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Splatoon 3 demo starts a minute ago it'll last 12 hours you get a free week of Nintendo online with it
>>157661 (OP) 
gud job :DD
ur dolar are in de bidgon walled :DDD
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I picked team rock because I'm a White supremacist.
The rock is a fist, the sign of black resistance. If anything, paper is the white man's choice since its a Roman salute/Natsoc salute.
Replies: >>157671
Yeah that's what the nigger chose that's the nigger team
Haven’t picked a team yet, a few normalfag friends are going rock but not sure if I can play with them anyway so may go paper. 

All three have justifications. 
Rock is the symbol of grug ideals and returning to throwing rocks at intellectual faggots. 
Paper looks like the friendly reich wave and is on top. 
Scissors are, actually I don’t know any good reasons for them.
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Team rock is the mudslime team. Team paper is the loli team because it's flat, and team scissors is ow the edge.
Replies: >>157676
Meme mantis chose scissors so that's a good reason. Team paper is the overdesigned NIGGER team for SIX HEAD NIGGERS
The win screen sucks cock hard. 4/6 matches have dropped a player "early" thus booting seemingly everyone. The sticky arm thing is kinda cool but I think it uses ink(?) which sucks if true. Gonna try the soda machine to be a bro for the team. I like the concept of the spawn launcher but it takes too fucking long TOO LONG FIX IT NOW NINTENDO. Isn't there supposed to be a way to get up walls faster other than mashing jump? How do you do that? The lobby is a huge improvement.
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IIRC going up walls faster is a weapon skill
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OP coincidentally forgot to mention that character creation is fully trannified. Anyone can wear anything and eyebrows and hair (which were the only differentiators between men and women in 2) are totally interchangeable. Also the brown thing is absolutely disgusting. I seriously hope none of you buy this but I know you will anyway.
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I picked team rock because the character associated with it is the cuter one, paper is the team of that shitskin (probably a pajeet) with the massive forehead.
That makes sense
Yeah that was confusing at first until I realized that the option wasn't fucking coming. Also saw that the only people with enough autism to do posts are mostly trannies or gays. May try to post some not gay shit and see if it gets banned. Maybe something simple like professor Oak saying are you a boy or a girl or if im real crazy maybe "its okay to be normal"
What's fucking stupid is that you need to log on ((( faceberg ))) or ((( twatter ))) for your posts to be shown at the plaza.
That's so fucking idiotic.
inb4 niggerpill shill shows up with his "b-but this one issue means jews win forever" bullshit
Crossdressing was probably inevitable given it's been a meme on both sides of the Pacific from day one (boys were added to the game at the last minute based on focus group testing done with "girls have cooties" aged kids) but having zero differences is just handing the game to sexual predators and the gameplay changes look mediocre enough I'm not willing to overlook it. The reason you're not seeing many "normal human" posts which is weird because I saw like 4 troonposts when I booted up the demo and everything else was normal splatfest banter is because almost everyone who isn't a child or latent pedophile barely remembers they bought a switch to begin with at this point, let alone following it closely enough to be ready for this testfire demo.
Replies: >>157702 >>157703
>boys were added to the game at the last minute based on focus group testing done with "girls have cooties" aged kids
Wait, so Splatoon was meant to have female characters only, or what?
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Nah I can seperate my opinions on dumb posts and not explicitly saying boy or girl from enjoyment of the game. As long as it doesn't go full officially gay like how psychonauts did. I still will complain about it a bit.

So far i've had 3 dropped matches and only one full match. But ITS A BETA so eh. I'll hold off getting it too soon when it comes out or pirate it if theres emulator multiplayer.

SW-0661-4443-9908 if anyone wants to play. I found the play with friends option finally
Replies: >>157706 >>157715
Eeltail Alley is a fun map. Finally getting more full matches without drops.
Yes, Splatoon 1 was originally going to have the Inkling girl as the only playable option. Side characters like Spike were still dudes of course.
Normalfag tier behavior but whatever. I'll fully admit to only playing one match but my guess is their plan is asymptotically approaching The Big Gay from every direction (for those Blackrock social credit score shekels and to pander to pedos in the west) without actually getting there and triggering the kinds of investigation into child grooming we're starting to see with smashfaggotry.
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Tried to join you earlier but it wouldn't let me, I guess because you were in a match. I don't know why it didn't let me wait until you were out of a match.
>Yes, Splatoon 1 was originally going to have the Inkling girl as the only playable option.
I would have been fine with it, honestly.
Tri color starts in a couple minutes.
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Meme mantis in the lead. Time for meme mode.
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Tricolor mode isn't bad. Actually that's probably the best way to describe this game. It isn't bad, some of the improvements (like merging the lobby and the training area) are good, but they don't outweigh enabling child abuse or outsourcing splatposting to jewish social media. The square is also really fucking bloated and obnoxious to walk through because it's supposed to double as a Salmon Run map. The new special weapons are a big fat meh just like in 2, either boring or inferior knockoffs of the weapons in the first game. Spawn launcher is not an appreciable advantage since you'll be squad respawning on a teammate most of the time anyway. This is also still the only use for super jumping after it was nerfed into the ground in 2 by the way, no deep strikes for you.

I expected nothing and I was still disappointed. Wake me up when someone gets a fake online server for Splatoon working.
How to unlock child abusing?
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Just join discord, cut your dick off and feed your soul to a demon. It's that easy!
Replies: >>157753 >>157755
being jewish helps too
>feature locked behind a third party
Jewtendo strikes again.
This tricolor gimmick is fun sometimes, I wonder how it is when you're on the winning team. It's hard to win when the other losing team has one or both players attacking all players regardless of if it's their allies in loss. Likewise winning isn't hard when the other losing team doesn't shoot at you. Take for instance the paper side got control of the center objective, so I stay nearby and start shooting any scissors I see. Some stupid paper fucker kills me, then he's killed by scissor, and scissor ultimately won largely because paper was playing like that. Some of these retards don't seem to understand that if I lose, they lose. It is due to this that I find it hard to believe rock or paper will end up on top, all said and done. Basically they waited until half the splatfest was done, announced the current rankings, then turned friendly fire on for only the losing side. That seems to be a recipe for even greater defeat for the losing side. It's like if two guys were running a mile race and halfway through you stopped it, gave the guy that's trailing a pep talk, kicked him in the knee, then start the race back off. I'll be surprised if the halftime winning side ever loses one of these splatfests. Anyway it's fun when both sides of the losers aren't bickering.
Replies: >>157771
>Basically they waited until half the splatfest was done, announced the current rankings, then turned friendly fire on for only the losing side. That seems to be a recipe for even greater defeat for the losing side. 
That sounds so shitty, but being current Nintendo, can't expect anything good from them.
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One can only hope they learn from thippffffffft hahahaha, it's all fucked.
>Wake me up when someone gets a fake online server for Splatoon working.
If only, would be fun playing with anons.
Replies: >>157780 >>157781
Yeah but I think the center objective can only be gotten by the losing teams, which I didn't realize when I made that post. That helps.
On another note i figured out the getting up walls faster thing, hold jump.
I played the first game last week, free server's still up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
There’s probably a way for at least fake local matches through emulator, but it would take some serious autism to figure out. 

