/christian/ - christian

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>>22229 (OP) 
Ive been browsing through this book Titled "Onania". Its a bit strange to read and quite longwinded but i think there is value in it. I'd only recommend you read it if you are of clear mind tho since the majority of the meaning would be lost otherwise.

https://ia800201.us.archive.org/32/items/b20442348/b20442348.pdf

>porn addict for 8+ years now
i just wish i had some kind of outlet, but modern women are atrocious and Godly women might as well not exist. it doesn't help that this is an unprecedented point in human history, all societal standards have been thrown out and it seems like nothing short of the complete collapse of the west is going to fix it, but then porn would be the last thing on your mind in that situation.
one thing i've tried that does help is to print off a calendar and mark off each day you avoid porn. that way you can keep a streak going and get a visual aid of how far you've come. my record right now is about 50, which is still kinda pathetic, and I was lying to myself for a large portion of it since i'd look at lustful images on other boards, when I should be avoiding it at all costs. i've also developed a few ways to aid in that way, since porn and imageboards go hand in hand:
>if it's spoilered, don't click it. always assume it's porn.
>if you have reason to believe it is not porn or absolutely want to see what it is, scroll so it's at the bottom of the page, open it up, and scroll down very slowly to see if it's porn or not. if you see skin, close it.
>if your peripheral vision sees something that is most definitely porn, cross your eyes and hide the offending images or the post entirely. disable hidden post stubs so you're not tempted to open it up again.
are there any other ways you can avoid it? when it's at its peak it's almost inevitable that I'm going to indulge in it, my mind cannot think about anything else until it's satiated.

>>22231
>porn addict myself for about 6-7 years now
>18, highschool
i feel you, im lucky to go to a Christian school and live in a generally more conservative area but its still hard to find somebody who isnt already taken as well as worthwhile. A few months back i had a good streak of about 2 weeks. It was partially due to a crush i have on a girl, i didnt want to defile her in my mind but at the same time i didnt want to lust after other women. It lead to this weird kind of equilibrium where i would be horny and aroused but wouldnt want to watch porn of fully commit to masturbating. This experience makes me think that i cant simply just go on ignoring my natural desires anymore, I need to control them instead. Use my sexual energy elsewhere and direct it toward obtaining certain goals. I dont know how exactly im going to do this but i think its the way forward, atleast for me. 

I think my biggest weakness is lack of motivation. Which is kinda crazy when ive spent my entire life starring down evil. I guess im desensitized. Ill try to figure something out. Interesting tip about the whole calendar thing, might try it out for myself.

>>22234
amen.

>Be alone.
>Make myself sad by thinking of my regrets, actions, and inactions.
>Want to masturbate too feel better.
>Do so.
>Feel worse, say out loud that I hate myself.
>Start believing if I don't masturbate again then, i'll do it anyway later; so I should get it over with.
>Masturbate again.
>Lie in a melancholic state for quite a while.
>Might eventually pray, but am often too demoralized and guilty too do so.

>>22242
I can relate to this far too often. Not sure what to do in that situation other than force a positive attitude and pray.

>>22242

If I had a penny for every time I went through the exact cycle that you described, Elon Musk would be crying himself to sleep at night because he knew he could never be as wealthy as I.

What it ultimately boils down to is shoring up one's faith in the vastness of Christ's mercy, and the sufficiency of His life, suffering, death and resurrection to deliver us from the penalty and power of sin.  Remember what God says about righteous men:

"For a righteous man may fall seven times And rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity." -Proverbs 24:16

You may fall again and again, but lean on Christ and He shall lift you up each time.  Notice also how the number 7 ties into Christ's encouragement of unlimited forgiveness:

"Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”  Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." -Matthew 18:21-22

Christ commands us mere mortals to forgive other sinners an unlimited amount of times.  How much more generous is Christ than us because of His Holiness, longsuffering, and delight in showing mercy?  

One of the things that I've learned during the cycle you've described is that one of the worst things you can do is delay in going back to Christ.  All you end up doing is unnecessarily further distancing yourself from Christ and needlessly drawing out the pain and anguish and despair even more than necessary.  As someone once said, we are sadly often bold in sin, and shy in repentance, when it should be the opposite:

 "Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." -Hebrews 4:14-16

>>22247
amen, never give up.

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easypeasymethod.org
God is ALL the help we need, but this resourse helps you to know the dangers of porn, how your brain works and how to stop STOP FOOLING YOURSELF, YOU GOT THIS! and when we cant fight by ourselves we have God and his hands
yesterday i was about to watch pron and suddenly my internet crash, just minutes before i was praying to God to stop me.
>you DONT need porn
>the anxiety and stress you have its cause by it and not relief by it
God loves you and want you to be free

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>>22354
John Doyle has a good video about it for those who don't want to read

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Keep Christ in your hearts always, friends. Everything you hope to accomplish, ask of Him,
>Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7

Do not be deceived that by your own ingenuity you can succeed, for only by the will of God are your goals accomplished:
>Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow... Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.”
James 4:13, 15

You do not and you cannot take away your own sins: it is the blood of Christ that purifies your soul and sanctifies your spirit to abandon sin by the power of the Holy Spirit:
>Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
>Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
>Create in me a clean heart, O God,
>And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
>Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
>And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
>Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
>And sinners shall be converted to You.
Psalm 51:7, 10, 12-13

>>22229 (OP) 
I'm tired of porn but not enough to quit

>>23544
By the time you are tired of it it'll be too late and a lot harder to stop

>>22354
It'd be wonderful if someone did a spirit-led, faith-based fork of this work. It's good, but it could be a lot better tbh.

>>23546
Who's gonna read it tho? From personal experience I'm most dedicated right after failing but that's also when i have the least attention span. That's why I've never cared about easypeasy.

>>23547
Lol. Obviously some anon other than you ofc, Mr. Blackpill! :^)

>>23548
just being real, if we assume that most porn addicts are low attention span which evidence suggests is true then why are we to assume that theyre gonna want to read a long book like easypeasy. I dont even think i made it through the first chapter before i clicked off to go watch youtube or something.

If you want to reach coomers then it would serve you well to shorten and simplify things as much as possible without lessening the message.

Man, I should just ignore sites or any topics related to whatever horny it is because I would be more hypocritical than others since those others can also care about everything else. I am horny and I need to confess and just stop.

another "trick" i got, dont think about "suriviving" X days without P or Mtion  if you feel the urges just think:
I HAVE TO ENDURE TODAY
thats all the urges goes away you dont need to think you have to actually hold out 1,10,100 years, endure everyday, it will get easy after 3 or more weeks

what do you guys think of the idea of a porn journal?
every time you get a craving for porn you stop what youre doing and write about how you feel in your journal. Maybe that would provide enough of a stop to prevent cooming?

My Christian friend recommend i got to a faith based 12 step program for my porn habit, i've already completed the first step, well see how it goes.

>>23749
good luck

I'm genuinely considering getting a chastity cage to keep myself from masturbating. Is this a good idea?

>>24062
Mind over matter. Chastity is of the will, restraining your body in such a way won't help you much. But that being said it wouldn't hurt to try.

>>24062
>using fetish gear to solve sexual immorality.

the "three weeks" concept doesn't seem to apply to porn addictions. i can go three or more weeks without porn, but after a while it all comes back up and it is incredibly difficult to resist urges, it is impossible to get off the mind and it effects my productivity and focus on other things. i've relapsed for about three days in a row over the weekend and I feel awful about it. I still haven't confessed my sins to God, that's what I dread the most is knowing that you're wrong but feeling too ashamed to admit it.

>>24062
no, it's a stupid idea, because you'll still have the keys to the cage so you could unlock it any time. you'll also risk injuring yourself wearing it for prolonged periods.

>>24066
it really takes about 2 months so ive heard. Ive had similar problems, after about a week it starts getting bad unless im actively doing something 24/7.

>>24065
Devices to prevent you from masturbating predate the BDSM subculture by quite a bit.

>>24066
>you'll still have the keys to the cage so you could unlock it any time
Good point.

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>be me
>relapsed multiple times this weekend
>just relapsed earlier
>randomly decide to turn on this song ive had floating around in my tabs
>start listening to it
>reminded of how God made me, and everything, because He wanted and loves me

push through anons, the worst thing that can happen is that you lose morale. Shrug it off and keep moving on. Ad Victoriam, Toward Victory.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwIWJIdpNFs

>>24184
>Ephesians 1:4 According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:

God wanted us to be Holy before we were even born, instead of porn addicts headed for self destruction.

I've been a few days clean of masturbation, when i get the urge i just focus on a craft project i started.

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tfw God doesn't owe me a girlfriend.

>>24192
Purchase a girlfriend.

With kindness and charm

>>24192
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Psalms 84:11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.

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>>22229 (OP) 
https://sites.tufts.edu/emotiononthebrain/2014/11/18/postcoital-neurochemistry-the-blues-and-the-highs/
At this point I get headaches in the hours after engaging with it, so that is a good deterrent for me. This could be a unique case for me, but it makes sense

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This really pleasant Christian woman found out about my Porn addiction and instead of being disgusted she was kind and directed me to a 12 step faith based program. Christian women are so pleasant, they're so different from worldly women.

>>24223
I'm happy to hear that. Remember her charity towards you and don't let it go to waste.

>>24223
Celebrate Recovery is a wonderful program IMO.

