of normalfaggots it's nice that we have a place like this to share our thoughts and to converse with each other as people of similar minds and that is a unique connection that I value quite deeply. Just remember that at the end of the day we're all comrades here and that I an anonymous stranger hope that you may one day be well, as meaningless as that may be.
Anyways, I wish you the best robot, and remember to take pride in the fact that you managed to summon up the will to power through all of the shit this gay earth has thrown at you. You're strong for it, stronger than most normalniggers could hope to be, and stronger than a lot of robots too.
After that stupid chemo torture center, I can say with 100% certainty that calling me a faggot would be excellent and more welcome than what you experience there; all hollow customer service smiles and platitudes, or people having to bite their tongues. I just wanted some normalcy. My online homes have always been places like this where getting called a niggerfaggot is the norm. If you'd have done it to my face I probably would have hugged you. You know, like a faggot.
Wow that's horrible I dont even know what to say. So sorry dude.
Fucking hell dude, you are surrounded by evil subhumans.
Don't quit chemo, there is always a chance that it will remove the cancer and when it does the rest of your body will recover. You have nothing left to lose since the cancer would have killed you anyway or you would have done it yourself, but think of the possibility of survival... What if you lived to get the chance to turn all this shit around?
I'm sorry that your life had been like this, you don't deserve such a burden and it's not your fault. Remember that in spite of the circumstances you still managed to remain a decent person and stick with your family, refusing to become a criminal or a predator or a drug addict...etc. You are not a waste of skin, and I hope you live.
He made a good decision (((chemo))) is one of the worst scams around, it destroys the body, permanently and inevitably, with a minuscule chance at combating the cancer (which almost completely perishes when you take into account the random recoveries people have from cancer).
I don't know about any random recoveries but an acquaintance of mine had cancer and was able to treat it with chemo. Whether this is an exception or the rule doesn't matter if anon was gonna die anyway.
I hope it goes well for you. Good luck robot.
Eh. I'll never tell anyone to get chemotherapy or not, it's up to them since each one is so different. My case was advanced and growing quickly enough where it would have easily killed me without firstline treatment (my own personal judgement) and it did shrink it, even completely killed off the one on my neck. The first round alone killed off like 50% of it. However, after 2 cycles (4 treatments) I was at the point where I seemed to be getting diminishing returns on the beneficial aspects while the rest of me was starting to get more damage than what I knew I could recover from between sessions.
All I do is study and autistically follow latest research lines in a bunch of subjects so it's not like I went in ignorant. People panic too much and take an "OH MY GOD FUCKING NUKE IT" approach when they don't need to since less is more with this kind. As not listening to my body got me into this mess, I chose to stop and try to deal with what remains on my own. I needed a bit of help to get it down, and I got it. All that's left was some in my chest. We'll see if I get anywhere after a year, since by then it'll be clear if it's gone downhill or if I've managed to kill it off.
Call it an experiment. I treated the entire thing that way. Got to test out some of my biochem knowledge, even kept most of my hair. If anyone ever needs to get the same regimen, I have tips.
If he has stairs the solution is simply 'a nudge at the top'.
>All I do is study and autistically follow latest research lines in a bunch of subjects so it's not like I went in ignorant. People panic too much and take an "OH MY GOD FUCKING NUKE IT" approach when they don't need to since less is more with this kind.
It's probably worth looking into Laetrile/Amygdalin and the book written about it. Quite strong claims of anti-cancer effect, Mainstream Medicine kike deb000nkers says everything that isn't exorbitantly expensive and costly is bullshit, but you can't rely on them telling us anything useful especially as cancer is big business. Evidenced by shit like:
>"Subsequent results In a 1977 controlled, blinded trial, laetrile showed no more activity than placebo."
>"Subsequently, laetrile was tested on 14 tumor systems without evidence of effectiveness. The Memorial Sloan–Kettering Cancer Center (MSKCC) concluded that "laetrile showed no beneficial effects."
Then letting it slip
>Mistakes in an earlier MSKCC press release were highlighted by a group of laetrile proponents led by Ralph Moss, former public affairs official of MSKCC who had been fired following his appearance at a press conference accusing the hospital of covering up the benefits of laetrile. 
Letting it slip even more(oy vey this crazy scientist was willing to literally lose his job for disagreeing for no reason at all goys!"