Yeah I agree pretty hard with this. I don’t see why I would play this unless I was hard into shit like splatfests. The square is pretty horrible compared to both 1 and two, way too much going on. Neither of the two new weapons jump out at me, and I only enjoyed 1 new map. I may pirate it if the singleplayer is okay, but I don’t see why I wouldn’t just play 2 or even 1. I enjoy the Grizzco thing and want to try the new shit for that, but not enough for a full priced game.
A whole lot of reverse-shills here today. Did someone link zzzchan on cuckchan or something? Haven't seen this amount of blind Nintendo-anything hatred since the console war days.
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1/10 bait
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All I'm all I had a lot of fun playing this splatfest. When I started to understand more about how the 2v1 tricolor I started having more fun fully realizing what I needed to do. I come away from this with a better opinion than I did from splat2. I like the soda machine special, but I like the booyah bomb the most of the specials. I liked the music from between neutral to a lot, particularly splatlantais. The 2D buddies hanging out with you in the lobby is cute.
The netcode or whatever it is still gives teleporters and shit, people spraying ink clear after dying, people eating more ink than they have any business eating, and i once saw a guy throw two suction bombs in under a second lel. On top of that I have to install a discord just to abuse kids like what the fuck that better be standard in the full sixty dollar game, not some shit third party application.
Ultimately I like the first one the most, easily. I think it's likely I'll like this one more than 2 though.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention this in the OP but you can't choose your sex. I hear they have sharp teeth down there though so watch out for that.
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I wonder if it's the same in the Japanese version because despite it being "style" the evident female option still wears a training bra under their shirt in character creation.
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game is pozzed
Well haven't you seen the leaks?
Replies: >>157798
Are you telling me the perms are actually permanent???
From what I heard it's the same in Japan but the intro text when you start up the game and choose what would be race/sex just says "who are you?"
Yeah it was probably trannified at the last minute and it shows.
I played it, i had some fun with it, but i won't buy it anyway.
Fuck Nintendo.
Team Rock won, apparently.

and niggerpill is still a retard posting random twatter shit
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Did someone say squid lewds?
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>team rock won
I guess my assessment of kneecapping the losing teams was wrong
The percentages are the popularity. 17% for the nigger. Meme mantis is more than twice as popular as the nigger and barely lost to the White. Easily the worst designed character in the series.
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I picked Rock too for the same reason.
At first i had no idea which one to pick, then i remembered how the teams were represented by the new characters, and no way i was going to pick the team of that ugly shitskin with gigantic bulbous forehead.
>The percentages are the popularity. 17% for the nigger. Meme mantis is more than twice as popular as the nigger and barely lost to the White. Easily the worst designed character in the series.
Easily, who thought that character looked any good or would appeal to anybody?
That's ugly as shit.
Good ol' rock.  Nothin' beats rock.

Why did you write "manta" as "mantis?"
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>Why did you write "manta" as "mantis?"
Isn't it obvious?
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>no art of Punished Man yet
Place your bets for when it happens I guess, drawfags have been slacking off.
hey that's a pretty good action figure
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Yeah, the details are insane
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>Oh, so you want to go to Mordor?
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>>157661 (OP) 
I had fun with the free trial, but i wish Splatoon offered some offline bot mode.
The fact that you can't do shit if you bring your Switch somewhere or your wi-fi stops working is off putting, not to mention that you'll never know for how long Nintendo will keep the servers on.
If Mario Kart and Mario Strikers have bots to play against, why can't Splatoon?
>what is singleplayer campaign
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Yeah but i heard is really short and more like a tutorial of sorts.
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They're making baby steps toward it with the Octoling stages in 2 but I suspect management knows their development team is too incompetent to make a bot AI that will hold up in an unrestricted Turf War match, let alone one of the Ranked modes.
That's true in 1, 2 has a little bit more meat to it but is also short. The DLC for 2 is a real campaign but it's all out-of-context challenges until it just throws a murder gauntlet at you in the end.
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Sure playing against bots will never be the same or as challenging as playing with actual people, but having some basic bot to fuck around against when you are not online or the servers go down i don't think it's too much to ask
Released today. Is fun. Gonna try Salmon Run when I get to level 4.
Salmon Run is good. I've only played one level, and it only sometimes expands for wave 3. You switch weapons to random out of the preset weapons list every wave. You have to press A to put the egg in the basket but you can throw the egg for the price of a splatbomb into the basket from a pretty good distance. You also explode a small amount of ink when you throw it which will kill small enemies that are very close to you. New bosses are alright, not bad additions, but I haven't played it enough to say they're good additions.
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>>157661 (OP) 
UOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! !!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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>paying for troon shit
There's actually 3 tide levels instead of 2. Big boss fight is pretty fun, especially when the stage gets flooded with normal bosses.
No variant weapons in the game at launch is an incredibly bizarre decision that is fucking the ranked meta up badly.  Specials that are necessary to keep extreme range weapons in check, like the tenta missiles, are now tied exclusively to main weapons that can be charitably described as niche, like the goo tuber.  The new killer wail is supposed to also play that role, but it's terrible.  This game desperately needs a balance patch but having variant weapon kits would at least put a band-aid on the problems.
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>wasted those trips on buyfagging
Just bring the Inkzooka back and these problems would solve themselves.
Yeah it's crazy that there isn't a single variant at all. I guess it'll be next week or the week after that they add some more? I'm not sure. I saw someone, maybe ITT, glean that they only intend to do updates, that used to be weekly, quarterly. I really hope that isn't the case, that sounds like killing the game at launch then hoping for it to get better when you make it better.
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After playing a little more it's not as bad as I initially thought, the most static modes (splat zones and tower control) are what I was playing first and they're hit far harder by the lack of decent long-range harassment specials.  Rainmaker still works well despite Nintendo trying to ruin it with checkpoints.
It's still needlessly crippling to have only one kit per weapon, and the devs really should start trickling out variants sooner rather than later.  Lots of interesting mechanics aren't getting used as much as they could because they're limited to just a few kits (like beakons, which are only on tenta and dapples).
By the way, this is one of those Switch games that actually has LAN mode. To quote the official Nintendo website
>After entering the Shoal, press and hold the ZL Button and ZR Button, and then at the same time, click in and hold the Left Stick. 
This means that it can be played by  anyone who can't/doesn't want to buy NSO. Hopefully it will reach Splatoon 2 levels of unmissable content (for the record, all the Splatfest maps and colors were added to the options in one of the last updates). But that's mostly just my preservationist brain acting up, whatever.
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I'm having fun. Some of the music in this game is pretty good too.
That sounds like it'd make emulated multiplayer a lot easier.
Lobby (9) is nice,  I wish it was longer.
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The single player was pretty fun, also pretty easy the whole way through. Wish they'd have kept the mystery of the origins of the world and the creatures a mystery. The postgame is like those Mario ones where it's a lot more challenging and just a really long level. Whoever decided to implement rail shooter into this should be shot. Shame the translators are faggots with their faggoty plural pronouns to avoid saying "she". Probably the least inspired bosses in the series, though I don't remember the ones in 2. At least Marie was there to keep it fresh and Callie held up the be a retard position just fine. Whoever decided to implement spending ingame funbux to play levels is a piece of shit. It never hindered me but the shit pisses me off to no end. Let's say I want to be autistic as fuck about doing some retarded shit in a level in order to beat it, but being so retarded I have to restart the level fifteen time. Now let's say I run out of funbux in this procedure, now I have to go play another level in order to return to the level I'm being autistic about. It's bullshit. It's fucking stupid and I can't think of a single reason why something like that would ever be implemented. It makes no sense, at all. In fact I dropped 2's DLC early and hard because of this exact same shit, which is where it started if you are unaware. I have a very difficult time tolerating such garbage. Anyway once I beat this postgame stuff I'l probably just stick to Grizzco the evil fuck and the occasional Splatfest.
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You paid for poz, you forfeited the right to complain.
As long as people complain about the poz I don't see the issue.
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I'd fuck the squid girl that officially has her tummy and half her chest exposed.
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Shes cute. The goblin can die though,  worse than pearl.
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Pearl was second best squid idol though. First goes to Callie
>talking shit about pearl
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Pearl is a horrid little gremlin. Her purpose is to make a negroid look better by comparison. Her only virtue is as an onahole and she has a lot of competition in that department.
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Do you think Pearl and newGoblin have forehead beam fights?
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First real splatfest this weekend.  Anyone here still playing?
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Gear here.
I hope all my fellow Himecut enjoyers have a very wonderful splatfest.
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>the white man's choice
>the nigger's choice
>the redditor's choice
I hope Shiver continues to have the best options so I never have to feel conflicted between choosing the best character or the best option.
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It's amazing how such a promising new frachise with cute lolis went to shit in just 3 games.
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Post FC (assuming I don't already know you), maybe we can do some matches together.
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>t. never played splatoon 3 let alone any splatoon game

FC is SW-3753-2826-5011
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I was interested in the first game but it was on a dead system I never owned. Not going to buy any game that panders to trannies with ambiguous gender options and continuously worsening character design.
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Sent a request.  I think I might have played other stuff with you, do you use a similar name on other platforms?
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>I have never played the games, but I will shitpost about them

