THIS IS WHAT /japan/ ACTUALLY BELIEVES.mp4
UPDATED WEBRING FACTION GUIDE HEHPILL TWO EDITION (MODS PLEASE STICKY)
EPISODE IV: A NEW COPE
THE FOLLOWING IS AN UPDATED FACTION LIST OF ALL FACTIONS FIGHTING FOR CONTROL OF THE WEBRING. IT HAS BEEN FACT-CHECKED MULTIPLE TIMES BY MANY NEWS AGENCIES AROUND THE GLOBE AND COMPILED AFTER WEEKS OF ADHD DRUG-FUELED NEWS HUNTING RAMPAGE.
Mark Mann
Known Jew mafia crime lord. After getting blown the fuck out multiple times throughout the history of 8chan, the fat fuck from before has gotten fired by the pig farmer and ran off his board. Scurried to make another /v/ with blackjack and hookers after realizing that 8kunt is a sinking ship. His fat fingered moderation practices have solely inspired small and large boards alike to get the fuck out. Shilled his board on reddit and twitter. Massive rulekike. Represents nintendrones as he banned everyone else. Claimed to be the embodiment of "/v/" on multiple occasions. Has had an active shooter refer to him in a manifesto and thus a very dangerous player. Remaining adherents to his moderation style are so used to getting their posts jannied that they actively look forward to it.
BOARDS:
>/v/ (contested), /tv/ (contested)
PILL:
>Gold Pill
ALIGNMENT:
>Lawful Retarded
ARCHENEMY:
>Everyone that doesn't own Nintendo Switch.
QUOTE: (new section idea?)
>I AM /v/
THREAT LEVEL: ★★★
ZIGGERS
A small collective of faggots driven off Mark's safe space by sheer stupidity. The nomad tribe also known as shambling remnants of 8/vg/ has arrived at a new parking lot after destroying multiple sites by sheer asshurt alone. Largely rulecucked with a mortal fear of not talking about videogames despite originally being /v/eddit. Ironically, most of the site consists of the same type of absolute fucking rulecucks as Mark's site, some of them being even more vicious in their ways. Known to possess immense hostility towards Mark and Gamergays. Also known to LARP as another coming of Third Reich despite also advertising themselves as a fucking gas station. Seriously. Unlike Mark's board, they make an effort to play video games.
BOARDS:
>/v/ (contested), /b/ (contested), /r9k/ (contested), various contested boards
PILL:
>Blue pill
ALIGNMENT:
>Chaotic Neutral
ARCHENEMY:
>Mark
QUOTE:
>Zzzchan grows ever stronger. Soon we will take over the world. (KC voice)
THREAT LEVEL: ★★
Gamergays
Remnants of a reclining group of armchair activists. After almost six years of gamergay's death, it's corpse still emits a putrid smell. ggrevolt and gamergatehq finished their civil war with both sides bleeding out of users as their gay cock measuring competition grew stale. 8chan explosion and it's subsequent gender change have confined what's left of the sect to threads inside mark's asshole. Some would argue they're even worse than cuckchan as it's been years since they've collectively sent anyone their emails. Now spend time arguing about jewish press articles and watching vtubers. Also known as Acid Man's cattle, as their cult leader is still holding the reigns and is not about to let them go.
BOARDS:
>/v/, zigger /v/ (contested)
PILL:
>Blue pilled as fuck
ALIGNMENT:
>Whatever Mark's is.
ARCHENEMY:
>Latest Vice article
QUOTE:
>If lolicons are pedos then traps a gay. Unacceptable,
THREAT LEVEL: ★
Smug Trannies
A highly trained syndicate of self-proclaimed meidos assisted by an automatic HOIHOI janny murderbot in quote unquote moderating an anime imageboard. Directly responsible for throttling cripplekike's servers and Josh's development of INFINITY NEXT trademark which ultimately brought about the dud's downfall. De facto leaders of the so called "webring" which could be a ploy to harvest IPs directly to chinese party because it has javascript according to tech. Hates freedom, chaos, posting without capital letters, whatever it deems low quality posting at the time. As the most rulecucked faction on the webring, smug is considered to be the most dangerous to post on as it's jannies display immediate response time 24/7. Get a life, you nerds holy shit.
BOARDS:
> /a/, /tg/ (contested), /monster/ (contested), /vg/ (contested)
PILL:
>A fusion of anime and penis pills, worst traits from each
ALIGNMENT:
>Lawful Neutral
ARCHENEMY:
>The /2hu/ collective
QUOTE:
>The wording of rule 7 was made more precise and now reads "/jp/ content is allowed."
THREAT LEVEL: ★
tr00nstream:
An unholy fusion of the weasel's power, foxdickfarms and (((Discord Crew))) into one eldritch entity. After their attempts to take over the webring and institute special snowflake board tech were thwarted by the /v/eddit menace and /2hu/ collective, their current focus tree has been running back to their circlejerk streams on cytube over and over for emotional support. Laughs at e-celebs, but unlike Josh's lolcow website does nothing else about them as everyone that knew how to dox left ages ago. Has a bigger hateboner for gamergays than ziggers, yet can't manage to be more productive than them even on a good day. Secretly wishes /baph/'s BO didn't get arrested because at least they could leech off of them.