>"These mistakes were considered scientifically inconsequential"
Linus pauling and his science team claimed mega doses of Vitamin C cure diseases as well, even cancer. Maybe worth looking into.
There's also a clinic in Mexico which is quite widespread in cancer patients run by americans(bc oy vey alternate treatments has to be illegal goy, you cant even try it!), I do not know much about it but I think it has a very good community reputation for curing people with non orthodox treatments IIRC.
Like I said, studied this shit a long time. I've looked thoroughly into all of those topics and more for many years and do have some things to say on them, but not gonna flood the thread with them. I'm not here to turn this into a discussion about whether chemo is good or not. Just shared where I'm at and now it's time for others to do the same, if they want.
Since this is a living conditions thread, what about you? Are you doing okay, anon?
Nigger don't bring up these fucking coomer zoomer doomer bloomer fucking things you'll make me gag.
I'll remember you.
My city is running out of water, being clean makes me feel okay, brushing my teeth too, now they are cutting it at random times during the day, this morning it went out quickly as I still had shampoo on. Still hasn't come back, it normally takes 8 hours or so.
I didn't know a city could ran out of water, I've lived in a small town all my life and always found the concept of a city sharing their water supply foreign. In my country, most people have water tanks with water pumped from the ground. The pumps are electricity dependent so when there is a power cut you are not going to get any more than what you have stored. Here we can go days without electricity sometimes. If I have to take a shower in those occasions I would just use a bucket and a cup.
I would recommend you keep a bucket with some water and a plastic cup at hand when you are taking a shower.
Our dams are pretty dry, apparently we depend on rain during May and June to refresh the supply, and this was a dry season. They've been saying we're going to run out of it eventually, don't know exactly how it works, I think the gated areas do have their own supply or something like that, their pressure is pretty strong compared to my house at all hours. We also live next to a mountain, pretty poor neighborhoods around us so maybe it's not a zone they care too much about.
We do start to fill up big buckets when this happens, but we can never be sure when exactly, though now it's becoming the standard that any relatively hot week will have a shortage of at least half the week, sometimes it's the whole week, never felt so miserable as when that happened.
I've never had any objectively real problems in my life and I feel guilty for ever complaining about it, seeing this thread.
Words can't express how I feel for you and though this thread is the least of your concern I hope you find content and calmer waves in an afterlife and that this world is some irrelevant waystation.
Your life is so tough and difficult; most people would've given up a long time ago. The fact that you kept going despite all the shitty jobs and landlords is just unheard of. The strength you build going through every day of your life must be your best asset right now. This situation would have made most people descend into crime and theft, but you kept your morals which can only tell me the type of character you are - a good one. You're not done yet! You keep going forward and fight every day like it's your last. I'm gonna send a prayer your way and I really hope you'll beat cancer and start a better life.
When a wounded lion gets cornered, that's when it puts up the most fierceful fight! The lion fights till the end.
How come your image is the opposite direction of the one I've got
it's like looking in a mirror
Shut up fag.
>you're free to go anywhere
Saying that is ridiculous, you're free to what, trundle through the woods? loiter businesses until a cop tells you to fuck off? sit on the street?
>and do anything
What are you going to be doing with minimal clothing and money?
>with no responsibilities
You're constantly required to not attract attention to yourself lest you attract the attention of cops, and you have to struggle to get food everyday since you don't have any money
Consider that you also have to be on guard to not get robbed by other homeless
Why are you implying a difference between normalniggers and the homeless?
The homeless are normalniggers, they live in tent cities with their junkie girlfriends and pals and have the bravery to accost bystanders for cash or rides
They are rejected by mainstream society but are still normalniggers by definition
>in the city I live in 2 young women were helping the homeless
Selfish altruistic fucking whores
They only do this to make themselves feel better, look at me! I'm such a good person helping these poor homeless down on their luck!
It seriously makes me fucking sick seeing disgusting behavior like this, throwing time(and thus money) into a fucking pit by trying to "help" these people
It implies they consider themselves so highly that they feel they're doing "lower" people a favor by assisting them
It's horseshit, absolutely braindead normalfags think BRINGING THEIR OWN SELVES DETRIMENT for the sake of any homeless, poor person, nigger dying of superaids in the fucking congo is a good thing
>Human cruelty is truly astounding and knows no bounds.
