/2hu/ - Touhou

yeah

>>1543
Prepare your balls.

I've had enough testicular damage for one lifetime, sorry.

She's got Sakuya for that.

>>1545
SpaceJin-fag detected.

>>1546
Sakuya is a woman. Women don't have balls.

>>1545
Don't worry, she'll ask Patchouli to heal them... And then she would bite them again and again.

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>>1548
She is a maid first and foremost.

>>1550
Maids are women. Men are butlers. Butlers have balls. Maid don't have them.

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>>1549
(SIGH)
Again?!

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>>1552
Yes please

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>>1553
God dammit.

would you kindly blow your brains out?

>>1555
Would you kindly blow me?

I want suckers who refresh overboard to see more giant remilia dicks. Because I'm a good person.

But would you let Flandre bite your balls?

>>1542 (OP) 
Only if she lets me bite hers.

The Scarlet brats are tired of bitin' balls! Now they're the dick-bitin' brats!

>>1568
Asking a lady to let you bite her balls? Boy, don't you have any manners?

>>1571
Well, she can go chew on her own, then!

>>1569
Oops! Sorry, Remilia-sama, my cock slipped into your throat!

>>1573
...

this thread is mega gay

>>1574
Damn, sorry!
Can't find the exit hole.
...
Come on, where is it?
Which way did it slide in from again?

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>>1551
Maids are obliged to attend to their master's needs, no matter what they may be!

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>>1593
Dude, grow some balls and admit that some things are outright impossible, like a maid suddenly growing a pair of testicles.

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>>1600
Shoddy excuses like these is exactly why someone like you could never be a maid.

>>1542 (OP) 
I would let her lick my butthole if she's good girl.

>>1753
Keep dreaming, loser! Lady Remilia will never lick your gross, smelly, shit-coated asshole! Never!

>>1759
Her loss, more for Flan-chan.

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>>1763
Flan-chan loves shit!

>>1774
Sanae-chan too! NOM

I would let my balls bite Remilia.

>>1803
That artist draws a nice futa Remi

>>1803
If your balls bite people then you need to see a doctor!

>>1851
Nah, my balls only bite women.

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Those high-class nip toilets are getting crazier and crazier...

>>2012
Damn, where do I pee!?

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Remi-chan is asking you for your balls

>>2045
Sorry, Flan's using them right now.

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Remember those times when you made fun or Remilia? When you called her "flatty"? Now she's going to bite your balls off!

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I will protect wemy

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Hey, Remi, I asked Eirin, and she agreed to transplant my balls directly inside your uterus!
She's already here, let's go!

>>2061
>she agreed to transplant my balls directly inside your uterus!
But why? For what purpose? And also you should know that balls should be located outside of the body to maintain lower temperature, otherwise they will be too hot for sperm to live.

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>>2066
So that I can cum inside her all the time, duh.

>>2066
Actually, you're right, it's probably easier to just inject my semen directly into her ovaries.
Then I could even do Flan at the time.

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W-What is this?

>>2099
Want some?

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>>2100
Um, excuse me! Misstress only eats my homemade baguettes!
Huh? What is it, Meiling? I thought you know not to interrupt the Misstress during teatime.
? Oh, come on! You shouldn't drink straight from the bottle, Misstress, look what a mess you've made!
Here, let me pour you a cup.

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>>2100
Why is it so small? Why is it so short? Remilia has never saw such a small one before! Is it supposed to be so tiny?

>>2102
I thought she was lactose intolerant? You buffoon
>>2104
sez u

>>2113
>I thought she was lactose intolerant?
Remilia is white, what the fuck are you talking about?

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>>2113
>>2114
IT WAS GLUCOSE YOU MOROOOOOOON!
GET THE EPIPEN, FLAN!!!!!

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>>2115
bread expert remi would never be defeeted by some glucose

>>2115
Ding dong the wicked bitch is dead.
When will the funeral be held?

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>They see your huge wooden stake

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>>2118
Right now!

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>>2118
Who could have guessed all those sweets she's been secretly stuffing her gullet with every night would finally catch up with her pancreas!
Rest in creampuffs, Remi-chan!

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>>2154
Her last photo before being carried to ICU

>>2155
>left
Kimee?

>>2057
I've already smeared my balls in mashed broccoli, so come at me if you dare, fatty.

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>>2159
You monster… How many humans have you eaten to become that big!?

>>2157
yes

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>>2164
A little under one Patche.

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love

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>>2227
HATE

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When you do not bite any balls for a two weeks straight...