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Hey there. I've been teetering on fulling embracing Christianity for a long while, after engaging with theology and various other Christian experiences, so I'm not going to lie and state I'm really a full blown Christian. (I've been much more willing towards studying recently and Biblical study is something i already plan on doing.) The problem comes primarily from the fact that I've willingly allowed myself to fall into a path of pornographic consumption that's lead me towards extreme degenerate stuff like loli, and even shotaand the shame and regret I have towards myself in engaging with this sort of stuff has made me fall into a cycle I can't really break out of. It's gotten so bad when I relapse i'll be occupied for hours at a time, staying up until really early in the morning looking at all types of different stuff, and it's really ruined me emotionally and stunting my growth spiritually. 

Maybe it'll seem strange to know that I feel I'm uniquely sort of degenerate compared to others here even though we're all on an image board, and likely have been exposed to some pretty disgusting stuff, willingly or otherwise. However,I felt like in studying The Bible and Theology I was genuinely becoming fulfilled and content in my life, and at this point I've fallen to such a state I genuinely am not sure I can redeem myself or feel happiness again. Is there any advice for someone like me in overcoming the shame and disgust in myself to move on from this stuff, any resources or thing similar to that? I have an extremely addictive personality, and I'm wondering if there's any specific helpful information or programs to look into. I appreciate your time.

>>24520
There is this https://easypeasymethod.org/ as well as faith based 12 step programs for overcoming any addictions, one i called celebrate Recovery. I'm willing to bet most on here are dealing with some porn addiction, maybe.

I'm so ashamed of this.

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>>24524 
If you're so ashamed why don't you do something about it while there is yet forgiveness instead of wallowing in sin to the ultimate shame of burning in Hell?

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>mogs every other book on addiction out there
>written by catholics
https://library.lol/main/D8D1E2503993098CF660D84632BD05B6

>>24527
I'm a catholic and it's the only thing that keeps me from killing myself.

>>24520
It can absolutely feel hopeless at times, that you've done too much in the past to redeem yourself. However you can always be assured that the Lord forgives any and all transgressions when you commit yourself to Him and ask for His forgiveness. The first step towards overcoming addiction is to recognize it. Do so and seek God's wisdom through prayer for guidance.

>>22231
Godly women DO exist, they just don't market themselves sexually so you might convince yourself they're all prudes. Women, Christian or not, have the same sexual feelings men do.
Do something dramatic and radical. I remember hearing something about the difference between the guy with a mediocre job and the guy at rock bottom. The guy at rock bottom has hit *the bottom.* He has nowhere to go, and his only way up, his only hope, is grueling, tiresome work that is readily apparent in its need to be done. The man with his mediocre job hates his life, but his job sucks juuuust enough for him to never quit it, never get anywhere, and have just the right amount of pathetic security to keep him weighing his decisions.
The man at rock bottom has no decisions, but one. He will not be stuck.
Pornography is so dangerous because it feels like it's not. Only tiny little infractions, one at a time. They stack up pretty quickly, though.
Don't resign. Sex has a time and place, and you'll thank yourself for cutting yourself off now.

>>24659
>The man at rock bottom has no decisions, but one. He will not be stuck.
From what I've seen online, there's always a way for people at their "bottom" to make their situation even worse. So every effort in resisting is worthwhile.

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Here's a resource that has helped me out a lot. It is through a group called Conquerors through Christ. It is a free devotion book that you can download as a PDF. Print it out if you can. Not only do they help you with porn, but also with a godly understanding of sex. Only through keeping connected with Christ and his Word can anyone beat any sin, especially porn.

https://conquerorsthroughchrist.net/resources/the-first-40-days/

>>24223
You're seriously deluding yourself if you typed it out sincerely and not as an low effort trollpoast.

And worse, setting yourself up for failure when reality conforms, as it only can, to its' base nature and not to your lofty expectations.

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i fell into the trap again

>>24773
same, think im done.

>>24773
>>24778

Whoah, there's no need to constantly beat yourself up about it. You clearly recognize this as sin, but remember what Christ did for you. No matter what sin you commit, he took it away on the cross forever. That is why we are going to heaven. Our personal piety journeys mean nothing for our salvation. We just believe and it is done.

We are forgiven. Read Romans 3. See how clearly Paul tells us how freely we receive justification and forgiveness, even when we fall into temptation. Please remember this fact. This is what Christianity is about.

>>24797
Amen brother, God bless you.

How do I reconcile the fact that I continue to do this, when even Paul says to kick out anyone from the church who does this kind of stuff? Do we all understand how heinous this is? I feel like (and am) a huge hypocrite because I tried to get better again and then lost all motivation. 
>1 Cor 5:4: 4 So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, 5 hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh,[a][b] so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.
In fact, if I weren't such a degenerate, I wouldn't even be able to associate with any of you, and this means I shouldn't let any Christian associate with me.
>1 Cor 5:9: 9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. 11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister[c] but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

>>24800
The sinner of whom Paul was writing was unrepentant. You are not unrepentant, or else you would not have written this post.

>>24800

Just recognize how important that last post, >>24803, was. Even with repentance we still sin, but God's grace increases all the more. It's not that we seek to do that, but we know what God has done for us.

In response to those references in 1 Corinthians, we fail. We fail because we still have our sinful nature within us. The only reason we ever find times we don't sin is because of Jesus. Even Paul had these problems.
Romans 7
> 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
But Christ is where our comfort is. In that full and free forgiveness.

This feels like mental sickness. It's awful, I can't stand this. Please pray on my behalf.

>Ephesians 4:30: And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

If the Holy Spirit is, or has ever been with me, I have grieved him, I'm almost sure of it. How do I help this?

>>24859
>How do I help this?
rise above and be better.

>>24869
Have you risen above? Are you better? Be careful of being prideful. Take out the log in your own eye before you mention the splinter in mine.
I think Paul says something along the lines of, "If your gift and responsibility is to teach, you have to hold yourself up to a higher standard."
The reason I say this isn't to accuse you, just to let you know to be careful and humble yourself. I catch myself preaching what I think others should do and yet I find myself back in this thread every now and then.

>>24871
True i am a hypocrite. It is good advice though, you have to want it more than you want porn.

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Porn is a dangerous alternative to dating women, but dating women also comes with it's own dangerous problems as well. Women are low tier, they're self defeating, pointless, trying having a relationship with a bad woman and it will ruin your life, it's pointless. The majority of women don't take the label of feminist but i guarantee you most will have light feminist thinking.

I'm a Christian but i feel like even God can't help me with the damage that modern women have done (and he won't because he respects freewill), so it feels pointless to have discovered God. So i know that the creator of the universe is all powerful, all knowing, omi-present, yet that does nothing for me, so what, God won't stop me from getting fat or getting killed.

If women are impossible then there is no point in getting a good job or a career or trying to have a family. destructive porn is as good as it gets.

Women give a lot of attention to serial killers in prison letters, source is in the picture, It's like Satan made women.

>>24909
youve got a doomer mindset, cheer up have some fun, go on a walk, get out of the depressed state of mind.

>>24911
How can you not be defeatist when everything is shit and controlled by enemy conspiratorial groups? and it's all which is allowed by God?

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>>24912
I was never really defeatist myself but what helped me to develop was to break away from the conspiratorial mindset and to realize that everyone functions pretty much the same on a basic level cognitively and that they want what they think is good or right whether for themselves, their family, the world etc. Then i started going outside more, hanging out in nature, thinking about God and Biblical thoughts and questions. Gradually things started to make sense through reading, understanding, evaluating, and Divine guidance. There really isnt a one size fits all solution to these kinds of problems, atleast not one i could give, i can only really give you advice and what little guidance i can. A good start would be to get more active, chances are you probably dont do much physically so it helps to go out and walk around, no music or anything just walk and think or enjoy your surroundings. If you have any thoughts pursue them, consult the Bible, consult this board, or if you want you can hit me up on telegram or something. Ultimately it all boils down to what you desire, you want things to be better but you have to pursue them for that to happen, only you have the power to make your life better, by the power of God.

>>24916
>I was never really defeatist myself but what helped me to develop was to break away from the conspiratorial mindset and to realize that everyone functions pretty much the same on a basic level cognitively and that they want what they think is good or right whether for themselves, their family, the world etc.
The Satanist conspiracy is not only true but also Biblical, Satan has been doing evil since Mesopotamia worshipped serpent gods. Human sacrifice and pedophilia rings are not only global but also ancient. https://archive.ph/mQQRf

I am very active, i go to a ministry once a week and give food to the homeless, and i also go to a bible study and a 12 step faith based recovery program for my porn addiction, once a week as well. I am pretty grounded in God, i just don't like the world, and it depresses and scares me.

I could read the bible more, and i will.

>>24917
then i guess you dont need our help.

>>24919
Are you saying i should do more ministry activity and Bible reading and that will somehow solve my problem of the satanic world making everything evil/harmful?

>>24920
No it just seems like youve got everything figured out so i dont see what you need help with.

>>24925
Are you saying i'm wrong? 

Explain to me what you mean by "breaking away from the conspiratorial mindeset" did you just ignore the truth in whatever conspiracy you observed?

>>24926
I've said what I've said in regards to what you believe now I'm asking why you even need our help in the first place.

>>24927
Because i am always open to new information, i could be wrong about something.

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>>24928
I dont know if words would do much in the way of convincing you since its a complex thing to explain and requires overhauling a large part of your worldview to fully understand but I find the idea of a worldwide cabal of people spanning centuries of human history all with the goal of controlling the world implausible because it would be insanely hard to try and organize something like that while keeping it hidden for so long. Not to say I dont believe in groups of people (especially the wealthy) working towards common political goals that serve their ideological interests but i find it irrational to believe that theyre all in on it together or are doing it for some overtly satanic purposes. Its activism to them essentially, they just have more money and sway because theyre successful and we arent.
I still dont get what you need help with though.