It's cruel to your own city/village/area-code to let the homeless linger around when one has the power to force them out
Frankly, the men throwing rocks did nothing wrong, aside from that they probably only threw rocks as a form of sadism and were not thinking of improving their community in anyway
I feel like I'm not deserving of talking about my problems and anguish because I came from a family that barely physically abused me, houses me, bought me a car, paid for my school and makes me homecooked meals so I'm objectively not allowed to complain as they really aren't bad people. It's all spoiled brat behavior and emotions from someone who never knew hardship or seen what objective care is and never knowing my family and wondering if the way I feel is warranted.
I see all of you here with terrible or tragic lives and I get guilt from how good I have it. I feel like I shouldn't come here because I don't fit in, and I've always made an ass of myself especially on the internet anyway and will be ultimately made fun of so whatever. All I can do to "help" is tell you how that makes 'me' feel and talking about 'my' experiences because I'm a narcissist who wants attention and care from people other than my family who unbeknownst to themselves possibly didn't really love me and of course your family will always prefer you and no one liked me for who I was which led to me to other ways to look for attention and how I got into so much trouble throughout my youth with other kids, school and the law.
>because I came from a family that barely physically abused me, houses me, bought me a car, paid for my school and makes me homecooked meals so I'm objectively not allowed to complain as they really aren't bad people.
Sounds like you got emotionally abused instead.
I sort of know how you feel, anon. I have also refrained from posting in this thread because I don't feel like my living conditions are 'bad enough' to justify sharing them here. I have a decent roof over my head, I have clean clothing, a bed to sleep in, and I always have food to eat. There are a lot of people out there who can easily argue that they have it worse than I do, but no one's life is ever perfect. I still have plenty of problems, and you have your problems as well, and just because our problems may not seem as bad as someone else's, doesn't mean that they aren't issues all the same. We do ourselves no service when we disregard our own struggles just because someone else out there has greater hardships. Don't allow someone else's poor lot in life to make you feel as though your own difficulties in life are invalid, because that helps no one, least of all yourself. A problem is a problem and still needs to be addressed and fixed, else that problem grows and makes one's situation worse.
>I feel like I shouldn't come here because I don't fit in
I can certainly relate to this. I sometimes refrain from posting here because I read some of the posts, feel as though I can't really relate, and start to think I don't really belong here. However, I still come back because I realize that although I never feel a true sense of belonging anywhere at anytime, I have more in common with the people here than anywhere else in this world. I'm willing to bet it's similar for you as well. Just keep in mind that all you really have to do to have a place here is to be a robot, that's it. It doesn't matter if your life seems comparatively better than the rest of us, it doesn't matter if you make a fool of yourself from time to time, a robot is a robot. And despite what some anons have posted in the past, there is no rigid criteria for what makes someone a robot, as long as your over 18, still a virgin, and don't obsess over normalfag shit (i.e. roasties, mainstream politics, fleeting fame, etc.) then you 'fit in' as much as any of us social outcasts.
Someone having things worse doesn't make your bad shit any easier. And like >>3139 said, emotional fuckery and neglect are very real kinds of abuse; you can't deny a plant the sun it needs to grow well and not expect it to come out unhappy. The only time you should punch yourself is if you're one of those kids that throws a fit because their parents bought them the wrong color of iPhuck and now it doesn't match your birthday car. You can have all of your basic physical needs met and still live with assholes.
Seems like a teenfag despite being 21 at the time.
I generally lament the emotionally frail. It's likely that his family is simply oblivious to the extent to which he is uncomfortable with social situations and simply think of what they do as "joshing him around". Not that they aren't at some level of blame. However, that man needs to grow the fuck up and make clear exactly where the lines are instead of affirming their actions with a smile like a dumb fuck.
To keep this off topic I have to disagree with some of you. Being sensitive is a terrible thing to be. One should always aim to be as emotionally resilient as possible. This means that if you find yourself questioning the validity of your complaints in life; please pursue that line of questioning and think hard about whether or not what you're complaining about is petty bullshit. And if it is a valid issue do whatever is within your power to solve that issue with a calm and clear head instead of wallowing in shit. And if this isn't possible then the only option left is to try and adapt.
Really anything is better than complaints and self-pity.
I say all of this as a once very sensitive person with some still present weak spots of sensitivity. I also want you all to know I say these things because I truly wish the best for all of you as I owe a great debt to this place for my development as a person.
Fight and become stronger. That's all we can do in a shit world like this.
I've the approach of resiliency but that only leads to people becoming more aggressive. I get angry very easily and I don't like the way I act when I am, and people acting either passive aggressive or confrontational is not something I desire.