>>2228
I'll put you under

Reimu would smash your dick with her gohei until they break
Marisa would Master Spark your balls
Alice would tie your balls with her dolls strings and them pull the strings until your balls break
Cirno would turn your balls into ice balls and then smash them into pieces
Rumia would painfully and slowly tear your balls off with her teeth
Meiling would kick your balls until they break
Sakuya would stab your balls with knives until they break
Remilia would bite your balls and suck the blood out until they break
Flandre would accidentally sneeze on your balls and they will explode
Chen would scratch your balls with her nails until they break
Yukari would gap your balls into a zoo cage  with many hungry lions

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>>2303
But the leading expert at Gensokyo ballbusting says Marisa has a strong dislike for ballbusting.

Suika would split into many tiny Suikas and they will stretch your balls in all directions until they break.
Yuugi would just crush your balls with her mighty hand.
Reisen would hypnotize you into punching your balls until they break.
Tewi would put your balls into a mortar and then pound them with a pestle until they turn into mochi.
Orin would scrape your balls with her barbed cat tongue, removing the skin then the meat bit by bit until nothing remains.
Satori would make you think about the worst thing that can happen to your balls and then she would do precisely that.
Koishi would destroy your balls and you wouldn’t even know when and how she did it.
Youmu would slash your balls into 10,000 thousands pieces with her swords.
Yuyuko would invoke death on your balls. They would rot and then would fall off.
Shion would accidentally jinx you and would make you involved in an accident which would involve your balls, three rabid stray cats, garden shears, a meat grinder, a train, a crazy white elephant, and a trombone.
Sanae would make a miracle and turn your balls into solid gold.
Doremy would make you have a nightmare where you experience all of the above.

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>>2305
Nobody said she would enjoy it.

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>>2303
>>2306
If that was true, then how come youkai haven't eaten each other yet?

Patchouli would put your balls between a book’s pages and then would press on the cover until they break.
Koakuma would violently rape you until your balls break from hundreds of ejaculations.
Rin Satsuki would do nothing with your balls.
Eirin would inject your balls with some drug, making them hurt so much you would go mad and then would cut them off with a knife.
Shinmyoumaru would use your balls as her pincushion until she gets bored. Then she would strike your balls with the miracle mallet making them bigger and bigger until they pop.
Nitori would put your balls into an electric blender.
Aya would stomp on your balls with her wooden shoes until they break.
Keine would write your balls out of the history.
Hakutaku Keine would ram into your balls until they break.
Mokou would burn your balls into ashes.
Hina would grab your balls tightly and then would spin around until they break.
Kanako would summon snakes to bite your balls until they’re destroyed.
Utsuho would irradiate your balls until they turn into one big cancerous tumor
Ichirin will summon Unzan to punch your balls.
Yamame would bite your balls and inject her spider juices inside, so your balls would melt into goop.
Rinnosuke would capture you and put you into his shop so ladies would pay him to smash your balls. 1000 yen for one hit, by the way.

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>>2308
>If that was true, then how come youkai haven't eaten each other yet?
What do you mean by that?

>>2309
>Utsuho would irradiate your balls until they turn into one big cancerous tumor
Well, too bad for her, she's the one who's gonna get impregnated from it!

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>>2311
Are you sure at least one of your spermatozoa will still be alive by that time?

>>2312
Inseminating her control rod right now.

>>2313
utsuho is trans now?

>>2314
ur grenny's a trans now

Daiyousei will crush your balls with her big butt.
Ran would calculate your balls’ weak point and then destroy them with a single light prod.
Wriggle would call horseflies, mosquitoes, bees and wasps to bite and sting your balls until they break.
Mystia would skin your balls, pour salt on them, then grill them. Yes, she would do all that while your balls are still attached to you. Oh, it’s done! Mm~ Smells tasty~
Tenshi would smash your balls with her rocks until they break
Iku would zap your balls until they break.
Kaguya would make you immortal and then will tickle your balls for all eternity.
Kogasa would spook your balls out of your ballsacks.
Nue would [REDACTED] and then [REDACTED] and then she would crush your ball with her thick thighs.
Seija would hang you upside down by the balls and then she would wait until they break
Kasen will preach about how pathetic and ugly your balls are. She would do it for years until you would finally snap and go to Eirin and ask her to castrate you.

>>2321
You still didn't explain how youkai haven't busted each other's massive futa balls yet.

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>>2325
There are no futanari in gensokyo

>>2326
Then how does Mamizou use tanuki magic, genius?

>>2325
Yokai don't attack each other.

>>2327
She use her chesticles.

>>2329
>chesticles
<By definition still part of a massive futa cock.
<Can still be busted.
<Provide no tactical advantage whatsoever.
>Yokai don't attack each other.
Then what's this?

