/b/ - Random

only the dead can know peace from this FUN


New Reply
Name
×
Email
Subject
Message
Files Max 5 files32MB total
Tegaki
Password
Flag
[New Reply]

 Dress to impress!
[Index] [Catalog] [Banners] [Logs] [Archive]
No.197615
VID_470660705_034515_139.mp4
[Hide] (378.9KB, 480x480, 00:08)
>be me
>24yo M
>alone in the house
>feel2masturbate.mp3
>time to jigle the wewe
>prepare soap
>wait
>i remember i can use other things better than my hand
>idea.png
>wew
>using a fork handout the big circle the used to hang that fork was more than enough to size my dick
>happi hapi yipe
>oiled my dick up, oild the handout
>put it
>omfg i cant rub up and down it stucked
>panic.png
>my cock turned purple
>try to put more oil so it can slip
>it worked
>the worse 5min in my entire life
>decide go to bed
>morning
>my pant is full with cum and piss and kinda brown strips it might a cumed blood and my dick is purple 
>i cant piss
>go to hospital
>fuck
>doctor laugh at me
>screw it
>he squeezed my pp till it blows more brown lookin cum
>pp not purple anymore, yippe

Note : fuck zzzchan captcha
Replies: >>197634 >>197635 >>197660 >>197693 >>197698
No.197622
2e57dc7d5c5190326e7506da1aa5f7e1c9ed61316d1abee46212111d036acdd5.jpg
[Hide] (233KB, 550x598) Reverse
>using a fork handout the big circle the used to hang that fork
I can't react to your post if I don't understand what the fuck you're talking about here.
>fuck zzzchan captcha
Leagues easier to understand than anything you've posted here. Are you drunk?
Replies: >>197633
No.197633
Untitled189_20240417182244.png
[Hide] (85.2KB, 1280x1280) Reverse
>>197622
Understood?
Also the captcha is very hard
Replies: >>197635 >>197636
No.197634
3af90ffe2ac063a1a9cbbb83654052f9291cec9fbdb3abbd27a90ccf11b873f8.png
[Hide] (1.6MB, 858x1179) Reverse
98ff606463def0bebab8f374c30d87c1541edeb3be00682e348ae781c729f403.png
[Hide] (7.7MB, 2894x4093) Reverse
>>197615 (OP) 
>>197623
UH OH!
No.197635 
>>197615 (OP) 
>mp4
Not funny, back to tiktok.
>prepare soap
Are you circumcised by any chance?
>i remember i can use other things better than my hand
Like an onahole? Otherwise you're just losing.
>Note : fuck zzzchan captcha
The only problem is that it's often ambiguous whether a piece is filled or not. Otherwise you just have mental retardation.
>>197623
KYS soynigger.
>>197633
I don't know what that is. I guess it's some american thing?
No.197636
USB.png
[Hide] (9KB, 750x1000) Reverse
>>197633
>understood?
No, I don't understand. Where do you buy your forks from?
Replies: >>197655 >>197668
No.197655
0d674bb1-0610-4ad9-8f44-13bcdbc0fa96.gif
[Hide] (197.6KB, 390x380) Reverse
>>197636
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=I8h5ODHGaCE
He clearly bought it from James May
Replies: >>197661 >>197684
No.197660 
>>197615 (OP) 
>>be me
Well who else would you be aside a flaming faggot?
Replies: >>197666
No.197661
61cd916cfe34cf5214ebe57d30d8a0090d08cb1bc85ba9d501aa8db8f164c107.png
[Hide] (170.9KB, 500x333) Reverse
>>197655
Behead those who insult Captain Sensible Pace, and his ghastly and appalling striped shirt
No.197666 
>>197660
Im god itself lmao
No.197668 
>>197636
Thursday in March, my friends and I went to get cooking utensils and I saw this fork, not for eating, but for spaghetti (used to transfer spaghetti from one dish to another).
The important thing is that I don't use it, but I left it as a piece of art
No.197684
ClipboardImage.png
[Hide] (202.2KB, 395x501) Reverse
>>197655
seems about the right size for OP
No.197693 
>>197615 (OP) 
I'm really glad no one actually talks like this and your insanity is confined to obscure imageboards.
Replies: >>197699
No.197698 
>>197615 (OP) 
I'm going to assume you fucked an eggplant.
No.197699 
>>197693
No, people talk like this on tiktok and reddit, and this insanity is leaking onto obscure imageboards
No.197766 
>it gets replies
Replies: >>197864
No.197864 
>>197766
>it gets saged
[New Reply]
[Index] [Catalog] [Banners] [Logs] [Archive]
16 replies | 9 files
Connecting...
Show Post Actions

Actions:

Captcha:

Select the solid/filled icons
- news - rules - faq -
jschan 1.4.1