I don't have a Switch (yet), but I'll make sure to post mine when I get one soon.
I sent you a request
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Did anyone else disconnect? Splatfest seems fucked for me.
Who else on gear? We got 2 fags already
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Playing with a group of four on gear now.  Sent a friend request to >>164362
but hasn't been accepted yet.
Ink it up to the sun.
Ink it up to the moon.
Gear shall win inshallah.
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I had to do some errands, just got back home. I'll play with you niggers if you're still on. And yes, I do use a similar name for other platforms.
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Cool, I've got a room open now.
There are way too many retards who seems to think this is fucking Call Of Duty
>Gear is getting mirror matches
I don't think its going well.
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Want food or fun?
With GEAR you can have BOTH
Gear and fun are neck and neck. Grub is behind.
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Man what pisses me off is that online is still full of retards that go straight to the enemy side to shoot them without caring about covering their side with ink first.
<duh let's go pew pew on the others!
<why did we lose!?
You can bet your ass those are COD tards
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I've never played this game because I gave up on nintendo completely when the Wii was announced, but I find splatoon a really interesting game that does a hell of a lot more than most modern games do. Is it actually fun, or is just shitty multiplayer matches played ad infinium? If it is fun, is it available on PC at all?
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how about you form your own opinions
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>I don't want to play the game since nintendo are a bunch of kikes, how is it?
>play the game
You have trouble reading?
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You have trouble graduating highschool? Don't ask others to spoonfeed you what opinions you should have - play the fucking game and make your own.
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Kill yourself immediately newfag.
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>is it available on PC 
It's a game on a console whose emulation on PC ranges from tolerable to unplayable.  This isn't like Halo.
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Not really surprised. PC is my only option since I will never buy another console again. I'll wait, and if it never happens I have other games I can play.
i liek it. If you don't have the online you are only getting half the game so that should probably be the make or break for you.
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>liking playing as a xer/xem
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It is fun, just overly online focused, that would be bad for any standard home console, and for a portable like the switch is even more so.
Like apart from the online team battles or online co-op missions, the game offers almost nothing outside of those.
I kinda wish there was at least a bot mode to be played when you bring the console outside or your WiFi is out for any reason.
KILLZONE: Mercenary on the Vita had something like that, but Nintendo are a bunch of lazy fucks and only do the bare minimum because "that requires work, and work is hard"
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There is actually a local mode you can do. Thats the reason Salmon run was created in the first place but now you can do local regular battles.
<game focuses on delivering a particular experience
>WTF why doesnt it deliver an entirely different experience?!?
Do you also get mad when puzzle games dont have first person shooter segments?
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It is pretty much multiplayer matches played ad infinitum, but they're good multiplayer matches.  You can probably emulate the single player campaigns, which are worth playing (especially the Octo Expansion from 2) but don't really capture what the game is about.
I'm playing as a loli squid just like in the two previous games, Nintendo scratching off the labels "boy" and "girl" from the body types at the behest of Treehouse retards doesn't change that.
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>expecting a single player campaign from a shooter game is somehow unheard of
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Except that there is a singleplayer campaign??? 
Oh fuck, you were baiting weren't you. There's no way you couldn't be. I guess I lost then.
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Original person said online focused being a problem. Not that the single player mode didn't exist.
You sound like someone that considers call of duty mw2 to be a classic game. Are you little babby child? Because this isn't a thread fo--- ohwaitnevermind this is a nintendo splatoon thread lol. shitpost on little guy.
So how Splatoon 3, /v/? I liked the first two games but I am not really 100% that keen on the third game. Is it more of the same?
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>Do you also get mad when puzzle games dont have first person shooter segments?
So you guys spent your conch shells before the splatfest ended right? Because when it ends they are gone. You DID spend them at the gatcha machine right?
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I thought I had, but I still had one left and it was usable after splatfest.
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the police have been called and informed of your location.
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>super snails are gacha now
Yet another reason to bully and/or ban anyone normalfag enough to buy this shit. They were already treading the line with the rotating rewards and useless points system in 2 but now they're blatantly conditioning their base to accept EA levels of microtransaction jewing. I'd bet an internet we get a leaked internal memo indicating they planned to do this in 3 but it was judged too risky with all the gambling lawsuits western publishers have been hit with in the last few years.
Replies: >>164904
There are no microtransactions, the gacha machine is entirely run with in-game money and the conch shells you get during splatfest.
Sea snails are a separate thing that haven't been distributed yet because the results haven't been announced yet.
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It would take maybe a week of dev for it to use real money instead.
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But it doesn't right now idiot
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>I can't read
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Gear wins.  Total Aryan Victory.
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There's no fucking point in saying that someone could or would be something when there's zero indication that it will become that thing
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That is an obscure meme
More tentacle hair cuties please. Yeah.
A LONG and EXTENSIVE single player mode that makes the game's price worth it by itself, especially when those kikes at Nintendo ask people to pay an additional fee for their shitty online, and not some short, half assed, glorified tutorial because "it's current year, don't you guys have phon-ehm Internet anyway?"
Also lots of shooters back in the day allowed you to play the game's maps by themselves after you were done with the main campaign.
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I'm not reading all of that. I want to fuck a qt octo.
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>2 sentences is too much to read
ADHD internet culture was a mistake
Says the guy playing a tranny game.
Replies: >>165358
The only tranny here is the whine of an ambulance transmission  as it desperately  speeds through traffic, trying to bring the octo I have given semen poisoning to the hospital.
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No, he's right.
If 3 lines of text is too much to read for you, you must be a nigger.
Why are retards shilling that amongus shit game!?
Oct 1, random weapon salmon run and grizzco weapon 
per dataminers
I didn't get it
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how long you been on the internet, kid?
Don't worry it's a funnyjunk joke
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It's widely known that wonderbread is highly toxic to sea life especially fish. There was a big incident awhile back that caused huge fish die offs because people were throwing wonderbread to the ducks in rivers, lakes, streams, and ponds.
Replies: >>165660
What makes wonder bread toxic to sea life?
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im at profreshional +3 and hang just rocketed from +nothin to +3 in a few hours while my buddy im talking to this whole time has been stuck at go-getter for that same amount of time getting fog rounds and the whole rigamaroo while i haven't gotten half of that
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I think that dark skinned inklings and octolings are ugly as shit, and it's not just my racism speaking here, they are really unpleasant to look at.
If they wanted to make different skin tones fine, but not that fucking dark, they look like their textures haven't loaded yet.
Replies: >>165720
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>niggers are corrupted humans with missing skin textures
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Apparently, if you disable seeing other people's posts on the option menu, you can see your own pictures even without signing up on twatter or faceberg, you just need to draw and save it.
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I was dicking around in recon and did this shit. I don't know how.
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Okay I've done it three more times. I have no idea what it actually is but I'm able to recreate it unreliably.
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This will be my final post on the matter. With an attempt to see where exactly I went up the wall, in case anyone else is autistic enough to try to recreate it themselves.
Replies: >>166814 >>166934
is there a profanity filter or something?
It's just squid surge.  You're spamming jump to climb like you would in previous games and occasionally holding the button down for long enough to count as charging it.
Are you using Intensify Action gear?  That lowers the time you have to hold down the button to charge it, which could make it short enough to happen accidentally.
Replies: >>166912
No, I tap jump once to get on the wall, then it happens at the top. That's why I was trying to recreate it. My inputs were tapping jump once (1) to get on the wall, then holding swim and holding the analog stick. 
Let me emphasize that I only tapped jump off the ground, nothing more.
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>My inputs were tapping jump once (1) to get on the wall, then holding swim and holding the analog stick. 
My mistake.  I just attempted that and managed to replicate it a couple of times, so there's definitely something strange going on there.
I've noticed a few other odd recurring input issues, like the Rainmaker firing an uncharged shot as soon as I pick it up despite not pressing the trigger, though.  No footage of that, unfortunately.
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this is a game for girls not men
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New Splatfest starting November 11, it's a Pokemon tie-in.  Which starter type do you pick, grass, fire, or water?

