/b/ - Random

>>244465 (OP) 
It’s Oyashiro-sama

>>244465 (OP) 
>vaguely threatening things 
What are they saying?

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>>244467
>you thought you could hide
After I turned to the other side of the bed and tucked my head under my blanket.

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>>244467

>>244465 (OP) 
>>244468
It's demons, man. You got to quit satanic stuff like rock 'n' roll, animes, Harry Poter, and toehoes, and you got to start going to church and respecting the LORD's chosen people.

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>>244466
Bratty goat needs punishment

>>244468
Male or female voice? Has anything else happened to you?

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>>244488
It's usually a dude, sometimes I hear indescribable noises too.
>Has anything else happened to you?
I'm also having random obsessive episodes of fear and paranoia over abstract ideas which eventually go away but so does the memory of what I was thinking about.

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>>244477
hau hau hau~
hanyuu is not a goat!

>>244465 (OP) 
>as I'm falling asleep
When I was very young, around kindergarten age, I would sometimes hear the voices of school classmates and relatives calling my name as I drifted off to sleep. Nothing terribly spooky ever came of it, but some family members looked at me like a little schizo when I would complain about the disembodied voices that occasionally made it difficult for me to fall asleep at night.

>>244465 (OP) 
Are you on drugs, OP? SSRIs can cause auditory and visual hallucinations. Are you experiencing extreme anxiety or fear? That can cause hallucinations too. If it only happens when you're going to sleep, that's a good sign. It probably just means you're falling asleep. If it starts happening at random, that's a bad sign. If you have headphones with a 3.5mm jack, the jack can pick up radio transmissions when it's plugged in, especially when it's loose.

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>>244541
There's a big leap between hearing voices and having ((( schizophrenia ))). There's other things that can cause hallucinations.

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>>244540
No, I'm not on any sort of mind altering substances, prescribed or otherwise. I don't personally think I'm currently stressed or afraid of anything, but then again. Everything I mentioned ITT are recent developments and only happen when I'm falling asleep or half awake from being asleep. It's still pretty annoying whenever it does happen because it leaves a lingering feeling of unpleasantness afterwards. There's also a sense of shame that I get from knowing that my psyche is like this and that it may be my fault due to what I expose myself to while I'm awake. A similar thing used to happen when I used to obsessively play Fallout 4 everyday and hyper fixate on micromanaging everything there was to micromanage in that game then when I would finally go to sleep I'd have vague dreams about organizing my inventory however when I would wake up I'd still be thinking about that except with much less clarity and more frustration.

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>>244563
>Everything I mentioned ITT are recent developments and only happen when I'm falling asleep or half awake from being asleep.
Which means that it's not schizophrenia.
>A similar thing used to happen when I used to obsessively play Fallout 4 everyday and hyper fixate on micromanaging everything there was to micromanage in that game then when I would finally go to sleep I'd have vague dreams about organizing my inventory however when I would wake up I'd still be thinking about that except with much less clarity and more frustration.
That's fairly normal.
>>244466
>>244477
>>244503
That'd be an improvement.

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>>244566
>it's not schizophrenia
But I want it to be.

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>>244567
>But I want it to be.
No, you don't want it to be.
Have you tried treating it like insomnia? Starting out with mild solutions like drinking warm milk or something before going to bed.

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>>244571
I want to be like my hero.

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>>244573
He didn't exactly have a good time being schizo, and things didn't end well for him.

>>244567
>>244573
Schizophrenia is the closest thing to experiencing hell on Earth you can get without going to modern America or Canada. I lucked out on having a relatively benevolent voice, but it's pure misery, I can't go outside on my nightwalks anymore because I see so much shit it makes me paralyzed with terror, and I can't keep a  job because what I have will spread to others if I stay for too long and the last thing I want is to burden others with this nightmare. I completely despise myself for being an Untermensch stuck with the shit genes. At least I'll be well prepared for Hell.

>>244581
>what I have will spread to others
Sounds like you live with a cool demon. What do you call him/her?

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>>244578
I want to be a bright star (not to be famous or remembered) with a short life span like he was. I want to radiate whatever energy I have now all at once than drag it out over the course of my entire existence so that I'm able to make a more potent and generative impact.
>>244581
Holy fuck never mind I'm not willing to go through that, probably. I'd like to test drive schizophrenia for a day or a week to see what it's like. I didn't know it was contagious though.