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>>24929
>but I find the idea of a worldwide cabal of people spanning centuries of human history all with the goal of controlling the world implausible because it would be insanely hard to try and organize something like that while keeping it hidden for so long.
They don't hide it, Rockefeller openly admits in his memoirs, individuals are smart but masses of people are ignorant. It's there in the Bible as well in the story of tower of Babel, uniting the world.
>Not to say I dont believe in groups of people (especially the wealthy) working towards common political goals that serve their ideological interests but i find it irrational to believe that theyre all in on it together or are doing it for some overtly satanic purposes. 
According to Fritz Springmeier and William Cooper who were attacked for they know, who have written many books on the topic, that is correct. I don't know that much about Fritz (other than that he was attacked and imprisoned by the illuminati but William Cooper was an intelligence officer who was part of a smaller secret society when he was younger called the DeMolay (which he believes is why he was able to get to such a high position in government) and was threatened by the secret society members in the government to keep quite about the plans of the secret societies, they removed his leg and then an undercover cop shot him at mid night and left him to die without receiving medical treatment. This is from Behold a Pale Horse "I give lectures all over the United States. At some point before, during, or after every lecture, some well-meaning but misguided soul, tells me that I have it all wrong and that it's the Jews, the Catholics, the communists, or the bankers that are the cause of all our ills. The target group is blamed for everything that has ever gone wrong. Power over everyone and everything is always attributed to this group - whichever group it happens to be at that moment to that person. These poor people are on the right track, in that there has been and certainly is a conspiracy to bring about a totalitarian world order. They are completely off track to think that any one ethnic, religious, or financial group alone could ever muster enough power to bring its plan to fruition. One group, you see, would always be opposed by all of the other special-interest groups that exist and have always existed throughout history. That is, unless they were all really the same group (the Illuminati) or for some reason they became unified (the Bilderberg Group)."
>I still dont get what you need help with though.
How can you have hope when everything is bad? 
>because God. 
God allows bad things to his followers, but we still have everything being bad. I don't know what to ask, i guess it's how to have hope when everything is bad, God just doesn't give me hope despite being a Christian, i guess the apocalypses/second coming is the answer to my question but before we go to heaven we will have to die in the World Government. Life just sucks sometimes.

>>24933
well good for you but why do you need our help if youve got this all figured out?

>>24934
Incase i'm wrong about something.

>>24935
then listen.

>>24938
to what?

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>>24939
Yourself would be a great start. You say your life sucks and you have no motivation to start anything, girlfriend, job, family, etc. Why do you think that is? Is it because of God? A conspiracy? Or is it because of you? 
After you're done listening to yourself try listening to some of the advice thats been given to you and laid out in this thread such as here >>24916 >>24659 >>24185 >>22359 (picrel) and actually take it seriously instead of passing it off and modify and apply it to your life as you can.

Or dont, its up to you.

>>22229 (OP) 
I figured I would come here to be accountable in that I relapsed into porn today, although it was not as bad as my thousands of relapses before, sin is still sin. If anyone sees this please do pray for me to finally overcome this vice that has had a hold on my life for far too long, as of late I have been doing much better in getting clean, being mindful of what I listen to and watch, cutting out any sexualized media from my list of stuff, but as always we never truly do anything alone (for even the plans and goals of evildoers are allowed or declined by God Almighty) so I thank God for the victories I've had as of late, but also for the loss today and yesterday because now I can learn another important lesson, that of not giving into despair (the guilt/shame cycle of addictive sin). Anyways again please do pray for me so that I can be free of this once and for all, I hope you all have a wonder day, night, wherever your from. God be with you in Christ Jesus frens, Amen

>>25124
consider it done.

>>25124
i do my best to pray each night for everyone on this board, including you. all you have to do is ask. >>23965

>>25126
Thank you, brother. You are all in my prayers too.

>>25124
Last month I relapsed into PMO. Again. But this time, instead of asking simply for forgiveness, I asked Jesus if he would please give me an authentic aversion to this sin. Then, just last week, I was put to the test, and though I gave in to the temptation, I wasn't even through the first couple into P when my heart was flooded with disgust, and then I closed the thing. I'm not proud of this. It's still a grave sin (Matthew 5:28). When I repented, I thanked Jesus for granting me the aversion I asked for, and promised I would strive to not abuse His mercy a second time. I think this is the takeaway: don't even tread close to sin. True aversion should repel darkness from our hearts as soon as it creeps in, always sooner, rather than later. If we even begin to rationalise or compromise with the ways of Balaam, Satan wins.

>>25137
amen

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>>25137
>Balaam
??

I'm done with PMO. 
I've been saying that for a while now but I've never really meant it and I always, like clock work, relapse, every single time. This time is different. I'm 18, last year of highschool, my childhood is gone and forgotten. I wasted it all. Passed through it in a daze, mind fogged by coom brain, incapable of doing what I want to do or enjoying life. PMO paired with homeschooling destroyed my social skills. It made me ghost through the best years of my life and drove a wedge between myself and my friends, family, and aspirations.

Needless to say I've realized the full breadths of this sin and how it has immobilized me in this world and kept me debilitated and on a leash, I hate living this way, I hate not being able to do what I want to do and live life to its fullest and I hate the way it makes me feel.

I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know if I'm going to succeed, hell I'll probably have forgotten most of the woes by tomorrow, but I'm going to hold myself to it. I did it with social media for a week and now it's time to do it with PMO forever, God be willing.

I'll try to post updates as they come, i ask that if you pray for me pray for clarity, steadfastness, and strength. Thanks.

>>25215
I will pray for you anon. Stay strong and trust in God.

>>25217
thanks

>>25215
Good choice.
The sure fire way of doing it is not spending hardly any time on a computer or phone. Just make sure you stay away from those as much as possible and you will be good.

>ask god for strength in resisting porn
>watch it nonstop last night and get no sleep
i'm trying, i really am, but some nights i just can't control myself, even when i know i will get nothing out of it.

>>25229
READ THE BIBLE
STOP LETTING SIN INTO YOUR MIND

I prayed that God would talk to me, and while i was masturbating to porn i had a thought that might not have been my own say to me "what if the woman in the porn was in your family?".

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>>25230

>>22229 (OP) 
I've also been struggling with pornography addiction but wanted to share something that helps me.
So much of the nofap/porn addiction community feels intense shame and guilt for porn use and work to kill every sexual urge and desire they have. While it's important to recognize the negatives of porn, you're fighting against yourself. Having a sex drive is not a shameful thing, but how we use it can be positive or negative.

> Start with a few affirmations. Tell yourself not to be ashamed of what God gave you. You want to change how you express sexual desires, not kill all urges.

> Allow urges to move through you. You don't need to act upon every desire you have. Experience those emotions, allow yourself to exist.

> Visualize what you want in a relationship. Sex is such a small portion of dating and marriage. What else will you be doing? Do you want to travel and explore your country with someone, or maybe find the individual who shares in your passion for [X]? Take time to explore what you want.

> Invest in your appearance. The basics are great, but when you're fine-tuning your beard or applying products to fix up areas you're self-conscious about, it makes you feel a lot more attractive and comfortable.

> Gain platonic acquaintances. This isn't just talking to women. Talk to men, the elderly, children. Anyone and everyone. I'm learning that just talking with people means a world of difference. Most people will share everything if you just show even a shred of interest. It shows their humanity, and even sharing a nice moment with a stranger is more engaging than a picture ever will be.

I believe that we can break through this. Remember to keep a daily prayer time, study the men of the Bible and consider reaching out to an SAA group or your pastor. I'll be praying for you.

>>25260
thanks for the advice, i think this is a good way of looking at it.

Is it possible to lust after online images of women and not have it psychologically or spiritually transfer to when you see women in real life?

>>25266
No.

>>25266
A photograph only showcases the physical attributes. It leaves out a lot of qualities that make someone human. With that and the liberal use of photoshop showcasing unattainable standards, I would not recommend lusting after images.

Porn is my life, all my media is porn, porn is the only thing i enjoy, and it's destroying how i look at women, i've already pissed off two women in a major way. I've been in a 12 step faith based program for a few months now to quit but i keep relapsing. I joined a zoom call with other sex addicts and it just doesn't help me to talk about these things since i keep doing them. God has been merciful to me so far, so i've yet to mess up bad enough, but i fear God will lose patients or give me up to reprobate mind.

>>25276
God will not abandon those who fight. Fight on, AD VICTORIAM.

>>25276
>God will lose patients 
if He did we'd all already be dead

>>25276
You need to ask Jesus to feel the aversion as soon as you lean into PMO. In fact, the aversion would make you destroy the logical and physical objects that fill your life with P. Destroy it in a state of prayer, so that you don't feel emptied and broken.

I got rid of my computer and phone. And I think many people need to as well. God trusted me many times to prove I could handle them and I could not. And maybe one day God will grant them back.
I remember someone at church, an older guy telling me that "well you need your phone for your job."
Look, you cannot get help from people who didn't grow up on the internet and don't understand. Imagine someone trying to quit cigarettes having an unlimited supply of them with them at all times, whatever smoke they want. Or an alcoholic having a cellar just at home that costs nothing it never runs out whatever you want.
I'm sorry that we were raised in internet porn but, if you have been destroyed by it and God has not granted you total freedom as some times he will in an instant to people. You have to give up everything.
I was reading Luke 14 the last half of that chapter really I realised I have to give up everything. Sexual lust is the one thing the Lord says please just run away. You wanna fight it you'll get whipped.