If anyone's interested in grouping up, we've been using a mumble server to coordinate.  We mostly do Salmon Run and open ranked, though last weekend we had enough to do 3v3 private battles.  We're most active in American timezone evenings, though we do have some people elsewhere.
Here's the info:
Address: swamp.li
Port: 64738
If for whatever reason you don't want to use mumble, it is possible to coordinate through the thread, but mumble makes things much easier.  Open ranked in particular is a huge pain in the ass to coordinate without it, because there's no way to switch weapons or gear after a match without leaving the room entirely.
Replies: >>171433
This is a game for high test men. Also yes, I do dress my squidgirl up in cute clothes.
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I'm done playing this game, at least ranked and salmon run. Might play the next Splatfest if it comes up before my switch online sub expires. I've realized how pointless playing this game is and I've recognized the telltale signs of a terrible gaming experience and I'm ducking out now before I sink anymore time into this sink of shit because I have been there before with another competitive game (with arguably much more complexity but I'll get into that later). 

I'll be going into this in detail with hopes that I can turn away other anons who play this or are hoping to play this before they, too, fall into the pit of despair.
The good with this game is that it's truly a creative and fresh (get it?) IP from Nintendo, a company that has enjoyed doing the same old franchises over and over since its very inception. The game is truly fun while it lasts and while the singleplayer mode isn't terribly challenging or engaging sometimes, I felt content with it. The multiplayer is obviously where this game shines, though. The mainstay of the game, Turf War, is mostly consistently fun and inclusive no matter if you're dogshit or a pro - though for obvious reasons it would be more fun if you're able to pull your own weight. The weapons you're allowed to choose from are usually unique in some way or another and can drastically change how you play until you find one that suits your own particular style. Sadly this is where the bad comes in. 
Each weapon gets a sub-weapon and a special. The sub weapon could be a grenade of some stripe, or a mine, or an enemy tracer, etc. The special could be anything from a buff for your teammates, a missile launcher, a mortar, etc. The problem is that the game tries to tell you that every weapon is equal, but it's clear from the start that some weapons are more equal than others. You will also realize this fact when every game starts having you faced up against the same few weapons every single time. You and your team may try something new but will you win the game with that new unorthodox style? Probably not. Speaking of your team, it's important to note that unless you have 3 friends of equal skill to your own ready to join you at your beck and call, you will have to team up with random people online. This could mean you might have someone of equal skill, less skill, or more skill. But keep in mind that the ones with higher skill typically join a team of their own, so the people you're with could very well be some kid on summer break or who just got out of elementary school for the day. It could be someone like you, sure, but what are the odds of that? To add another layer of uncertainty, your enemy team has just as much chance of being low-skill losers as they do of being a 4-stack who are coordinating in discord or mumble or teamspeak or some other fucking service. Yes, Nintendo does actually offer a voice chat with teammates but it needs to be done via the companion app and suffice it to say that very very few people bother with it, so your chance of coordinating with your teammates if they're randoms is essentially zero. The game gives you two (three technically) voice commands that your inkling can say - one for "This way" and another for "Booyah". Not very descriptive, so don't expect to be making much coordination happen with just those two. Let's say you want to be the carry of the game, well to do that you're gonna need a bit of an advantage. And this game offers it in the form of clothing you wear which will have at max capacity 4 "ability slots". Each of which could be one of 20 or so abilities that will boost some element of your character. For instance, there's one for movement speed, special weapon charge speed, special weapon damage, respawn time, jump time, etc. Clothes will have one ability to start out with then the rest will need to be rolled for at random as you gain EXP or have abilities of your desire entered manually, at the cost of "ability chunks" which the game is not very frugal with lending out. For just one piece of clothing, you will need 60 ability chunks to fill every empty ability slot - assuming you didn't manually pick the starting ability as well. You can get more ability chunks by farming with "drinks" which will very slightly increase the chance of getting a particular ability when you level up (very important to note the chance still isn't guaranteed and actually not very likely still despite the increase). Abilities will actually make a very big difference in whatever element you choose if you stack up enough of them. The problem with this, obviously, is that the ones who grind enough are rewarded with clothing that has the abilities they want and the players with more sane play schedules are left in the dust with random abilities on their clothing unless they, too, were lucky enough to strike out on enough ability chunks of your desired type. With that said, it isn't a guarantee you'll win even with the right abilities, but they do serve as an important crutch. In ranked you will see many players with clothing lined with just one ability since they were able to farm enough chunks to do so. Typically they will also be paired with whatever weapon is meta right now. 
Another problem you'll encounter are the maps and their designs. Some maps simply do not have flank routes or anything with which the close-ranged players (such as users with rollers or brushes or short-range guns) can use to level the playing field with extreme-long range weapons like the Hydra Splatling, E-Liter, Explosher, Squiffers, other splatlings, etc. There may be one or two routes but not without leaving oneself open to attack from the defending players within. 
An issue with Ranked mode in particular is that there is no way for one to "de-rank". You may be kept from ranking up to the next stage, but you are just one player in a team of 4, so you can still be carried to victory even if you do not deserve it. Clearly you can see how this might be an issue for players both skilled and unskilled. The skilled player suffers because they must now be teamed up with players who would never have reached that rank without help. The unskilled player suffers because they must not be inferior to everyone and fail at everything and thus learn nothing. There is no capacity for learning or understanding or coordination when Nintendo offers no voice communication between players without going through 10 thousand hoops nobody in their right mind would use. This is why 4-stack teams are used so often, nobody wants to team up with retards. This means a typical match will be you and 3 fucktards that got carried to whatever your rank is vs 4 guys on a Ventrillo server somewhere coordinating everything with a full wardrobe of custom abilities and the newest IMBA weapons of the season. Sure, you could find a team yourself and play with them all the time but where the fuck is the fun in that? Do that if you're starting a competitive team to win tournaments, not simply to have fun - you won't find any of that in a no-nonsense comp crew. 
To make matters worse, you may often find yourself killed due to lag or some other network-related issue. A common tale is a splat charger killing you before their shot even lines up with your body, or a shot killing you long after its firer has died. 

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So from the top, the issues with multiplayer PvP is: Imbalanced weapons, no means of coordination when in a team of random players, a system that rewards fanatical grinding or extreme luck with an advantage over other players, poor map design, a strong inclination towards teaming up with known friends rather than with random players, and poor net code. Many of these things exist in other competitive games and may indeed be the same reason you left them, just like I did many years ago. This is also why I'm done with Splatoon's ranked mode at the very least and soon everything else with this game. I'll admit I got the fun I needed out of it, I have about 130 hours on it so far. Not bad for a multiplayer when I usually spend half as much time on some good JRPGs. But I am smart enough to know that the fun has long since ended and what awaits me is a skinner box of defeats (rarely ever are said defeats my own fault) interspersed with small victories to release just enough dopamine in my brain to keep me hungry for more. I got to S+1 rank in Multiplayer, that may as well be the end goal. You could keep going to go to S+2, S+3, S+4, etc. if you really wanted to but you gain nothing for it. Indeed, you gain nothing out of grinding anything in Splatoon except some badges and banners with which you can customize your "splat tag". Total fucking joke. This isn't even getting too deep into Salmon Run which is also fun like multiplayer was but suffers largely from the same problems as Multiplayer where your fun and your victory depends entirely on whether your team sucks shit from a straw or not. In my experience? You'll get shit teammates 7/10 times, and if you're lucky you'll rank up and beat Kohozuna (the big boss Salmonid) just for a chance to get scales with which to customize your look, and that's it. 

So , tl;dr, I've had enough. It was fun while it lasted but I am old enough to recognize when games stop being fun and start being chores, and I'm sick of being dragged down and punished just because the three teammates I'm placed with are consistently shit. Just like how it was in my past competitive games, there's nothing for me to gain by playing it further. Life is too short to stay rooted in the same skinner box for so long. Time to tackle the remainder of my backlog. 

If you want a final rating of Splatoon 3 IGN style, I give it an 8/10, I would give it a 7 if I got confirmation that Nintendo expected the game to be taken seriously, and I'd have given it a 9 if I got confirmation Nintendo never intended for the game to be taken seriously. 