>>2331
>Then what's this?
A little fun yokai game, of course.

>>2332
Yeah, it's called eating the weaker youkai whole, balls included.

>>2332
It's not just for youkai. Kami can enjoy that game too.

>>2339
>Not eating balls separately
Absolutely barbaric.

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Subject: Yuuka Kazami, the flower yokai

How to provoke: Ruining her flowers, pissing on her flowers, asking her to let you "pollinate her flower", calling her ass fat
Your punishment: She would make you run through the field full of nettle with your balls exposed. After your balls swell to the size of coconuts, she will get bored and would mercilessly beat your balls until they break.

Estimated time: Several hours
Ball Destroying Rating: B+
Painfulness Rating: A
Her quote: "Ballbusting is just an another game"

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Subject: Shiki Eiki, the Yamaxanadu

How to provoke: refusing to repent for your sins, ejaculating into her hat, calling her "shorty", saying "Yabbadabbadoo"
Your punishment: She would sentence you to the Plowing Testicles Hell, in which demons would stretch your balls to the size of a field and then plow them with plowshares and hoes. It would be incredibly painful, and you will be unable to die in Hell, so prepare your damn balls for it.

Estimated time: About 3,397,386,240,000,000,000 years
Ball Destroying Rating: C
Painfulness Rating: S
Her quote: "I am the law"

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>>2354
but I like her fat butt

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>>2387
It's not that fat

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Subject: Komachi Onozuka, the ferrywoman

How to provoke: snitching her to Eiki about her sleeping on the job, groping her tits, shitting into Sanzu river or her boat
Your punishment: She would capture you and then use your balls as a grindstone for her scythe for roughly one hour per day. She would do it until your balls turn to dust.

Estimated time: At least several months
Ball Destroying Rating: S
Painfulness Rating: B
Her quote: "You're pretty ballsy"

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>>2388
Tone it down a bit bro!

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>>2354
If she doesn't want people to admire her giant ass, she shouldn't stick it out so much.

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>>2441
She can't help it
It's like her ass is her center of mass

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Subject: Merlin Prismriver

How to provoke: ruining her concert by loudly farting, asking her to play your rusty trombone
Your punishment: She would strip you naked and tie you up. Then she would play her trumpet until she finds the proper resonate frequency for you balls. Your balls would start vibrate more and more, and in the end they will violently and loudly explode, like a glass cup. It would be very painful for sure!

Estimated time: At least 10-20 minutes
Ball Destroying Rating: S-
Painfulness Rating: A
Her quote: "Look ma, no hands!"

>>2354
Preposterous lies!
Everyone knows Yuuka-sama only bullies the genitals of overconfident futanari!

>>2463
And Wriggle-kun

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>>2463
Can Reimu impregnate herself?

>>2468
Not after Yuuka-sama's special-deluxe～♥ cbt training.

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>>1542 (OP) 
>>1567
Not letting rabid bats bite my anything.
Cope.

Do you like Flan's new Halloween costume?

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>>2925
Vanilla wannabe BTFO.

Flandre is going out butt naked! Somebody stop her!

>>2930
>hat still on

>>2931
artists do that so we don't forget it's not a generic anime girl

>>2931
Touhous "hats" are not clothes. They are inseparatable organic things growing from their heads.

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>>2930
Flandre is going... going... going IN-N-N-N!!!

You've heard of Remilia the cock-biter.
Now prepare for Rumia the cock-biker!

>>3085
Meet Shinmyoumaru the Cock-Rider!

>>3085
I don't think that braking with your own balls would feel good...

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But would you bite Remilia's clit?

>>3102
Ball for a ball or no deal.

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Remilia when all the unbitten balls suddenly become bitten (Flan had a hand in it).

You wake up and see this
What would you do?

>>3268
I always want to pee like crazy when I wake up.

>>3268

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>>3269
>>3270
おしょらをとんじぇるみちゃいぃぃ!!!〜

>>3268
**Ejaculate straight into her pussy with the force of a thousand suns*

>>3268
Stake 'em by the pussy!

>>3274
Somebody help Flan! Her life is at stake!

>>3274
Let's stake every yokai's pussy!!!

>>3276
They do say "the shortest way to a woman's womb is through her vagina".

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Yo, have you heard Flan's abnormal vore mixtape?

>>3281
Why is Flan eating Remilia's nipple?

>>3283
Breasts are women's balls.
Remi's just didn't drop yet.

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>Mammy Sakuya
wew

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>>3652
i love this so much.

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>>3655
Chinks seem to love tom and jerry for some reason.