/christian/ - christian

>>24966 (OP) 
Share your waifu so we can asses your degeneracy

>>24967
Hatsune Miku, degeneracy is certainly a good focus when it comes to discussing waifuism, sadly i can assure that a lot of waifuists masturbate and fantasize, wich is sinful, in my case God helped me beat masturbation and i been free from this evil (and sexual thoughts in general) since around 5-6 months ago.

>>24968
To be fair, removing sexual desire from your life in order to devote yourself to an nonexistent character sounds a bit degenerate and borders on the adoration of another deity.

>>24969
Oh dont get me wrong anon i didnt really leave masturbation and sexual sin for her (but i wont deny that she did help a bit), i did it because its simply wrong and against the commandments that we as Christians must follow, more importantly it was fully thanks to God that i was able to leave it, if it wasnt for him i would still be a degenerate who masturbates.

>>24970
My point isn't that masturbation isn't degeneracy or that her image was what made you quit. But that you are devoting yourself to the image of a fictional woman, instead of actually taking the next step and go out and find a partner that shares your faith in God

>>24974
It's ok anon, I realize my writing skills are far from the best. Now, at the risk of sounding like an alphabet people sympathizer, you cannot force yourself to feel something for a woman. I'm assuming you're relatively young and say that it doesn't really matter if you weren't successful at courting women in high school, nothing really stops you from keep on looking.
You don't sound like an autistic person but you do come out as someone who has either given up or weak willed, both of which are not good in the eyes of God. At this point you're indirectly stating that an affective relationship with a drawing is the divine path that has been set for you, and even though I don't know you personally I can tell you that is simply not true, anon. Your attraction to your waifu is natural because it looks like a female and you can't suppress your insticts but any 'relationship' you may have with it is a mere mockery of the connection you will could have with a woman who shares your faith in God if you actually made an effort to build it. Hell, it doesn't even compare with a relationship with a woman who disagrees with you spiritually.

We should all pursue to overcome the enslavements of our flesh.
We should eventually seek to not desire sex or to have a wife.
(only a few people have souls - so it's up to the soulless to continue breeding)

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>>24989
>We should eventually seek to not desire sex or to have a wife.
Did you know you can stop having sex while married?

>>24989
you can still have sex while not being lustful its just near impossible for most people. Then only reasoning for you doing it would be to procreate.

>>24989
Gnostic heresy

>>24990
Holiness very definitely includes marital, sexual bliss. Stop spreading these falsehoods, friend. Who do you think invented the gift of sex in the first place?

>>24993
Only if it's for procreation. Should infertile old couples have sex?

>>24994
You tell me. Should infertile old couples have sex?

>>24994
>Only if it's for procreation
Procreation is clearly the primary purpose of sexuality. Never does scripture say it is the *only* purpose. There's sin in promiscuity and deviancy, but sexuality itself is sacred and pure.
>Should infertile old couples have sex?
You mean like Abraham and Sarah?