BOARDS:
>/cow/ (contested), /tv/ (contested)
PILL:
>Milk pill
ALIGNMENT:
>Neutral Evil
ARCHENEMY:
>John
QUOTE:
>We always win.
THREAT LEVEL: ★★★★
Dolphin
An Australian mammal of questionable intelligence. Talking to him or trying to understand his motives is like playing a game of AI Dungeon. You can get some semi-coherent responses the first few replies but it crashes after that. Declared a one schizo war against the webring, attacking it in any way he can. Sole boogeyman that claims responsibility for many doxings, IP scratchings, terrorist attacks and other acts of internet NAP violations. Used to be allied with the 2hu collective, but has since broken away from that to pursue goals more overtly. Currently he works with the tr00nstream to take out any known or imaginary pedophiles that lurk on the webring. Unfortunately that happens to be every board now so they haven't made much progress.
BOARDS:
>/cow/, /shelter/ (contested), /support/ (contested), various meta threads (contested)
PILL:
>Schizo Pill
ALIGNMENT:
>Randomly generated. He flip flops all the damn time.
ARCHENEMY:
>The Webring
QUOTE:
>STOP CALLING ME A PEDO
THREAT LEVEL: ★★ (By himself.) ★★★★★★ (With tr00nstream directing him.)
Ogreboys
Dwayne Johnson's biggest supporters. The Ogreboys will stop at not nothing to get you to consume his entire filmography. One man stands in the way of progress, but spamming Emma Watson can only get you so far. Soon everyone will either be a "Litty" fan or be exterminated. The Ogreboys really do not fuck around. Rumor has it Gahoole will even declare himself your blood brother if you buy him a single slice of pizza. Obsessed with Dunkacinos™ to the point of fetishism. Tread carefully around their swamp. Currently at war with anime and waifufags.
BOARDS:
/tv/ (contested), /dup/, /dunk/, /cow/ (contested)
PILL:
>brown pill
ALIGNMENT:
>Chaotic Neutral, Chaotic American
ARCHENEMY:
>Poor genetics
QUOTE:
>DUP BTFO
THREAT LEVEL: ★★★
The /2hu/ collective:
Ascended group of ancient weeaboo autists, rabid pack of sokuniggers and a namefag that can't shut the fuck up. Descendants of a long line of noble /jp/ spinoffs, exiled teenbros have evolved into a full grown cabal. Suspected to conspire to take over the entire webring for the good of the fantasy "tengu reich", become a sequel to /intl/, install gensokyo and get a 2hu waifu. Loosely suspected to be an offshoot of goons, the true extent of their master plan remains to be seen. A highly unstable entity.
BOARDS:
> /japan/, /2hu/ (contested), /v/ (contested), /jp/ spinoffs (contested), various unlisted boards
PILL:
>Unknowable, they likely have their own medicine cabinet
ALIGNMENT:
>Unknown, possibly Chaotic Evil. Arcane arts obscure their true alignment.
ARCHENEMY:
>Imageboards
QUOTE:
>We are all merely pawns in a larger game. The difference is that some of us can see the board.
THREAT LEVEL: Unknown, presumably very high. Exercise extreme caution.
The Freedom Front
Various boards of note that are making a last stand against rampant admin abyuuse. A faction resurrected after multiple boards split themselves that has been trying to deliver on where jewt couldn't, dudman didn't and pig farmer qdn't. While there is no formal alliance, these boards have so far mostly rejected the call of the DEL button. Surprisingly, most are winning their game of survival mode. Spee in particular has been largely successful in it's own site.
There are still various forces plotting against them such as an elusive footfag cabal that's been trying to take over what's left of the freedom front. No matter how you look at it, this faction has it's work cut out for it.
BOARDS:
>/sp/, /animu/ (contested), /b/ (contested), /bane/, /japan/ (contested)
PILL:
>heh pill
ALIGNMENT:
>chaotic good
ARCHENEMY:
>overmoderation
QUOTE:
>Take it easy!
THREAT LEVEL: ★
The politologists
After /pol/ suffered a crippling loss of IQ after trump's election, various boards split themselves off in an attempt to preserve total intelligence after realizing how crippled it's become. Now, instead of shitflinging and/or arguing any points of their ideologies on a big political board, they circlejerk without end on their compounds, treating their ideologies as small scale religions and utterly convinced that their version of just cause is right and that someday they'll have their revolution. Harmless and peaceful compared to Q cattle, that managed to execute a fucking mob boss.
BOARDS:
>/fascist/, /monarchy/, /liberty/
PILL:
>Iron pill
ALIGNMENT:
>Ideology dependent, likely Lawful Neutral
ARCHENEMY:
>/abdl/
QUOTE:
> people argue because arguing gets attention and nothing ever gets done
THREAT LEVEL: ★
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