Peace out, faggots.
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You see what I mean? somethin fucky goin on. Probably gonna get patched if it has any actual use. 
Is this reproducible in recon?
pic unrelated
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Is this a pasta?
>madness combat 
Nice. I've been thinking of making a thread for that anyway.
I just reached S+10 not too long ago (which is the minimum to stay in S+ after the seasonal derank), and I agree with a lot of your points.  I actually intended to do a similar writeup, but you beat me to it.  One thing I'll say is that people overestimate the impact of having perfect gear.  It helps but the difference between just getting the main abilities you want with a mishmash of sub abilities sort of oriented towards how you want to play vs. optimized subs is not that big.  I've done a lot of ranked gameplay with blank gear even, just to farm chunks.
You are 100% correct on map design.  The best maps in the game right now are Splatoon 2 maps, because all the new maps strip away all the small pieces of clutter and terrain that can act as cover and simply do not have flanking routes (or have flanking routes that leave the flanker so vulnerable they may as well not exist, like Hagglefish).  The Splatoon 1 maps barely have anything in common with the originals.
>This means a typical match will be you and 3 fucktards that got carried to whatever your rank is vs 4 guys on a Ventrillo server somewhere coordinating everything with a full wardrobe of custom abilities and the newest IMBA weapons of the season.
This isn't explained well in-game, but if you're a solo player Series is always going to be better balanced for you than Open because people can't bring groups.
That said, there's something seriously, deeply wrong with the matchmaking in this game.  I go on much longer streaks than in 1 or 2, both winning and losing, even if I'm changing teams every game.  Also, every single time I try a backline weapon like a charger or splatling in ranked by myself, no exaggeration, I am placed on a team that already has one.  Matchmaking used to take weapon range into account, but if it's doing that now it's doing it perversely.  Some of this is probably because the ability to stick with a team makes matchmaking much harder even in series ranked.  The correct way to do matchmaking by skill is to minimize the difference in MMR between the players in the room.  Because you can stick with a team you're placed on randomly, though, the algorithm can't just do that, it has to instead minimize the difference in average MMR between teams.  Here's an example of how that might go wrong:  we start off with a match where nobody came in as a team, so the matchmaking can do a pretty good job of minimizing differences.  I'm 2315, my teammates are 2321, 2300, and 2325, enemies are in the same range.  After the battle, the 2325 leaves and the rest of us stick around, leaving us with 2315, 2321, and 2300 for an average of 2312.  For the next match, the game is trying to match us with a solo player and an enemy team that results in both teams having similar average MMR.  Instead of matching us against a team right around 2300, though, it instead drops in a teammate whose MMR is 2000 and matches us against a team all clustered around 2230, our new average.  The 2000 is going to struggle and it's not going to be fun for him, the rest of us are going to be frustrated that he can't do anything, and the enemy team is going to be frustrated that 3/4 of us are better than them.  There's all kinds of similar scenarios where you just get fucked up teams because of how letting people stick together constrains the algorithm.  This is also why Splatoon 1 and 2 had squad/league battle as a separate thing from normal ranked.

I'm still going to keep playing this game, because there is fundamentally nothing else like Splatoon and I really do enjoy the core gameplay, but this iteration needs a lot of work and some rethinking of major decisions.
Replies: >>171074
Patch dropped a few days ago that broke rainmaker, fortunately they fixed it relatively quickly and it's back up now.  The patch supposedly made some latency improvements but nobody I've talked to has been able to tell the difference.
>Also, every single time I try a backline weapon like a charger or splatling in ranked by myself, no exaggeration, I am placed on a team that already has one.  Matchmaking used to take weapon range into account, but if it's doing that now it's doing it perversely
I wanted to give some more concrete info on this, because there's definitely something strange going on here.
Last night I tried out the E-liter in the Open queue with a group of three.  One of my teammates played standard roller the entire time, the other switched between squeezer and 52 a few times.  The random fourth teammates we were placed with were as follows:
Clash Blaster
Splat Charger
Hydra Splatling
In 6 out of 9 games, we were placed with another backliner. In 5 out of those 6 games, that backliner was another charger.  In 3 out of those 5 games, we were placed with another e-liter.  There are currently 54 main weapons (53 if you don't count the hero shot and splattershot separately, since they're mechanically identical.)  There are approximately ten backline weapons (it's ambiguous whether some weapons, like the ballpoint splatling, fall into this category, but there aren't enough of those to throw things off too much.)  Not much of a sample size here, but it's clear we were getting many more backliners than you'd naively expect.  I don't have a good source for weapon usage stats, but my experience playing other weapons does not suggest that backliners are just overrepresented in the playerbase.  When playing dualie squelchers or splattershot in solo queue it's not uncommon for me to have a game with none on either team.
I would really like to see what's going on with matchmaking under the hood.
We're starting a private battle session in 15 minutes or so.  If you're interested, get in the Mumble from >>167011 or post a FC.
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>I'm done playing this game
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>play splatoon 1 regularly with a bunch of friends
>one of my favourite games and friend groups ever; all the mechanics and maps are a genuine breath of fresh air in the industry
>don't play splatoon 2 because I have no desire to get a Switch for one game
>splatoon 3 finally gets me to buy a switch for it since I can mooch off of one friend's family internet plan
>playing a random ranked battle to wind down after an evening of salmon run
>this music plays
>chorus kicks in as I'm riding the tower to victory and splatting people left and right, inducing a wave of nostalgia and elation
Maybe this game is pretty good.
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I remember when I had splat attack sound off in a match. I think I lost but it was a close one. I put the game down for a bit but I am at the final center area in the story mode and just need to do the old fashion grind in the rest of the game.
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>Splatoon 3 demo had pantsu modeled
>final game has empty pelvis
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>pozzed game is censored
gee wow who could have predicted this
every single one of you stupid enough to pay for a modern video game is directly responsible for this, what do you have to say for yourself?
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Is this even visible anywhere in-game?
Maybe if we all start fetishizing empty voids and unmodeled pelvises, they'll get confused and start modeling panties again.
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How panties get treated by censorship as if they were genitals was always retarded.
They are like socks, but for the pelvic area, that's it.
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>They are like socks
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I want to fug shiver
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Behead luna blasters. Speaking of aids I think they tried to make it harder to just missle spam all match long so there is that.
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All they did was increase the points needed for special by 5% on two of the three weapons that have missiles.  It's not even enough to be a band-aid and might actually be counterproductive.  A committed missile spammer won't notice a difference while someone actually using the primary weapon in fights might be affected a little.
There are two core issues with missiles that probably require a bit more effort to fix than Nintendo was able to put in for a quick patch: the flight time is inconsistent (I'm pretty sure it's based on distance between the user and the target, which is often not visible to the target) and the user can resume filling his special gauge while the missiles are still in the air, unlike any other special.  Fix those two and I think missiles would be much closer to balanced.
does anyone have the screencap talking about how nip ratings boards tell them to show them all the female characters upside down to check for underwear?
Are you forgetting that panties are seen as incredibly erotic in Japan? It's literally pornographic to them.
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Girls are seen as incredibly erotic worldwide.
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Who the fuck are you replying to, dipshit? Also, you're dead wrong.
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I am 100% correct. Feel free to keep grring like a retard over trivial shit though.
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>panties weren't erotic; see this image which repeatedly describes panties as extremely erotic
I don't know what you were hoping to accomplish.
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>I don't know how to read: The post
I'll make it easy for you since you're having such a hard time:
The panties depicted as not being sexual at all in that image have no details about them, they're just regular old undergarments. Now compare this with the panties in Splatoon as pictured earlier ITT. Notice anything? In fact panties of that kind are considered "granny panties" these days, just like bloomers. Now one can argue that bloomers are erotic but that's more of a personal fetish thing. Some fags consider feet and napes erotic. Doesn't mean inclusion of feet = eroticism.
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>a girl's underwear isn't erotic unless _
No thanks, you're retarded.
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>Panties are erotic
People may find them erotic, but that's not the point, the point is that censorship are treating something that COVERS the genitals as pornography almost, and that's so fucking stupid, doesn't matter if some people may find them erotic.
For instance, i do find female legs to be erotic, so what?
Are those faggots going to censor legs too because there's people like me out there?
And what about footfags?
Those find feet to be erotic, so should they censor those too!?
There's also people who find skin-tight suits to be erotic, so by that logic Samus shouldn't wear her zero suit anymore.
Point is, that what people may find erotic is mostly subjective, and censorfags shouldn't worry about subjective kinks but only about avoiding exposing children to overly sexual content if the game is aimed at them.
If the game is instead aimed at adults then censorship shouldn't exist at all.
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>what people may find erotic is mostly subjective
You'd be more convincing without relying on this sophistry.
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You want it simple?
Panties are clothing, and should be treated as such, not as nudity.
Censorship has no reason to be put in place just because SOME people may find the sight of them arousing. 
I don't find them arousing at all, but the effort those faggots put in hiding and censoring something so harmless still annoy me.
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There you go.  That wasn't so hard, was it?
Now talk to the ratings boards and get them to change their entire systems.
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>That wasn't so hard, was it?
Same could be said about your reading comprehension
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>do two full clears of salmon run and fight cohozuna twice
>barely can't kill him both times
I really wish there were more than 3 maps and more than 1 king salmonid.
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Playing SLPATOON3; it's fun.
Should I get 1 or 2 as well?
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1 is barebones, I don't know if the online is  even still alive. There is a campaign but thats all you will get out of it.
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Thread is lacking gameplay recordings.  Here's some of me as Heavy Weapons Squid to fix that.
The single player campaign is worth playing in 1 just for the final boss fight but is otherwise unremarkable.  2's base campaign is bad, but Octo Expansion is very good.  If you can pirate it or get it dirt cheap you should absolutely go for it.  Online for both games is pretty dead at this point, and I'd skip 2's online anyway now that 3 is available.  1's online would be worth playing for the map design if it were still active.
If you do decide to get 1, I know enough people who still have it that we might occasionally be able to do private battles to show off what it was like.  My Wii U is packed up at the moment but I'd happily dig it out to play original Port Mackerel zones again.
Splatfest this weekend.  Which team did you pick?
<Which pokemon type make the best partners?
>Shiver: Grass
>Frye: Fire
>Big Man: Water