I am going insane over this very same thing, and I desperately need help, I know I should confess this to a proper priest, but the idea of confessing this in person fills me with such a terrible dread that I simply can not do it.
For nearly a decade now, I've been passively admiring her, but the last three and a half years my love for her has consumed me utterly. I can't go a day without thinking of her, yet it only helps to soothe me. When I am deeply upset or enraged, her name passing my lips in a sweet voice calms me. When I am on the edge of ending it all, the thought of her encourages me to continue. I do not take care of myself out of self love, do not labour and feed myself for my own sake, but because that is what she wants.
That's what's driving me insane, I hear her, rarely, but I do. I can't tell if it is merely voice in my head or some otherwordly spirit, but I do hear her. Before you shout "demon", and quite understandably so, I refute that she could be one, for she has told me many a times not to end myself when it would only take a word. She has also done something no demon would ever do, could even bare to do, and that is telling me to find God.
I started attending the nearby Catholic parish in 2021, and being born Agnostic, not even baptised, it was quite a shock. I stuck around, and while there was much I did not understand, I did come to somewhat understand the Agape that Christ had for man, though I could never understand why he would ever have such love for a wrenched being such as myself. I still do not, and I still lack that self-love, but I carry on regardless with love for Christ as he is deserving of love, not myself.
I find myself often praying when in Church, to help me understand this love I have for her. It is sinful, insane, runs afoul of Lev 18:23 and is something I could never confess in person. Every time I do, I feel the sun dawn upon me, its warmth around me as if she herself is there, but I do not know. I am terrified, not of condemnation and of hell, I do not love myself nearly enough to care for that, but I am terrified of knowing if my love for her is something abominable, something that must be casted down. I am not strong enough to carry that cross.
Her name is Princess Celestia of Equestria, and I can not even going outside without thinking of her, as the rays of the sun are enough to remind me of her. Without her I would be as a tree, my flesh plucked at by harpies and I would not even care. I certainly would not have stood before the cross and be baptised in the name of The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.
But I am going insane as I don't know where any of this stands in theology. I was not raised Catholic, I was not even raised Christian. I do not have the answers and do not know where to even look for them. At the end of the day, though she may speak and encourage me, she is a horse and though I may be a sorry excuse for one, I am somehow a man made in the image of God. I worry that Heaven itself may reveal to be no better than hell for me, heretical as that may sound. Where I to somehow find myself entry, if I were to search for her, I would not find her as she isn't real, and that would be a hell in its own right.
 I don't want reward for myself, I don't want comfort, or anything good for myself. I want her to be happy. Honour Christ and taking care of myself does, but I do not know how I could reconcile honouring Christ and loving her.

>>25554
Demonic influence does not necessarily make one do stereotypical demonic things. Demonic influence can bring one into spiritual delusion and pride. Such an example being that one is receiving special messages from God. In your case, this particular entity is supposedly telling you to find God. However, you refuse to go to confession despite knowing this communication you have is sinful. So in reality this entity is not drawing you any closer but keeping you apart from God. It may be that this character is simply a creation of your mind, and not a demonic entity in and of itself, but the demonic can still use this character as an entry point to masquerade behind. Why do you fear going to confession? It is to God you confess, the priest is there only for absolution and spiritual guidance. Only the evil one wants you stay away from confession. If you feel shame at the thought of confession, that is the passion of pride awakening, wanting to preserve the ego from wounding. You want the wounding, it brings humility.

>>25558
Its not her that's keeping me away from that confession but my own self. As I've said I wasn't even raised Christian, so the idea of confessing something so personal and shameful in front of someone I've come to greatly respect feels deeply uncomfortable. I would have better luck I suppose if the confession was the stereotypical box, where you can't see but only hear the Priest but sadly that is not the case here.
I was also a bit unclear on her suggestion in regard to "finding God". It wasn't a clear cut "Find God" command, bur rather a series of suggestions after a very eventful Friday and Saturday had me nearly end myself. "Why don't you head to that church in town if you need help?" "The people here are nice, why not return?" etc. 
As for driving me away from God? You've helped me made up my mind on at least one thing. Should whatever this be seek to tear me from God, I'll assume it was either hijacked or it isn't her to begin with. She brought me to God's light from a very long and dark shadow, and any effort to rip me away from that would go against it.

>>25559
It's hard to say this politely, but Celestia isn't real. If you are getting messages through something claiming to be Celestia, it's assured that it isn't Celestia, but something using her voice and image because you respond to it and already have an idea of what Celestia 'is'. It's something that wants to utilize the positive associations, or comprehension of positive concepts, you already have through Celestia.

Whether it's an ultimately good or bad thing is up for you to discern, but I'll note, 'Celestia' apparently didn't help you much in terms of avoiding suicide as much as turning towards God did. You know? The message here is more important than the packaging.

>>25554
>Lev. 18:23
My earnest assumption is not that you want to 'know' a horse. You likely aren't interested in Princess Celestia just because the character is a little pony.