That's just me. I'm just sharing you know. I don't know any other person's situation you have to do what God wants. but I'm just sharing. Posting this from the library computer. And I do stress I'm the biggest internet addict and former weeb and all these things and I'm not special and I don't know I just encourage others maybe to just let go of computer first and then phone, if something causes you to sin, it's just not worth hell.

>>25309
>an alcoholic having a cellar just at home that costs nothing it never runs out
That is a great analogy. Then the devil whispers 'just one drink won't hurt'. The only way to break an addiction is to remove the object of temptation.
>You have to give up everything.
That's the scary part and where a lot of us fail. The things we need to give up are often our ways of coping with living in this evil world. It's very hard to let go of the life preserver in an ocean of sin and trust Jesus enough to swim towards Him. St. Peter couldn't do it.
>former weeb
What made you repent? Asking as a weeb.

>>25318
I'm just not obsessed with anime anymore or really even interested in it. Because of Jesus. John Bunyan in his story points out the annoying fact that as you get older a lot of things fade away naturally like your sexual drive is almost guaranteed to go down anyways and no christian wants that kind of "win" because it doesn't feel like a real victory to be less tempted just because your body is decaying. Likewise many people grow out of anime obsession anyways, but I was certainly not on that path naturally if it wasn't for God. It just fell away. Don't watch it anymore. For one I know that anime is soft-core porn and if I watch it eventually it will lead to porn anyways. I had to get rid of my porn to begin with, which was my life like many people, anime and porn and anime porn I had external harddrives full of "rare" erotic things that you couldn't find online anymore and I had such an amazing collection, that is hard to get rid of but I did, though I tried to sort of keep a bit of anime in my life for a while but it all just goes away because I'm not interested in it as much as staying away from sin and anime causes sin including in the reality that you waste time with it. Same thing with secular music, I got rid of all the stuff that had swearing but eventually I lost all interest compared to christian music and I don't listen to any of my secular music anymore the folder will probably be gone soon from my USB. If there's anything that is not going to stay, skip ahead and cut it all off. You're going to end up leaving anime behind anyways so if it is a problem for anyone just consider that it's got to go eventually anyways.

People look up devices like the TIMMKOO which plays mp3 and mp4 and has the model option for no wifi, or sony walkmans or ebook tablets and such. I haven't gotten any such thing but I'm thinking of getting one. If you don't want to not have any device it's good to at least have one that has no internet. Then you can go to the library and transfer things to the device and it's at least a bit safer, and I would say cut the internet off completely if you live on your own. There are other things to do. It's always so hard to imagine change or not having some things but it's always easy in the end just having the library computer and other people's computers when you get a chance.
I always say, Oh I need my christian videos, I really don't and even if I did I certainly don't need internet access at all times 24/7 to see those videos. I say Oh I can't give up the cellar there's people in there that could help me.

I find porn addiction to be the worst thing in all history and serious movement needs to be done against it. Cutting off completely won't stop the lusting, but you can't expect an instant level 10 Resta from something you did, but we have to do something. Something with serious action and consequence as Jesus describes. Living in sin is not the same as waiting on the Lord. But I know for a fact I will win in the end, Because Jesus will save us from our sinfulness. If you don't believe Jesus WILL save you, you are an apostate. And I believe and trust in all that Jesus says including his harsh call to action against sin and turning from it.
But you can't go wrong with giving things up for Christ's sake, if someone's having real trouble consider just throwing the devices away and that's just as a start. The idea you'll wait on the Lord to deliver you and take away the passion, that's good, but at the same time that doesn't excuse allowing things that cause sin to be in your life even if they may be helpful in some other ways.
This is all if God calls you to do that, you have to inquire of God about that, not me of course,.

I have been too busy to be led into temptation about over the last week or so. I pray that the Lord keeps this going. Amen.

>>25370
Make it for another 3 weeks and you should be good. My highest time was 2 weeks in the past 2 years or so.  Could see the light at the end and then I pooped up.

>>25370
>>25333
>>25371
Godspeed Brothers.

i lasted a week for some reason, and then relapsed.

If the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed. (John 8:36)

In temptation, remember the words of the Christ, then remember the warning in Hebrews and your lustful thoughts are frightened.

>>25370
I am praying for you.

>>25390
I pray you will overcome the flesh and embrace the spirit of continence.

>>25392
Thank you, amen.

I can't stop fapping. It's over

>>25404
You should at least try to stop, because it's a slippery slope, you'll get bored of porn and you're keel lusting after women in real life it's painfully obvious.

Jesus forgive me and my brothers, who suffer under the yoke of this sin, and give us true aversion to it. Let none here fail, that we may all bear witness to your mercy.

>>25412
Amen.

>>25405
I just failed after 4 weeks. Again.
It is so hard to get beyond 1 month. I feel so powerful 1 month in but the pull is so incredibly difficult. I just want to see a naked woman, and once I see one on the internet it just is that much harder to deny. 
I simply need to do something with my internet access. I think I may need to install some kind of porn blocking software and then purposefully forget/lose the password so I can never see it again. 
We wouldn't have this problem if the modern woman was not complete and utter garbage and we weren't imprisoned in this byzantine legalistic system where every single human interaction is potentially litigious.

>>25414
What has helped me was studying the Bible more.

A little bit about myself, i was molested for a few years when i was 10-12 by an 21 year old woman, and since then i've had a sexual addiction. I use my sexual addiction as a form of defeatism or rebellion against God to not deal with the problems with women and dating as pathetic as that sounds. I have an irrational (or rational depending on your observations with women) hatred of women. i have no problem being friends with them but dating then leaves to believe that there is not other possibility than a bitter outcome, i cannot accept that a good woman would want to date me.

I'm such a hypocrite. I was looking at porn (because i'm a porn addict) and i came across nun porn and it offended and saddened me that people would sexualize a women devoted to God. However it made me realize that Jesus would be offended by any lusting of women who i am not married to. I've fapped to 2D loli, and and for some reason i have no problem with that, but nuns offend me, i realize the contradiction and it really makes me question myself.

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>>>
None of the Easy-Peasy method or NoFap stuff worked for me. Mindsets, axioms, methods, or focusing on benefits never did me any good. I tried it all, and I always failed. I got to over 125 days several times and I still returned to it. 
<<<


Proverbs 26:11 ESV
11 Like ((( a dog that returns to his vomit ))) is a fool who repeats his folly. 


>>>
The short of it is this: if lust is in your heart, you will never change. No amount of streak days or promises of supposed life-changing benefits will ever be enough. I wanted sex above all else in my
life. It was my idol of obsession and the false-god that I worshiped. I said to myself that I loved God above all else, but I placed Him second to my lust for sex. The masturbation, porn, and sexual
fantasies are all sinful, but they were never the root of the problem. They were just the symptomatic sinful actions of living a life in lust. Remove lust from your life by choosing to put Christ first. Remove it from your thoughts, actions, and memory. You know how to seek and live for God, so do it. 
<<<


Romans 7:13-25 ESV
13 Did that which is good, then, bring death to me? By no means! It was sin, producing death in me through what is good, in order that sin might be shown to be sin, and through the commandment might become sinful beyond measure. 14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 19 ((( For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. ))) 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.


>>>
Living for God is a choice. Make it. Pray constantly, read your Bible, meditate on scripture, and make the focal point of your life to be living for Christ. If you put Him first above all else, by choice, then this sin will no longer plague you. But if you live with lust still in your heart, then God will not be first in your life. We cannot be fully free from sin, and we will always struggle with the sinful nature of our flesh, but we can still put God first. Stop thinking about streaks and stop counting days altogether. Relapse is not masturbation or looking at porn, its letting lust back into your heart and life. We know what we need to do, we just don't do it. Stop being lazy, stop struggling, let go of this sin, and just live for Christ. 
<<<


1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 ESV
16 Rejoice always, 17 ((( pray without ceasing ))), 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14 ESV
13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. ((( Fear God and keep his commandments ))), for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

James 4:7-10 ESV
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. ((( Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. ))) 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

John 8:10-11 ESV
10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; ((( go, and from now on sin no more ))).”


>>>
God be with you, my brothers and sisters. 
<<<

>>25431
I don't understand how healthy dynamics are meant to work
I've an oxytocin addiction & it can't easily be kept down at all

The only cure I know is either pharmacutical or to sleep around, but I feel like the dynamic I'd need for that is "I just fuck them not care about them" which I still don't think will deprive the addiction enough

Worse is I've got family in a position where women make them so nervous their behavior is bizarrely evasive and excessively avoidant, like they look at the floor & take an 8 foot radius of increased stride pace to get away. I want to help them, but I don't think that LUCA/LUCITA (listen understand somehing something immediately take action)  is going to help them start a conversation or put at ease their anxiety

>>25481
How will you do this and also find/retain a wife?

>>25489
Just curious, how did you find us?

>>25484
Isn't Oxytocin a drug? Why does that make you sleep around? Why are women in your family avoidant of you and how is that related to Oxytocin?

>>25492
Just browsing the web.

>>25493
It's a drug and a hormone as well kind of multi-purpose. In oxytocin addicts, you have repeating thoughts or memories in your head that act to jam the hypothalamus factory doors open until the receptors for it are smothered. It creates a Zen-like or euphoric state and alters your lens on reality to make everything seem nicer, because you're in love or something. The high is great and all but the withdrawl is worse than a death in the family.

How it manifests is through the hopeless romantic trait, obsessive love, limerence, lovesickness, love addiction etcetera. Other terms include "oneitis", the blinkers, tunnel vision and so on, because it causes things like goal reorientation and because of the hyper-focus on what's called the "limerent object" or 'LO', usually someone who is slightly out of reach to be able to do anything with. The effect is supposed to go away (toward a wife/gf) if you do succeed in completing the three year relationship cycle with them (which I'd just be glad is over frankly, long as it didn't cause you to take a massive loss).