I chose water because it's the correct answer.  Fire is for children and grass will be taken over by stoners.
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Grass just because I like Rowlet.
Whatever my wife shiver is choosing.
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>my wife shiver
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Shes just perfect. Two splatfest wins can't be wrong.
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By law, Splatfests cannot be wrong. But you can be.
Final day of Splatfest, but I'm somewhat burnt out after getting to max rank on day 1.  It's generally been fun to play turf war "seriously" and there have been some fun games, but I'm not invested in the theme because it's an obvious corporate cash grab.

Impressions so far: everything seems very chaotic, and it's hard to gauge how strong each team actually is.  I'm on Team Water, and in the few games I played without friends my teammates were extremely cowardly and refused to push forward.  Team Fire has almost always been complete pushovers; the only times I lost a game against them was due to internet chicanery that would allow them to kill me from beyond the grave.  Team Grass seems to have more higher skilled players on average, but there have been plenty of terrible players there too; DUDE WEED LMAO.

I had thought that Team Water would be the obligatory meme team since that's what Big Man usually is, but it seems like water being the objective best choice in pokemon games has gotten a reasonable number of players who aren't total garbage.  I do think that people who want to win splatfests are just going to keep picking whatever Shiver picks unless she chooses something completely indefensible.

This is my first time experiencing the tri-battles, and I have to say that on defence as Team Water they felt incredibly stupid.  The defending team is perpetually flanked in the centre of the map, and must defend a goal in the middle from 2 Grass and 2 Fire players at the same time.  If either of those teams gets to activate the goal in the middle, a giant, invincible, permanent sprinkler spawns on their side of the map.  Because this is turf war, it's effectively impossible to win if more than 1 of these sprinklers appears, and 1 might be enough if either attacking team makes an early push and can abuse the completely unassailable map control the sprinkler gives them.

I almost suspect the developers have intentionally made the tri-battles work this way to make it easier for the losing teams to catch up to the winning team, but it's also entirely possible they just don't know what they're doing.
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>This is my first time experiencing the tri-battles, and I have to say that on defence as Team Water they felt incredibly stupid.  The defending team is perpetually flanked in the centre of the map, and must defend a goal in the middle from 2 Grass and 2 Fire players at the same time.  If either of those teams gets to activate the goal in the middle, a giant, invincible, permanent sprinkler spawns on their side of the map.  Because this is turf war, it's effectively impossible to win if more than 1 of these sprinklers appears, and 1 might be enough if either attacking team makes an early push and can abuse the completely unassailable map control the sprinkler gives them.
Sturgeon is also a terrible map for this.  The entirety of the defenders' spawn area is easily inkable by attackers, while most of the attackers' spawns are inaccessible without extreme range weapons or zipcaster.  Defenders can only get into the attackers' courtyards.  Both attacking teams get a free 10% advantage.
I'd like to see three changes to tricolor:
1.  Open up the maps.  Going around the enemy team to steal a bunch of their territory that they assume is safe is a standard turf war tactic and should be allowed here.  Give defenders some way to access the attackers' territory.  It doesn't even have to be a good way, it can be extremely vulnerable, just so long as it's possible.
2.  If the attackers try to get the ultra signal and fail, add a 10-15 second delay before it becomes available again.
3.  Make the sprinklers destructible.  They can either have a health bar or another ultra signal at the base that destroys it if captured.  Right now defenders are at a permanent disadvantage if they lose the signal once and almost guaranteed a loss if they lose it twice.  This is the opposite of the way turf war normally works, big comebacks in the last 30 seconds happen all the time.
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Water wins in a sweep.
New trailer for the second season:
Includes one new map (Brinewater Springs) and one returning map (Flounder Heights).  X Battles confirmed, no mention of League Battles.  Big Run teaser at the end.  Three new weapons: a roller, a charger, and a shooter.  Charger is very different from others, you charge once to fire up to five shots and it's a two-shot kill.  Roller looks like it paints more when rolling, not obvious to me what's unique about the shooter.
Five new kits for existing weapons:
Tentatek Splattershot (Splat Bomb/???)
Dapple Dualies (Torpedo/???)
Splattershot Pro (Suction/Booyah Bomb)
Mini Splatling (Toxic Mist/Big Bubbler)
Luna Blaster (Fizzy Bomb/???)
It's confirmed there are a total of ten returning weapons, so there are five alternate kits we haven't seen yet.
Replies: >>174585 >>174586
>that fivehead
I know what's getting nerfed in Scarlet/Violet.
Started playing cause some of you fags got me to. Have to say, i suck dick at this game but i can see why its fun. Any general advice for a noob? Been tryong out the bow, seems funbut i am not quite used to gyro.
Replies: >>174762 >>174984
I would recommend that you play the standard splattershot for a little while until you're decent with it.  It's a very good weapon with a very good kit that doesn't require you to master a lot of weapon-specific tricks.  The skills you pick up from using it are almost all transferable to nearly every other weapon.
The bow is a pretty good weapon, but it's not going to be the easiest weapon for a beginner to pick up.  Getting kills with it consistently requires you to have very good aim and know when to use the horizontal (standing) shots vs vertical (jumping) shots.  On top of that, it doesn't have a bomb you can lean on to get kills while you learn the main weapon.

All that said, if you're having fun with the bow feel free to stick with it.  You'll be beating up children for a while when you first start playing ranked, so there's definitely room to learn a trickier weapon.
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>seems fun but i am not quite used to gyro

You can use the right stick for aiming if you prefer.
You just need to change disable motion controls in the settings.
i couldn't play with gyro either
Replies: >>174985 >>175035
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What, you can't use both? What the fuck, you could do that in 1 and it was great because you could use the stick for gross movement and then track people with the gyro. It's such a natural thing that I suspect the only reason other publishers haven't ripped it off is because giving consoleniggers literal aimbot is easier. Another reason to bully and shame anyone who bought this jewish sequel, I suppose.
Replies: >>174996 >>175002
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>you can disable gyro and use the right stick to aim instead
<ZOMG WHAT WHY CANT U USE BOTH???!1//!?!/!??!!?
I genuinely don't know how someone can be this retarded.
Replies: >>174997 >>174998
You need to word things better. To me it sounded like it had become an either-or option, as in you could use ONLY the gyro or ONLY the stick. That would be retarded and therefore perfectly in line with nutendo behavior.
Replies: >>175006
<you CAN use right stick, you just NEED to disable motion controls
Lsiterally states it's a requirement to disable them, AKA that you can't use both. It's the only correct interpretation of the statements made, the statement is just wrong.
t. Grammar Nazi

