Hello, I'm a Christian, and I am still learning the Bible, though I consider myself decently knowledgable on its themes and messages. In the last 3 years I have undergone a massive transformation from a useless atheistic tranny into the lover of God I am now, it felt like being awakened to the truth of the universe in totality, like seeing every life at once that all point to the singular truth--that being God at the head of all things. And through my Biblical journey I have come to adore the Lord, I've come to understand the secrets of the heavens and the earth, and I've seen the light at the beginning of the tunnel, only to now know that we live in an age of darkness. The world is dying, degenerating from the natural goodness that God has shown me. I want to devote my life to the Lord, I want to give my life to Him.
But I have recently come to a crossroads of confusion. There are so many countless denominations of the church, each with hundreds upon thousands of people with their own views that differ from my own. I'm unsure if I even have any specific views on worship other than the passion I have for God. And the sheer numbers of pathways overwhelms me. They all deal in the question of what must be done for salvation but in my revelations I have rarely even thought on such things. I fear that I am pursuing the wrong path, there are countless years of history behind the churches, and they all fight one another over what is and isn't true.
It does not help that I have a terrible dislike of other people, I love my family and friends, and I want to love all men as Jesus has taught me to do, but I cannot bring myself to worship in public, not out of shame but out of distrust. This world is a corrupt world and I do not have it in me to trust other people with a topic I view so delicately. I am unsure what you would think of me, but is it impossible to worship the Lord privately? Am I damned for not participating in any of the churches? I apologize if this is a stupid question.
Picture unrelated.