Men are unattractive and undesirable with it toward women, if they realise that dynamic, and I view it as a bit of a co-morbidity disease tbh. In women it's much worse because they are the sex selectors, their body count is usually monumentally high but they never think to try to fix themselves.

I haven't slept around yet. Talking and distractions help but the only cure is said to be "treatment through doing". You need to get gud at dating to break the cycle but I've no game, really. The women in my family are deceased/not around, but the way you get the disease is if they were avoidant of you as a child as it shapes you into having a seeking-style of attachment mechanism. I don't know what it'd be like to have both the disease and avoidant attachment, maybe it would help a little, but I'm taking it seriously because my whole view of life is shaped and altered by it. You can just take the drug abilify - if you trust big pharma with a multi-acting pill that changes brain chemistry.

>>25493
It's my sibling who does the avoiding, toward the women who are anything above a 2 out of 10: extreme nervousness, submissive beta vibes/looking at floor, just all around uncomfortable. I want to help but frankly they could be beyond it.

i have printed off a calendar and i am going to mark down each day that i do not indulge in porn. hopefully if i can keep this up for a few weeks looking at all the tally marks will be good motivation.

>>25500
There is a phone app called "clean day" for drug addicts that automatically counts the days you're sober.

>>25481
>Stop thinking about streaks and stop counting days altogether. Relapse is not masturbation or looking at porn, its letting lust back into your heart and life.
^This is real wisdom and understanding.

Attempting to control your actions is futile if you're still an adulterer-at-heart. Even if you succeed, you'd just be a whited sepulchre... "which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness." Matthew 23:27

Letting the living seed of the Word, through the Holy Spirit, is the grace of God to live a holy & redeemed life I believe. That seed is incorruptible, and through it you have new life in Jesus Christ. God bless you richly, Anon.

I met some spiritual evangelists and twice they caste out demons from me, and now i have no motivation to do porn, i've only been clean for a  day but i have zero feelings to use it. Also i was delivered from anger from this situation i got into where i was harassed from a job, now i don't feel anything about it. Since i'm quitting porn forever i cannot go to image boards anymore, but i will check up on this one from time to time since it's usually free of porn.

I would say if you can look for someone who can deliver you and who has delivered people before, or pray to God to bring you to someone, because most likely your problem is spiritual.

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Just deleted all the porn off my computer this morning (again). I've repeated this cycle so many times it just feels normal now. I did it so nonchalantly this time and the last, but I've practically already resigned myself to fail again. Really, I'm beginning to think it's not that big of a deal so far as it concerns myself, but rather I'm just sick of disappointing God. Who cares if it's bad for me? What matters is that I'm not choosing to do the "good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." But the real twisted part about all this is that I don't even know if I believe in God, and I've denied his existence for the past two years at least just so I could avoid having to think about it, yet despite that, I've always felt the desire to conform myself to his will, and I've never been able to shake the odd feeling I get whenever I choose not to wear my cross, like somehow if I give up that meaningless habit of wearing it all the time, that would be it, and I would be cutting any last ties I have with a God I don't believe in.

>>25543
Do you truly not believe in the existence of God, or is that just a coping mechanism to alleviate feelings of guilt over sin? I'd wager most atheists weren't convinced by evidence, rather, they wanted relief from guilt. Sadly, there is no relief for them where they've sought it. There is only self-deception and willful blindness until judgment.

We're all sick of disappointing God, but use the pain to make much of Christ. We want to be sanctified and sinless; but, subconciously, is it so we can feel justified by our sinlessness? We should always keep our focus on why we're justified before God: it's because of Jesus' perfect sinless obedience, death, burial, and resurrection as an atonement for us sinners.
>"[...] But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:" Romans 5:20 KJV
Read that whole chapter. Obviously we don't want to sin, but as a practical matter, I would rather remain a sinner if it kept whole trust in Jesus as my justification. Jesus did more than buy me a second chance. He paid my whole way. Give glory to Him. Thank Him for accomplishing what you could never do.

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I'm not justifying porn use, it's clearly bad, but how can you ever be free from seeing porn and therefor opening portals to demons to oppress you? You know there have been advertisements that appear to be mundane yet contain subliminal porn, do those bring demons as well? What used to be porn in the 70s is now advertisement in the modern era.

My family bond with media unfortunately it's the only thing we can do together, and there is subliminal porn there as well. It's like trying to be free of micro plastics.

My questions is, is it possible to be free of porn and still be a part of society?

Also does everyone who consumes porn become porn addicts?

>>25630
>but how can you ever be free from seeing porn
By not giving yourself a chance to even stumble across it. Stop looking at anything that is sexualized. If you family bonds with media then don't bond with media that has any potential sexual scenes in it. When you find it hard to do without something, that is where your passion resides. So find new family boding hobbies, pick up a board game or something. Read the Psalms together. Repentance is the turning away from sin, not the turning away from sin only on certain occasions. Think of Proverbs 26:11. Do you desire Christ or this world? 

>is it possible to be free of porn and still be a part of society?
Yes, I was once enslaved to porn and God helped deliver me from it. 

>Also does everyone who consumes porn become porn addicts?
I don't think everyone that watches porn is strictly addicted to it. But everyone that watches porn is not following Christ.

>>25630
Forgot to attach this link for this helpful video by Kyle. I recommend all Christians struggling with lust/porn addiction to watch this.
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=4ipD7FocmWk

>>25633
>By not giving yourself a chance to even stumble across it. Stop looking at anything that is sexualized. 
You're not listening. It's not just with obvious sexualized media, it's in public ads and commercials, there is hidden porn is seemingly innocuous ads.  

Does subliminal porn  still cause you to sin even if you're not aware of it?
>Repentance is the turning away from sin, not the turning away from sin only on certain occasions. Think of Proverbs 26:11. Do you desire Christ or this world? 
I will repeat, i'm not defending porn.

>>25637
If it is subliminal then you have no awareness of it, there is no sin. There are subliminal messages everywhere, but there is also willpower. Those pictures appear more like pareidolia to me. So I suppose that a person with a highly sexualized mind from repeated exposure to porn and overly lustful material would be more prone to see these kind of things, even if not maliciously intentional. Like seeing a naked lady in the clouds for example. Only when you have a stimulus present that triggers your passion can the demons use that to entice you into sin. If it is subliminal it can't trigger your passion if your unaware. And even if it did, the demons have to entice you into sin, so the longer you couple with the thought that arises, the greater the risk you will give into sin. So the first step is to desensitize your mind to the flesh. Reduce your exposure to what is visible and then you will be unaffected what is invisible.

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685 days. And I ruined it.
I was edging for the longest time, going on and off between avoiding porn entirely and binging it en masse. And tonight it finally broke me, completely by accident. I moved my legs and it just came out. I'm still in shock, and sadness, and depression, and anger, frustration, disappointment, every other emotion under the sun. That streak was one of the few things I could actually take pride in, and now I can't.
But at the same time, there's nothing else I can really do about it. Brush it off and start again. Ask the Lord for forgiveness and strength in resisting evil. The only way I would really lose is if I let it consume me again.
Please pray for me brothers.

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>>25759
I'm there too, brother. This cross is much too heavy, destruction, so near. May Jesus have mercy on me and on all my relapsing brothers in this thread, with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

>>25759
>>25760
You have to treat this passion like any other addiction. Cold turkey, i.e., fasting, along with prayer is the way out. If you are not completely avoiding all sexually explicit material than you do not truly desire to quit. If as soon as the thought arises to look at porn and you think you can test yourself, then you have already lost and given into sin. If the sites you are on have porn, then block them, it that means no more imageboards, so be it. You can't carry on the same routine and think suddenly everything will be different, the demons are smarter than us and have been in the temptation business for thousands of years. Refer to this video >>25634

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>>24705
>I cant control base impulses so nobody can
Be the victory you want to see in the world anon.

One thing that has really motivated me to stop masturbating is how it takes over my motivation to do anything besides masturbate to porn, I've been free for 5 days and i can enjoy things now with it being porn.

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I started consuming porn when I was 11 or 10, and it became a daily habit. After I converted I slowly managed to get out of it. Three years later, I was able to spend 6 months without falling into it: I was free of mind and barely tempted at all.

 Now I've relapsed and relapsed hard. I don't even feel the disgust I should towards it, I barely manage to care. I offer so little resistance to temptation it's just sad. Tbh I don't know what to do. I used to fight, to get angry, feel shame, feel sorry for my offence and grateful for my forgiveness... Now I'm just carrying on with my day, indifferent to my sin. I'd like to say I'm going back into a depressive episode, and that's why I'm so indifferent, but it doesn't seem to be the case.

I don't know, I don't know anymore. I wish it wasn't like this, but I don't wish it strongly enough. God loves me to the point He chose to die on the cross and I don't even manage to care enough to stop masturbating. I've been falling for about two weeks now. I don't know how to get my crap together and finally get rid of this filth.

>>25771
Same, I've fallen back into it hard and subsequently as a result have lost much of my motivation, clarity, and care for really anything in this world. Don't know what I'm going to do but I've got to do something.

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Overcoming this sin is difficult enough on its own, but everything else is still going on, adversity without end, tempting us into yet other sins, all tearing at our souls, making our hearts so heavy, and our hope so dim. Jesus, we cannot do it without you. Please, have mercy.