I also assume the person asking why you can't do both is not the person playing 3, and hasn't touched the game at all. Else he wouldn't ask. So it's not unusual to rely on information given.
You can use both. You can still use your right stick to look around while gyro is turned on. But looking up and down is disabled, you can only use it to look left and right.
It's possible for there to be more than one person on the internet who is smarter than you.
Nah I like gyro. As someone mentioned I use it to track someone while using the right stick for movement.
what a truly amazing game. i love splatoon so much
Replies: >>175463 >>175599
What do you think of Shiver?
Replies: >>175594
Callie > Marie >>> Shiver > Marina >> Frye > Pearl
Replies: >>175598
bad taste
Callie > Marie > power gap > Marina > Big Man > Pearl > garbage > Shiver > stepping on a dog turd in the street > that pajeet thing
I would be inclined to agree if I was retarded enough to pay for NSO.
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>shiver that low

I will slay you where you stand.
Replies: >>175641 >>175643
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agreed but switch marie and callie
I'm sorry but you have contracted the big gay
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pls stop staying mean things about my Chunni wife or I will splat you in half, and in half again.
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You'll need one to pray that gay away son.
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Never played these games, but Marina >= Pearl > Marie > Bigman > Callie >>>>>>>> the rest. I still chuckle that they dressed them as Biggie and Tupac for the DLC.
Replies: >>175661 >>177135
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Quite possibly the worst overall taste in this thread.
I'm actually enjoying ranked. I probably should kit myself out better for it though.
Replies: >>176554
Enjoy your forced 50% winrate like in most competitive multiplayer games.
Splatoon has never used a forced winrate system.
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>50% of his id are e's
Replies: >>176904 >>176924
>beee af
Woomys are for
>giving nice things to
Veemos are for
>giving cock to

Choose the right one at game creation.
Replies: >>176951 >>177163
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What the fuck is this ID?
the king of beef
>>giving cock to
Roosters are extinct in Splatoon's setting.
Replies: >>176961
I think he means using your member to commit a splat
Are you lads excited for the new update?
Replies: >>177490
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>Never played these games
And you skip right to the best girl discussion
Sounds like you have some beef with the game.
Now that it's up I have a few thoughts.
New maps are good.  Flounder is definitely the best Zones map in the game right now, and Brinewater is better than any of the other S3 exclusive maps.  I have some complaints, but they're big steps in the right direction.
New weapons mostly seem like a bust.  I like Splattershot Nova's point sensor/wail kit for harassment but the gun itself is bad.  Big Swig Roller is complete trash.  No one-shot capability is crippling and I can't see this doing well outside of maybe a gimmick zones comp.  Snipewriter has potential, it plays like a hybrid of a charger and splatling and I'll have to play it some more to see if I can make it work.
X battles have very different matchmaking from normal ranked battles.  Weapon type is taken into account, every match I've played has had a pretty clear one-to-one matching of weapon roles between teams.  There's a little bit of flexibility (in a couple of matches we had a blaster while the enemy had a bucket) but it at least avoids the miserable double backline vs zero backline matches I kept having in anarchy.
>going to miss bigrun because I am away
>love the Splattershot so far
>try out dualies
>get destroyed in most engagements
I just want to say they're bad, but no I refuse to give up. I feel like i am just not using them correctly. Especially when i need to roll more often. Last game I did exactly that and did significantly better. Any tips with them?
Replies: >>179378
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>playing Tower Control on Mahi-Mahi (it's tolerable)
>one one particular occasion, the maelstrom of bombs and squid body parts on the tower results in a wipeout for my team, with one guy left on the tower
>he immediately jumps off of it to go advance into the enemy base
It's really my mistake for thinking that three separate wipeouts would result in a knockout victory in tower control on a map with three checkpoints.
I doubt that most of this will be helpful since I don't really play dualies, but I'll try. 

Your post roll shots are your best shots, use them. Dualies strongest ability is just making it impossible for your opponents to shoot you while shooting them. Flanking, ambushing and quickly repositioning around enemies at relatively close range seems to turn out good results for a lot of dualies. In general you probably want to know exactly what the hell you want to line your shots up with, before you roll to the position that you will be shooting them from. You can essentially zip out from behind some cover, potentially splat anyone who isn't looking at you, then go back to cover, really quickly
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I'm gonna fuggin SPLATall over this clownfishand you can't stop me
She is an anemone actually. And shes killing her clownfish via neglect.
Replies: >>179439 >>179568
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>superficial pop star killing small animals/children to focus on being hot and popular
So she was the perfect character to promote to in-game for Splatroon 3.
Replies: >>179568
>superficial pop star killing small animals/children to focus on being hot and popular
And crazy? Damn she's got everything. Sounds like a keeper to have many children with.
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Stop trying to fugg the squid, shes not for fugging!
I don't need to stop you, reality already has.
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New Festival


Are you niggers still playing?
Which one did you pick and why?
My queen shiver is spicy so I must follow
Replies: >>183615 >>183735
Spicy bros RISE UP
Replies: >>183615 >>183735
Same here, Spicy ftw
Replies: >>183735
I mean won, holy shit I have been mindbroken.
Replies: >>183735
Spicy = Spics
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I'm going to post some long-overdue gameplay before I go to bed for the evening.
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The internet is a mystical thing in this game.
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Crabtank buffs when?!
Replies: >>183976
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When people realize it's a deathtrap if you don't have the high ground and a "please kill my friends" button even if you do.
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Some more clips.
Squid roll is without a doubt the single most impactful addition Nintendo's made to these games.  I absolutely love it and it's the first thing I'd really miss if I had to go back to 1.
>won a x100 match
We sittin o the float now boys
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I may as well talk a bit more about the game if I'm going to bump the thread. I hat the aeroshitter meta that has come out. Its just spamming booyabombs which is actually better than the tenta missile spam so I guess its an improvement. I've started using the splatlinggun and its actually working out really well for helping be a midfield anchor. My teammates will go ahead and drop on me meaning they can get back in fast and its out of range of aeroshitters. The special being the wavemaker is nice too for pinging faggots and dealing with nerds using ninjasquid and stuff.
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Total nigger death: Achieved.
Replies: >>187851 >>187895
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Literally the only good thing to come from Splatroon is these comics of the run-down and cynical Salmon Run workers. Death to nutendo, death to Israel, and death to anyone who actually paid for this crap.
Replies: >>187833 >>187851
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I paid for this. I love microplastics and the antichrist.
Lmao nice. Though I chose dark chocolate i liked white chocolate just as much. Dark chocolate only won my vote because it went with more stuff. 
Art style is pretty neat.
What will be the new meta after boyeahbomb is nerfed?
Replies: >>187862 >>187867
watching gay porn
>aeroshitter meta
The Aerospary is a terrible fucking weapon and is not nearly meta-defining, simply because it cannot reliably do anything except paint the ground.  The gold aerospray is the only one of the two that is even mildly useful in objective-based game modes, and even then all it does is dispense booyah bombs.  There are actual good weapons which have good kits and also have access to booyah bombs, which are far more powerful for exactly that reason.  See: Sloshing Machine, Hydra Splatling, Glooga Dualies.  The Forge Splattershot Pro is a mediocre weapon propped up by a good kit with suction bomb and booyah bomb, but if you wanted to have a suction bomb there are plenty of other good weapons to use.

It won't be nerfed.  The thing about the booyah bomb that's actually overtuned is the amount of armor you have when activating it before you throw it.  Considering that other panic specials like crab tank and big bubbler haven't been nerfed in ways that make them worse panic options, I see no reason that booyah bomb would be.  You should also remember that booyah bomb is a big, fun thing tha that happens at the push of a button, and it encourages "teamwork" by having your teammates say booyah to power it up.  It's never going to get nerfed in meaningful ways because children love it.