I apologize but I don't completely understand what you mean. Do you mean to say that you become more agressive when you try and become more resilient or that those around you do?
Sorry, I meant the latter. And to specify what I mean further, establishing boundaries in my experience works to the degree of how understanding whoever you're interacting with is. If the person isn't understanding then he'll become confrontational over what he probably perceives as an attack to his character and conduct. Resiliency as defined as the ability to affirm yourself and ignore others provocation or careless remarks is useful but it's exhausting and in some cases, like if someone ramps up the perceived conflict due to your actions that stem from this mindset, counter-productive.
Although I'm aware that regardless of my experiences a bare minimum of resiliency is required just to survive.
>I say all of this as a once very sensitive person with some still present weak spots of sensitivity.
I was a faggot. I say weak spots since my mother yelling at me for half an hour and calling me a completely useless failure got to me a few years back. It was a weird situation because it was over some pretty trivial shit if I remember corectly. I got angry and emotional when I should have remained calm. It was a complete failure in maintaining composure on my part.
It was incredibly embarassing once I came to my senses.
I also have some slight paranoia I've been trying to get rid off.
Also fuck you.
It's pretty common for most people in places like this to have been told by parents to toughen up, grow up, get better, stop being X, start being Y, even if the person has no idea how to do those things yet. It becomes a sort of negative reinforcement in these cases because it's missing crucial elements. Being resilient can be beneficial, but there's different ways to go about it and not everyone knows "how". It's also difficult to be so in a healthy way if the structures necessary for its support are in shambles.
The 'depression --> begin feel better --> parents have a concern talk --> depression comes back' cycle is real. Just as asspats aren't universally helpful, neither is bootstrap pulling. It's true everyone needs to work their shit out in some way, though.
The first sentence of your post more or less sums up my childhood. A lot of my dad yelling at me about everything I did wrong, whooping my ass with his belt, and sending me to my room with threats of further punishment. On top of that, he hardly taught me much of anything, a bit about his religion, mixed with some empty rhetoric on how he views life. When he did try to spend time with me, it felt mandatory and intensely uncomfortable. And yet, through all that, he seemed to believe that I would just miraculously turn out normal and successful. Needless to say, he was dead wrong.
Essentially, I was raised to be timid and ignorant, never knowing what to do but always in fear of making a mistake, which resulted in me doing nothing at all because it was safe. Now, I'm working at trying to improve my life, but it's incredibly difficult. I'm having to learn things in my late 20's that everyone else my age has know for a decade or more. Most days it feels like trying to heal a severed limb with a first aid kit, I just don't have the right tools or knowledge to fix the problem properly. It's a very touch-and-go process, but I haven't given up quite yet.
I can tell we all grew up neglected. But since most people's definition of neglect is just "not giving the kid the bare minimum to stay alive", you've got a lot of shitty parents who think they're doing perfectly fine just for meeting that minimum. Or at least that's how mine were. Never bothered teaching me anything, and I don't know if it's just because they were that incompetent or because they thought I was a "smart kid" (just because I taught myself how to read) and would learn everything naturally. All I know is that I'm very grateful to have grown up with the internet. It's no proper substitute for a parent, but it beats flying blind.
Still didn't stop me from having a desolate childhood, though. Turns out, getting treated like shit as a child pounds your self-esteem into dust, preventing you from being able to make friends as a kid and experience all the things a healthy adult did when they were young. I don't even mean "baw i missed out on teen love" either, I mean basic things like having some friends to do stuff with after school, be happy together, make simple mistakes but then learn from. Instead I was kept inside with just video games and an obsolete computer to keep me occupied.
They actually diagnosed me with autism because of how well I fit the stereotype. And that only made shit worse by giving my parents an excuse not to raise me. Any problem I had, they just pinned on this alleged autism. Plus they mentioned it to the school, who started giving me all kinds of "help" that only served to single me out and open me up to even more bullying. I'm convinced that the reason autism rates are so high is because of lazy doctors. They'd rather diagnose kids with a developmental disorder than spend the time looking for signs of abuse and neglect.
I always tried to avoid the autism diagnosis. I remember reading about the stories on imageboards when I was young. Most people classified it as a death mark for social life. When the moment of truth came, I just lied my way through the session. Despite all this, they had found something weird in my brain a few years back so I only prevented things from getting worse.