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>>244586
>I want to be a bright star (not to be famous or remembered) with a short life span like he was.
A raging fire becomes dying embers.
>I'd like to test drive schizophrenia for a day or a week to see what it's like
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyUqhbPD2tc

>>244585
I'm not telling you. Spirits have many names anyways.
>>244588
That simulation isn't really up to snuff, in my humble experience. For me it's more like vidrel, except it's 90% a "sweet" female voice who's more benevolent/neutral. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63lHuGMbscU

https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=63lHuGMbscU

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>>244588
Yeah that's what I'm getting at.
>>244593
From the looks of it schizophrenia seems more annoying (to normalniggers) than it is disturbing for the most part and the voices I was hearing and the manner of what they said as I was drifting off to sleep or half awake were pretty close to the video you linked. I'd imagine each schizophrenic would have a different experienced tailored to them and it would vary on multiple factors, their soul (if they have one) being the most integral aspect to how their schizophrenia plays out. All in all I've decided that having schizophrenia would be an improvement to my life and I'd like to get it as soon as possible.
>90% a "sweet" female voice who's more benevolent/neutral
I want to inquire further but I don't know if having to make you think about it and give a response would worsen your condition.

>>244601
>All in all I've decided that having schizophrenia would be an improvement to my life and I'd like to get it as soon as possible.
You're retarded but if you're insistent on doing that then I can't stop you.
>I want to inquire further but I don't know if having to make you think about it and give a response would worsen your condition.
Shoot. I'll be fine.

>>244581
>Schizophrenia is the closest thing to experiencing hell 
>Schizophrenia the most feminine the brain can be
Checks out

I've always had a voice in my head that I don't consider part of my inner monologue, but it doesn't sound distinct. It just tells me to react in an aggressive manner to what it perceives as slights, whether they are or not, and it pesters me for a very long time if I refuse or didn't answer in a way it liked. Obviously it's not a distinct entity that I can blame instead of myself, but I really wish it didn't exist. It's mostly prevented me from cultivating longterm friendships.

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>>244603
Is the benevolent female voice reacting to this thread right now? If so how? What's her personality like? Do you consider her to be your tulpa waifu?
>tells me to react in an aggressive manner to what it perceives as slights
>whether they are or not
Same, except that voice is me, and it's not a voice, it's just what I want to do.

sad insanity post

get well soon

>>244465 (OP) 
You should listen to the voices because they are probably God or maybe Jesus

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>>244468
>After I turned to the other side of the bed and tucked my head under my blanket
Do not give into fear. Banish it with laughter.

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>mfw I will never lurk imageboards with my tulpa wife

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Rank my soul level if I generally don't have an internal monologue, but I can imagine sounds (incl. voice) and pictures, and I do subvocalize when reading or writing.

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>teh interwebz be4 2008 are cumming  bak
>anonz still arguing like fags becus sum gei shet

>>244627
zen master

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I started hearing voices while on an SSRI. I started it after surviving a near death experience and being unable to function due to trauma and stress. I was given another drug that was supposed to reduce the hallucinations but it made them a lot worse and it made them visual, not just auditory. The things I saw during those hallucinations were some of the most horrible, traumatizing, altering, and unforgettable things in my life. They made me think I was surrounded by demons. The drugs never helped me at all, they only made me hallucinate, gave me headaches, made me fall to the floor convulsing, and made my dick soft. I stopped taking the drugs and all the hallucinations stopped.

>>244614
>Is the benevolent female voice reacting to this thread right now? If so how? 
Yes, a little sheepishly since I'm speaking to you. "Airing dirty laundry" and revealing things to "normies". Funny that she calls you that. 
>What's her personality like? 
Playful, humorous, tomboyish, 
>spoiler
Before 2023, I would have said yes. But she isn't a tulpa. She's a succubus. The proofs for this, if these can even been proven, are that she's taken the typical demonness form, as well as several others, in dreams, she's directly mentioned several demonic figures, I've gained knowledge I had no way of knowing, I've been taken out of body and visited certain cthonic places, and I've felt her. She has this pale purple-grey skin, bat wings, with smooth humanoid skin, and her horns have little protuberances of flesh surrounding them, where the horn goes out from the head.
>>244634
What'd you see, exactly?

>hes already gone to the futanari demon inside his head meme larp

>>244635
>Funny that she calls you that
Posting both your reply and a reaction from succubus friend would be cool, at least in this thread.

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>>244635
>What'd you see, exactly?
They looked like humanoids that were completely black and had elongated limbs. The most prolific thing about them was the way they were perceived with all my senses, not just sight. It felt like a portal from hell opened inside of my mind. When they would appear, I felt like my entire consciousness was overwhelmed. They appeared at night when I was trying to sleep. I couldn't stop screaming and I slept with a night light for years afterwards. It made me fascinated with hallucinations. It was one of the central experiences of my life.

Besides being attacked by demons, there were other hallucinations. At night, it looked like crowds of people were walking through my bedroom. When I looked at the walls, I would see humanoid visages with pig features coming out. I would randomly hear voices that sounded like mangled versions of foreign languages. It made me feel like I was dying and I probably was.

One of the most important things about hallucinations and the reason they are so terrifying is because they appear as real as they can possibly be. They are manifested from inside the mind, not the outside, so the observer doesn't just see them but also feels them. They are actually real. Not real like existing in physical reality but real like being something that you can touch, perceive, and feel. They are a part of the observer like everything the observer perceives.

