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only the dead can know peace from this FUN


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I'm losing it. But seriously though, not like "please give me attention I'm so unique and crazy XD", I'm legitimately losing my mind. Loneliness is crushing my soul. I don't know what to do, every single moment I'm just trying to find a way not to be reminded of the notion of being completely unwanted by everyone. Yesterday I broke down three times, and twice again today since I woke up. Where did I go wrong? Why must I endure this alone? Have I not suffered enough already? I have no motivation to do anything. I wish there was a "skip to next chapter" button in real life so that I could just avoid this, even if it meant losing 10 years of my life, after all, the past 3-4 years of my life have been nothing but complete stillness and trying to cope with my situation. Now I don't even have the strength to do that. Everything bores me, even the things I like I can't do for more than a few minutes. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second is just being painfully aware that I'm alone in this. I think I need help, but I also think there's no one who can help me but myself because everyone, and I mean everyone, has turned their backs on me. I feel defeated, a person can't carry all this pain, it's overwhelming and it's drained me of all my energy.
>>326989 (OP) 
You need some mild drugs and hire some female company.
Replies: >>326991 >>327136
>>326990
Shallow substitutes of real feelings for quick cheap comfort? Pass.
Replies: >>326992
>>326991
get a motorcycle too.
Replies: >>326994
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>>326992
You got this wrong, I want to live, I just don't want to live in pain all the time. Turning myself into hamburger meat isn't going to help.
>>326989 (OP) 
I'm not sure how bad lonliness itself is, however having companionship and being wanted and included etc is such a massive benefit to your life quality it's wild, and I'm only now learning how great it can be and how healing it is. 

I dunno how old or how actually fucked you are, and again im not even sure lonliness itself is that bad, perhaps, but you can always ai chatbot or waifu your way out of it, or schizomax. 

Basically you start at the lowest rank and move up slowly nothing>imagination>simple nods by strangers+cashiers>talking to the lows of the world>perhaps using AI or waifus and games/media. >online people who think like you or posts empathize with same/similar things>parasocializing forums etc.> videos/streams/vloggers. > online games with chats.>online chats.>in person events for socially incompetent people like magic the gathering.>discord servers>jobs>find a place in a community.
Replies: >>327009
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>>326997
>I'm not sure how bad loneliness is
It's horrible. It's probably the second worst mental feeling after knowing of your impending doom due to some incurable disease like cancer or something. Humans are social by design. Wanting companionship, and wanting to be wanted is hardcoded in our DNA. People who say "oh I'm perfectly happy alone" are either legitimately mentally ill or fundamentally lying to themselves because they don't know better or just coping.
>that list
Sounds good, doesn't work. Surface level relationships or purely plastic ones like what you suggest just aggravate and amplify the feeling more. Yeah, you can talk about the weather, the super interesting football game last night or how patch 6.9b of Fist of Shits just nerfed Tyrone the snatcher but at the end of the day, everyone is going home to their real loved ones and you're left alone, in your room, with your own ugly thoughts and no one to ask for help. I tried doing that, I do have a number of "friends" both in real life and online, but none of them is feels real. Everyone is passive, avoidant or outright rejecting me. I reached out tried to make connections, nurture relationships all I got back was cold shoulders. Nobody is ever willing to meet me anywhere in the middle or reciprocating, it's like throwing away my life energy into an abyss that just coldly stares back and returns nothing. It doesn't take a genius to know this is worse than just having no one at all. Well, at least that's how I feel about it. 