The actual attack portion of the booyah bomb is probably the worst thing about it, and I don't think it really needs a nerf, honestly, especially considering how stupid the recent inkstrike buff was.  I'm much more afraid of a couple inkstrike targets appearing near me than any old booyah bomb.
Replies: >>187875
I guess you're right. I just got annoyed seeing it every 30 seconds and it really it a get out of jail free card. I vastly prefer it to the tenta missile spam, that was some advanced bullshit.
Reminder that octolings are objectively inferior, and this includes marina.
Replies: >>187899
>Reminder that octolings are objectively inferior
To be honest i don't see why octolings even exist at all, design-wise are lazy and they are way inferior to inklings.
Inkling have this cool "mask" betweet their eyes that makes them unique, octolings just look like normal kids with heavy make-up.
Replies: >>187920
There is a squidmans burden copypasta out there and I cannot find it for the life of me.
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Is the kraken coming back?
<startup time
<two hits to kill
<special duration definitely won't scale nearly as hard as splatoon 1 kraken did
It'll probably be balanced, and thus the NA community will immediately dismiss it as "pretty trash ngl."
Replies: >>188232
>two hits to kill
Charged jump killed in one hit. Still going to be pretty bad for anything other than traversing safely in squid form and painting the ground, which usually isn't a problem in Splatoon. The best part of Kraken was squidbagging the point and making it untouchable for a limited time, the only thing they need to do is make that time short enough the opposition still has a window to focus the point. In short it's probably kind of bastardization anyone playing Splatroon deserves.
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This was probably the best thing I will ever do in this game.
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By the way, have you guys ever seen this happen before?  I think this occurred in a match I played in January but I don't recall the specifics.  I bet it has something to do with how the game despawns a player character model once the player dies; there must have been some same-frame collision which removed all the coloring and detail from the model but didn't unload it until the player appeared on the map again.
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And a couple more gameplay clips from the other night.
>Need to buy DLC to go to splatville
Very gay, they could have given that for free at least.
Replies: >>189601
Does that even do anything other than give you Callie & Marie for splatfest?
Replies: >>189605
You get the whole expansion coming out too. From what I understand they do the new announcements for logging in and everything. Who knows what their splatfest is going to be like,
Replies: >>189606 >>189619
>From what I understand they do the new announcements for logging in and everything
They don't, you still get Deep Cut news even if you're in Inkopolis.
Replies: >>189620 >>189624
Yeah but then half the dlc is just a map that you can't even play, just wander with some different npcs. It's absurd how kiked it is.
If the sisters don't even do it then whats the point?
Replies: >>189672
>They don't, you still get Deep Cut news even if you're in Inkopolis.
Lame, the appeal of the DLC is that you won't have to look at that ugly pajeet thing.
My assumption is that the dev team is behind schedule in developing the actual DLC, and management is on their ass to release anything at all.  This was something simple that could be done quickly with minimal effort to tide people over.
The second Big Run has started, so it's time for me to explain why Big Run is shit and needs a rework.  Big Run is supposed to be the Salmon Run equivalent of Splatfest:  you get a special event that changes gameplay in a unique way, changes the game world, and gives you unique rewards.  Unfortunately, the implementation is dogshit.
In Splatfest, you get continual event rewards just for playing.  The sea snails are capped at a certain point, but you continue to get conch shells for the gacha as long as you keep playing.  You get them faster if you win, but you still get some progress if you lose.
In Big Run, the continuous rewards you get are softcapped.  You get two salmon run shifts worth of bonus capsules, but the event lasts longer than a normal salmon run shift so you're not actually coming out that far ahead.  After those capsules, you get gear pieces, which decrease in frequency over time just like in normal Salmon Run.
In Splatfest, an event which is narratively described as competitive, the only difference between your team winning and losing is three sea snails.
In Big Run, an event which is narratively described as cooperatively banding together to fend off an invasion, the only event-unique rewards are locked behind a competition to be in the top X% of players.  Only your top score for the shift counts, and there is no way to know exactly what the cutoff will be until the event is over.  The problems with this should be obvious, but I'll spell them out anyway: this means you are encouraged to grind the event long after all the normal rewards are exhausted if you want the competitive reward, and it means most of your rounds at that point contribute absolutely nothing to your goal.  If you don't beat your previous high score, you gained nothing.  You can't even know for sure when you're safe to stop!  Added to this is an issue that's not a big deal in normal salmon run because the mode isn't built around eggmaxxing: RNG.  Some wave types and tide levels are better for collecting large amounts of eggs than others.  If you get a bad setup once you're in the grinding phase, that round is entirely wasted, through no fault of your own.  This problem is somewhat alleviated by Nintendo's decision to remove some wave types from Big Run, but I don't actually want the special event for the fucking cooperative game mode to remove gameplay elements to make it more fair for competitive play.  If I wanted competitive play I would be playing X Battles, or preferably League Battles if they'll ever fucking give it to us.
TLDR: It sucks and I hate it.
Playing Salmon Run on the PvP maps is fun though.
Replies: >>190301
I missed bigrun A G A I N
Replies: >>190329
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Don't feel too bad.  Inkblot Art Academy is a significantly worse map for this than Wahoo World was, at least the way the devs adapted it to Salmon Run.
Wahoo World:
>High Tide is in the center of the map with the bridges extended, so you have 4 directions the salmonids can come from but very little cover.
>Middle Tide is at one end of the map, with salmonids coming from the center of the map and trying to get through the central choke point.  Lots of cover that you can climb up and down, and good high ground perches for the players.
>Low Tide is in the center of the map again, with the entire map available for salmonids to come in through.  This mostly means you'll need to defend the high ground in the middle against salmonids coming up the sides, and then go out to kill shore bosses like Flyfish and Stingers and Big shots.  There were also salmonids that spawned on the raised areas at the sides.

Inkblot Art Academy (the map layout for this one is sort of a combination of two game modes - it's like pic 3 with the ramp from pic 2 leading into each side's courtyard, WITHOUT the big stack of boxes in the middle):
>High Tide is at one end of the map (near the players' spawns in normal game modes), with only two or three spawn points for salmonids and several different layers of high ground for the players to defend.  It's honestly a fun map configuration except for all the unpaintable walls.
>Middle Tide moves the basket where the "clam sculpture" is normal game modes and opens up the entire rest of the map except for the low areas on the sides.  It sucks because most of the salmonid spawn points are close to the center of the map, so they end up in this huge mass of meat on ramps while bosses are free to set up shop wherever they want in the middle.
>Low Tide is the exact same as Middle Tide except it opens up the low areas on the sides, which provides an additiontal 2 far spots where shore bosses can spawn, which sucks.  The basket is in a central location in the middle of the map.

There are a few problems with Inkblot:
>Low Tide and Middle Tide feel like the same map configuration.
>Middle Tide is annoying because shore bosses can spawn on the OTHER SIDE OF THE MAP, requiring you to slog through everything that has accumulated in the middle.
>When too much stuff piles up in the middle, you get performance problems which can make it impossible to win because the game logic is still running at 60FPS but you can only move at 30FPS.
>Most of the walls can't be inked, which makes it annoying to move around.
>The lack of a stack/tower in the middle of the map makes everything flat and boring, and makes it hard to avoid the salmonids when you need to go through the middle to track down and kill the two Stingers and a Flyfish that spawned on the far side of the map.
>Getting a fog special wave exacerbates the problems with far shore bosses because you literally can't see them until they start shooting at you.
>When the boss, Horrorboros, spawns, it's entirely possible for his giant, long body to block Stingers and Flyfish that are located on the upper levels, making them very difficult or outright impossible to kill.

My frustration lies with how entirely dependent on RNG it is to get a high score (although apparently my 117 was just barely good enough to qualify for silver, which is nice).  The high score videos I've seen aren't being played by people who have much better co-ordination and precision than my friends and I, but they just simply don't get any Stingers or Flyfish spawning.  They're never yanked away from the main basket, which means they can spend all their time killing trash and delivery bosses like dolphins, Scrappers, and Maws(es).  All their Goldies drop 5 or 10 eggs instead of 1.

I was really excited for Inkblot to get the Big Run treatment because I like it a lot in normal game modes, but it turned out extremely poorly.  I hope that they can understand what they're doing wrong and make better Big Run maps in the future, as well as make adjustments to the mode so that it's less grindy.
Replies: >>190330 >>190472
>it's like pic 3 with the ramp from pic 2 
*it's like pic 3 with a ramp leading into your base from the middle area
>The high score videos I've seen aren't being played by people who have much better co-ordination and precision than my friends and I, but they just simply don't get any Stingers or Flyfish spawning.
It's actually worse than that.  My high score was double mothership (and one bad normal tide wave, which is why it was just barely not enough for gold).
Mothership is a free 45-55 eggs unless you get absolutely fucked on weapons, high tide mothership can go upwards of 60 if your team has its shit together.  These "jackpot" waves are fine in normal salmon run because your high scores don't actually mean anything other than slightly faster progress to the reward that every player can easily get anyway.  When you're doing a high score competition they screw everything up badly because they're so much better and so much easier than normal waves.
>salmon run match that wasn't a shitshow
Holy shit, a unicorn.
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