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I managed to stop ejaculating but i still watch porn, i now have amazing focus, i can do things for hours, i just spent all day from 12pm-11pm playing and trying to translate porn games. I don't want to lose porn it's all i have, i don't care if i don't ejaculate anymore because i have more attention span. I told my sponsor that i watched porn and i hope he doesn't make me put some program or something to block pictures, it would be impossible to get censor all my porn because it's in various different kinds of medium, tv shows, anime, movies, manga, games, visual novels. i feel i'll never have a beautiful wife nor will i be able to support her, the last woman that was attracted to me was not attractive. 

I don't like life, it's cruel and full of evil vengeful people, i just want to be with porn where they can love me, "they don't really like you" neither will real life women, and i'm not saying that because i'm an incel but because i've had women who liked me me and them completely leave because of some disagreement. So i guess this is progress.

>>25772
>Don't know what I'm going to do but I've got to do something.
Let's pray for one another since that's pretty much the only thing we can do.

>>25778
I'd say the way porn poisons your brain is way worse than masturbation. Masturbation without pornography is less harmful than pornography without masturbation.
Programs and stuff to block porn use are more of a gesture than anything: something you do to tell yourself you're not gonna fall again. It always takes just a few clicks to circumvent them. Still, it's better than nothing.

If God loves us infinitely, we should need no other love. Lust is more about searching for love outside of God than about calming an urge (that'd be gluttony). Personally, I don't think I'll find a woman until I'm fully rid of this sin. People can tell if you can truly love them or are just searching for someone who can love you. And if you don't love yourself, you're signaling to others that you're not worthy of love.

>>25779
Masturbation provides Oxytocin doping and distorts reality somewhat so that the pain of life is not as viewable for a time. But later I dream of a trad life and I go back to doping to get away from where I am. It looks so impossible to physically manifest our way out of it. I live in a globohomo expensive city but can't afford or can't risk the middle of wilderness existence. I can only see perhaps how to cheat to get out

>>25779
>If God loves us infinitely, we should need no other love.
You need lust in order to procreate. I don't know how Christians manage to square off that circle. People have written books discussing the point and I want to read a few (pls, gibs recommends). Most Christians even clever or studious ones seem to miss this point that romantic relationships require the first pillar to stand them up consisting of attraction and desire. It's not fair to them either, to be religiously obfuscating it to them. A given religion should strengthen a man not weaken him.

>Lust is more about searching for love outside of God...
Underrated line tbf but I still do see it as a need that man tries to satiate. A man with no lust at all is going to face a bit of difficulty if he's in no way driven to rear a family.

>>25784
What are we defining lust as? The desire to have sex? Or the gluttonous and self destructive desire to indulge in sex in any way we want and can?

>>25762
There is wisdom here bros. "Edging" is already defeat.

>>25787
The reason coomers are a thing is because it's easier to dent the lens on reality and to leave reality the ugly way that it is for a bout of escapism for a while, than it is to dent reality itself and to try to change it into something a little less ugly. You lack agency intentionally and by design, whereas at least in the past if you did not like the lord you were serfing for, you could choose to serf for a lordship a few towns over and the manner of that lordship could be different by some metric or other, such as leaving you for the most part well alone to get along being the variety of lowly serf that you want; one that doesn't have to put up with women dressing immodestly amongst his fellow serfs, or put up with them taking on leadership roles that they're unfit to govern in. A man could retreat to his shack to devise for himself a comfier prettier reality for himself - but those times have changed and modern living does not provide opportunities nor rewards in material terms for any attempts at ingenuity.

In summary it's horrible and I beg God for help every other day, but it always feels like I don't get help because I'm just not good enough to have earned it.

>>25791
>In summary it's horrible and I beg God for help every other day, but it always feels like I don't get help because I'm just not good enough to have earned it.
Most often God helps us when we are truly ready to receive His help. He waits for us to take the initiative before He acts because of our free will. So, if you are wallowing in a particular sin, just praying for God's help while continuing that sin is counter intuitive. God wants us to begin to move toward him of our own will through repentance. We must give God the signs we are truly serious to turn away from our sin, i.e., delete all of our porn files, put up blockers, find another activity to do once the urge comes, etc. When this is accomplished first, this repentance, don't be surprised to find that God will begin to give you the strength to carry on. Think about Proverbs 26:11. Always remember to keep struggling and do not give into despondency, the evil one wants you to despair that you will never succeed.

>>25791
>I'm just not good enough to have earned it.
And who ever deserved God, anon? "If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand before you?" (Psalm 130)
Do all you can like >>25798 said, but also don't forget to trust that He loves you and He'll deliver you. This is not just lovely-doody modern pastor language: it's a fact that without Him we're lost. We'll never succeed on our own, so lets await Him "like the watchman waits for the dawn".


>>25784
Every sin comes from a disordered desire, but desire in itself is not bad. Looking for love is a good, wonderful thing, but lust is a horrible, twisted distortion of that desire, and trying to placate our lust only makes it grow, it never brings us peace. I think it was Chesterton who said "The man who enters a brothel is in fact searching for God".

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I can't even lust after attractive women on social media anymore, i just feel envy of something i probably will never have. My suspension of disbelief can only be happy with with porn of incest adult women, as if they're the only shot i have in this life of getting laid, of course i wouldn't act out on these fantasies or else i'd go to jail for a long time. Porn almost ruined my life and a lot of my relationships, but it's all i have now, i have anxiety problems being around attractive women and they mirror my anxiety. I just wish God would kill me and i hope a miracle happens and Protestantism is right and i get into heaven, despite being a degenerate Christian who only gets happiness from porn.

God has revealed himself to me in various ways and he has lovingly cured me of my schizophrenia, but it feels like nothing has changed, maybe i'll always be addicted to porn despite going to a 12 step program and having a sponsor and having an all powerful God with me. I honestly don't want to leave porn, so that i guess that's my main problem, it gives me companionship and love from women that i would probably never get in a Christian marriage, i can have slaves devoted to me, or women out of my league, i know it's not real, but i wouldn't get them in real life ether so it's better than nothing. I guess i just don't trust that God will give me a wife that i'll like or that said wife will be a decent person. I know God is loving but he allows bad things to happen, he also doesn't owe me anything so why would he give a wife and somehow keep her from divorcing me and financial y ruining my life.

Getting a wife wouldn't even solve my problem, because i don't even know what unconditional love is, i've had gfs where i just use her and our sexual experiences is me being in total control, as if it was a porn. I honesty don't think i can undo my porn conditioning, it's like I'm some sort of sexual psychopath but i feel remorse afterwards. I had this beautiful girlfriend once and at the end of the relationship she angrily said "i was always second best with you", i would intentionally make her jealous and reserve the words she wanted me to call her, "pretty" for anime women and she would just be "cute", i wish i was joking. I wanted to throw it in her face that she is obsolete, but it's me who has a problem, if she is obsolete than i am some self destroying idea of progress. I have a deep hatred of women because i was molested by one when i was child, that is probably where my porn addiction comes from as well.

>>25870
>I just feel envy of something I probably will never have.
Millions of people end up stuck in these transactional marriages anon. What you're seeing as happy people... They aren't as happy as you're perhaps making them out to be. On top of that they don't know why and they haven't even a cursory look at religion. It isn't quite right to be envious of this.

>kayfabe porn of incest adult women...
You know what I think the incredible rise of incest porn results are all about? Besides it's intentional promotion for undermining traditional family... It's that you were most likely deprived of affection by a parent/siblings and are trying to reclaim that connection which you were lacking, now that you've reached sexual maturity. If you can learn to love yourself healthily, then you can stop being *in* love with yourself involving some narcissism reward pathway. It can be done anon. I doubt you're completely lost, particularly if you have God beside you.

>I have anxiety problems being around attractive women and they mirror my anxiety.
There are ways out. If I were advising an anon who can't talk to girls full-stop, then I'd say go back to when you were a child and had to interact with them in an elementary way and remember how it was you might simply interact with them. There's a system called "LUCA" that stands for 'Listen Understand Clarify Action'. You can look up examples of it being used. Basically it's a framework that can be used to recover men who've completely lost their nerve around even quite ugly women... Whereas if you're only after advanced classes; "APPROACHING A BITCH! / ROSS JEFFRIES SEMINAR" details the start of methods used for approaching 8-9/10 girls who use male shaming tactics for sexual vetting purposes. I'm sorry things have become such a meat market out there. I just want a wholesome trad wife but maybe it's a sin of mine to want it more than God, because it's easier being a short-sighted idiot.

>I can have slaved devoted to me, or women out of my league
Putting aside the less flattering terminology, I think eventually, if I really really get out there, I might not just get a modern girl but a girl that looks at me with biblical reverence. Because you can be the golden rope from which many can climb out of modern misery - if you have God as a framework or moral purpose with which to shelter these less fortunate people including some women in there.

>why would he give me a wife and somehow keep her from divorcing me and financially ruining my life.
Protestantism is quite fortunately permissive in your case. Your marriage is before God and belongs not to society nor for maintaining modern social structures. Let society think your children are bastards if you want, and don't reach for that state involvement. They may still prevail on you for co-habitation or for owning a pet cat together... but by then you already "took the L" before you even entered the court. So "take the L".

>I don't even know what unconditional love is...
I've expressed this love before to a woman. Trust me they do not want it, or at the very least they don't want to see it in their own field of view. If you cross Eros love with Agape love, and they can see it, then they learn contempt for it because your behavior mimics what a desperate (not strong offspring producer) man will wont to do. Since I don't know how to switch that off nor hide my feelings very well, I've learned to do not so much lies but omit the full truth from them and merely follow this structural blueprinting and manipulation. It's not working out for me because I'm basically in the same hedonistic waster boat as you, but the hole I've crawled out of was comparably as horrible. I'm at least a "glad to be here" waster for some of the time.