>Any problem I had, they just pinned on this alleged autism.
From this point on, everyone (specially my family) started to treat me like a retard. I managed to get away with a lot of things because of this. I am not saying this with pride, most things were despicable acts. In my case, IBs acted as my moral compass for most of my life.
>Plus they mentioned it to the school, who started giving me all kinds of "help"
It goes without saying that High School wasn't any fun for me and I just ignore it ever happened most of the time. I always kept the diagnosis a secret, but most people eventually found out and their attitude towards me always did a 180 turn. This made me distrust most people to this very day.
Still, this doesn't keep me up at night. There's no use on thinking about that.
By this point, I am at peace with my younger years despite everything I have said.
I wish my diagnosis came late enough in life that I could bullshit my way through it. Instead it happened when I was 9-10, years before I had internet access and while I still had a lot of abusive people in my life making it hell. It took until I was 14, when I finally had consistent internet access, for me to learn what the hell autism even was. Nobody even told me when I got diagnosed. Guess they thought I was just too retarded to understand.
You're right in that it's a death sentence. I imagine that were it not for the teacher's aide in half my classes, the quiet rooms I had to go to every time I took a test (because the near-silent classroom just isn't quiet enough, I guess), and mom telling everyone I'm autistic despite asking her to stop many times, I'd have had a much better time in middle and high school. When I learned about autism I started doing everything I could not to look like a sperg, and while it got the school to stop giving me their so-called help, the damage had already been done. I already hated myself, my social skills were practically nonexistent, and plenty of people already saw me as one of the retarded kids.
>IBs acted as my moral compass for most of my life.
Jesus, same here. Being raised by imageboards (or at least in the 00s) has its ups and downs, I've found. On one hand, you get shown all kinds of faggotry from a critical perspective, making you aware of your own faggotry and helping you dodge some serious bullets. I feel like I would have become a diet Chris-chan without the guidance of other anons. But on the other hand it can make you into an edgy shit that hates everything, even yourself. And I worry for kids that are getting raised by modern imageboards, what with all the feds looking to create a few more shooters to fuel their boogeyman.
>By this point, I am at peace with my younger years despite everything I have said.
Yeah, I really ought to make my own peace instead of lamenting over a past that can't be changed.
Look how I casually dropped how they barely physically abused me like I'm deluded or appeasing their abuse and trying to get sympathy off of that. What can be considered abuse or bad parenting is that they infantalized me by talking down to me or giving me responsibilities of a child while at the same time calling me immature, we never spent time with each other and don't really like them anyway so they have no idea who I am and treat me like I'm retarded but due to being kept inside under watchful eyes I never learned how to socialize, and I was never disciplined to learn something from my muscular handy father while I never mantled up to learn from him either. All with the excuse that parenting didn't come with a manual.
Their biggest crime was plain cow dumbness for being babyboomers therefore are unreasonable and brutish, yelling at me for being unable to do homework and punishing me on account of what the old miserable cunts at school had to say about my "outrageous" behavior so I have trouble with articulation, arguing, and forming thoughts because of that. I'm sure they didn't intend to abuse me and they always financially supported me and have what's best for me (or them) in mind. Maybe I do have some real grievances but I know deep down telling these will out me as a spoiled brat who turned out to be like the people who raised him and I'll get pity for being oblivious and clueless to my privilege because I should get over it. I don't feel anything typing this, I feel I should confess guilt of transparency and honesty despite being faceless and nameless and it's healthy I guess that I don't feel any strong emotions for something like this.
Also I largely come here not really to see how good I have it (how self-aware and noble of me to think of how good I have it to be grateful of what I couldn't!) but for emotional anguish porn because there are no emotions inside me besides rage and sorrow nor any grand life experience besides school fistfights so I get off to people who had a tragic life like they're a surrogate because I have a victim complex I shouldn't have, and pretending I can partake in some sort of camaraderie and also to just hear about other peoples' lives in general because I'm a husk of a person who was forbidden to have one, it feels exploitative and cold but the lives of other people fill me like bread, instead of reading about celebrities I'm reading about anonymous people. I've been on imageboards for years and never settled in, always being dishonest in genuinosity with other people (because I'm dishonest with myself) like it's a subculture and I'm obeying the rules though this is has to do with imageboard culture which I followed and they are explicit about following rules so I took that seriously.
This post is too long, I'll keep having catharsis until there's nothing left of me anyway.