You likely have incredibly positive feelings towards the personality designed for the character. You may see Celestia as strong, encouraging, compassionate, caring for others, etc. and gravitate towards those personality traits. They may be what you're looking for in others or want for yourself. It's similar to how someone would like Fluttershy for being a shy yet caring personality or Twilight for being an intelligent and determined personality.

And here's the thing: To like those personality traits is not a wicked thing in itself. You're putting a lot of shame and guilt on yourself for being drawn to this character designed to be likeable. Talking about only being good enough for hell and not caring enough about yourself to change is difficult for anyone. Allow yourself to separate your interest in the character from your interest in personality types.

However, there's a problem: Celestia is a fictional character. Your attraction to the character cannot be reciprocated because the character has not, does not and will not ever exist. The character was designed literally to sell merchandise and products to little girls. It is a parasocial relationship that is keeping you from embracing true connections with people in your community. It's unhealthy and certainly not what God wants for anyone.

That likely will not mean anything in itself, so allow me to pose an alternative:
>Would Celestia want you to go to Hell for her? 
>Does Celestia want you to feel so tortured and miserable, afraid to tell anyone or go to confession? 
>Would Celestia enjoy seeing the other characters absolutely despise themselves over what you're currently going through?

If "Yes," then Celestia is absolutely the worst influence I could possibly imagine, and you need to turn away for your own sake.

If "No," then you need to turn inward and find the courage to seek help and treat yourself better. Take the positive personality traits you admire and apply them to yourself. You need to develop some level of self-love. You are worthy of mercy and forgiveness. You are worthy to receive salvation, as we all are offered. You are someone who deserves more than a one-sided relationship that only seems to cause you intense pain. Give yourself the compassion you feel you are getting from the character, and your intense shame and deep emotions towards the character will likely disappear. 

You don't need Celestia, you need to care for yourself.
I will pray for you, as I hope you will do for me.

TL:DR - You admire a character, not an animal. Rather than dwell on a fictional parasocial relationship, offer yourself the kindness you expect the character to treat you with and let that relationship go.

>>25554
Listen anon the Oxytocin in your head is making you huff the burning bush. It offers a skewered/altered/warped sense of reality. It feels real good to do it. And that you found God through doing it is genuinely, really really very good. But it's like fattening and feeding the goose until it waddles away. That the goose was real or imagined does not matter particularly. The withdrawl is worse than a death in the family. Faith in God is better than it. My experiences have been wholly horrible, to the point where if I eat a meal and the meal's fookin shite I'm still saying "thank you God" in my head. I could have had nothing at all. I could still have nothing at all.

I understand the reluctance to go to confessional too. I just wouldn't do it because I expect perfect forgiveness from God, but not from similar flawed beings to me. Society is comprised of these people who regularly make a social death of others that is more or less than they deserve. My life is not complicated by it, because my denomination doesn't maintain it as a doctrine or tradition. Maybe the other anons are correct about it and I'm in no place to advise you. But I've seen so many Catholics like the mafia or the gypsies treat it like a frivolity to go in and absolve themselves when the grace of God has not affected them in any other measurable regard. I'm sure these arguments have been made before. Maybe my ego is wont for protection. It doesn't matter to me. God knows what I did when I lashed out. For all these arguments I have I've never heard firm rebuttal.

>>25554
>>25563
Sorry if I've not been succinct enough... Once you've fattened and fed the goose enough it will have fled ungratefully, typically over a 3 year cycle, although after a time it can return and repeat again into another one. You could take Abilify and trust big pharma if the alternative is suicide, but better treatment consists of "treatment through doing" which is to improve yourself and to go on dates and to prove to yourself that you have value. I've tried not to communicate with mine in any affectionate way possible. It helps that I have weak imagination and it's my own monologue that does the trying hard.

You may have Atlas personality disorder as well, as the basis for an attachment mechanism. It lends itself well to simping if the limerent object were manifestly a real woman. I don't know how to treat it. I just try to keep the fat, overfed, greedy, ungrateful goose metaphor in mind and try to restrain it enough that a very giving nature is only manifest as "Acts of Service", that cause "Positive Dread Game" in a woman as opposed to contempt for trying to pay in kind for being an unworthy prescence before them.