>ex. being physically but not emotionally supportive toward a woman
I don't think you're as bad at this as you say. I've never been called cute, hot, or deserving of love or anything else. It's men's lot in life but the fact that you are giving some affection out is a good start. I'm not sure what the mind games or use of grammar is about. You do sound a bit of a narcissus though, and maybe should look into how to treat a patient that is dealing with that kind of an issue. Learn about attachment mechanisms too while you're doing the studying.

It's mostly secular stuff that I'm dropping on you but not abandoning God is something you've got that most of society is lacking by now. Any religious stucture, no matter what it is should necessarily strengthen you as a man and see you happier than if you were without it. So that you feel remorse is good, in the long run it should make you strong as well as better. I'm at about eight paragraphs so to wrap up; thanks for posting anon. I believe in you.

>>25872
>Millions of people end up stuck in these transactional marriages anon...
True.
>You know what I think the incredible rise of incest porn results are all about? Besides it's intentional promotion for undermining traditional family... It's that you were most likely deprived of affection by a parent/siblings and are trying to reclaim that connection which you were lacking, now that you've reached sexual maturity.
It's possible, but i don't actually want to have sex with my family even if i didn't get jail time, i just really like kind hearted women, and i don't think anyone will love you like a mother, platonic or non-platonic.
>If you can learn to love yourself healthily, then you can stop being *in* love with yourself involving some narcissism reward pathway. It can be done anon. I doubt you're completely lost, particularly if you have God beside you.
My sin is negatively effecting my life, but it also might be the best sexual companionship i can get,  no one will love me like the women in porn do to their viewers. Girlfriends in real life are so disappointing, once i do something sexual with them that is all i want to do and i take it for granted and end up using them. i don't want to give it up porn, even though i'm well aware of it's destruction and impending doom that will certainly come if i keep using it.  I'm not sure but it's possible that if i stop porn and masturbation that i will learn to love myself and start to undo whatever evil conditioning i have picked up from porn, or it could my molestation that causes my hatred of women and my self esteem problems. Either way i'm doing true and positive affirmations.
>I just want a wholesome trad wife but maybe it's a sin of mine to want it more than God, because it's easier being a short-sighted idiot.
Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil." It would be very strange if God wouldn't give you a wife.
>APPROACHING A BITCH! / ROSS JEFFRIES SEMINAR" details the start of methods used for approaching 8-9/10 girls who use male shaming tactics for sexual vetting purposes.
This is my problem, thank you for the recommendation, i'll check it out.
>Putting aside the less flattering terminology, I think eventually, if I really really get out there, I might not just get a modern girl but a girl that looks at me with biblical reverence. Because you can be the golden rope from which many can climb out of modern misery - if you have God as a framework or moral purpose with which to shelter these less fortunate people including some women in there.
I believe in God but i don't follow his word when it comes to lust and the consequences are stark, i just really want sex and love. I play a lot of immoral porn games. I would not want to be a father that plays offensive porn games, though and i doubt i'd find a wife that would want or tolerate that. I see pastors friends with inspiring families, and if God would give me such a family i would gladly leave porn, but there is so much uncertainty with God, and i am pretty impatient when it comes to this. i don't know about working a miserable job everyday though.
>Your marriage is before God and belongs not to society nor for maintaining modern social structures. Let society think your children are bastards if you want, and don't reach for that state involvement. 
There is also the philosophy of bringing children into a this awful world, i want my children to be resilient but there is a human limit to how much someone will take. I worry too much for someone who believes in God. God doesn't owe me anything and will let bad things happen, therefore it's hard to trust him, even if everything is supposedly for my benefit.
>They may still prevail on you for co-habitation or for owning a pet cat together... but by then you already "took the L" before you even entered the court. So "take the L".
This encroaching reality of being inevitably screwed is catching up to me, more than i'd like it to.
>It's not working out for me because I'm basically in the same hedonistic waster boat as you, but the hole I've crawled out of was comparably as horrible. I'm at least a "glad to be here" waster for some of the time.
If you're free, don't go back to hedonism, it will destroy you, like it almost destroyed me.
>You do sound a bit of a narcissus though, and maybe should look into how to treat a patient that is dealing with that kind of an issue. Learn about attachment mechanisms too while you're doing the studying.
I definitely have a hunger for appreciation or admiration. I'll look into that, thank you.
>thanks for posting anon. I believe in you.
It's your choice if you want to reply to this essay, it's it's too much writing then i understand. i've made a lot of bad choices, and i thank you for your help, may God bless us.

Does anyone want to know one weird trick for continence are you all good?

>>25910
Sure

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>>25925
I was cycling copper with zinc supplements I was taking since too much zinc can lead to a copper deficiency, and I discovered that on the days I take copper carnal desires are massively suppressed. I thought that it may a placebo, so I decided for an experiment to take only copper in the spirit of the month, and the difference is actually substantial. It may be worth a try for those with major struggles, or trying to consume more copper rich foods if you do not want to use supplements. Note that foods with copper do usually also have zinc though, and when I tried a combined copper/zinc supplement there was no equivalent effect.

>>25926
Anon what is the mechanism that's at play, broadly speculating?
What are we talking about in terms of dosage?
What varieties of copper supplement?
Will this work not just on libido suppression but on oxytocin addiction and withdrawl?

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Meds can mess with libido, and the convenience of making it easier to avert these sins. It feels chesty, though. How would the Lord see this?

The awareness and repentance are what's important - that's why you're on the planet. If you were to physically castrate yourself; not only is that understood to be bad for you personally, but it's rather like taking horse tranquilizers to take all awareness away and hoping that that includes taking culpability away with it. Launch any assault on sin that you want - but don't lobotomize yourself to do it. I don't mind if it alters your awareness and reality results in being a bit mis-shapen - just don't lose all sight of it.

>>25941
I heard it said somewhere that demons have enticed impotent old men to commit acts of sexual perversity and becoming sexual predators. So even without working equipment, the demons will still find a way to stir the passion in the heart if we haven't brought it under control.

>>24929
they call us "Nigger Cattle"

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>>24929
>while keeping it hidden for so long.
Lol.

>>25961
👀

I'm spiraling down hard, please pray for me, it's getting real bad

>>26031
The Lord Jesus is always by your side, lean hard on Him Anon. You can do it!!  :)

>>26031
Remember we don't go up to Jesus, it's Him who wants to come down to us. Relax and let Him love you, broken as you are.

And we're praying for you, anon.

And I've just spent a good chunk of today's morning looking at lewd stuff.
Sometimes I get so fed up with myself.

I'm going to share some advice I heard that I think is good.
Begin each morning on your knees, dedicating your whole being to God. And beyond just saying that, dedicate: 
>your hands, to be used as God wills
>your  feet, to be directed where they should go
>your voice, to say what God will have you say
>your mind, to think on whatever is good, pure, and holy
>your heart, to be renewed and to feel what you should feel
It doesn't have to be word for word of course, but you get the idea. 
The goal  of this, in fact, isn't simply to be rid of one or two sins, but to ultimately be made perfect.
 Its not something you're doing yourself, its Christ Jesus renewing your heart and mind. All you're doing is surrendering to that, and even then you can only do so by the Grace of God. The fact you event have a conscious at all telling you that you should be rid of sin is because of God along with your existence of course. The reason why I emphasis this is because its not some 'lifehack' you're doing in your own strength.  That's not to say you shouldn't try to do good, but the key point is again that it is Christ who is renewing you, but the only reason you can succeed in doing good, in sticking with the choice to go good and ultimately in even being able to make the choice to do it in the first place it is due to His strength not your own.

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I have been watching porn for who knows how long, I think if I got outside more and had more engaging social interactions/obligations it would keep me more occupied but there's no one in my area who can I meet.

I'm going to try deleting everything again and hope for a clean NYE.

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>>26076
I like this idea anon, dedicating your life every morning to the total will of God, submitting fully to His guidance.

Here's my version, in prayer form:

>Our Father who art in heaven hallowed be Thy name
>Thy kingdom come Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven
>Guide our hands toward Justice
>Accept our hearts with grace
>Instruct our feet unto the righteous path
>And comfort us with Your providence 
>So that we may fulfill Your purposes.
>Except our offering O Lord and may your Holy Spirit guide our way.

>>24859

It could be that there is still some things that you haven't given over to him as far as giving your life over to Him and believing on Him.  

If that is not the case, then simply pray for it and trust.  If you have unbelief, then ask Him to help your unbelief.

I'm in the midst of similar trials at the moment, and He keeps pulling me up and encouraging me in various ways.  In the midst of stubborn sin, the message to me seems to be to trust Him, even in this, my failings.

Peter walked on water for a little bit and sank, but Jesus pulled him up and kept him from drowning.  "Why did you doubt?"  I don't think He was guilt tripping Peter, I think he was inviting him and the apostles to reflect on that and chew on it.

In the last couple of months I don't know how often I've been like, "Just kill me God, I'm unfit for the whole life and pursuit of You.  Or I will kill myself!"

Then, not a few days ago I just sorta came to the resolution I wasn't going to entertain ending my life anymore, against my judgement.

"Wait on the LORD: Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: Wait, I say, on the LORD” (Psalm 27:14, KJV)

Joyce Meyer of all people gave me some insight, she said on a TV sermon that being couragous doesn't mean not feeling the emotions of anxiety etc, it just means to step up to the challenges.  In light of the garden of Gethsemene, I think she might be right.  If Jesus was that distraught in the face of the coming threats, I think we probably will be too.

>>25870
>w
James 3
1Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

Start verbally speaking what you want in your life to God, just thinking about it in your heart doesn't do it.  For whatever reason.  Ask God to take Your thoughts captive.