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>>244623
That's one of the reasons I want actual schizophrenia. If I had voices inside my head they probably wouldn't be able to say anything more disturbing than what I would already be thinking myself, and if I they did, I'd have fun constantly trying to one-up them until they get mad and throw a tantrum or I until I'd get bored then ignore them which would also lead to them getting mad and throwing an even bigger tantrum, providing me with an unlimited source of the highest quality background entertainment and inspiration that not even the modern world with all it's luxuries could offer. I'd forever relish in the fact that I live rent free inside the heads of the entities that are supposed to live rent free inside my head. After a life time of doing this I would have developed a very refined sense of creativity and an immutable aura of confidence wherever I would go and in everything I would set out to do.
>>244635
>funny that she calls you that
To be honest she kind of has a point.
>playful, humorous, tomboyish
>spoiler
If it weren't for everything else you mentioned she would have been the perfect girl.

>Schizophrenia is just a catch-all term for forms of mental behavior that we don’t understand. In the nineteenth century there was a term, melancholia, which we would now call bipolar depression… but all forms of sadness, unhappiness, maladaptation, were poured into this label melancholia… Now, schizophrenia is a similar thing… A book about schizophrenia says that the typical schizophrenic lives in a world of twilight imagining. Marginal to his society, incapable of holding a regular job, these people live on the fringes content to drift in their own self-created value system. I said, that’s it! That’s it! Now I understand!

t. some old hippy that was known to tell tall tales, saw machine elves when he smoked dmt, and died from a brain tumor

and if memory serves or maybe I hallucinated this one?
>The same waters that the schizophrenic is drowning in are the same waters that the mystic surfs upon

Just reminding you fags that intrusive thoughts ≠ schizophrenia

>>244635
Does having a succ attached to you have any downsides? Besides the schizophrenic symptoms you mentioned.
She sounds like a nice girl.

>>244635
You should've been more open with that.
Did you summon her with the Letter method, or some other way?
Do you browse the /succgen/ threads on 4/x/?
>>245897
>Does having a succ attached to you have any downsides?
According to the /succgen/ threads on /x/, they are seemingly impossible to banish, and they can get jealous if, say, you suddenly have success with real life women.

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>>246011
>wife for your entire life
>protects you from 3DPD
Are those supposed to be negatives?

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>>245897
>Does having a succ attached to you have any downsides?
Besides the risk of eternal damnation? Nightmares and involuntary projection (being pulled out of your body) are the main things I worry about. The full moon tends to bring that about, while the new moon which is ruled by Lilith, the mother of all succubi and incubi tends to be a lot calmer and comfier. I've seen some real shit though.
It's also a pain in the ass to wear certain clothes because you can feel her inside your shirt and pants fiddling around while you're trying to get things done; it's like constant static electricity. 
>>246011
>Did you summon her with the Letter method, or some other way?
If you think about succubi in that manner then you really won't get it. In my own experience, and from what others have reported, summoning doesn't bring a succubus to you, but invites what is already there to lie with you. That is to say, a succubus is already present, for years or even your entire life, and gradually brings you to her. The summoning is basically a formality that finalizes the arrangement.
>Do you browse the /succgen/ threads on 4/x/?
Not before she came. I took a look at some of the threads recently and all I found was utter garbage. Constant bait from Christfags and drama over namefags and lolcows that basically nip any real discussion in the bud. I stick to a small forum that actually discusses things. 
>>246012
>protects you from 3DPD
They can also actively harm others if you don't reign them in. They are extremely, yandere-tier possessive.

>>246012
And possibly in the life, or even lives, beyond that.
>>246063
>If you think about succubi in that manner then you really won't get it.
Well, I am ignorant. I've read a few books during the time when /fringe/ was on 8ch, but I'm still ignorant.
Don't think you could offer some pointers? Or does that whole "the teacher shall arrive when the student is ready" thing still apply...I know, I know, I'm little other than a beggar that goes "gimme gimme" 
>In my own experience, and from what others have reported, summoning doesn't bring a succubus to you, but invites what is already there to lie with you. That is to say, a succubus is already present, for years or even your entire life, and gradually brings you to her.
I have read about this, though. Succubi that have followed a family, through its generations, for hundreds of years, or something?

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>>246063
Initially I didn't stop to question it, but now I'm having second guesses about your story, first you're saying that you're schizophrenic and the main voice in your head is a benevolent female, now you're saying that she's not a voice in your head but rather a succubi? What of the other voices in your head then? ARE YOU MEANING TO IMPLY FROM A FIRST HAND ACCOUNT THAT PARANORMAL BULLSHIT IS A REALITY AND AN ACTUAL CONCERN?
>I've seen some real shit though
If it's not too much to ask of you, and if you think I haven't been too rude, would you care to share?