When a righteous man turneth away from his righteousness, and committeth iniquity, and dieth in them; for his iniquity that he hath done shall he die. Again, when the wicked man turneth away from his wickedness that he hath committed, and doeth that which is lawful and right, he shall save his soul alive.
(Ezekiel 18)
So long as we are alive we have time for repentance. And if your soul remains alive then there is time to look up to heaven and pray for God's power of salvation.
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?
(Luke 11)
Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons: but in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him.
(Acts 10)
You think you're unique following the horrible attitude of the world, the wisdom of this world is foolisness. God laughs at the little dust particles on this earth with their big ideas and self-help and religions. God does not want hateful wicked annoying deluded men in the kingdom of God... so, what can anyone do. God doesn't have any need for wickedness and hate in the kingdom of God! And this is the judge of all judges, he will not let sin go unpunished and He has no need for those who work evil. If He just forgets it all and lets you in then he's not a just and holy God. The whole thing is about justification. Jesus went to the cross for sins. Maybe you don't want your sins paid, okay, you can deal with them on judgment day. But for those who want them paid before that, who want to deal with them now, and have God in their life, even just a tiny drop from Him. Then believe in the Lord Jesus Christ who has been raised by the power of God and given kingship of eternity.