I keep forgetting this stuff, but when I remember to do it, and I do it with the knowledge that nothing is too hard, then I start seeing fruitfullness.  My testimony for tonight.  Try it, and give Him and you time to reap the goodness.

The power of life and death is in the tongue.

I believe in God, at least notionally I do, but I dislike Christianity. I say that while barely trying to take part in it but the spirit of it's in the trying so here I am. I invite the whole board to tell me why the Bible is such a fuckin mess.

This book is supposed to be the literal word of God but in the Old Testament you've got the all-loving God being less generous with it than I'd be and I'm a falliable degenerate bug-man who exists materially to throw his own shit around the enclosure until I'm dead in less than a blink of an eye.

And then Jesus comes down, God's first "thing" that he made before the rest of us, and so he doesn't dismiss leprosy from the world out of hand however much faith that would or wouldn't cause, but only spares the burden of a dozen or so people who show up in front of him and the explanation for why/why not isn't plainly printed because it's not important to know a thing like that.

His whole adolescent years aren't featured and I don't mind because it doesn't contradict the teachings of the religion but it makes me suspicious why the selectivity on what gets into the book.

Then there's a bunch of people who can't square the circle of modern science with the classic camel rider literature who are damned, both literally and metaphorically damned, because no one explains why things are the way they are either in the book or in reality. This includes my father, my brother, my aunt, my cousin, just about everyone frankly who's propped up my life.

*Why* make sins necessary in order to live, as one example? I mean the act of making them a prerequisite in the beginning and in the first place. A man with no desire is a man who has died, but too much love is a sin. Too much sustenance is a sin. And I get why their excess is sinful, I do, but the love one hurts since I can ignore hunger and turn it off but emotional support, or social support, or physical or any kind of support, you've made it a sin to over-produce... like a commodity where if you supply too much then there's not enough demand and what you've got is worthless then. You can over-give and that then is somehow pegged to desire.

It's just an absolute fuckin mess and nobody cleans it up because of the excuse of the faith first approach; but not everybody's going to have the near-death burning bush huffing experience that I've had in order to convert, even I'm not sure why I've got divine grace or if it was just blind coincidence or something else.

But I'm tired of not knowing basically the entire planets' worth of this stuff. You've had 2000 years to answer just about every question that could cause doubt yet the cupboard's still perpetually bare. I'm at 8 paragraphs into the rant so I'll pick one last thing to round off this dumpster of a post. You know how the animals "automatically" believe in God and trust him for their food, even though they're meant to be soulless and incapable of that sort of thing and it leads to questions like well why do they still run from the fox and things? Well, why does Jesus use these inaccurate analogies like that? Why would God use inaccurate language when conveying things to ordinary lay people in his book?'

Could you not sit us down with a pencil or a chisel and tablet and spell out some of it more coherently? I'm asking the Dad who's meant to be there for me, not the material one who's covered in sins like he has fleas. Your religion is not sensible, happy January, I hope the fatugue of last year wears off.

Thanks for your time

>>25870
Wrestling with the allowing bad things to happen as well. God has also been fairly vividly evident in my life.   I have been getting fruitful things from earnestly seeking Him.  

With free will in the picture, it's hard to see a faithful wife in the picture with the way women are these days, and free will in the picture but I also long for the wife He promised me.  

If God is up in heaven rejoicing in Job's victories and steadfastness in spite of everything, I suppose he's doing the same for me.

Despite all the traps and snares He's rooting for humanity to wrestle with God and man and to prevail.

So, he's also rooting for women to prevail too with patience, and the whole nine.  I know I should have the same attitude, but I'm not there yet.  I can believe in the power and outstreached hand, having seen glimmers myself, but believing in people, women on any level like He believes in me?

How?

But God.  I suppose he'll finish the work eventually, but I will indeed marvel when it happens.

>>26266
This is the damn near psychotic point I was getting at in my rant. Women view love like an economics problem. If you have a lot of it, supply outstrips demand and what you've got is worth less. You need to love less, anon. I'm not just saying that to be funny. If Oxytocin is the drug/hormone increasing in supply when you love, then your sin is not merely lust - it's gluttony. Even if the thing you're a glutton for is outwardly wholesome or denying of the need for balanced reciprocity, you're trying to be a fatter man and in this respect it is wrong.

Try to make sense of that.

Then women also do this thing where they keep several suitors in their head and do things that are a bit outwardly romantic or suggestive with them in front of you while making efforts at mentally cucking you. If you were to kill yourself over it, be glad if they devote five minutes to being sad about that before they get off knowing they rejected weakness and got a 'strong' prize instead.

Every woman is like this. I've known exceptions who were mostly asexual, but every woman once you declare romantic interest in them is opening you up to some fallen world bullshit since women's attraction is based on dominance and degradation.

So that which is necessary for life, or the only way we've got for putting souls onto this part of the universe and performing the opposite of death, it's based on degradation and necessitates sin while you wait on God to tell you why this is the case or hope somebody finds out & clues you in before you kick the bucket.

I'm just going to learn the October man sequence and trick one since no woman is otherwise ever going to help to alleviate my sin or honor God more by intent. You'll achieve a better state by seemingly some kind of accident.

>>26267
Yeah, I do think I might have naively expected too much in my romantic history.  I knew in my head that I wasn't going to get as much as I gave to ladies, but I guess we start to understand what that means better over time; how to conduct oneself and attitudes to hold within relationships I mean.  

Relational reciprocity and sexual satisfaction were gods too, I really went overboard.  Gluttony is a good way to put it.

I'm not sure how I'm going to be "okay" with whatever mess my new lady is, how I'm supposed to "deal" or "cope" but God is doing stuff to my heart.  It is good, it's evident.

If I hadn't seen how God attracted ladies to me in my younger years despite the lack of machismo or understanding how depraved women's attraction is, I would have lost hope in this season. In this season there have been ladies attracted to me as a more gentle "pathetic" man.  One could speculate it's for ulterior motives, but at the same time if Isaac waited for God to bring him a good wife, I can too I suppose.  She wasn't perfect, but neither was he, blah blah blah.  It was good overall though.

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Since becoming born again and becoming closer to God, i have soo much Satanic and Satanic enabling stuff, modded consoles, piracy files, anime merchandise, piracy enabling ebook readers along with things that are not sinful but don't bring me closer to God. I've deleted all the porn games, and almost all games with sex appeal along with anything that has sex appeal. This board will defend piracy but it's often breaking the law. I only listen to Jesus music, Bible audio books and spiritual Christian teachers. I'm only going to buy whatever media i want to learn from that should get me closer to God. All i do i use random Bible verse generators and ask questions on /x/ and here. I have to turn off images to go to any alt chan or else i get porn, even this board has sexualized anime images sometimes but i just hide the posts.

it's been 1 month 1 week and 1 day since i got born again and left porn for good, i haven't fapped or had any desire to do so, i have something better than dehumanizing cruel and unloving porn. I was so hateful of women, i can show love to women now, i can love myself more now, and i show love in a correct way not the way of a secret sadist. I hope you can get closer to God and defeat your image board culture of sin. Don't waste your time debating /pol/ or /leftypol/ it's pointless. Go and ask God to give you a group of friends. I spent 17 years as a image board robot debating people and fapping, it was a sad life. God loves you and is there for you.

I hope you guys are doing well, may God bless you.

>>26278
Glad to hear this anon, and youre off to a really great start. Dont be too hard on yourself but continue pursuing God and the righteous lifestyle. Hopefully this board can help you on your journey, any questions of thoughts you have let us know. :)

>>26278
So happy to hear that, anon.

 Remember that is Christ who saves you: you deserve nothing, you achieve nothing by your own strength. After I converted I was renewed too, radically so, but I slowly became arrogant, I thought I was "good". I didn't explicitly say it, of course, but deep down I had this belief of "I'm good now, I do all this God-things, I put in so much effort".

 Grace, anon, be always open to God's grace and love. This is not an anti-cath speech, "all grace, no works". I'm Catholic myself. Works are both the fruits of God's grace and the way you open your heart for more of His love to pour in. Surrendering yourself to His love is the most important work you can do -it is probably the only important work you can do-. All other "virtuous" things you may do are just a product of God's grace. Give Him thanks for all you good actions, for they are not truly yours.

Enjoy your new-found faith. Please, pray for us, anon, now that you're fully basking in His light. Rejoice in being in love with Love itself.

I'm truly happy for you. It's obvious you're genuine and it's always an immense pleasure to find someone who you share a love with.

 Oh! and if you haven't, try to find a real-life group to life your faith with. As you point out, Internet faith is not fully-realized faith.

God bless you, anon, God bless you.

>>26279
Yes, i've been coming here for since the original 8chan was populated. I won't be hard on myself. Thank you.

>>26280
Yes, it's all God, i tried to leave porn by myself and could only do it for a few days. Without God i am dead. I do have a real life Christian group, i'm slowly losing the need for image boards. I will pray for all of you, God bless you.

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i need a wife
it's no longer a matter of i want one, i NEED one. paul says that a life of chastity is not meant for everyone, and most men cannot stop themselves from fornicating, and therefore it is best that he find a wife as soon as possible. the problem is i have no idea where to find a worthwhile one. dating apps are useless. all the women at my church are either underage or already married. i truly don't know where to turn at this point.

Sometimes I wonder if I even want to be free... Please pray for me. Whenever you read this message, please spare a prayer.

I'm so sick of this crap and, at the same time, lack any kind of drive or motivation to change. "My grace is sufficient", and yet, I keep fugging it up.

>>26721
I pray that God answers your prayers, Anon.