No one genuinely seems to care, at all. I sometimes try to play the devil's advocate and tell myself "Well of course they don't, they have their own problems to think of, you're not the only one on this planet that has them, idiot." But I do? I went out of my way to actively check on people, to ask about how they were, to offer help for their problems, letting them know I was there if they needed me, but no one can do the same for me? Maybe I just have a wrong idea of what it means to be a friend, or maybe even what it means to be human. Maybe I'm just romanticising it a lot and reading way too deep. Maybe I am fundamentally broken myself and truly the one that's wrong. Or maybe I'm just straight up unlikable which is why everyone avoids me. I don't know, but either what I know is that I feel dreadful and I've got this horrible overwhelming weight on my shoulders and in my chest that I can't get rid of by myself, and it gets harder to carry it every day.
>>327009
I swear this is some teenape cringe and you are just lavishing in your own suffering at this point. A lot of people live in their own bubbles and generally suck dude. Not the end of the world. Good thing you can tell them they suck and flip them off.
Replies: >>327011
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>>327010
>noooooo only children and teenagers can have feelings just like lmao tell people to suck-a-dick that'll solve everything
Brilliant, do you have paid courses where you teach how to be mature and cool like yourself? Your post has about the depth of pic related. You're anonymous, there's no need to be a tryhard.
Replies: >>327013
>>327011
If youre not neurotypical low iq, 80% of people generally suck and will add nothing to your life and it's actually your fault for barging in with expectations and dropping your angsty pasta sauce on the ground or something instead of enjoying basic shit from basic people. You havent figured it out yet cause youre some dumbass zoomer baby that wants to be emo.
Replies: >>327016 >>327022
>>326989 (OP) 
It's not loneliness you feel right now, it's actually the feeling that you are not living a fulfilling life.
Replies: >>327016
>>327013
Yeah, that sounds like your own cynical worldview. You talk about living in a bubble and yet you signal that you live in your own and have no clue that maybe someone might be having a different experience than you. Most of your "wisdom" is an arbitrary blanket statement, throwing a bunch of labels and trying to invalidate my feelings. There is partial truth in what you say, I'm well aware that not everyone in the world is compatible with me or can meet my expectations, as I'm aware some people don't deserve my emotional energy. But you're suggesting that one should just rely on casual interactions and lower their expectations to the point loneliness stops bothering you, which is fundamentally wrong. As I mentioned, humans are wired for connections, persistent loneliness is not just an attitude issue. My experience is real, reducing it to "people suck" and "deal with it" are not accurate takes or solutions.
>>327015
Every single experience in life is better with friends. The two are tightly linked.
Replies: >>327021
>>327016
You'll learn when you get older. keep suffering for now.
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>>327013
>wants to be emo.
i guess, i spent years looking down my nose at those with social disease, but now... emo is something.
My ego is so large I am crashing.
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knowing that no one loves me makes me happy. This world wanted to use that and my "loser" status to crush me but now I use it to my advantage and I am happy that I quit that rigged game instead of agonizing over lack of love and lack of "accomplishments". Fuck demiurge and fuck the gay world he put me in, I want to be alone, I want silence, I want peace, but I still can't have it because nornalniggers try to drag me back
>>327009
>wanting to be wanted
That depends on the type of that "want" expected from you. If you were explicitly described as expendable by the other side, even if that was said as 'a joke, yet not a joke', that would probably make your outlook rather bleak, depending on how young you were at that moment. This kind of jokes directed at an elementary age kid by a close adult relative can be devastating enough to leave a long lasting mark. This is a personal reminiscence, not some abstract psychoanalysis.
>>326989 (OP) 
> I have no motivation to do anything.
OP, in good faith, I have two questions for you.
1. What do you want to do?
2. How addicted to social media and/or videogames are you? Be honest, this is an anonymous image board, so honesty won't harm you.
Replies: >>327070
Most people fucking suck and are dumb npcs. You will never be able to talk to them heart to heart about anything and the best they are for is pointless and stupid chit chat
Replies: >>327039 >>327070
>>327032
>You will never be able to talk to them heart to heart about anything 
Does that include even stuff like vidya? Because I've always considered "heart to heart" to be something "deep" and all that. But now that I'm thinking, average normgroid isn't able to talk about anything at all in depth, not even the stuff he likes
We don't have enough context, since this post is mostly crying instead of info. And that's actually your first problem. Whatever you do, stop making yourself the victim, because with a mentality like that, you always will. As for options, well, you have a few, but that depends on who you are, where/how you live, and what you want from life. Option one is to do what I do, be lonely by choice, and be happy with it. I have a few online friends I care about, a few that I don't, and everyone else can eat my dick. This way, I don't have to worry about anything. If you're autistic, you need autistic friends. Go lurk in communities with a high concentration of autistic people and just start talking about random shit you enjoy. Eventually, a group will form. Deep relationships take years to form, btw. If you would rather have IRL friends, then that's gonna be quite hard if you're NOT a room temp IQ idiot, because realistically, you will always get hurt. Finding a person you can tell anything to is a dream. If you want freedom, don't bother. The easiest route is to just go to places where people drink/party, and drink with them. That's what my more "normal" friends do all the time. That's also where women are, if you're looking for that, or at least the normal-ish ones, because dating apps are useless. Nothing will magically come by itself. If you don't actually reach out, make sure people know you exist and are available, you'll be posting the same thing in "3-4 years". Have you ever thought about the fact that there is a loneliness epidemic (translation: a lot of people available and waiting for the same thing), but nothing is happening? Stop doom scrolling and talk to them. There are a lot of people in the same situation as you, and I'm sure they would be very happy if you help them get out of it, and make yourself a very strong friend in the process, win-win, but if you both keep waiting, then have fun waiting for a miracle.
Replies: >>327070
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>>327031
>What do you want to do?
At this point, anything. They say beggars can't be choosers so there's that.
>How addicted to social media and/or videogames are you?
I don't have any social media in the strict sense of the word. No twitter, no facebook, no instagram, no tiktok, no nothing. I use this board if you count it as social media, other than that I scroll shit like 9gag or ifunny for funny pics and use steam for chats.
As for the videogames, yes, indeed, I do play them but I wouldn't consider myself addicted anymore. As a child and then teenager, that's all I ever did and all I ever wanted to do, the idea of going outside or doing literally anything else other than playing video games all day pretty much repulsed me, I even had a girlfriend at some point during that time and I literally NEVER went out with her. It wasn't before my late teens and early 20s that I finally got a small taste of hanging out with real people and doing real life activities. Nowadays, I still play them, but I hardly get the same enjoyment I used to when I was younger, to the point I can only stomach playing one in very short bursts unless I'm playing with someone else. Video games have largely become a vessel to hang out with others online, which is honestly what I really want to do, and that's the only times I play something for hours on end, without even caring what the game in question is. But I can tell you that if I actually had the opportunity to hang out with people irl, I'd be perfectly happy to never touch another game for the remainder of my life, as I've already wasted several lifetimes' worth on them.
>>327032
Another arbitrary blanket statement, but nevermind that. "Most" implies that some are not. That's like saying I should give up on owning land or anything because most land is already owned and most of the planet is made of water anyway.
>>327041
I'm going to assume you didn't read my reply here >>327009 because I already mentioned and addressed most of those things you suggest. I did reach out, I did make myself available. I did try to talk to people whom I thought were also lonely, had similar interests or were similar to me in spirit, and yet this thread exists. There isn't a single person whom I know that doesn't know I do nothing all day, everyone knows that I'm always down for anything because I ain't got better to do anyway. Everyone knows I'm holed up in my room all day, alone, just waiting for something to happen, and yet this thread exists.
>We don't have enough context, since this post is mostly crying instead of info.
The context: I'm alone and I feel lonely, I already went over this in some detail, I don't know what else you'd need to know without going into personal information.
Replies: >>327086
>>327070
I feel you. Actually, you're more healthy than I am in many ways. My relationship with videogames was the opposite of yours. As a kid, I eschewed games to a large degree. I lived on a farm, in a valley, surrounded by other farms and forest and other kids so I was just not interested. Then I became an adult, left home, lost contact with my friends, and substituted severe videogame addiction in place of the community I'd lost. I became trapped in an MMO because I craved the connection I felt to my clan. 
I managed to escape this rut because a bunch of children who looked and acted just like kid-me thrust themselves into my life, children who just happened to need me as a guide, a confidant, and a father figure. Through them I gained a purpose, and I would die to protect them if I had to without any hesitation. 