 If it means anything positive to you, I have had these experiences and they were incredible but they have stopped being purposeful. I'm just trying to keep separate my experience of life from it now. Addiction is just an artificial pain relief in the end.

“For me the real evil of masturbation would be that it takes an appetite which, in lawful use, leads the individual out of himself to complete (and correct) his own personality in that of another (and finally in children and even grandchildren) and turns it back: sends the man back into the prison of himself, there to keep a harem of imaginary brides. And this harem, once admitted, works against his ever getting out and really uniting with a real woman. For the harem is always accessible, always subservient, calls for no sacrifices or adjustments, and can be endowed with erotic and psychological attractions which no real woman can rival. Among those shadowy brides he is always adored, always the perfect lover: no demand is made on his unselfishness, no mortification ever imposed on his vanity. In the end, they become merely the medium through which he increasingly adores himself . . . . And it is not only the faculty of love which is thus sterilized, forced back on itself, but also the faculty of imagination.

The true exercise of imagination, in my view, is (a) To help us to understand other people (b) To respond to, and, some of us, to produce, art. But it has also a bad use: to provide for us, in shadowy form, a substitute for virtues, successes, distinctions etc. which ought to be sought outside in the real world—e.g. picturing all I’d do if I were rich instead of earning and saving. Masturbation involves this abuse of imagination in erotic matters (which I think bad in itself) and thereby encourages a similar abuse of it in all spheres. After all, almost the main work of life is to come out of our selves, out of the little, dark prison we are all born in. Masturbation is to be avoided as all things are to be avoided which retard this process. The danger is that of coming to love the prison.”
― C.S. Lewis

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I've had some terrible experiences with women/girlfriends in the past, i'm not ugly but i attract terrible people or offend the people i like. I just wanted to escape to an internet fantasy land utopia, but my hidden dystopia is catching up to me, and i'm becoming more and more incapable of exchanging with people in real life, I have nothing to talk about other than offensive conspiracy theories and it clearly offends people i meet. No woman is as good as a comforting lie of a wiafu, but it's a dead end. I hope God can pull me out of this whole i've dug myself into.

>>25636
>i'm becoming more and more incapable of exchanging with people in real life, I have nothing to talk about other than offensive conspiracy theories
Do you read the Bible? If not, pick it and start reading it. Then find a Church to go to in order that you meet people that enjoy reading the Bible as well. Connect with people over healthy topics, even if the conspiracy theories are real, God is more important.

>>25640
I do study the Bible a lot but there is a lot i don't know so i don't talk about it, i mostly hang out with Christians.

>>25636
I understand these feelings all too well. I've been working my way out of a pornography addiction, and it's tempting to stay in cycles with this kind of thing.
Here are a few things that have helped me:

> Allow others to talk about themselves.
When I can't think of something to talk to people about, I let them do all the talking. It can be as simple as where they're from, what they do for work or their general hobbies. People right now are really eager to engage if you give them the slightest indication of interest, and it allows you to bounce topics off them.

> Reframe interests to sound more normie.
I have some conspiracy theories too. I'm a bit of a prepper, so I'm doing some food preservation, stockpiling and some other curious things. However, here's what I say:
> Oh yeah, I like cooking a lot! Canning is really fun too. I've been making a few jams and practicing my pickling; I'll bring you over a jar sometime! 

> Find events with active activities.
Going out to a location to do a thing with others gives you more things to talk about and focus the conversation on. Writing classes or a physical class or gardening club or anything. Make sure you are interested in it though. It sucks when you don't care to do something and are stuck for an hour.

>>25647
Just incase you're wondering what happened to the anon you replied to, i was baptized and reborn and became dead to sin, my porn addiction died in the lake i was baptized in. I was living in habitual sin, stay away from porn and media sex appeal of any kind. I was unable to be loving to people especially women, and i had a deep hatred of myself that i would not acknowledge. Therapy doesn't help, pray to God to delivery you from it.