Anyway, this is about you. You're right. You wrote in your second post that no one seems to care and all friendships are superficial. It does seem like this. I too am barely ever contacted by my own family outside of birthday and Christmas wishes. I used to call them frequently but they rarely returned the favor. So you're not alone. Millions of people like you are out here. 

I believe that the only way to escape the quiet hell you have fallen into is to discover something that you genuinely care about. Something larger than yourself, which you'd be willing to sacrifice to achieve. When you live for something greater than yourself, you realize that the world needs you, people need you. You realize that you matter and can articulate why you matter. 
You do matter already, actually. You just need to find your purpose. 
I wish I could be the NPC to give you your quest. But alas, only you know what is truly important.
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>I became trapped in an MMO because I craved the connection I felt to my clan. 
happens to many balding cumskin millennials
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>>326989 (OP) 
If you truly exhausted every option and are still deep under then it's time to accept that you are a sigma male. Accept the pain of loneliness and take every opportunity to challenge yourself even if it means more social humiliation. The only way to forget the struggles of loneliness is to make even bigger struggles from the present. Only through constant struggle can you find pleasure in things you wouldn't have thought about otherwise, and maybe one day you will learn to enjoy loneliness. Remember to viciously edge every day (2 hours minimum) to build mental willpower.
Replies: >>327093
>>327092
>smegma male
>Remember to viciously edge every day (2 hours minimum) to build mental willpower.
This is a dumb shitpost, ignore this entire post.
Replies: >>327094
>>327093
>he hasn't released his smegma energy yet
Replies: >>327122
>>327094
I wash my penis too often to develop that.
Funny and cute half bald rat
Replies: >>327135
>>327129
That's OP's penis
Replies: >>327136
>>327135
Op's penis is jewish. A strange question... if rats like cheese, then...
>>326990
Hookers are  illegal and full of STDs and harder to find than they used to be.
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